THE POSTMAN'S CORNER A hard on doesn't count as personal growth BE SURE TO SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS. THE KEEP THE POSTAN'S CORNER free to all who ask for it!  Claim yours now! Visit to receive your $1000 Gas Gift Card! http://www.thepostm  Get the latest celebrity and entertainment gossip delivered right to your doorsteps for FREE! Simply choose between UsWeekly, People Magazine or InTouch Weekly and you'll receive a FREE 1 Year Subscription to the magazine you selected! http://www.thepostm  Stop using ordinary mixers and blenders. Use the same mixer the professionals use. With more size and power your FREE Kitchen Aid(R) Pro5(TM) will help you serve your best! http://www.thepostm  Choose between Ping(R) G10, NIKE(R) SUMO, or Callaway(R) X-20 Tour Irons! These top clubs will improve your feel and add precision to your game! Get your set of New Clubs, an $800 value, for FREE! http://www.thepostm Good morning postman fans! I want to let you know that I will be having surgery tomorrow (Wednesday) Its not a major deal, just outpatient. According to them, I go in at noon and should be on the way home by about 5 or 6 pm. I am having surgery on my ears. Seems I have a small puncture in the eardrum. I may or may not do an issue tomorrow. We shall see how things go. The plan is that this will improve my hearing, hopefully. I got to thinking about it after we scheduled the surgery, I am not so sure this is a good idea. After all, if I can hear properly again, then I will be able to hear every- thing she tells me. That may not be so good:) Say a prayer to the man upstairs for me tomorrow that things will go well. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS welcome to hell http://www.thepostm sex therapist http://www.thepostm topless bar http://www.thepostm physical contact http://www.thepostm better start drinking http://www.thepostm ____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES the pope confirms ufos http://www.thepostm you fail Electric fence http://www.thepostm Austrailian tourism ad http://www.thepostm protect your valuables http://www.thepostm the dog and the monkey http://www.thepostm Young Clint http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF scary http://www.thepostm college prank http://www.thepostm monster party http://www.thepostm global warming http://www.thepostm  Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway on the opening day of deer season. They both saw a trophy-class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came by slowly. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the procession had passed. Of course, by then, the deer was long gone. The other hunter exclaimed "Wow! That was the most sportsman like act I've ever seen!You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!" The first hunter nodded and said, "Well, we were married for 42 years." ____________ It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.The teacher said,"Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.'Very good!'Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar. you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'She heard a loud whisper: 'Fuck the Indians,''Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'The teacher fainted.And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people, November 4th, 2008". ____________ Tom in deep thoughts is very quiet. Jerry asks, "What is wrong with you, Tom?" "Please don't ask." "I'm your best friend. You can talk to me." "My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant." "That's not possible." "No, he did." "How?" "He punctured my condoms!" ____________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ___________ THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD... BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. ____________ "Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife. "What, hon?" she asks."The mailman has had sex with every woman on our block but one." "Huh," his wife says, "I bet it's that 96 year old snooty Phyllis next door." ____________ A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." ___________ Buffalo Bill Asshole Birth control http://www.buffalos Blowing new years http://www.buffalos Girls Are Evil http://tinyurl. Man's Greatest Wish http://tinyurl. I Need a Hug Pleeease http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
.
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment