Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I slept in till nine this morning with not much planned other than to
assemble the new snowblower and test it out before the first
blizzard hits. I could have got a little better deal on the next size
smaller snow blower from Sears if I had waited till today but I am
not going near any store for the next few days if I can help it. I
bet if I had looked as I drove past Wal-Mart last night I would have
seen at least a handful of people camped out waiting there for there
for the Black Friday festivities to begin at 0500. I know there are
bargains to be found but there is also a lot of items out there that
are manufactured only for these sales because they know people
will expect a good deal. If you are going out to buy yourself electronics
like a brand new laptop, you should ask yourself whether 300 dollars
is a bargain or too much to spend for something that won't do what
you need or will be impossible to get service on.
Something strange has been happening lately. For the third time this
fall there has been a salesman at the door from the gas supplier. I
opted in at 1.04 last year on a five year contract to supply my gas
to DTE who then delivers it to my meter and I get two separate charges
on my bill. The salesman when they find out I am already buying from
them tell me to contact the supplier and ask to have my price reduced
to 99 cents which is the going rate right now. I realize that the natural
gas business is competitive but why doesn't their salespeople know
who is already on their program and why are they trying to set me up
on a cheaper contract when they know that the price of gas will go up
over the next 5 years? I am leery when people offer to save me money
and even more leery when they already have my contract and want to
save me more money.
Thanksgiving at Nancy's was great yesterday as always and her oldest
son Jordan did a great job on the dishes he prepared. Nancy's pies
included blackberry and blueberry that were from berries picked in the
area. I ate in moderation and stayed away from the sweets mainly because
I didn't want to destroy the past six months of getting my glucose under
control in one day and also because we had a complete turkey dinner at
home to deal with. I finished up at two in the morning with a turkey sandwich
and a small slice of pumpkin pie and my glucose was only at 140 when
I got up this morning. That's higher than my usual 115 but not bad right after
a turkey feast.
Enjoy the chips and be careful out there today, the department store herds
will not be as friendly as ours.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Black Friday Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING TIPS!!!
ITS IMPORTANT TO BE PREPARED....
1) Wear tight clothes. A loose shirt, jacket or scarf can be used
to hold you back and slow you down.
2) If you are meek and timid, consider staying at home. BFer's can
smell fear.
3) Unless you are immune to pneumonia, wear clothes in layers. It
may seem like a good thing to dress really warm when you're standing
outside in sub -freezing weather, but once the doors open, you'll be
sweating profusely before you can reach the rear of the store.
4) If you want to socialize with the other people in line, don't
get too personal. Just remember that in minutes, those same people
would just as soon trip you and step on your neck than allow you to
have the very last set of Dora the Explorer bed sheets.
5) Don't share your breakfast food with others in line. It will
only give them more energy to use against you once in the store. If
you must share, make it leftover turkey. The tryptophan it contains
will cause sleepiness, making them slow to react.
6) Shop with a friend. That way one of you can run blocker just
like in Smokey and the Bandit.
7) Never pick up a sale item and look at the box to decide whether
you want it or not. Toss it in the cart! You'll have plenty of time
to read, research and decide while standing in line at the checkout.
Besides, you can always return it later. Seize the opportunity.
Timing is crucial!
8) Unless you absolutely need one, don't take a shopping cart into
the store. It will only slow you down.
9) There will be both parents and children out shopping on BF.
During your adventure, youll hear crying, weeping and whining. "I
have to have that!" "Give it back!" "I had it first!" And then
there's the children...
10) Before the big day, as you are staking out the stores and
making some advanced purchases, save the security tags. There is
always one lady on BF who brags about how she has to buy 36 of the
one item you went there for to give to all of her nieces and nephews.
Covertly place one or more of these tags on her as the crowds head
into the store. the barrage of security when she sets off the alarm
at the entrance will slow her and allow you to get to the item first
before she takes them all.
11) Carry a bat. Preferably aluminum, since it is lighter. There
are always lurkers who sit in their nice warm cars while everyone
else is freezing in line. They will try to blend into the crowd when
the doors open. The mere presence of such a device will deter them.
The bat is also handy to get stock from high shelves, and to lean on
while waiting in line at the checkout.
12) Agility can make up for a poor spot in line.
13) Bringing along your spouse and kids will only slow you down.
14) Riot gear, while heavy, bulky and a fashion no-no for most
people can be handy if you plan to patronize the likes of Circuit
City, Best Buy or Toys 'R' Us on Black Friday.
15) If you're a man, consider wearing a cup. The advantage can far
outweigh the disadvantage.
16) Seeing-eye and assistant pets still can't resist bacon.
17) Sending up a distress flare at just the right moment can allow
you to gain position in line.
18) Be sure not to wear clothes you don't want snagged or ripped.
19) Defense! Defense! Defense!
20) Above all, enjoy yourself. Its just like fishing. Its not what
you are able to catch. Its the thrill of the chase!
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Dictation
http://able2laff.
Hitchhiker
http://able2laff.
Jet fly by
http://able2laff.
a lot cheaper
http://www.thepostm
extra
http://www.thepostm
the car of the future
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was admitted to the hospital suffering from premature
ejaculation. The doctors said it was touch and go.
Q. What's the worst thing about growing unemployment?
A. It gets harder to screw your girlfriend with her husband home.
"I believe even prostitution should be
legalized...
"Hell, not only do I think prostitution should be legalized," I
jumped in, "I think it should be free, too!"
Mary: I went shopping for bras this weekend. How depressing! I
wanted one with good support.
Jill: Have you tried under wire?
Mary: Yes, Ma'am! Unfortunately, I have graduated to steel girders!
The blind date hadn't been all that great and Mary was relieved the
evening was finally over.
At her apartment door, her date suddenly said, "Hey! You wanna see my
underwear?"
Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in
the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any underwear.
She took one look and said, "Nice design. Does it also come in men's sizes?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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serenaded by a medley of Christmas carols. Don't wait another moment to bring
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Book Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Celebrity-Penned Books
By Sarah Ferguson, Ex-Duchess of York: Cash In On Your Ex's Celebrity Status Long After Being Dumped
By Elizabeth Taylor: Fat And Depressed? Write A Book About It!
By Eva Gabor: Become Rich And Famous With Little Or No
Personal Accomplishment
By Cher, Forward by Madonna: Garner Attention By Acting
And Dressing Like A Slut
By Anne Heche: Changing Your Sexual Preference For Personal Gain
By Michael Douglas: Boost Your Ego By Marrying Someone
Less Than Half Your Age
By Robert Downey Jr: How To Thwart A Body Cavity Search
Or Jail House Assault
By Sir Elton John: Get What You Want By Being A Tyrannical, Flamboyant, Chubby Little Man-Bitch
By Farrah Fawcett: How To Gross Out Your Grandchildren
By Posing Nude In Playboy
By Michael Jackson: The Joy Of Rearing Young Boys
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sands Of Christ
Feel a closeness to the Lord like never before!
If you're looking for the perfect gift, or you just want to strengthen your bond with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, look no further.
This rare item is very limited, don't miss your chance! To get yours now, click here:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tweety Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the time he was a blind date. We went out with some friends of ours who hooked us up together. We were in a bar and the place was packed. I wasn't to thrilled about him and I was pretty cocky. He spend the whole time talking about work and I was tired of it. I asked him if he wanted to see my Tweety bird tattoo. My girlfriend said "Oh yeah show him your tattoo! He'll love it." He said okay and I said it's on my butt! The whole place got quiet! I started to pull down my pants and asked if he saw it.
He said, "no."
So I pulled them down a bit more. "Do you see it?"
"No"
So I pulled them down farther. (By then I had a whole room full of an audience. They were all gathered around). He gets down off his stool and looks really close at my butt and I ask if he sees it. By this time he is getting a bit embarrassed and says again. "no."
So I say "Dammit my pussy must have ate it!"
He was so red! The whole place was laughing! We have now been married 6 years with 2 kids and to this day he still buys me Tweety birds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reagan Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some of Ronald Reagan's memorable one-liners:
- "There you go again..."
[after getting shot]
- "Honey, I forgot to duck."
- "I am paying for this microphone!"
- "I have only one thing to say to tax increasers: Go ahead...make my day."
[debate with Walter Mondale]
- "I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent's youth and inexperience.
- "Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
- "Facts are stupid things."
- "A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?"
- "I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself."
- "I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."
[Testing his microphone]
- "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zarqawi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was just announced that Abu Musab al Zarqawi was killed in Iraq by American forces.
George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you fight against the nation I helped conceive.
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Celebrate Fords 60th anniversary of its legendary Pickups, you can get an authentic, die-cast replica of the original 1948 Ford F-1 Pickup for only $10.00 and just $5.95 shipping and handling. As a bonus for ordering today, youll also receive the replica 1956 Ford F-100 absolutely free! Just pay an additional $5.95 to cover shipping and handling.
Features:
* Opening Hood, Doors and Tailgate
* Dual Headlights
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* Hardwood Stamped Cargo Bed
* Spare Tire Under Bed
*Baked Enamel Finish
* Official Ford Logos
And Much More!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Singing Man's Website
http://mywebpages.
John w/ Have Yourself A Very Merry Christmas
http://heavens-
Our Valuable Anchor
http://www.shangral
Gift Of Love Via Carol
http://www.journeyo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a regular dating site full of people that don't know what they want. Our singles know EXACTLY what they want!
If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE- membership to the best ADULT DATING SITE around! All of the members of this dating community want to meet up with new people for one intimate and fun encounters! You have to check it out!
Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT want to date beautiful singles in your city for intimate encounters then do not accept this membership that we want to give you for no cost.
If you DO want to have a LOT of fun with singles that are awesome to look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.
Press here to join for NO COST:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Obama's Farm Via Peggy
http://home.
Tool Bag In Space
http://www.nbcconne
Santa Claus and Christmas at the Northpole Via Mary
http://www.northpol
Mrs Claus Cookbook Via Mary
Cookies
http://www.northpol
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious relationship secretly download software applications that allow them to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker. This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Heathers Animal Skin Backgrounds http://www.heathers
Free Must Have PC Utilities
http://www.sofotex.
Midi Music
http://www.purplepa
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome $497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000 customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right way.
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://netvet.
Kitty Korner
http://pearyhenson.
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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
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2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch! And new channels are added every day!
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We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to win a seat and play in our upcoming World Series of Poker*.
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Chips
Jugs Judy
http://www.buffalos
Kassie
http://www.buffalos
Ketchup Effect
http://www.buffalos
Kid In The Background
http://www.buffalos
Kite Surfer
http://www.buffalos
Worst Seats
http://www.buffalos
WoW
http://www.buffalos
Wrong Ball
http://www.buffalos
Wrong Gift
http://www.buffalos
Hama Rat
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mom is very very possessive. She calls me up and says, "You weren't home last night. Is something going on?"
I say, "Yeah, Mom. I'm cheating on you with another mother."
------
In a new sex survey they found that 18 percent of people had sex four or more times a week.
Now here is the interesting part. That number drops to 3 percent when you add the phrase, "With a partner."
------
Two gay guys were caught in the act in a public park by a policeman. As the cop tried to arrest them for their act of public indecency, they bolted away. The cop pursued after them and managed to catch one of them. He told him, "When I catch your boyfriend I'm going to shove this nightstick right up his ass." Just then a voice calls out from behind a tree. "Yoo-hoo, Officer. I'm over here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you like RC Toys we have them
The Copper1 MedEvac and Fire Rescue Helicopters
are next year's hottest RC Toys. This 2009 version
came in early and has limited quantity.
http://buffaloschip
Ed Hardy Viper RC Boat:
This super fast RC boat works in your pool, pond, lake or even the ocean! Includes a powerful 7.2V battery and charger - tons of power to rip and shred your way around your pool! Cut left, Cut right, Hit the throttle and zoom away with full directional control up to 300 feet!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love Chicken
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Tongue Tricks
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Zoloft
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
"> Here!</a>
American Flag
http://www.buffalos
Penis Pump
http://www.buffalos
First Remote
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOW - The Interchangeable Mix & Match Storage System
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With WOW Containers you can:
* Mix and match sizes
* Always have room at the top
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* Stop losing lids
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* 22 two cup containers
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* 6 eight cup containers
* 2 bonus twelve cup containers
Buy 1 Set Get 1 Free!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called the umpire a shit out of malice.
While this worthy had fits
The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
No bananas she said, with a sigh,
And a tear trickled down from her eye.
No cukes, no zucchinis,
No Oscar Meyer weenies,
"I'll have to go find me a guy."
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hear what you've been missing!
The Bell + Howell Silver Sonic XL has the ability to give you sonic hearing, easily amplifying sounds up to 60 feet away. Never miss out on a conversation, game or TV show ever again! Small and lightweight, it looks like a wireless cell phone earpiece so no one will know you have sonic hearing! Silver Sonic XL's flexible ear mount easily adjusts to fit all ear shapes and sizes. Plus, the convenient volume control lets you easily control the intensity and volume of your Silver Sonic XL so you can set the level right where you want it.
Silver Sonic XL is portable, SONIC HEARING!
* Small and lightweight
* Discreet and looks like cell phone ear adapter
* Adjustable volume control
* Flexible and comfortable à fits left and right ear
* 3 soft tips helps insure comfortable fit
* Amplifies sounds up to 60 feet away!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every year at the state fair Paul entered
the lottery for the brand new truck and
lost. This year, he told his friend David,
he wasn't going to bother and enter.
"What kind of attitude is that?" David
asked. He leaned closer and whispered,
"What you need, pal, is faith. Look around
and see if the good Lord sends you a message."
Strolling around the fair, Paul grew more
and more despondent as the drawing neared.
Nothing struck him, no divine inspiration, no
sign from God.
Finally, while he was passing old Mrs. Kelleher's
pie stand, he glanced over and saw the woman
bending down. She wasn't wearing any panties,
and suddenly her ass began to glow. All of a
sudden, a finger of flame came from the skies
and without her even knowing it, used her ass
as a notepad. The fiery finger etched a seven on
each cheek.
Thanking God, Paul rushed to the raffle booth
and played the number 77. A few minutes later,
the drawing was held. And once again, Paul lost.
The winning number was 707....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting, dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer. *Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fancy lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a
little white duck, all covered with shit, crossed her path.
"Oh, dear," the lady said, "come on, I'll clean you!" She took a
Kleenex from her purse and did a good job. After that she urged the
duck away. "Be careful next time!"
She walked on and another duck, with shit all over it, crossed her
way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little animal. She
warned this one as well and the duck took off. Then she encountered a
third duck, with the same problem.
"Now I have had it!" She screamed. "What have you been doing?" And
for the third time she acts like a Florence Nightingale.
She walked on - suddenly she heard a voice from the bushes. "Hey,you,
lady!" sounded a male voice in distress.
"Yes?" she replied.
"Do you have a Kleenex?"
"Not anymore, no." she answered.
"Too bad. I'll have to use another duck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
President Barack Obama is being honored on brilliant, uncirculated U.S. Mint Presidential Dollars by The New England Mint. These limited edition coins are now available to the American public for the first time ever through this special offer. Order today and as a special bonus you’ll receive the President Obama 2008 Kennedy Half Dollar Layered in 24K gold FREE!
This offer is only available until January 2009 and then will be retired FOREVER.
To Order follow the link below:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1478
Traveling With Father
BJ pulls up to Walmart and parks.
Katie: We are at Walmart! Oh my goodness sake! I have to tell Rudy
and Sandi. Can I go in?
BJ: Sorry girl, no dogs allowed unless you are a service dog.
Katie: Can you tell them I was in the military?
BJ: I don't think that would work.
Katie: Waah! Well hurry up then.
Later BJ pulls into Braums...
Katie: What are we doing here?
BJ: I am going to get a bag of burgers.
Katie: Who for?
BJ: One for me, one for Diana, one for Rudy, one for Sandi, one
for you. Why do you have tears in your eyes Katie?
Katie: I am so happy....
A few minutes later...
BJ: I think the hamburger might have tasted better if you chewed it.
Katie: Murf, chomp, burp!
Katie: Where to next?
BJ: Next we see grammar.
Katie: This is such a special day.
Later after seeing grammar...
Katie: How come she didn't know me?
BJ: She has a situation called dementia. She is forgetful.
Next time she may remember you Kate. What is important is
we remember her.
Katie: This was sad.
BJ: Yeah, it can be.
Katie: How come doggies do not get that way?
BJ: I do not know. Time to go home Katherine.
At home ... Katie runs to Sandi and Rudy and starts to Jabber
Katie: We went to Walmart and to Braums and saw grammar
and we .....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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