Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I ran this piece last year around Veteran's Day and missed it
this year but I think it is worth repeating anytime of the year
especially since a group of people that reject everything that is
good about our country have decided to use my mailbox as a
dumping place. I hope they all wake up some morning in Moscow.
"These Good Men"
I now know why men who have been to war yearn to reunite.
Not to tell stories or look at old pictures. Not to laugh
or weep. Comrades gather because they long to be with the
men who once acted their best, men who suffered and
sacrificed, who were stripped raw, right down to their humanity.
I did not pick these men. They were delivered by fate and
the U.S. Marine Corps. But I know them in a way I know no
other men. I have never given anyone such trust. They were
willing to guard something more precious than my life.
They would have carried my reputation, the memory of me.
It was part of the bargain we all made, the reason we were
so willing to die for one another.
I cannot say where we are headed. Ours are not perfect
friendships; those are the province of legend and myth.
A few of my comrades drift far from me now, sending back
only occasional word. I know that one day even these
could fall to silence. Some of the men will stay close,
a couple, perhaps, always at hand.
As long as I have memory, I will think of them all,
every day. I am sure that when I leave this world, my
last thought will be of my family and my comrades.
....such good men.
"These Good Men" by Michael Norman
buffalo says I am off shortly into the snow on a secret mission. Have
a good evening, enjoy the chips and don't let the weather get you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Conversation Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So hello, Mabel. Yeah. I thought I'd call and tell you what happened
on my date last night. Gee, what a guy he was. A real he-man. Y'know
what I mean? And what a kisser...
No, he wasn't ugly. I mean, he really knew how to kiss. Yeah...
Well, when we were having dinner he asked me if I'd like to have
breakfast with him. And I said, 'Sure'. So he said, 'Should I phone
you, or nudge you?'. . ."
". . . So like 1 was telling you, Mabel, he took me home in a cab.
Yeah. Boy, what a spender...
Well, we got to my house, and 1 kissed him goodnight on the stoop. But
he wasn't satisfied. He came right inside with me. So I said, 'Looka
here. You have no business in my room at this time of the night.' I
wanted him to know that 1 was a lady. And you know what he said? He
said, '1 didn't come here for business. I came for pleasure.' How d'ya
like that?...
You know how I try to keep all men at arm's length. Can I help it if I
have very short arms? So, anyway, as it turned out, we had a fight.
Y'know what I mean? I wanted him to know right away that I'm not that
kind of a girl...
Yeah. So I bawled him out for about twenty minutes. And you know what
that louse did? He threw me right out of bed..."
". . . Well, anyway, Mabel, 1 don't care, because 1 have a date
tonight with that banker I met last month. Yeah. Boy, is he loaded!...
Sure, you know the one. Remember, I told you he had $50,000, a big
Cadillac, and his own business?.. .
Yeah, that's him. Boy, that should be some date tonight! Two weeks ago
he promised me the $50,000, last week he promised the Cadillac, and
tonight he's gonna give me the business. Boy, I can hardly wait..."
". . . So I also wanted to tell you about that guy I met at the dance
last week. Yeah, the dance at the 'Y' on the Grand Concourse. Well,
this here guy was a regular Continental. Spoke with an accent and
everything. He had dark black greasy hair, and dark black greasy
eyebrows, and dark black greasy teeth. A regulah doll he was. Yeah, he
was Latin so I was lettin'. . .
Whaddaya mean, how did 1 know he was a Latin lover? I could tell. All
he wanted to do was make love below the border . .
". . . So anyways, Mabel, like I was remarking, he called me his
Cherie. Little did he know. ..
Oh, that's French for 'dear'? I thought it meant something else. Oo,
am 1 embarrassed! ...
Yeah. So we went to this little place where the lights were low, and I
held his hand. But even that didn't stop him..."
" Well, Mabel, this guy just wouldn't give up. He may have looked
Latin, but he sure had Roman hands. Yeah, they roamed all over the
place...
Whassat? Of course I told him 1 was a good girl. And you know what he
said? He said, 'If you're that good, I'd like to try you myself.'...
Well, 1 tell you I was absolutely mortified. That's what I was,
mortified. And then and then he really put on the straw that broke my
back like a camel. Lemme tell you what he did. I was so unhappy about
it, 1 wouldn't tell nobody but you. Only 'cause you're my best
girlfriend. Well, arlyways, he took me aside and he offered me two
dollars if I'd go to bed with him. Yeah, and it's an experience I
don't wanna remember ...
Whaddaya mean, what's wrong with that? I'll tell you what's wrong: On
the way home 1 lost the two dollars..."
"But it really was an interesting evening, Mabel. And, oh yeah! I was
meaning to tell you something else. This here guy was tattooed all
over. And with moon pitchuh stars...
Uh-huh. All over him. On his right shoulder he had Randolph Scott, and
on his left shoulder was James Stewart. And on his chest he had Tony
Curtis...
Yeah. Then he took me to his apartment and he showed me Jimmy
Durante . . ."
"...Whassat, Mabel, you gotta go back to work? Well, awright, then. I
didn't have very much more to tell you about...
Yeah, I'm just gonna have to stop going out with him. He's a nice guy
but he's got a real bad habit. Every time he takes me out, he pinches
my cheek. Yeah ...
Whaddaya mean, what's wrong with him pinching my cheek? I'll tell you
what's wrong with him pinching my cheek. Every time he does it I can't
sit down for two days ...
Yeah ...
Well, I'm gonna have to hang you up now, Mabel. So long, Mabel ...
Yeah; 'bye . .
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
welcome to hell
http://www.thepostm
confusion
http://www.thepostm
on top
http://www.thepostm
back door
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Laying and egg
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Lenny
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Keep off Grass
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man's Pearls of Wisdom
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Natu re's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words tha t are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too smal l.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the w hole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, ' Don 't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
Campman
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because of Hurricane Isabel last week, our store was jam-packed with customers. One of our many Front-End managers in charge, Joann, decided to ask everybody if they needed any change so she wouldn't have to keep running back and forth to the desk. As she passed by my station she asked, "You need any change?" I didn't, so I said "No thanks, Joann; I'm full." Without missing a beat, she says, "Of what?".
============
After watching a rather hot love scene on cable, the husband looked over at his wife and said, "How come you never make love to me like that?"
"Are you kidding me?? Do you have any idea how much they pay those people to do that??"
============
We were taking six children on a camping trip. I drove the lead car with our gear, and my husband followed in the station wagon. At a tollbooth, I realized that we hadn't divided the cash supply, and my husband didn't have any money. I paid a double toll, explaining to the woman attendant, "I'm paying for the car behind me. He has all those children and no money."
Without cracking a smile, she replied, "Good! Keep him that way."
============
In a Barrie, Ont., church bulletin: "The choir will 'disrobe' for the summer months and join us in the pews. Now is a good time to tell them how much you appreciate what they add to our worship
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Lock Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John and Jill were about to go into his apartment and
before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a
minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he
unlocks his door."
John says, "Well, give me some examples."
Jill proceeds to tell him, "Well, the first way is, if
a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door
hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that
isn't for me.
"The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't
seem to find the hole, then that means he is
inexperienced and that isn't for me either."
Then Jill said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"
John proceeds to say, "Well, first before I do anything else,
I lick the lock."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Tool Chips
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A Useful 8 Inch Tool
This useful tool is commonly found in the range of 8 inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.
In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.
Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some of from its long glistening shaft.
After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less. Ah yes, such are the characteristics of one's toothbrush!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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What you get
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vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer. *Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and vegetables.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police Chips
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You seem to have a good imagination.
Try this: Pretend there are two dice on your computer keyboard.
Got the picture?
Good.
Now, pick up one of them and imagine you see the spots.
What number is it?
Did the number remind you of your first sexual experience?
No, probably not.
Now put down that die and pick up the other one and look at the spots.
How many do you see?
What's the number?
Did THAT make you think of your first sexual experience?
I suppose it didn't.
Now pick up both the dice and shake them in your hand.
Are you shaking them?
Good.
I bet THAT reminds you of your first sexual experience!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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This offer is only available until January 2009 and then will be retired FOREVER.
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Thanksgivin'
http://www.loratrue
Is That Jesus
http://community-
Noah Via Dianne
http://home.
DOING ALL THE WORD [All of the Time] http://www.shangral
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Surfin Surfari
Temptations Vs Four Tops Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.
Drinking Warm Water
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Houseplant Guide
http://www.plantoas
Save a Tree
http://www.yellowpa
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Copy All Of Your Drivers
http://www.driverma
Find Current Program keys
www.magicjellybean.
Simply Sally
http://simplysally.
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Animal World
Doggie Zone Via Lesley
http://maniacworld.
Kitty Korner
http://www.thecatsh
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Movies
Leno Photo Booth
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Texas Shootout
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The Interview
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The Big Man Where Are You
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The Dildo Song
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Golf Parrot
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That Should Get Your Heart Starting
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The Bumbling Thief
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The Big Kite
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
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In her youth, exhibitionist Annie
Was fequently spanked by her nannie.
That is why, to this day,
Some psychiatrists say
She is fond of exposing her fanny.
____________
Then here was this harlot of Crete
She decided to be very neat.
She said, "I'm too high class
To ream common ass,
And I'll wash every prick that I eat."
____________
The wife of an athlete named Chuck
Found her married life shit out of luck.
Her husband played hockey
Without wearing a jockey
Now he hasn't got what it takes to fuck!
<snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
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looking for a hump
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Dump The Bitch!
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Lover Lane
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Sheep Pal!!!
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One detective says to the other, " The victim has traces of semen in
both ears, so she must have heard her killer coming." (Robert Ford)
Mary: "Did you ever try that 'spouse-swapping' thing?" Jill: "Well, my
ex and I talked it over with our friends Anne and Bill, but nothing
ever happened." Mary: "Why not?" Jill: "Anne wanted to be with me!"
Did you hear about the Roman with the hair between his teeth? He was
Gladiator.
Just think --- If the Indians had given our Forefather's a donkey
instead of a turkey we could all be having a piece of ass for
Thanksgiving. Now THAT would be something To be thankful for.
Constipated people don't give a shit.
"A Canadian woman cut off two inches from her boyfriend's penis
because he was cheating on her. That's an inch and a half American.
He's not seeing anyone now. He's still unattached." (Jay Leno)
How do you make a bull sweat?
Give him a tight Jersey.
What do Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
Toys for Twats.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Dear Friend
Your application to join our online dating agency has been officially rejected.
One of the questions we asked on the application was:
'What do you like most in a woman?'
'My dick' is not an appropriate answer!
Thank you for your interest
Peggy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three convicts were on their way to prison; a mobster, a drunk, and a
Texas Aggie. Each was allowed to take one item to help pass the time
while incarcerated. On the bus, the drunk guy turned to the mobster
and said, "So, what did you bring?" The mobster pulled out a box of
paints and explained that he intended to paint anything he could. He
wanted to become the da Vinci of the prison system. Then he asked the
drunk, "What did you bring?" He then pulled out a deck of cards,
grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin,
and any number of games." The Aggie was sitting quietly aside,
grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you
so smug? What did you bring?" Pulling out a box of tampons, he said
with a smile, "I brought these." Puzzled, the other two convicts
asked, "What can you do with THOSE?" Pointing to the box, he replied
with a grin, "Well, according to the box, I can go horseback-riding,
swimming, roller-skating.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Download a free printable booklet with recipe ideas for a
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1472
Discussion About the Future of Movies
BJ: So what did you guys think about the 3D movie?
Rudy: It was too real. The scary parts were too scary.
Katie: I like the birds, but I could not catch them. So that
part was frustrating.
Sandi: The chairs were not comfortable.
Rudy: Maybe if they made a 3D movie about chasing rabbits.
Katie: Or one about running through the woods.
Sandi: I could see a 3D movie about a mattress factory.
Rudy: Maybe a 3D movie about hunting in the woods, that would
be nice.
Katie: Yeah Rudy, you got the right idea, or swimming in the lake.
Sandi: Or eating pizza.
BJ: They do make even a more realistic style of movie, it is a hologram.
The viewing area is small, but it is very real, the film has depth whereas
our current movies do not have depth. It would be like having another
person in this room with us who is not really here.
Rudy: Huh?
BJ: That would be the ultimate movie. A person could actually be a part
of the movie, play a role.
Katie: I could be Toto in the Wizard of Oz.
Rudy: I could be the Lion.
Sandi: I could be asleep.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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