THE POSTMAN'S CORNER We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.  NEW! Innovative technology! Tweeze is the tweezer that makes tweezing easy. It removes the smallest and finest hair with pinpoint precision. What it does: * No more single hair tweezing * Tweeze in any direction * Use anywhere on the body * Great for travel Order Today And Get A 30 Day Supply Of Smooth Vanish, a Hair Inhibitor, For FREE! http://www.thepostm  FREE* SAMPLE No mess, no fuss, just apply and go! LISTERINE Quick Dissolving Strips are the discreet way to whiten teeth when you're in a rush or on the move. Unlike any other teeth whitening product, LISTERINE WHITENING strips are formulated to dissolve to white in just 5-10 minutes. Nothing to remove and no sticky residue. Wear them on the way to school, work or anywhere! http://www.thepostm Happy Veterans day/ Armistice day to all Veterans!  World War I – known at the time as "The Great War" - officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of "the war to end all wars." In November 1919, President Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country's service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…" ------------ I need to point out just a couple of things and then we will get into the jokes. First, have you heard about the OBAMA commemerative coin? America elected its first black president. You will want to commit this event to your memory as well as for your children and what better way to do it than with the official OBAMA coin? President Barack Obama is being honored on brilliant, uncirculated U.S. Mint Presidential Dollars by The New England Mint. These limited edition coins are now available to the American public for the first time ever through this special offer.Order today and as a special bonus you'll receive the President Obama 2008 Kennedy Half Dollar Layered in 24K gold FREE! This offer is only available until January 2009 and then will be retired FOREVER.  PRESIDENT OBAMA COMMEMERATIVE COIN http://www.thepostm The other thing I need to tell you...you may have noticed that that big expensive buy out package stimulus the congress passed has not done a lot to turn this economy around, right? And to make matters worse, Christmas is just around the corner. You asking your self how your gonna buy presents? Perhaps you need cash too for some other big item. Then you will be pleased to hear that THE POSTMAN'S CORNER now offers its own stimulus package! Be sure to take advantage of it  Regardless of your past credit history or income, You are going to need cash soon, right? The holidays will be here shortly. Right now you can get up to 5 grand to spend on gifts or anything else you like! http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue Cordially Martin aka the postman! THE COMICS a spoiled dog http://www.thepostm they met online http://www.thepostm just looking http://www.thepostm docotrs orders http://www.thepostm wake up people http://www.thepostm final moments http://www.thepostm pharmacy customer service http://www.thepostm Santa in trouble http://www.thepostm good news http://www.thepostm ____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES the black hole break free from the routine http://www.thepostm does this remind you of a movie? http://www.thepostm crash testing http://www.thepostm Jerry Springer http://www.thepostm first piano lesson http://www.thepostm Islam and spaghetti http://www.thepostm ____________  POWER POINT DISPLAYS enjoy animals http://www.thepostm vacation for the guys http://www.thepostm You will see the fish swimming in the lake. Click on the place in the lake you want the man to cast his line. Remember the fish are swimming and if you click on the fish by the time he casts his line the fish will have moved beyond that point. So click on a spot ahead of the fish where you think the fish will be after the line has been cast. Different lures are in the tackle box. Click on one to change your lure. http://www.thepostm Yesterday=Elvis http://www.thepostm Thanksgiving quiz http://www.thepostm Hitler and the mortgage crisis http://www.thepostm don't try this at home http://www.thepostm The Japanese really do have the best game shows EVER! http://www.thepostm While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl's hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. "What do you think?" he asked his girlfriend. "Take them off!" she howled,. "They make you look ridiculous." ____________ She felt inadequate when talking with a mechanic, so when her vehicle started making a strange noise, she sought help from a friend. A car nut, he told her how to explain the difficulty when she took it in for repair. At the shop, she proudly recited, "The timing is off, and there are premature detonations, which may damage the valves." As she smugly glanced over the mechanic's shoulder, she saw him write on his clipboard, "Lady says it makes a funny noise." ____________ An Irish fella had been out having a few pints of Guinness. Driving home that night he got pulled over by an East Indian Police officer who was wearing a Turban. The Police officer asked him to get out of the car and proceeded to write him a ticket. The Irishman pleaded with him, "Ah bejeezus, I'm almost home, don't be giving me a ticket." The officer said "I have to give you a ticket sir, you have had a few too many to drink and you were speeding." The Irishman once again asked him not to give him a ticket, explaining that his house was just around the corner, but the officer didn't seem to care and handed him the ticket. Irritated, the drunken Irish fella looked the Officer straight in the eye, and said........ your head never gets better!" ____________ An old priest who for years had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital, lay dying in the hospital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Barack Obama and Joe Biden before I die," he whispered. "I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse, and she respectfully forwarded the request to the DNC and waited for a response. Surprisingly, soon the word arrived. Obama and Biden would be delighted to visit the priest. As they made their way to the hospital, Obama commented to Biden, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but the media coverage will certainly help our images." Biden couldn't help but agree. When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Biden's hand in his right hand and Obama's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the ancient cleric's face. Finally Biden spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?" Taking a deep breath, the old priest painfully replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior." "Amen," said Obama. "Amen," said Biden. The old priest continued, "He died between two lying thieves and I would like to do the same." ____________ Two friends lived in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. They were sick of winter, so they went to a travel agent and booked a trip to Australia. When the two friends got off the plane - still dressed for Canadian winter weather - they wandered into a pub and sat down. The locals wondered about these strangers, so one of the Aussies walked over to the visitors and said, "G'day, mates. Where're you from?" "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, "Ahhhh," said the Aussie, returning to his table. "So where are they from?" the other locals asked. "Don't know, mate," replied the Aussie. "They don't speak English." ____________ One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe no nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that it's rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. "Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair she opened her mouth to answer, but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment. Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair and was reseated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk. "Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question." ____________ PAPA Thorn Cheater http://able2laff. Beep Beep http://able2laff. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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