Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It sure is quiet around here this weekend. I am debating venturing
out in a little bit and doing some shopping. As much as I hate
crowds tomorrow is Sandy's birthday and our 29th anniversary
and that requires a gift or life might become unbearable around
here. She never seems to buy me an anniversary gift though
and I think I deserve something for marrying her. She seems to
think that not strangling me in my sleep for being a buffalo is
reward enough.
I really miss being in California and the good old shoot outs at the
Toys "R" Us on Black Friday. All we ever get around here is a few
fender benders and a fight over the last laptop at Wal-mart. We are
getting a new Super Wal-mart in spring that is so big that you will
need a Garmin to find stuff ..... turn right at female hygiene and go
one quarter mile to find pet food. The Canadian Soo has their own
Super Wal-mart but I never can understand why our parking is full of
Canadian Plates. It is easy to spot the Canadians in the store, most
of them are speaking Italian and have at least 6 gallons of milk
in their cart.
Eva is sitting next to me with both hands in a bowl of cereal. She
likes a milk bath for breakfast, it's good for her complexion and
since Grandma gives her a full bowl when she can't handle a half
of one Grandma can clean her up.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marriage Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
-- Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-- Milton Berle
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- George Burns
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.
-- Cindy Garner
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was
water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said,
"In the lake."
-- Henny Youngman
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-- Henny Youngman
People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured
at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success.
Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman.
Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
-- Erma Bombeck
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I
was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes,
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have
two girlfriends.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to
report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are beautiful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Welcome Back
http://able2laugh.
Free Shave
http://able2laugh.
Brain cells
http://able2laugh.
Pervert!
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Sucking His Finger
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Trained
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy the desert is hot and dry today. As I was driving along I passed this good looking old gal walking alone side the road. I stopped and ask did she have problems. She said, "Yes, my old car broke down back up the road a ways. I said, " If I can get it fixed or take you some where to get it fixed want's in it for me." She said, Dust I've been walking over an hour."
~~~~~
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's
the matter--haven'
~~~~~
A bride who got a little too drunk at her wedding reception was still determined to say a few words of thanks to the guests for all their presents. She stumbled through a short speech and then slowly turned to point to the presents on display, which included a coffee percolator
"And finally" she said "I do thank my new parents-in-law for giving me such a beautiful perky copulator"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gold Rush Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shopping List From 1849's California Gold Rush
The following are minimum amounts necessary for an eight day trip in the
mountains:
8 lbs potatoes
1 bottle whiskey
1 bottle pepper sauce
1 bottle whiskey
1 box tea
9 lbs onions
2 bottles whiskey
1 ham
11 lbs crackers
1 bottle whiskey
3 dozen sardines
2 bottles brandy, (4th proof)
6 lbs sugar
1 bottle brandy, (4th proof)
7 lbs cheese
2 bottles brandy, (4th proof)
1 bottle pepper
5 gallons whiskey
4 bottles whiskey (old Bourbon)
1 small keg whiskey
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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serenaded by a medley of Christmas carols. Don't wait another moment to bring
home the Wonderful World of Disney - strong demand is expected! HURRY, click
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why are guys so good at video games?
A. It's the eye-hand coordination developed after all those years of jerking off to Playboy centerfolds.
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything <thanks
Jim>
Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!
Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinocchio look like a cat!
Why are blondes lousy at mustering cattle?
Because they can't keep their calves together. <Thanx Greg>
Heaven is when you have barrels of beer and tons of girls.
Hell is when you find out that the barrels have holes and
the girls don't!
Did you hear what the dyslexic Highway Patrolman did on New Year's? He spent the whole night handing out I.U.D.'s <Thanx Robert>
Woman serving dinner to husband:
"It's a hamburger surprise. You had it yesterday and the day before, and you certainly didn't expect to get it again tonight."
Q. Why do women get their belly buttons pierced?
A. Where else would they hang the air freshener.
One day, near Christmas, Amy was walking down the
street, singing to herself, "All I want for Christmas is a 10" dick, a 10" dick, a 10" dick". Buffalo, who was out shopping, upon hearing her song, turns and follows her, singing "Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus"
Amy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apple Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother and daughter loved to play around. They partied everyday and
always ended up fucking everybody around. Their holes were played
until
they became seasoned and loose. One day, the daughter met the man
of her dreams and decided to get married. Now, the man did not know
about their flicks and thought the daughter was still a virgin. So he
decided to leave any lovemaking until their wedding night. The
daughter
began to worry about the condition of her hole and consulted her
mother,
Mom, I'm worried, what will Peter do if he finds out about my hole?!!
Mother said, Don't worry dear, I will teach you a way to fool your
husband-to-be. Here's what you do, place an apple in your hole and it
will be tight and he won't even notice it. So the daughter did what
her
mother taught her and everything went well and the stupid husband
didn't
even notice. This went on for a few months. Now, everytime the
daughter
wanted to bathe, she would take out the apple and place it on the wash
basin and after bathing, she would put it back in her hole. One day,
after bathing, she forgot to put it back and left it on the wash
basin.
The husband came into the washroom and saw the apple and thought that
her wife left the apple for him and he ate it, Honey, thanks for the
apple. It tasted great! Shocked, the daughter dare not tell her
husband
about it and went to consult her mother, Mom, I'm in deep shit now! I
took out the apple while I was bathing and I forgot to put it back and
Peter found the apple I left on the wash basin and ate it! What
should I
do? Will he be poisoned? I'm scared, Mother said, Don't worry dear, a
few years ago, your father ate the WATERMELON I left in the washroom
and
he lived!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An attractive lady is waiting in the emergency room. A doctor walks in
to her room and asks her "What is the problem ma'am?" The lady
replies," Doctor, I have been having trouble with my asshole, it hurts
really bad." The doctor tells the woman, "Why don't you lay on your
stomach so I can take a look at it, OK?" So, the woman turns over and
the doctor begins to examine her rear end. After a while, the doctor
asks the young lady, "Ma'am, have you had anal sex lately?" The lady
replies, "No, why?" The doctor then says, "Would you like to?"
Young Schmitty was taking confession, when he told the priest that he
was having impure thoughts about his sister. "Is this a sin, Father?"
he asked. The priest nodded and said, "Yes Schmitty, indeed it is a
sin.... Look at the two beautiful brothers you have."
What is French asthma?
You can only catch your breath in snatches!
What did the Indian say when the prostitute tied a knot in his pecker?
"How come!"
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
The pickpocket snatches your watch.
Stan kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
THE SPLENDOR OF THE CROSS http://www.wtv-
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Carolyn with/ Rusty Chevrolet
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Childhood Christmas
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Cow Abductions
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Christmas Resource Center
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Snowman Construction Kit
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Christmas Trees & More
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Fireplaces
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Free Interfaces
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Cut Copy and Paste Tutorial for Computers http://www.virtualg
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Bank Commercial
http://www.buffalos
Banned Cola Cola Commercial
http://www.buffalos
Beer Diet
http://www.buffalos
Commercial Of The Year
http://www.buffalos
Farmers 3 Daughters
http://www.buffalos
Why I Didn't Make The Olymics
http://www.buffalos
Why I Don't Fish
http://www.buffalos
Why I Was Never Late For School
http://www.buffalos
Why Women Live Longer Than Men
http://www.buffalos
Willie You Don't Think I'm Funny Anymore
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A pair of stage-door Johnnies are ogling the cuties who are leaving
the
dressing room. "Do you see that redhead over there? I feel like
screwing
her again."
"Wow," said his buddy, "Do you mean to tell me you've been doing it
with
that great looking broad?"
"No, I felt like it before, and I feel like it now."
~~~~~~~
A man on a business trip went to a singles bar, approached two ladies,
and offered either of them two hundred dollars to spend the night with
him. One girl stormed out in a rage, but the other remained cool,
calm... and collected.
~~~~~~~
Little Johnny comes running into the backyard. He screams, "Pop! Pop!
Ma
just got hit by a bus!"
His father answers, "Son, that's just plain mean shouting it out like
that, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you like RC Toys we have them
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Ed Hardy Viper RC Boat:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perfect Attitude
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Beer Run
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Outta Town
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Funny
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
A Baby
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Ouch
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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* 2 bonus twelve cup containers
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady named Hilda
Who went on a date with a Builder
She knew that he could
And he should and he would
And he did, and it bloody nigh killed her!
~~~
There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier...
And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!
I Just Met A Girl From Peru,
Who Likes Off Beat Places To Screw.
We've Done It On Trains,
In Hammocks, On Planes,
And Next Week We'll Try A Canoe.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hear what you've been missing!
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* 3 soft tips helps insure comfortable fit
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have
resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our next President,
and That our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.
To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients would
have To see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we
cannot Increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our
economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This
has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are
family here and I didn't Know how to choose who will have to go.
So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8
Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these
Folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more
fair way To approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I
gave it to them.
Jerry Moore
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
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vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer. *Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beautiful young woman is getting dressed for work one morning
in her high-rise apartment building. She glances out her
fiftieth-story bedroom window and sees a window washer outside.
Thinking she will rattle him, she slowly takes off her dress.
The window washer just goes about the business of cleaning the
windows. Next, she removes her slip in a very provocative
manner. Still, the man just keeps working away. Taking her
striptease to the full extent, she takes off her bra and
panties and begins parading around her room. The window washer
still takes no notice of her.
Finally, the woman walks over to the window and just stands
there, totally naked, staring at the man outside her window.
At last the window washer puts down his pail and says, "What's
the matter, lady, haven't you ever seen a window washer before?"
Wilbur
~~~~~~~~~~~~
President Barack Obama is being honored on brilliant, uncirculated U.S. Mint Presidential Dollars by The New England Mint. These limited edition coins are now available to the American public for the first time ever through this special offer. Order today and as a special bonus you’ll receive the President Obama 2008 Kennedy Half Dollar Layered in 24K gold FREE!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1479
Thanksgiving
BJ is looking in on Sandi who is alone but talking to herself.
Sandi: Dear Lord, I want to thank You for my family. Thank you
for Rudy, for Katherine, for Pearl, for Cleo, for Mark, for
Mommy and mostly for my Daddy. I thank You for the day
I was found by the lake and put into the loving arms of
Daddy and this family. I thank You for Your Divine intervention
in my life. I know I am blessed to have food, to have shelter,
to have health, but mostly to have Love. I ask that You protect
the ones that cannot be protected. The ones who are serving
this country in uniform and the families they leave behind.
Bless them one and all. Bless the leaders with Divine Wisdom
and courage to do the right thing not the popular thing.
Bless this country, my home. Bless my family. Give them a
long healthy life. I ask this humbly as Your servant. Amen
BJ nods and walks away...there is nothing else to be added or said.
Have a great Holiday Weekend and be safe from our household to yours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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