Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Yesterday was one of those days, if you visited our websites.
Using Nancy's name I had been negotiating with the web
servers over the issue of dropping the use of Front Page. They
turned Front Page back on for us and immediately Buffalosjokes
crashed and Buffaloschips lost everything on the page except for
the actual content like the toons or movies. A few more work orders
and we had buffalosjokes back up. Nancy has Dreamweaver thanks
to Russ from Kiwi land and also Expressions so I expect a flurry of
pages from her shortly.
Someone has got to address this problem of Somali Pirates. We
have the technology via AWACS and satellites to lay a net over
that area that would spot an inner tube on the water, we should be
able to put an end to a bunch of pirates in bass boats. Add some
F-18 support from a carrier or Marine attack choppers and blow
them out of the water no questions asked. Let these people know
it's time to find a new occupation.
Ron Gettlefinger, seems to be determined to go down in history
as the last head of the UAW. He has stated that the UAW will make
no wage or benefit concessions to obtain the 25 billion dollar
bailout being discussed with Congress. It's a daring bluff that may
lead to 3 million unemployed and all of us driving Toyotas. If your
teenager came up and asked you for 50 bucks for a date as he
was broke and when you asked him to clean the garage for the
money he told you to drop dead, would you give the money anyhow ?
Big 3 employees make 30 dollars an hour more in wages and
benefits than their counterparts at Toyota and Honda. This is at
a time when a smaller percentage of jobs are for skilled machinists
and the majority are for assemblers. Take a cut, get the money,
and live to fight another day or be as extinct as the Ford Edsel.
The choice is theirs because I cannot vote or support any member
of Congress that would accept those terms for giving away my money.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Scooby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Truth About Scooby-Doo & Co"
Everyone remembers the cartoon show Scooby-Doo from
their early childhood, right? But something you may not remember is
what the show was really about. As we've gotten older, it has become
more clear what Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma, and Scooby were
actually doing as they traversed the continent foiling crimes of all
sorts in the Mystery Machine.
WHAT WE REMEMBER: Four teenagers and their trusted dog
gallop across the country in their purple and green van
solving mysteries of all sorts -- and in the process
meet all kinds of interesting people.
THE TRUTH: Four high-school dropouts and their sentient
dog ride around the country in their psychedelic love
machine, earning their way by selling drugs. Oh, and
they occasionally take some old guys mask off to solve
a mystery.
It may be hard to swallow, but just take a look at the evidence...
Take Shaggy for example. Not only is he the inspiration
for the current 'grunge' scene, with his sloppy dress
and facial hair, but Shaggy is obviously a 'burner',
i.e., he smokes marijuana. Why do you think he is
constantly hungry? Shaggy can make a six foot hoagie
and swallow it whole.
And then there is Scooby himself. While dogs do not
generally smoke joints, Scooby gets his 'high' from Scooby-Snacks,
which are in fact Hash-Brownies. Whenever Scooby, or Shaggy for that
matter, eats a Scooby-Snack, they go ape! It just blows their mind
and they do whatever they are told, because they are so lit! Scooby
is also hungry all the time.
The other characters do not actively take part in the stoner-fest
that Shaggy and Scooby do, but they do condone the selling of it
because it helps support their jaunts across the country (and the
world -- they drove to China once). These other characters do have
their own peculiarities however...
Fred and Daphne are always splintering off from the
group to go 'solve the case' by themselves. It's no
real mystery what these two are really doing -- they're
getting busy in the back of the Mystery Machine.
Daphne, with her pretty pink legs, and Fred are
constantly bumping uglies. Fred is, by the way, pumped
up on steroids. One thing that remains a mystery
though, is why he always wore that stupid scarf around
his neck.
And what about Velma? Everyone's least favorite of the
cast, was of course, a lesbian. But, as it turned out
in the later episodes, she was also into bestiality.
Where do you think Scrappy-Doo came from? Scrappy, who
was a dog yet spoke perfect English, was obviously a
product of Velma and Scooby.
So the kids spent their teenage years driving around
the world, slangin' dope, shooting steroids, eating
hash brownies, and screwing their dog, while all the
while looking for the perfect 'hit'. Oh if we had only
known these things when we watched this cartoon as
children...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Stewardess
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Strippers
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Tree Twat
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Being horny
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Anal Lube
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First X-Movie
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52778.htm
Hate Black Men
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52779.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rooster Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A traveling salesman was passing through the country
side and stopped at a farm asking for some cool water.
The old farmers wife invited him to sit in the shade of
the porch with her and got him some cold lemonade.
They sat and talked for a while when suddenly a hen
went running by with a rooster covered in a pair of
coveralls chasing her.
The salesman asked, "What in the devil was that?"
The old farmers wife told him "Well you see, some years
ago we had a tornado come through here and hit the
hen house. It killed all our chickens except for that
rooster, but it plucked every feather off of him. Well
I kind of felt sorry for him, seeing how as he did
survive a tornado and I knitted him a pair of coveralls."
The salesman said, "Well that is just about the funniest
thing I have ever seen."
To which the farmers wife replied, "You think that's
funny, you ought to see that rooster hold a hen down
with one leg and try to get those coveralls off with
the other."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mouse Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this little grey mouse that worked in a factory pulling
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at the neighborhood bar for a beer or two before going home. He was
unmarried and well liked by the bartender, he always cashed his
paycheck on Friday night and had more than two beers.
This particular Friday night the mouse was setting at the
bar having a beer and this strikingly beautiful long necked lady
giraffe comes in and takes a seat at the end of the bar. The mouse
looks her over and she is checking out the mouse. The mouse told
the bartender to give her a drink and soon they are seated together.
The bar fills up and the bartender loses track of them. The
bartender can't wait to hear how it went with the mouse and giraffe,
but on Monday the mouse don't show, nor on Tuesday or Wednesday, but
on Thursday he comes in, his fur all roughed up, his eyes bloodshot,
and his tail just dragging the floor. He climbs up on a stool,
orders a beer and as the bartender set it down, the bartender asks
how it went, and why are you looking like you were run over by a
Mack truck?
The mouse answers, it was just wonderful. The bartender
says what caused you to look so bad, the mouse said "between the
kissing and the loving, I've run 900 miles."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Amish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding
in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter
said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put them between your legs.
Your body heat will warm them up."
The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The
next day the daughter was riding with her boy
friend who said, "My hands are freezing cold."
The girl replied, "Put them between my legs.
The warmth of my body will warm them up."
He did, and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in
the buggy with the daughter. He said,
"My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs.
The warmth of my body will warm it up."
He did, and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving
with the daughter, and he said, "My penis is
frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving
in the buggy with her mother again, and she
says to her mother, "Have you ever heard
of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes.
Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one hell of
a mess when they defrost, don't they?"
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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off and
hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says, "What
did I do wrong?"
The pro says, "Loft."
The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He asks
the pro "What did I do wrong?"
The pro says, "Loft."
The third guy tees off and hits a slice into a pond. He asks the
pro, "What did I do wrong?"
The pro says, "Loft."
As they're walking to their balls, the first guy finally speaks up.
He says to the pro, "The three of us hit completely different tee
shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong you gave the same
exact answer each time, what is 'loft?' "
The pro says, "Lack Of Fucking Talent."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man asked his friend, "How's your wife doing?"
The friend said, "Not too well. She hasn't been feeling herself
lately. But it was a damned dirty habit anyway."
~~~~
"What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement Bernice?
said her closest friend.
"Well," Bernice confirmed,
"Although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left
a lot to be desired."
~~~~~
Two mothers were talking about a third one who had just given birth
to triplets. "You know, that only happens one in twelve-thousand
times?" said the one. "Amazing! How did she ever find time to do
any housework?"
~~~~
Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain, and were
approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each
other, one pad said to the other, "Should we say hi to those 2
tampons?" The other pad responded, "Err... nah... they're stuck up
cunts."
~~~~~~~
Little Red Riding Hood was talking through the woods on her way to
visit her grandmother, when suddenly a wolf jumped out from behind a
tree.
"Ah-ha!" the wolf said, "Now I've got you. And I'm going to eat
you!"
"Eat! Eat! Eat!" Little Red Riding Hood said angrily. "Damn it!
Doesn't anybody fuck anymore?"
~~~~~
A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at
her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse
us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little
while." Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs
and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a
few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him
up to peek into the bedroom. "Before you look in there," he says,
"keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts just for
sucking our thumbs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
He Understands My Tears
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A PLACE ONCE CALLED HOME
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Surfin Surfari
Under His Wings
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The Radio
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Focus on the family
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Help from Dr. Nicolosi
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Cat Graphics
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Kelta Web Concepts Free Clipart
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Firewire
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Wizard of Draws
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Movies
Recession
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Red State Update
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91908.htm
Singing Monkey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91909.htm
Uncontrollable Sexual Urges
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91910.htm
Police Pursuit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91920.htm
Poor Braking Conditions
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91921.htm
Power Windows
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91922.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier...
And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.......
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo
and a sports car.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
following directions
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won't need it
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I discovered
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Go back to sleep
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52780.htm
Go Deeper!!!
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Hairball
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/52802.htm
Have a Wank
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young woman goes to evening class to improve her sexual
capabilities. When she gets there she sees an apple an orange and a
pear hanging on strings from the ceiling, and a piece of chalk and
a black-board. "What is all this for", she asks.
The instructor tells her to stand between the hanging fruit, and
she does. "Now ", said the instructor, "swing your hips to the left
and touch the apple, now swing your hips to the right and touch the
pear, then swing your hips forward and touch the orange". The
young woman starts to rotate her hips, and soon gets a good rhythm
going. "This is great", she said
enthusiastically , "but what is the chalk for ". "When you've got
the
hang
of the fruit", said the instructor, " I want you to stick the chalk
up your arse and write thirty-three and a third on the
black-board".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN was walking down the hallway and
bumped into President Bush. Hoping to break the ice with an
innocuous comment, the ambassador quickly said, "Respectfully, sir.
I have a question about what I've seen in America." Politely,
President Bush answered, "If I can help explain things to you,
please let me know." The Iranian whispered. "My little girl watches
this show called 'Star Trek' and in this show, there's Chekov who is
a Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Sulu who is Chinese… but there
aren't any Iranians. Why aren't there any Iranians on Star Trek?".
President Bush whispered back to the ambassador, "It's because Star
Trek takes place in the future."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache.
Below the picture is titled... "Got Milk".
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white
mustache. It is entitled.... "Forgot milk".
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white
mustache on it. It is entitled ...."Not Milk...."
Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.
Defendant: Commander Ebenezer Jackson.
Judge: What does the "Commander" stand for?
Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the "Honorable" in front of your
name, not a damn thing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1471
The 3D Effect
Diana: I think bringing the dogs to the movies was not such a great
idea.
BJ: Sandi is fine.
Diana: Sandi is asleep.
BJ: Rudy is into the movie.
Diana: Rudy has ate the hat of the person in front of him.
Katie is chasing birds around the theatre.
BJ: Well, I will calm her down.
Katie, come here.
Katie: The birds, they are in front of me but I cannot get them.
BJ: They are 3D birds, they are not real.
Katie: But I see them, they are right in front of me.
BJ: It is an optical illusion.
Katie: Does an optical illusion taste good?
BJ: It is just air.
Katie: Gosh, that is no good. How do they do that father?
BJ: Shh! I will tell you when we get home.
Rudy: Help pops, a dinosauer is attacking me. It is coming right
out of the screen. It's jaws are huge.
Diana: Maybe we should just buy the DVD and watch it at home.
BJ: Yeah, okay let's go home guys.
Diana: Wake up Sandi.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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