Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Nancy has put some new movies up and will be adding more
for us as she gets the chance. She is currently stuck on a
dial-up connection at home when she is nursing her boyfriend
after his back surgery. This does make building pages slow
even if I manage to get the movies in their files. I want to give
a recommendation for Site Ground web hosting if anyone is
looking to build a website. It took awhile to sort things out but
I got more help from their tech support than I ever received
from any other company. The last company said here's your
control panel, better learn Linux because we won't touch your
site, and they charged us 5 times as much.
For those of you that have patiently waited, the new pages have
a download link for the content on there so you can save it on your
computer and pass it around.
A special thanks to those that send me toons and movie clips for
the website. I can't thank you individually on the pages but we do
appreciate it. Out of the thousands of pages Nancy has built, all
of them have been sent in by readers, much the same as most
of the jokes and links we use. This is just as much your newsletter
as it is mine. We are a herd.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Elvis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in
Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation.
He has never been married and he is curious as to
what an American endures in everyday life. So, he
decides to go to the States before it is too late. He
hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in
the Airport in Las Vegas.
As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport
runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God!
It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How
have you been?"
Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face.
Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing
like Elvis."
The father moves on to his cab waiting outside.
He hops in his cab and
he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me
to my hotel and step on it."
The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh
my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm
your number one fan! It's so great to see you!"
"Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn
around and drive!"
So the cabby speeds up to the hotel.
Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to
the hotel check-in counter.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the
hotel clerk. "You're back
Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved
everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers,
peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches, masseurs,
complementary hookers and a full liquor bar! I'm
so glad you're back!"
Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says,
"Thank you…. Thank you very much!"
Karl
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Chicken
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Mid-Life
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Differences
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Mouse Gator
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Computer Tree
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Sticky Art
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Coke Job
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Stripper Strike
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Billy's Plan
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bike Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liana was a beautiful girl. As she was
walking through the woods on a hot summers day, the heat became too much for her and she decided to go for a swim. She took off all her clothes, piled them neatly on the side of the riverbank and dove in.
A couple of young boys came along and
decided to steal her clothes.
Having gotten out of the water and
discovered her clothes had been stolen,
Liana decided to go to the roadside and
hitch a ride home.
Along came Steve, riding a bicycle. He
stopped for Liana.
"Come," he said, "I'll ride you into town."
She jumped on his bicycle and rode
side-saddle in front of him. Steve said
nothing, but after ten minutes Liana was so overwhelmed at how calm he was that she said, "Tell me, haven't you noticed that I'm completely naked?"
"Sure," said Steve. "Haven't you noticed that you're riding on a girls bike?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?
Douche with beer.
What do you call a gay gentleman from the Deep South?
A homo-sex-y'all.
Hear about the new gay sitcom?
Leave it, it's Beaver.
Why is sex is like software?
For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.
What's the most active muscle in a woman ?
The penis.
What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
What's the definition of a vicious circle?
A pussy with teeth.
How can you tell if a woman really likes oral sex?
She hikes up her skirt every time someone yawns.
How do you get a woman off during sex?
Push her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watch Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young Jew and an old Jew are riding on a bus
in Jerusalem.
The young Jew asks, "Excuse me, sir, what time
is it?"
The old Jew doesn't answer.
"Excuse me, sir," the young Jew asks again,
"what time is it?"
The old Jew looks up him, but still doesn't
answer.
The young Jew is puzzled, "Sir, forgive me for
interrupting you all the time, but I really
want to know what time it is. Why won't you
answer me?"
The old Jew turns toward the young man and says,
"Son, the next stop is the last on this route.
I don't know you, so you must be a stranger to
this land. If I answer you now, according to
Jewish tradition, I must invite you to my
home. You're handsome and I have a beautiful
daughter. You would fall in love with her and
you'd want to get married. And tell me, why
would I want a son-in-law who can't even afford
a fucking watch?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Death Row Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row.
The Warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."
Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing.
The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with
this guy. Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those
shots," so the guards did.
Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
"You guys are so stupid.....I'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Smoking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diary of a Smoker-Quitting
This Sucks
Day One: Shit.
Day One again only the next day:
Have tried to kill husband twice.
Decide against washing dishes
as always have cigarette when done.
Same for bathroom.
Am suddenly thinking this has upside.
Eating dried fruit, apricots, pears, and brown things that look like squished roaches, which remind me of doobie roaches, which remind me of cigarettes. Watch husband light a cigarette; look at him pitifully. Eat leftover beans from last night - that'll show him. Walk by computer and wave occasionally. Can't sit and write or surf as this has been main smoking area. It's about four-o' clock now; I could have just one, I could have just one, I could have just one. That's Mr. Nicotine. He lives with me; 'he' could be a chick, but frankly, right now, I don't frigging care. Decide to play fantasy game on Playstation. Spend next three hours breeding Chocobos so game hero can save world. World doomed in my opinion.
Day two, morning:
Woke up two hours earlier than usual.
Great; two extra hours of fencing practice
with the RJ Reynolds Company and spawn.
Seriously considering finding some hallucinogens as never had desire for nicotine during a really good walk through a wall. Woke up six times during night to pee because I drank four gallons of water "to assist my system flush poison." Am feeling unusually testy as result of lack of sleep and deep-seated oral fixation fantasies. Decide to either kill or have sex with mail carrier when post arrives. Probably both.
Day 2, afternoon:
See husband off to airport for business trip.
Clean closets. Nothing new in mail.
Did all laundry out of necessity -
body of dead mail carrier would not fit in dryer otherwise.
Put in extra dryer sheets
(Arm and Hammer, biodegradable.
Decide to take walk.
Meet neighbor who asks if mail came yet.
She is smoking a cigarette.
I tell her no out of spite.
Day 3, morning:
Go through dead man's mail bag;
keep catalogues for joyous Christmas shopping.
Feed rest down garbage disposal.
Day 3, Afternoon:
Call garbage disposal repair.
Day 4: Receive visitor.
Police looking for missing mail carrier -
received anonymous tip from garbage disposal repair person. Make coffee and offer fat-free cookies and dried fruit. Arrange dried fruit to make smiley faces on plate. Police officer asks if I mind if he smokes. Burst in to tears. Confess.
Day 472:
Sentenced to death in murder of Postal Employee.
( Federal crime.)
Day 478:
Beaten by seven large women in prison
for having no cigarettes to trade.
Able to sing better now; make up prison blues songs.
Day 552:
Receive divorce papers:
husband marrying tobacco heiress.
Cell-mate offers to have ex husband whacked.
Wants twelve cartons of cigarettes
and one pair Doc Marten boots.
Decide husband will live as price too steep.
Day 558:
Secure two cartons of cigarettes for payment
to cell-mate to have defense attorney whacked.
Feel better.
Day 691:
Served last meal - minister asks if
anything wanted at last moments.
Think back to how good cigarette after meals used to be. Request one last smoke. Minister reluctant, no smoking in federal building, but sneaks one in. Sit back, relax, smoke. Ahhhhh. Feel slightly dizzy, giddy, euphoric. Warden enters cell excitedly; Governor issues full pardon due to new Federal "It Takes a Village" crimes statute: allows for defense appeal of insanity by reason of severe nicotine withdrawal.
Day 1: Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you like RC Toys we have them
The Copper1 MedEvac and Fire Rescue Helicopters
are next year's hottest RC Toys. This 2009 version
came in early and has limited quantity.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Oh Holy Night/Marlene
http://summerhoosie
Amazing Grace Via Carol
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Carolyn w/ I Tan't Wait Till Quithmuth Day~ Mel Blanc
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Feelings Via Carol
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Surfin Surfari
National Traffic and Road Closure Information
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Snow and Ice data
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Christmas Facts!
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WWI Human Art
http://www.shangral
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Wallpaper Via George
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Image sharing
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Free online Trojan Scanner - Scan your system for Trojans
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Benny Hill Wishing Well
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Be Quiet
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Best Casino Ad Ever
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Best First Dance At A Wedding
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Best Video Of The Year
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Beer Fridge
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Best Video
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Big Screen TV
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Bike Meets Post
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Billiards
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a woman in my office became engaged,
a colleague offered her some advice. "The first
ten years are the hardest," she said.
"How long have you been married?" I asked.
"Ten years," she replied.
- - - - -
This couple had been going out together for
quite a while and was thinking about getting
married. They finally decided to spend a night
in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible.
The next morning he dropped her off at her
apartment and he said, "So long Lucy."
She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
- - - - -
The young Swedish au pair had been working
for the Schmitts for more than a year. While
hardworking and efficient, she still struggled
with English.
One day she told Mrs. Schmitt that she had
received good news from her boyfriend Sven.
"He is coming visit me from army next week!"
"That's wonderful," the woman replied. "How
long is his furlough?"
"Oh," the young woman said, "about long as
Mr. Schmitt's. Maybe little thicker."
Karl
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
strong and silent
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I'm amazed
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pickin up chicks
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How can you
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Winner
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poem Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever wonder how the seven dwarfs got their names?
Miss Snow White was a randy cow,
And desperate for a fuck.
So off she went into the woods,
To try and get some luck!
She'd almost given up looking,
When she saw some chimney smoke.
Then stumbled on a cottage,
And went in for a poke.
Her clothes came off in seconds.
And she'd just removed her pants,
When seven Dwarfs came marching in,
With a merry song and dance.
Snow White just stood there speechless,
And thought she was in heaven!
Originally after one good shag,
But now she could have seven.
Straight away she took command,
"My cunt now needs a lick!"
And when one dwarf moved forward,
She said "Oi-you'd better drop you prick!"
So down he went onto all fours,
And said "I ain't licking that!"
"Not there, that me ass-hole,
You DOPEY little brat!"
The next dwarf started blushing,
"Do we have to do it here?"
Snow White said "Don't be BASHFUL!
Unless you're fucking queer!"
So reluctantly he whipped it out,
To prove he was no fool.
And Snow White gave a big "Heigh-Ho"
As she rode upon his tool.
Now one dwarf wasn't smiling,
'Cos he hadn't had a sniff.
And due to his impatience,
He couldn't raise a stiff.
"Relax, you GRUMPY idiot",
So he did as he was told.
And as soon as he was hard enough,
He shot his fucking load.
The next dwarf got a blow
And she took him in quite easy.
But she just avoided brain-damage,
When he sneezed, she called him SNEEZY.
With three dwarves left, she turned and said,
"You're next, I want your knob!"
But no sooner had he entered her,
Than he was sleeping on the job.
"Wake up you SLEEPY idiot"
She wanted more from him.
And he woke with such excitement,
That he filled her hairy qirm.
The next dwarf rammed his up her,
And shagged her cunt raw.
And dazed Snow White then whimpered,
"That should be against the law!"
He made poor Snow White tremble,
He was so big and thick.
"No wonder you're so HAPPY,
With that fucking great big dick."
With one dwarf still remaining,
But feeling rather sore,
She said "You'll have to use your tongue,
My cunt can't take no more.!"
And so he put his tongue to work,
Where others had put their cocks.
And 'cos he made Snow White feel better,
She named the last one DOC.
Now Snow White couldn't do much,
With all that cum inside her quim,
So she grabbed a cup, and squatted,
And filled it to the brim.
So there's the truth about the dwarfs,
And how they got their names,
By satisfying miss Snow White,
And joining in her games.
There's one more thing you need to know,
And that's what happened to that cup?
Well think of what you're drinking...
When you next buy 7-UP
Susan
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer. *Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and vegetables.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sergeant and two men from his platoon went to
a tavern near the base one night. The sergeant
asked an attractive army nurse to join him in a
game of pool.
The nurse said, "I would rather play with your
privates."
~~~~~
Little Johnny is wandering up and down the aisles
of a supermarket crying his eyes out.
"What's the matter fella?" asked a stock boy.
"I've lost my mommy!" wailed Little Johnny.
"Don't worry, we'll soon find her," soothed the stock boy.
"Now tell me, what's mommy like?"
"Bourbon and men with big, hard cocks,"
sobbed Little Johnny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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To Order follow the link below:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife and the next door lady were friends but would get into a fight over the damndest things the neighbor and finally laid down the law no more fighting.
they promised and thry got along good for quite awhile one day I came home and wife was all beat up hair a mess scratches and a black eye.Before I could say a word she says it wasnt my fault.I went to the docter today he said to bring a sample of urine I didnt know what that was so I asked Gladis she said. Piss in a bottle
I said shit in a hat and the fight was on. ol john
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1480
The Stuffing
Thanksgiving meal is done...the belts have been loosen. The dogs have
been fed. The TV is on, eyes are glazed over.
Rudy: What are we watching?
Katie: Moan...don't know.
Sandi: I forgot after the last leg of turkey.
BJ: Moan, I am so miserable.
Diana: Anybody want desert?
Rudy: Go away!
Katie: Stop!
BJ: No more!
Sandi: Yes, I will have some.
Diana: What would you like? We have some pumpkin pie, cherry pie,
chocolate pie, apple pie.
Sandi: Yes, one slice of each.
Diana: You are kidding right?
Sandi: No, and some ice cream to go with it please.
Rudy: I got to go outside, I am feeling ill.
Katie: I am right behind you.
Sandi: Maybe sprinkle some nuts on the pie also and some whipped cream.
BJ: I will join you guys.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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