Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I first posted this on the Scuttlebutt which only has 600 members so
now I will give Bob the benefit of a larger audience.
Buffalo, how many folks do we have in this group? I'm sure there are more than 4000 something. Why do you suppose they aren't supporting this cause? I'm ashamed of our group.
Bob
P.S. You can post this admonishment if you'd like.
William Brabant wrote:
Subject: please help Louisville's "Center for Women and Families"
Folks, I received this email from my friend Marilyn in Louisville who is
looking for help.
Please take just a moment and 'lend a 'click'-:-))
"Dear Friends and Family,
As many of you know, I work at The Center for Women
and Families here in Louisville. We work around the clock to
provide shelter and non-residential services to survivors
of domestic violence and sexual assault. Our need for
funding is always great. The Center, through the Kentucky
Domestic Violence Association (KDVA), is in the running
for a $15,000 donation from Allstate, and I thought you
might be interested in helping us. All it takes is your
going to the website above and placing a vote. Click on
'Louisville' and under Charity click on KDVA. As you will see
when you vote, we are way behind in the votes. The voting
will continue through December 10th. Thanks for helping us
in this way and for forwarding this on to anyone you know
who would like to support us.
Marilyn"
http://www.allstate
I came home yesterday from the secret mission I was on, which
was watching Brother Don install my mom's new dishwasher
that I picked out on Tuesday, ( Mom was surprised ) and found
Eva had been using my computer again. She had used the
horizontal alignment buttons to move the picture half way to the
right on the monitor. I played with it for a minute and got the screen
centered again but didn't notice she had also played with the width
of the picture and when I started working on email later the inbox
read only 900 pieces of email so I ran around looking in deleted
and the various folders for the other 1000 pieces of email that should
have been there. There was only 500 pieces of mail in deleted
as I had emptied it that morning and I figured the email was gone
forever until I noticed that a little seemed to be chopped off on the right
side of the screen too. I shrunk it to a narrower width and the 900
changed to 1900.
It amazes me how much she has picked up at two and a half. She learned
how to use the scroll wheel first and then bring up menus and now to
actually click on various items. At this rate she will be more computer
literate at 4 than I was at 44. It is for that reason I can't just chase her away
from the computer like her mom does.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Drunk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob and Ben.
Two buddies, Bob and Ben, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Ben throws up all over himself. 'Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!' Bob says, 'Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.'
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually Ben stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. 'You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!'
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Ben says, 'Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jewthink. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!'
His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, 'But this is forty bucks..'
'Oh, yeah.. I almos' fergot, he pooped in my pants, too.'
Charlie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
No mothers day
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast! I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Heck, I ain't worried. It won't affect us ducks."
~~~~~~
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination,
~~~~~~
A woman goes to see her Podiatrist. She says, "Doc, I just got back from a few weeks in the Bahamas and the weather was so great I spent most of the days just lying on the sand. But the strangest thing happened. Whenever a good looking guy came by, I would get this strange tingling sensation between my toes."
The podiatrist thought this was kind of unusual and examined her. He asked her if she had this sensation between all of her toes.
She replied, "Actually no, just between my 2 big toes!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Kama Sutra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On their 50th wedding anniversary an old couple decide to spice up their sex life with a Kama Sutra handbook they picked up at a local News Agency.
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One in particular showed a couple seated opposite one another, naked and with their legs spread apart.
The man was to try to roll marbles between the woman's legs and she was to try to throw plastic hoop-la-hoops around his private.
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They giggled.
The old man said "Ok.. I'll go get the bowling ball."
The old woman said "Ok.. I'll take off my wedding ring."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~ If you are caught in a major earthquake in Southern California and are part of the entertainment industry, take a moment or two to reflect on how grossly you've wasted your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnnie sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Johnnie finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly about what he saw: "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane layed down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnnie, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnnie to tell his story, so Johnnie starts his story, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and...
"...then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oliver Wendell Holmes once attended a meeting in which he was the shortest man present. "Dr. Holmes," quipped a friend, "I should think you'd feel rather small among us big fellows." "I do," retorted Holmes. "I feel like a dime among a lot of pennies."
------------
A man is walking around the streets of New York one day
when he spies an old friend of his from college. "Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been? What are you doing?" "Well," Boris replies. "I am the piccolo player for the International Orchestra." "Spectacular!
------------
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
------------
A minister in Florida lamented that it was difficult to get his message across to his congregation: "It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said, "that heaven doesn't interest them." Then he added, "And it's so hot here in the summer that hell doesn't scare them!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
God Is Good
http://www.wtv-
Carol w/I've Been Around
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NEVER Give Up!
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Surfin Surfari
GE Cookbook
http://genet.
Find out the time anywhere, anytime.
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Ol' Buffalo Outdoor Cooking Page
http://www.three-
Historic Naval Ships Visitors Guide - USS Nautilus http://hnsa.
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Midis
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Kellys XP Korner
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PDF Viewer
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
063
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Blind Man Levis
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Bob & Tom Around The World Series
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Boob Job
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Borrowing The Old Mans Car
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Shatabdi
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Shell 19-11-07
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Shooting Star
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Sick Boss
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Sleepy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sailor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the day of the Royal wedding, Sophie was getting dressed, surrounded by her family, when she suddenly realized she had forgotten to purchase shoes for the day. She panicked.
Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes from her wedding so she lent them to Sophie for the day. Unfortunately, they were a bit too small and by the time the festivities were over, Sophie's feet were in agony.
When she and Edward withdrew to their room the only thing she could think of was getting her shoes off.
The rest of the Royal Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and they roughly heard what they expected, grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream.
Eventually they heard Edward say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they heard Edward say. "Right. Now for the other one," followed by more grunting and straining, and at last Edward said "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Discipline
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My dental hygienist, Faye Ray,
Said, "Travis, eat pussy each day;
Your gums will be stronger,
Your teeth will last longer,
Coz pussy prevents tooth decay!"
Hey look; it's the orifice girls
Wearing naught but a grin and some pearls.
They go about whorin'
So don't put your oar in,
You don't know what's under their curls
A young exhibitionist Kay,
Having tossing all her panties away,
Has invited us lads
(Via newspaper ads)
To a pubic performance today.
Science was a breath of fresh air
Within my whole High School career
The only school class
Where you could smell gas
That wasn't from your classmate's rear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow something?"
"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.
"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.
"Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed."
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three salesmen got snowed in at a farmer's house. They had to spend the night, and one salesman had to sleep in the attic, as there weren't enough bedrooms. The farmer, being a trusting soul as most farmers are, allowed his two daughters to sleep with the two salesman, each in their own bedrooms. Before retiring, the three salesmen discussed whether they were going to score that night with the two daughters. They devised a code of signals so that each could let the other two know if they were successful. The first said he would make the sound of a train horn and yell, "Freight train through bedroom one!" The second said he would yell out, "Mail train through bedroom two!"
Sometime after retiring, sure enough, the yell "Freight train through bedroom one!" was heard. A short time later, "Mail train through bedroom two!" was heard. Not wanting to be outdone, the salesman in the attic blurted out, "Handcar through the attic!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
From BJ in Guthrie
A scam alert
Here is what I dealt with in sequence yesterday. This is an email from Diana's aunt.
Message one
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:28:45 -0800 (PST)
From: "Nita Marsh" <nitamarsh2@yahoo.
Subject: An Emergency
I hope this message finds you in best of health. I
had traveled to Nigeria for an international conference,
but Unfortunately for me all my money was stolen at
the hotel where i lodged, I am so confused right
now, I dont know what to do or where to go,I didn't bring
my phone here, I have access to only emails, Please
can you send me $2000 today so i can return home, As
soon as I get home i would refund it
immediately.
me so i can let you know how to send it. Please keep
this to your self only please!!. Thanks
Nita
Nita Marsh
Edif. Jacaranda 206
Avda. Litoral 7
29680 Estepona, Málaga
SPAIN
Nita Marsh
Edif. Jacaranda 206
Avda. Litoral 7
29680 Estepona, Málaga
SPAIN
I thought this was fake so I sent an email only
she could respond to
my response
--- BJ Cassady <BJ.Cassady@af-
Nita is this really you?
I know that Nigeria is the most corrupt country
in the world and I am not certain this is you.
So could you tell me where we met last November?
BJ Cassady
Email two from her
Thanks for the response, i understand you being
skeptic about it. Last November we met at Tonkawa.
I hope this satisfies your curiosity.
You can have the money sent to me via western union to
the following info
NAME........
ADDRESS.....
Please try and do this as soon as possible because i
need to be out of here soonest. You are my last hope,
would be waiting to get a mail from you with the
details for me to have the money picked up.
Well this was correct. Still was she kidnaped, coerced?
Tonkawa is a very small town and nobody would know that
information right? So I phoned some family members last
night and....this was a hoax! Everybody got this email
and they phoned her in Madrid, Spain and she is fine.
Someone stole her email account and apparently knew
a lot about her, but to answer this question is amazing to
say the least.
So I sent this last message.
Okay the money is waiting for you but it is at the American Embassy.
All you will need to do is show your passport to get it and also you will need to
give the password I told you last year. You repeated it back to me several
times so this should not be a problem. I sent extra money to cover the expenses
of you getting to the embassy. Also, as you remember I was in Vietnam and
served our country doing some "work" for the government on special assignments
when I was done with the military. One man who's life I saved, his son is working
as a security agent in Nigeria. I contacted him. He and two others are in the
process of tracing your email down and will escort you to the embassy. They
mentioned there is a possibility you could be held captive. So they are armed
and have a Nigerian Officer with them. They should be at your place in a few hours,
they will escort you to the embassy to get your money, escort you to the plane of
your choice. If you are being held under duress, they will take care of that situation.
I wonder if they are pulling their computers out of their room?
BJ laughing in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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