Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I got this question regarding my introduction on plant automation
today from John.
Gotta ask, How many cars do those robots buy?
John
I will answer this with a story. I was an employee of Wohlert Special
Products for almost 20 years. The parent company Wohlert Corporation
had started before the turn of the century manufacturing the Bates
Motorcar. Early in the 1900's people got tired of cranking cars to start
them and the electric starter was invented and really took off during
WWI. Wohlert perfected the ring gear that the starter turns to crank your
engine over and at one time made every ring gear that GM used along
with gears for everything from Cummins Diesels to Maseratis. This was
done on low tech equipment mostly bought at DOD auctions as surplus
and from GM when factories shut down. Wohlert employed over a 1000
employees at its main plant and had two smaller plants in Michigan and
a plant in Mexico. The main plant was unionized and the others weren't.
The other plants had state of the art computer controlled machines
instead of manual ones because the union demanded a substantial
increase in wages to operated anything high tech even though it would
have made their jobs a lot easier.
Over the years the main plant continued to lose more money because
of reduced productivity while the other plants became very profitable
even though they added jobs every year. Finally in 2003-2004 with
a glut of cars on the market, increased pension costs, and health
care that tripled in one year the main plant declared bankruptcy and
as the continued success of the other branches required the main
plant to stay in business it became a liquidation rather than a
reorganization. The only portion that remained in business was Mexico
because of the way it had been incorporated and it went on under
different ownership. Almost 600 employees had to look for new jobs
and retirees were left without a cent. The majority of the jobs went
to India and South America although some did get absorbed by
companies in the United States.
I do believe if the company had grown with technology they would still
be in business. Now I answer John's question with a series of questions?
How many cars can Wohlert employees buy with their paychecks?
How many cars can Wohlert retirees buy with their pensions?
How many Studebaker Employees are buying cars ?
How many Dinosaurs are buying new cars?
Evolution in business, the same as in life is not a yes or no question.
Change or perish is the only answer. We could have gave the dinosaurs
trillions 400 million years ago and without a plan they would be just
as extinct today. Those that can change and adapt will survive, it has
been proven since creation whether you believe in Noah and the Ark
or the Neanderthals. If this was so simple a caveman could do it, they
would still be around and so would the Bates Motorcar.
Enjoy the chips and have a great week buffalo
P.S. If you don't know already, our website is currently ad free
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Greek Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he is on the stool next to her. They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman, "You're really hot!"
You're pretty cute, too," she says to him. "I'll tell you what. I live just around the corner. What do you think about coming up to my place?"
It sounds great!" the man eagerly replies. Before we go up there though the woman says, "I have to ask you one question: Do you like doing it Greek style?"
"Well...uh..
"Definitely!
"All right, then," says the woman. "Take off all your clothes, and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees."
"Sounds like fun!" the man exclaims. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees. The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man.
She kneels down in front of his head. She asks him again,
"Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" says the man.
The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits, getting him in a lock hold. He can't move at all, and his head is pressing right into her chest. One more time she says, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
The man's muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts.
"Yeah!" he mumbles, "Greek style!"
The woman's grip on him tightens like a vice to where he couldn't get away if he tried, and she yells out, . . . "Hey Nikos, he's ready!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Rimming
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Bank Robbery
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Car Is Fixed
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The teacher had caught little Johnny gambling several times. She requested a conference with Johnny's dad who admitted that he also had tried to break Johnny of his gambling habit. After many failed efforts, Johnny one day (after school) called the teacher a hypocrite.
"Why do you say that, Johnny," she asked.
"Because you are."
Again she asked, "why."
He said, "Because you're not a true blonde."
She demanded to know how much money Johnny had.
It came to about $50. She bet him $50 dollars she was a true blonde. She went behind her desk and removed her panties.
Then she stood with her back to the door and pulled her dress up showing her radiantly blonde pubic hair. Afterwards she called the father and told him what she had done "in Johnny's best interest."
The father moaned and groaned and cried, "Oh, no," numerous times.
The teacher said, "Look, I did this for Johnny. Do you think it was easy for me to pull up my dress and show Johnny my pussy? I'd think you'd be understanding instead of critical!"
The father replied, "Oh, I'm not so upset that you showed Johnny your pussy, it's just that..."
"Just that what?" the embarrassed teacher asked.
The father replied, "It's just that I decided to break Johnny of betting myself, and this morning I bet him that he was wrong when he boasted that before the day was over, he'd have you lifting your skirt and showing him your pussy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"But this isn't an engagement ring." the young lady
protested. "Why it's just a tiny unset diamond."
"Yeah! I know." said the fellow, "And, it'll be
mounted in a cluster around a big one, the very day
after you are."
~~~~~~
Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age. Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?" He replied, "Probably the same thing."
~~~~~
Did you every wonder which gives a hermaphrodite a bigger turn-on, - a man or a woman?
Or do they just get hard and wet at the same time?
~~~~~~
Woman of the 21st Century wears Gucci shoes, Prada bag, brings cellphone and laptop, and thinks Cooking & Fucking are two cities in China.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Apology Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a "dirty son of a bitch" to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office Christmas Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today and as this is my last day, I'd like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I would prefer speaking to everyone personally, but all of you seem to go deaf and dumb whenever I try to talk to you.
First, to our dear and beloved boss, I am sorry for all the things I called you Friday afternoon. I'm very much aware that your father is not a baboon, nor your mother a Chinese whore. Your wife is a delightful woman, and my story of you buying her for 50 cents in Tijuana was strictly a figment of my imagination. Your children are undoubtedly yours, too. About the water cooler incident, you'll never know how badly I feel about it, and I hope you didn't hurt your head when they were trying to get the glass jug off.
To Mary, I express my deepest regrets. In my own defence, I must remind you that you seemed to enjoy our little escapade on the stairway as much as I did until the banister broke and we fell eight feet to the second floor landing. In spite of the rupture you incurred when I landed on top of you, I am sure you will admit that when we landed it was one of the biggest thrills you have ever had.
Sam, you old cuss, you've just got to forgive me for that little prank I played on you. If I had known you were goosey, I'd have never done it. It would have been a lot worse if that fat lady hadn't been standing right under the window you jumped through. She really broke your fall a lot. People have been killed falling three stories.
Gene, I regret telling the fireman it was you who turned in the false alarm. But, of course, I had no way of knowing they would make such a bad report of it. Those fire hoses sure have a lot of pressure don't they? And the water is cold!!
Don, I know how you must feel about me. Opening the door to the broom closet suddenly must have startled you and Millie quite badly, and to think how hard you bumped your chin on the shelf when you bent over to pull up your pants, it makes me sick. We'll have to get together for dinner some night after the dentist finishes your plates.
Mary, the only excuse I can offer for stealing all your clothes and hiding them when I found you passed out in the ladies room, is that I was drunk. Also, I want you to know I was very embarrassed when I couldn't remember where I hid them and you had to go home in that old sofa cover. Running your falsies up the flag pole was a bit too much, but like I said, I was a little drunk.
To all of you, I am sorry. Setting Jan's panties on fire seemed funny at the time, and it makes me sad to hear that her husband is divorcing her because of it.
Urinating in everyone's drink was in bad taste, and not telling them about it until all the drinks were gone was even worse.
Now that I have apologized to all of you, I know that I am forgiven. Even though I no longer work there, I will do my darnest to come to the picnic next Friday
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wine Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dinner party of different nationalities had
arrived at a restaurant. They each ordered a
glass of wine, but when the wine arrived they
noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in
it.
* The Swede demanded to have new wine in the
same glass.
* The Englishman demanded to have new wine in
a new glass.
* The Finn picked the fly out of the wine and
drank the wine.
* The Russian drank the wine, fly and all.
* The Chinese ate the fly but left the wine.
* The jew caught the fly and sold it to the
Chinese.
* The Roman drank two thirds of the wine and
then demanded to have new wine.
* The Norwegian took the fly and went off to
fish for cod.
* The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in
the wine, which he then donated to the
Englishman.
* The American sued the restaurant and claimed
for a 65 million dollar compensation for
mental suffering.
* The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat
and roared: 'Now spit out all that you
swallowed!!'
* The Ostrobothnian claimed it was an evil
democrat scheme and gave the waiter a nasty
stab with his knife. He also refused to drink
the wine, as this is women's business and
wondered loudly what is keeping the vodka he
ordered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
Morris returns from a long business trip and finds out that his wife has been unfaithful during his time away.
"Who was it!!!???" he yells. "That bastard Goldstein?"
"No," replied his wife. "It wasn't Goldstein."
"Was it Feldman, that dirty old man?"
"No, not him."
"Aha! Then it must have been that idiot Rabinovich!"
"No, it wasn't Rabinovich either..."
Morris was now fuming. "What's the matter?" he cried.
"None of my friends are good enough for you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Thanksgiving with Brother Bob
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John w/ Its Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
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Thanksgiving In Our Hearts
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How Great Thou Art Via Campman
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Surfin Surfari
Christmas Games
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Real Names
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Cranial Nerves
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
LINKABLE COUNTRY
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Christmas Gifs
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Christmas Images
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The Woodshed - Christmas Midi Files
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Animal World
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Romantic
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Sex In The Future
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How They Made IT
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuffed Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuffing Recipe for Thanksgiving
This turkey recipe includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing --
imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for
people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is
thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try:
8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'
taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter
salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in
baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven
door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done. And, you
thought I didn't cook...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ill Steer
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bo Peep was giving him head,
As soon as he came she started to weep,
She knew by the taste he'd been fucking her sheep.
Said a thoughtful young stud of Brasilia,
"One orgasmic spasm would fillya,
So I'll just let the rest
Gush out on your chest;
If I shot it inside it'd killya."
A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm:
The size wasn't much
But its volume was such
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lawyer died. Having not lived an
all-that-honest life he found Himself at
the gates of Hell.
"Welcome to Hell" announced the Devil
greeting him warmly.
"Glad you could join us. As your last
taste of free will, you are allowed to
choose which of three possible places
that you will spend the rest of eternity."
There were three doors behind the Devil.
He opened the first door. Flames shot into
the room and the lawyer could see thousands
of people amidst the fire.
"No" said the lawyer. "Not this one."
The Devil opened the second door. The
lawyer could see thousands of People
slaving away at a large rock-pile. They
were all being whipped as they Hammered
the large boulders into smaller boulders.
"No" again said the lawyer.
Finally, the devil opened up that last door
which showed thousands of People in a
incredibly large lake with vomit up to their
chins. All of them Were chanting
'Don't make waves, don't make waves...'
"That's awful!!" commented the lawyer in
repulsion.
"You think that's bad?" asked the devil, "you
should see it when the angels spend the
weekend here with their jet-skis!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Cheers! to a funny looking tall skinny man who opposed
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experience, served in the Illinois legislature, and served less
than four years in Congress before being elected president...
Honest Abe, you did a damn good job.
Oh, and Barack Obama.... Three Cheers! to you too!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1475
The Trip to the Game
BJ: Sure is pretty country out here Diana.
Diana: Yes, it is. I sure hate to mention this but, we
really need to hurry to get there on time.
BJ: Okay.
Katie: Father?
BJ: Yes, Katie.
Katie: I need to use the woods.
BJ: Didn't you go before we left the house?
Katie: No. I did not know where Tulsa was.
I need to go.
Diana: You know Katie likes to run, so be careful.
BJ: Okay, but on a leash.
Pulling over.
Rudy: Toots?
Diana: Yes.
Rudy: I could go to.
Diana: Arrrgh!!!
BJ: I only brought one leash. I will hurry with Katie.
About 20 minutes later.
Diana: What took you so long?
BJ: Ask Katie. She had to find the perfect spot.
Katie: A lady can not be too discreet.
Rudy: I really have to go.
Diana: Okay let me unhook Katie and hook you up.. let's go.
Rudy: Before I go.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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