Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Let me start off apologizing with a few oops. Last week I sent
out a group of movies I had deleted the files to when we moved
buffalosjokes. Sorry about that. Last night I sent an adult joke out
to the clean group. Sorry about that also. We hope to have new
movies up by Thanksgiving, with new site building software being
the hold up. Hopefully Santa will come early this year.
Buffy and I voted together this year, we had to, I wanted to make
sure she didn't copy off a Democrat's ballot and negate my vote.
We drove by the polling place the first time which was in a
Presbyterian church and the line was out into the parking lot so
I paid the electric bill and cable bill and ran a few errands and
the
line had shortened to the top of the stairs going down to the
basement,
about a 35 minute wait. We voted using the optical scanner type
ballots which is pretty simple compared to the old machines
that had a row of little levers and a big lever that closed the
curtain
and registered your vote. The only problem we had at any of the
polling
places was with stickers that a write-in candidate wanted voters to
use
on the ballots. The extra thickness jammed the machines and his
write-in attempt was shot down.
After we finished voting we got our I voted stickers which were good
for a free cup of coffee from Tony over at the Cup of the Day if you
voted Republican. He called it is share the wealth plan as he said
he
would charge the Democrats twice as much on Election Day. I opted
out
of the free cup of coffee so I missed out on watching an example of
Democracy in action.
I was watching the economic press conference today and the stock
ticker
in the bottom right corner of the screen was running as
President-elect
Obama was speaking. As he spoke the Dow went from up almost 200
for the day to about up 80 points. I hope that wasn't Wall Street's
opinion
on Obama' s economic plans. The Dow did recover after closing so it
probably was only a fluke.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Nancy or the buffalo need Computer parts we buy from
Tiger Direct. When you want a good price, fast delivery, and product
support they can't be beat. Check out their five pages of bargains
from power supplies to whole computers and 52"
flat screens or navigate to their large online catalog.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE USGA WOULD LIKE TO INFORM ALL GOLFERS -
New Redistribution Rules Under 0bama
There is a possibility of MAJOR rule changes to the game of golf,
this may occur sometime after November 4.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being written
now.
Here are a couple of basic changes.
Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increase by 35%
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees
- above 18 will play for free and even get a check from the
club/course played
The $ amount put in for bets will be as follows:
-for handicaps below 10 an additional $10
-between 11 and 18 no additional amount
-above 18 you will receive the total amount in the pot and you do
not even have to play.
The term "gimme putt" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be
used as follows:
-handicaps below 10, no entitlements
-handicaps above 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
-handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to ever putt, just pick it
up
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness in scoring
so that the final scores of all players will be about the same.
In addition, a Player will be limited to a max of one birdie and/or
six pars, any excess must be given to those fellow players who have
not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received
a birdie or par from the player making the birdie or par, can that
Player begin to count his score again.
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes
but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those
players with handicaps 18 and above.
This is intended to "redistribute" the success of winning by making
sure that in every competition the above 18 handicap players will
post only "net score" against every other player's gross score.
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must
be about Fairness Only, it should have nothing to do with Ability.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
late one night...
http://www.thepostm
just say no
http://www.thepostm
good sleepin weather
http://www.thepostm
Tax Audit
http://www.buffalos
Freestyle Waterskiing Champion
http://www.buffalos
A Matter Of Taste
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donation Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to
Earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached
the first man he saw. "If you believe in me enough to give me
$50," he said, "I will grant you eternal life."
"Sorry, I'm an atheist," the fellow replied, "and have never
believed in God."
God walked up to another man and made the same offer.
"Well, I'm an agnostic and not really sure if I believe in you or
not," the guy said, "but here's 50 bucks, just in case."
As the Lord turned away, a third man ran up to him. "I'm Pat
Robertson and don't really care if you're God or not," he said
excitedly. "Just teach me the trick you did with the agnostic and
I'll give you $100."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's a great and SIMPLE way to save HUNDREDS of dollars on your
Auto Insurance today!
Just a 3 click process to get your Instant Savings Quote and compare
against your current Auto Insurance policy.
Compare multiple quotes and save hundreds. All you have to do to get
started is to visit us at:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Male illness Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I. Body Aches For Three Days
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor.
c. "SCREW doctors" wins the day.
d. Sleep the days away.
II. Upper Respiratory Infection
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Hacking up some pretty scary stuff.
c. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor.
d. screw doctors" wins the day.
e. Can't sleep. Watch reruns of Green Acres.
III. Ear Infections
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Left ear clogs, pressure mounts.
c. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor.
d. screw doctors" wins the day.
e. Right ear clogs, now almost completely deaf.
f. Impersonation of Helen Keller nearly dead on.
"Ruh rim rey rood. Har, har, har."
g. Can't sleep. Watch reruns of Bonanza.
IV. Break Down and See Doctor
a. "Next time, don't wait. Here, take this, this and this."
b. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
V. No Progress, Ears Ringing, See Specialist
a. "Maybe ringing will go away, maybe it won't.
Let's see which way it goes. $150 please."
b. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
VI: Ears Clear Up, Chest Gets Worse, Ears Reinfect,
Chest Gets Better
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Go back to original doctor. "Here, take this, this, this, this
this and this. Call me if you bleed out of your ass."
c. Still sick after five weeks.
d. The sound "Fuck doctors" replaces ringing in my ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanksgiving Screensavers
Hundreds Screensavers!
Totally Free!
Thousands of free photos & exclusive 3-D animations to choose from
NO registration required NO Spyware or Adware
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have seen emoticon tits, and asses. Now it is time for you to
take
a gander at the Penises...
8> A Cold dick
8===> A Hot dick
C==(( ) Cave man dick (side view)
( .|=|. ) Tit screwing
} top view of a senior citizen's hard-on
:-) -: Smilie with an erection
:-( :- Impotent (Or let down).
:-( -8 Blue balls.
;-) o===8 Braggart.
:-\ 8o After a cold shower.
;-) ===8 Circumcised.
8-O --* Just before doubling over with pain.
:-) -^-: In need of some corrective surgery.
:-) :-... Taking a leak.
:-} -oo-: Taking matters into hand.
:-o ^^: After zipping up fly too fast.
B=D Short penis
B~~D Limp penis
B==Q Prince Albert penis
-> teeny pee pee
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Teeth Whitening Kit.
This Product Retails for $600 at Dentist's Offices and is Available
for FREE! Do not be Fooled by Imitation Kits that Do Not Include the
Laser Light.
We Guarantee your Smile will be 8 Shades Whiter in Only 5 Hrs!
Pay Only Shipping and Handling!
Act Now!
Visit Here:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kinky Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this lady who was sexually frustrated and had tried to get
her husband sexually stimulated but nothing seemed to work. She
tried sexy lingerie, toys etc etc but had no luck. So one day she
asked her friend what she should do... "It's really annoying me now!
He's just not up for it. He's always out down the pub with the lads.
What can I do?"
Her friend suggested, "Well, if he's always out with the lads why
don't you give him an extra tenner so he enjoys himself even more
and then he'll come home and thank you appropriately.
So the woman tried this and this is what happened on his return:
Man: Take Your clothes off!
Woman thinks: Whoa! This is working!
Man: Stand on your head!
Woman: Ooohh...! Kinky!!!
Man: Spread your legs apart!
Woman thinks: This has really worked - give it to me!
The man then gets a small mirror and places it in between her legs.
Woman thinks: This is a new one...
Man says: You know... the lads were right, I would look good with a
beard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fill up your gas tank, not your oxygen tank!
Travel anywhere without fear of running out of oxygen with Medicare
approved Portable oxygen Concentrators from Open-Aire. They are your
all-in-one oxygen therapy solutions for your Home, Portable, and
Travel needs.
Visit Here:
http://buffaloschip
Oxygen.
Anytime.
Anywhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trivia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Ibo tribe of Nigeria had three punishments for adulterous
couples, each increasingly ghastly. The least harsh involved tying
the couple up, putting a stake through the man into the woman, and
carrying them off to a pool filled with loathsome reptiles.
Queen Anne had a transvestite cousin, Lord Cornbury, whom she
assigned to be governor of New York and New Jersey. The colonists
were not amused.
In 1964, a jury awarded $50,000 to a woman who claimed a cable car
accident in San Francisco had made her into a nymphomaniac.
One expert says that in New Guinea, women are only attracted to men
who have an ampalang.
The young males of Sambia in New Guinea must perform a ritualized
homosexual act with tribe elders until they reach adulthood. When
they get older, they have sex with women, during which they hold
their noses with clothespin like devices.
A favorite hangout for prostitutes in 17th century London was St.
John's Park. Even though the gates were locked at 10 p.m., 6,500
people had authorized keys (many unauthorized keys were also in
circulation. At the time, London had about 50,000 prostitutes.
Some Romanian villagers sing a song that accompanies a traditional
goat dance. The lyrics to the song are so sexually suggestive that
Cable News Network refuses to translate them.
According to Blitz Magazine in Bombay, India, 28 year old Nagaba
Jugalgiri pulled a car with his penis in front of Mahalakshmi Temple
in protest of India's 1989 oil crisis.
Kellogg's Corn Flakes were invented by a Dr. Kellogg in hopes that
they would reduce masturbation.
In 1746, a special hospital for the treatment of venereal diseases
known as a "lock hospital" was opened on Harrow Road in London. In
medieval times, lock hospitals only housed lepers.
According The Solitary Vice, a book for doctors that came out in the
1890s, women who masturbate tend to eat a lot of foods containing
mustard and vinegar.
Cleopatra had stones inserted in her vagina to prevent her from
getting pregnant.
One punishment for an adulterous wife in medieval France was to make
her chase a chicken through town naked.
Simone de Beauvoir had her first orgasm thanks to Nelson Algren.
As late as 1940, a candidate for the U.S. Naval Academy was rejected
if it was discovered that he masturbated.
According to a couple of recent biographies, Lord Baden-Powell,
founder of the Boy Scouts, was a repressed homosexual who was
obsessed with looking at photos of naked young boys.
An American urologist once bought Napoleon's penis for $40,000.
Women were discouraged from having orgasms during the Middle Ages
because it was thought that orgasms made women less capable of
getting pregnant
Francis I of France once said, "Anyone who doesn't have a mistress
is a nincompoop."
Catherine of Medici, the Italian wife of Henry II of France,
organized prostitution as an important arm of diplomacy, and
employed her maids of honor to achieve her ends
Modern France ended state regulated prostitution in 1946. The
movement was led by Marthe Richard, who later changed her opinion.
At the beginning of the 16th century, Rome had more registered
prostitutes proportionately, than Venice. Rome, which had 6,800 out
of total population of 90,000 versus Venice, which had 11,654 out of
300,000.
Removing pubic hair was a fashionable sexual practice among European
women in the 16th century.
Charlemagne thought prostitution should be punishable by death in
some cases.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Revolutionary new Handy Switch wireless light switch is just
$19.99 and only $7.99 shipping and handling.
Handy switch is a wireless light switch you can use to remotely
control any lamp in your home.
Each Handy Switch comes with a switch and the remote receiver.
You simply plug the receiver into an outlet, and then plug your lamp
into the receiver. That's it! When you flick the switch, it sends a
signal
to the receiver, telling it to turn the power on or off. It's that
simple.
Plus, each switch also comes with a special adhesive that lets you
stick your Handy Switch to any surface, then remove and re-use it
in
any location you choose.
Handy Switch only works with lamps or other devices that plug into
the wall. The range is approximately 60 feet, and the radio
frequency
it uses will penetrate walls.
Get one now!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I Cried
http://silverandgol
See You In My Dreams
http://www.reflecti
Judy w/ I Never Knew Your Name ~ Bonnie L Tatum
http://frommyheart2
Please Love Me
http://www.poetryby
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
regular dating site full of people that don't know what they want.
Our singles know EXACTLY what they want!
If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
membership to the best ADULT DATING SITE around! All of the members
of this dating community want to meet up with new people for one
intimate and fun encounters! You have to check it out!
Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT
want to date beautiful singles in your city for intimate encounters
then do not accept this membership that we want to give you for no
cost.
If you DO want to have a LOT of fun with singles that are awesome to
look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take
advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.
Press here to join for NO COST:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Apple Game Via Peggy
http://www.ferryhal
Best Places to Live:Compare the Best Cities&Small Towns forYou!
http://www.findyour
Television Web Sites
http://www.megaone.
Christmas Movies
http://www.auburn.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Christmas songs
http://www.mille-
Christmas Tags
http://d21c.
PC WindowsReinstall.
http://www.winstall
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.terrific
Kitty Korner
http://www.allthing
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to
win a seat and play in our upcoming World Series of Poker*.
There is no cost involved for you to play: You DO NOT need to
deposit any money or give a credit card number to play...BUT YOU CAN
WIN CASH!
Don't miss this chance!
Press here to Start Playing Today!
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Italian Cork Soakers
http://www.buffalos
Japanese Party Favor
http://www.buffalos
Jugs Judy
http://www.buffalos
Bad Ass Texas Rabbit
http://www.buffalos
Balloon Dog
http://www.buffalos
Baptizing Kid
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If your wife asks you, "Do these pants make me look
fat?" I think a good answer is, "I'm sleeping with your sister." It
will distract her from the pants, and let's face it, she was going
to
find out about you two sooner or later.
Sandra and Cindy were talking about Sandra"s Friday night at the
local pub.
Sandra was saying, "...and then the creep said, 'Why don't we play
carpenter? We'll both get hammered; then I'll nail you'!"
Cindy replied, "Oh, gross! What did you say?"
Sandra answered smugly, "I said, 'No, thanks! You didn't bring
enough
wood'."
A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As
he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both
quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart
is as soft as your breast, I know
you'll forgive me." She replies," If your penis is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 436."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
World's Smallest Radio Controlled Airplane
* No Assembly Required
* Virtually Indestructable
* Full Function Radio Controllelled Plane
* Ultra Durable
* Revolutionary Glide Technology
* Unique Propeller System
* Super Lightweight Airframe
Makes a great gift that is fun all year long.
Boasting a tight 3-ft turning radius, this remote control plane is a
high performance, precision controlled, highly maneuverable,
ready-to-fly, easy to use, indoor aerobat.
*SOLD OUT in Stores. Order Now
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gobbling
http://buffalosjoke
Cant Concentrate
http://buffalosjoke
Make Wish
http://buffalosjoke
Viagra Side Effects
http://www.buffalos
Immature Man
http://www.buffalos
Formatting The Harddrive
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ideal Bite: a Sassier Shade of Green
Free Eco-living Tips Delivered M-F to Your Inbox
Ideal Bite offers bite-size ideas for light-green living.
Easy ways to go green through small changes (they add up!)
are delivered to your inbox via a short, sassy email each weekday.
The tips are fun, free, and peppered with information and actionable
links.
Did you know at least 30,000 Ideal Bite subscribers kept the
equivalent of 111 bathtubs full of pesticides out of the waste
stream
by drinking organic, rather than nonorganic, beer?
Not a Biter? Sign up now by visiting link below
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.
A methodical fellow named Wade,
Could recall every girl that he'd laid.
He recorded each poke,
Every thrust, every stroke,
And precisely how much he'd been paid.
There once was a miss from Wake Forest
Who had a gigantic clitoris.
Most people, you see,
Thought her name was Marie,
But her intimates knew her as Horace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The devil was holding a meeting with all the little demons. He stood
up and said, "Well you poor usless lot of sissies, this guy Jesus is
putting to much good in the world, you time wasters, you make me
sick, you came to hell to make their life a missery; instead you
wasting your time playing silly games, so what are you going to do
about it?"
Well, just then a small devil quite new to the job and very timid,
sheepishley said, "O'lord of great darkness I know I'm not as
powerful as you but may I make a suggestion? It seems to me if we
could build them up and knock them down the pain would be so great
we will soon gain control."
Just as he said that a more experienced demon said, "You mean golf?"
The devil himself interupts saying, "Steady on old man, we don't
want to finish them off that quick."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up
to
30 bills on one side and up to six credit cards on the other.
Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
how much or what the abuse, you'll have a lifetime of use,
guaranteed.
It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Medical news
Bet you didn't know this:
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve
that connects the eyeball to the anus?
It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible
for giving people a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and
see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fix It is a fast scratch remover that safely removes scratches,
dings,
and nicks from your car's finish quickly and easily.
Fix It works on any car, in any color with just 3 easy steps.
Apply Fix It, buff it into the scratch or scuff, and then just wipe
away.
Each package also includes the finishing kit, with a hand-held power
buffer,
polishing pads, and a micro fiber polishing cloth.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1461
The Newspaper
Diana: Did you hear the news?
BJ: No what?
Diana: The dogs have started their own newspaper.
BJ: This I have to see.
BJ goes downstairs to the lab where the printing press is knocking
out
copies of the newspaper.
BJ: Can I see a copy?
Katie wearing a cap and an apron: Sure here you go father.
BJ: Who wrote the food section?
Rudy: Me. Do you like it?
BJ: Let me read it. How to fix breakfast. Get your breakfast
bowl, put it on the table. Get a can of Alpo and open it using
a can opener. Toss the lid. Pour contents into the bowl.
Toss can. Eat. Seems simple enough.
Rudy: Wait until tomorrow's edition on lunch and supper.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment