THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. If you are like most folks, you are probably feeling the pinch of this rising economic crisis. Making it pretty tough for Christmas isn't it? These days, I know that your xmas gift dollars are critical and that every penny counts. So what I have done is to talk to the publishers to bring postman fans the opportunity for great gifts this year, without a lot of expenditure. And the nice part of it is, that not only can you get some nifty gifts, but at the same time, you are supporting THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! As you know, I charge nothing for my daily efforts and never have. And by using these gift ideas, all proceeds will go towards keeping the POSTMAN'S CORNER free to ALL who ask for it! First, you really should take advantage of these really great personalized Christmas ornaments!! For Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Godparents or a Best Friend, this personalized Christmas ornament is made just for them!  We custom personalize the design of your choice along with up to 6 lines of personalization in script or festive font style, to create a one-of-a-kind personalized gift for someone special. The ornament is beautifully crafted from glistening ultra-polished glass featuring a delicate, beveled-cut edge. Oval ornament measures 3 3/4" x 2 3/4". Includes a shimmering gold lame ribbon for an elegant finishing touch. Choose Your Own Text! Huge Now if you like the personalized gift concept, here is another great idea and one that I, the postman and "the war department" have taken advantage of.  How about personalized greeting cards? with your family picture on them? You can also get: calendars, and you can put your pick on key chains, coffee mugs photo journals, bookmarks, sticky note pads, mouse pads and more! http://www.thepostm Now if you are really looking for a bargain, I ordered this last year... its the Samuria shark! I know a lot of you have already ordered a set, but the reason I am mentioning it now is cuz at this moment, if you buy a set, you can get one free! can't lose!  Buy 1 Get 1 FREE: 1 Samurai Shark for Only $10.00 + $7.95 S&H. Bonus Samurai Shark FREE. Just pay additional $7.95 processing. Cutting boards, counters, plates and dishes - all of these things dull your knives. But the Samurai Shark uses tungsten-carbide steel sharpening blades and a unique angle to give your knives, scissors, tools and anything with a cutting blade a razor sharp, precision edge every time you use it! And, the Samurai Shark's retractable sharpening blade allows you to easily sharpen all types of serrated edges! No other sharpener does that! Store one in your garage or workshop to sharpen tools or garden shears; keep one in your tackle box for filet knives or hunting. http://www.thepostm Be sure to support our sponsors! Help keep THE POSTMAN'S CORNER FREE to all who ask for it! Cordially Martin aka the postman! THE COMICS sorry for the delay http://www.thepostm the doctors http://www.thepostm wanna laugh? http://www.thepostm did I complain? http://www.thepostm potato heads http://www.thepostm how the pain starts http://www.thepostm I'm sorry Mrs. Halftrack http://www.thepostm you had me http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES no pockets http://www.thepostm take care of it http://www.thepostm break dancing http://www.thepostm wassup dod, 8 years later http://www.thepostm Islamic stripper http://www.thepostm oops http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF Even spider man would have trouble walking up this wall http://www.thepostm bathroom prank for mommy http://www.thepostm Venetian glass blower creating a kitten http://www.thepostm dood blows a huge fart after pumping up his ass with an air pump http://www.thepostm Years ago, there was an old tale in the Submarine Service about a lieutenant who inspected his sailors and told the COB (Chief of Boat) that they smelled bad. The Lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately." He went into the crew quarters and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy you change with Brown,and Witkowski you change with Minotti. Get to it." The moral: A candidate may promise 'change' in Washington, but don't count on things smelling any better. ____________ The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre d, "but there are no tables available." "One moment, my friend," said the man, drawing himself up. "I happen to be Gregory R. Carutheres, the sportsman." "I'd like to accommodate you, Mr. Caruthers, but there just isn't a table available this evening." "I bet if President Bush came in and asked for a table, there'd be one available." "Yes-s-s," the other admitted, "I suppose there would be a table available for President Bush. " "Good! I'll take it. George isn't coming!" ____________ This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, "Oh yuck!!" she proclaimed as she ponted it to her new husband As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and asked "What they don't use those things where you come from?" "Yeah," she said "but we don't skin 'em!" ____________ Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The women were arguing noisily even in the court. The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them, said, "We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can't listen to all of you at once. I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. ____________ The school bell rang just as little Stumpy started eating a Popsicle, and since he didn't want to waste it, he stuck it in his pants pocket. In the classroom the teacher asked little Vicky what they called people who lived at the North Pole. She said, "Eskimos." Then teacher asked little Teresa what they called people who live in Mexico. She said, "Mexicans." The teacher asked Stumpy what they called people who live in Europe, and Stumpy said, "I don't know." Then super-smart little Mary behind Frankie said, "European." Little Stumpy's face turned red and he screamed, "I AM NOT! My Popsicle is melting!" ____________ Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day. One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's soft-ball there.' Rose looked up at Barb from her death bed and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.' Shortly after that, Rose passed on. At midnight the following Friday, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.' 'Who is it?' asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?' 'Barb -- it's me, Rose.' 'You're not Rose. Rose just died.' 'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice. 'Rose! Where are you?' 'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.' 'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb. The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's Softball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again.Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.' 'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?' 'You're pitching Tuesday ____________ A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asks the clerk. And she says, "Are you kidding? He doesn't even know yet that I'm going to shoot him!" ____________ FUN PAGES from Lorrain Severe Pain in the Butt http://tinyurl. PAPA THORN Cherry dessert http://able2laff. Dog's day in court http://able2laff. ____________ BUFFALO Bill Don't Want Compatible http://www.buffalos Competitors http://www.buffalos Contractor http://www.buffalos ____________ THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM Martin aka the postman |
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