Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
November 8,2000
It is 0230 here and CBS announced twenty minutes ago that George
Bush is the New President Of The United States. To all my Democratic
friends out there HEH HEH !!! How will this affect us?? I think Bush
will provide us with reams of humorous material as the Republican
Presidents in the past have but it will never be as spicy as
President Clinton. I know many of you stayed up late to watch this
down to the wire race so I am going to get these chips out so that
you can take a little break..
November 9, 2000
Boy it sure was nice hearing from all of you last night and today.
Usually my mistakes go more or less unnoticed but when you tell
40,000 people that someone has been elected President and they
haven't you get mail from your fellow Americans , people in Canada,
India, the UK and some places I didn't know even had internet
service, let alone followed the elections. It is the best election I
can remember even with my premature congratulations and the thrill
isn't over yet with other states with close races contemplating
recounts.
Ok I called that one right eight years ago even though it took a
couple of months and the Supreme Court to prove me right. I
guess I can congratulate Barack Obama on being elected as
the next President without much fear of being called wrong and my
sense of sportsmanship requires it.. So good luck sir and please try
not to leave the office in worse shape than you found it. To
Governor Palin if the country is around in 2012, considering the
curse of the Mayan calendar and not today's election, you will have
my vote again. To Senator McCain, You fought a great fight with the
blame for the economy and a dozen other things that were not of your
doing hanging around your neck and I salute you.
I plan on trying to catch up on my sleep tomorrow so if all you see
is snoring instead of chips in your mail box you know what happened
to me.
buffalo
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JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
Each one had a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents,
Do you think they went for water?
Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky panky,
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Jack must have been a Yankee!
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
For just an itty bitty.
Jill is now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Is Linus gay? Find out in,
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Explore the real problems of child abuse in America in,
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See how the PEANUTS gang deals with date rape in,
NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!
Discover a father's forbidden love in,
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Franklin speaks The PEANUTS gang gets a lesson in Ebonics
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Charlie Brown peddles his body for crack money while stealing Social
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I realized that I couldn't satisfy my wife's insatiable sex
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faithful."
"Did it work ?" asked the friend.
"Well, kinda..." the man replied. "But now, every time I do feel
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The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being
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"Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook
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It was really something else, man!" said the cadet policeman to his
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Golf Chips
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language?" asked the Priest.
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line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground
after going about 100 yards."
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were feeling. So this is when you swore?"
"No Father," said the man,
"You see, after that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my
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"And this is when you swore?" asked the Father again.
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"And it was then that you swore?" asked the amazed Priest.
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The priest sighed,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ole Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, "I tink its time!" So, Ole
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ting,
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Ole said, "Yeah, I do. Uffda!, it's a darn good ting I didn't get
the WD-40."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two major party presidential candidates today agreed that
Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular
entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details. The
Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that there is too much
bloody violence in the movies and on television. Vice President Al
Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media
present Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity. In other
words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is too
much bush.
One Sunday in church, the Bishop's daughter got up to speak. After
giving thanks to all of her relatives, saying how much she loves the
church, her parents, dog and everything in her life... she finally
ended her testimony by saying, "and our house has become a lot nicer
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allowed to say 'Shut-up' or 'fart' in our house."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young girl from Hoboken
Who said that her hymen was broken
From riding her bike
Down a cobblestone pike
When it really was broken from pokin'
There once was a knight named sir Lancelot,
Whom the people all looked at askance a lot
For whenever he'd pass,
A delectable lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.,
In the White House there roams a liberal named Bill
Whose election wrought repubicans ill will
But when Bill made a mess
On the intern's new dress
Republicans sought impeachment with zeal
The word spread like fire through our land
of an affair that got perversly out of hand
While Hillary was playing dumb
Her husband was getting gummed
In the halls of our great high command
Now while Bill did his job without care
The nation went ga ga over the Capitol pair
And it wasn't till later
After he lied we found he did cater
To the tempations of the girl with big hair
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dogs Vs Cats
* Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they're
horny.
* Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
* Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won't even let you throw
them.
* Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before
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* No one has ever had to "Beware of the Cat."
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* Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your
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* Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.
* Why do you think they call it "Dog Breath?"
* Garfield. Odie. Enough said.
Harveythefrogprince
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim and Sally had an awful fight. Sally told Jim, "I want a divorce
and before I kick you out you can take three things with you!"
Jim pondered for a few moments and angrily replied, "Okay witch! I
want my golf clubs, shoes and my balls!" and stormed out the door.
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Jim looked at them with a disgusted look and said, "Duh, she's going
to get my balls anyway so I took them now before I lost 'em!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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