Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Thirty-three years ago tomorrow the Great Lakes ore freighter
Edmund Fitzgerald went to the bottom in a storm with all hands
on board. Normally she would have been just one of the hundreds
of ships lost on a lake that becomes a living Hell when a winter
storm comes out of the North but a Canadian singer, Gordon Lightfoot
wrote a ballad about her and her story became immortal symbolizing
the life of the sailor on the Great Lakes. Those who watch the
Discovery Channel and History Channel probably know her story
well and the possible events that led to her demise and can feel
the terror the 29 men aboard her must have felt those last few
hours praying that their ship would make it the last few miles to
Whitefish Point and the shelter of the bay. That proud ship that
set many records for first and last runs of the season and tonnage
hauled is now a tomb for the 29 men more than 500 feet down.
Those who have never heard the story of the Fitzgerald and
the storm or want to read more here are two websites that
you may want to visit. As of last year the bell will no longer ring
at the Maritime Sailor's Cathedral for the sailors of the
Fitzgerald.
Instead it has been decided to have a service to honor all those
who have died on the Great Lakes on a different date. It does
seem only right that they do it that way too as it is the final
resting
place of many ships and men that hauled the materials to build
this nation.
There will still however be a service and reading of the roll at the
Whitefish Point Shipwreck Museum.
Two years ago after the sinking of the Carrier Oriskany as a natural
reef , I received a letter from Mary telling the story of her
brother Oliver
" Buck " Champeau from Wisconsin who was third engineer
on the Fitzgerald when she sunk and also a crew member of the
Oriskany.
It is indeed a small world and we are not far separated from any
event.
His name and those of his shipmates shall not be forgotten.
S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald Online
http://www.ssefo.
Edmund Fitzgerald Maiden Season
http://www.boatnerd
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the name of the new Catholic sperm bank?
A: "Kingdom Come."
Q: How is a bikini like a barbed-wire fence?
A: It protects the property without obstructing the
view.
Q: How did they know Jesus was Jewish?
A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he
went into his father's business, his mother thought
he was god -- and he thought his mother was a
virgin.
Q- What if mini-skirts got any shorter?
A- Well, there'll be two more cheeks to powder and much more hair to
comb.
Q- What do you call 2 Irish gays??
A- Ben Dover and Phil McAvity.
Q- How do you know if a woman used a vibrator while she was
pregnant?
A- The kid stutters.
Q: Why are men like the letter Q?
A: Because it is a big fat zero with a small
protrusion.
Q: What do you call a coke bottle full of bees?
A: A West Virginia Vibrator
Q; What's the basic plot for a romance novel set in the
inner city?
A: In the end, the hero gets the heroin.
Q: How many kids with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: Let's go ride bikes!
Yo momma's so fat when God said let there be light, he told her to
move her ass over.
Q: How many Irishman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room
starts spinning.
Q: What is the definition of a bachelor?
A: It's some guy who's depriving some woman of her
God-given right to alimony.
Q. What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man? A.
They go forwards, backwards, forwards, and backwards, stop and
eject!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Brain Surgery
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If They Were Just Brains
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Brazil vs. Turkey
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Breakfast Of Champions
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Worse Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, two deputies in the Sheriff's Office answered an emergency
call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies
of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death.
When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with
a gun at his side. "No doubt about it," one deputy said to the
other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and
found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he
shot himself."
"You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and
suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here he's going to
say 'it could have been worse'."
"No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in the house,
and all of them have been shot to death. It couldn't be worse.
You're on."
About that time, the old sheriff arrived at the scene. He walked
into the bedroom and saw the two nude bodies. He then walked into
the living room and saw t! he man on the floor with the gun by his
side. "No doubt about it," the sheriff said, shaking his head. "It
was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his
wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot
himself." After hesitating for a moment, the old sheriff looked his
deputies squarely in the eyes. "But, you know," he said, "it could
have been worse."
The deputy who had lost the bet jumped up and shouted, "Sheriff, how
could it have been worse? There are three people in this farmhouse,
and all three of them are dead. It couldn't have been worse??"
"Yes it could," the sheriff retorted. "You see that guy there on the
floor? If he had come home yesterday, that would be me in there in
that bed!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Prom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prom-Planning Tips
Prom season is just around the corner. Here are some tips to help
make your prom night unforgettable:
The prom is a magical experience, a chance to do such grown-up
things as get all dressed up, drink nine Smirnoff Ices, vomit in a
limo, and pass out in Mom's azalea bushes.
The theme is one of the most important elements of a prom. Choose
carefully between "Tropical Paradise" and "Stepping Out In Style."
Do not attempt to finger-bang your date until a slow song comes on.
Don't forget the corsage! Fresh flowers are necessary to mask the
smell of sweat and foot odor in your school's dank, poorly
ventilated gym.
Try to plan ahead, so you are not more than two or three months
pregnant for your prom.
Next to a bridesmaid dress, a prom dress is the most important dress
you will ever wear.
If you were not asked to prom, you can still have fun by putting on
a dress, buying a taco-salad party platter from the local
Pic-N-Save, and dancing in your bedroom as a portable radio plays
the latest Top 40 hits.
This will be the biggest night of your life if you happen to die in
the next few weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the early 60s I was assigned to the 55th Air Rescue Squadron at
Prestwick, Scotland. In the interest of community relations, we had
a gathering of Scottish people as guests in our club. I noticed an
older lady with an empty glass and asked her if I could get her
another drink. She said, "Yes, please, I'm drinking Gin and Sweet
Vermouth. Please ask the barman not to put any ice in it, it's
giving me heartburn."
~~~~~
I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When he
reached the top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. Then,
twisting his thorax with insectile precision, he grabbed hold of the
next blade. In this manner, he traveled across the lawn, covering as
much distance vertically as he did horizontally, which amused and
delighted me. And then, all at once, I had what is sometimes called
an "epiphany", a moment of heightened awareness in which everything
becomes clear. Yes, hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I
suddenly knew what I had to do... Quit drinking before noon.
~~~~~
One guy was explaining to his friend how the life often compensates
for a person's natural deficiencies. "You see," he said, "If
someone is a bit blind he might have a very good sense of hearing,
or if his sense of taste has gone, he may have a keen sense of
smell." "I agree with you," said the other. "I've always noticed
that if a woman has one small breast , the other one is always just
that little bit larger."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tooth Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this guy who went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled.
First off the dentist said, "I'll give you a shot to numb
your jaw."
But the guy said, "No, please don't do that, I'm afraid of needles."
The dentist said, "OK, I'll get out the gas to put you to sleep."
However the guy said, "Nope, I'm allergic to the gas."
So the dentist said, "Just a minute, I'll go look for
something else." After awhile he came back with a couple of pills.
The guy asked, "What kind of pills are those?"
The dentist said, "Viagra."
The guy said, "WHAT! Why these?"
The dentist said, "They won't help the pain, but they'll
give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We've been married a little over four years, and we just celebrated
our "Wooden" Anniversary. I asked her to give me a blow job and she
"wooden."
The sculptor and one of his students went out for coffee after
class. "You have the most delicate, slender hands," said the
student, a rather gorgeous young thing. "Forgive me for saying it,
but they belong on a woman." Not only did he forgive her, he
obliged.
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly
started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised,
the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell are you
doing?" "Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I
could see that you were tense, so I massaged your back. Sometimes I
just can't help practicing my art!" "That's the stupidest thing I've
ever heard!" the guy replied. "I'm a lawyer. Do you see me screwing
the guy in front of me?"
What's the definition of oral sex?
The taste of things to come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Harbor Lights
http://www.silveran
Carol w/Childhood Friend
http://www.carolspo
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Judy w/ Alphabet Of Fall ~ Unknown
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See You In My Dreams
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HydroElectric Power~How it Works
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Area 51 Military Base Directory
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Healthy Yoys
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
The ANSI Character Set
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movies
Fire Hose Rodeo
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Gym Prank 1
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Gym Prank 2
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Baby Panda Sneeze
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Baby Dog Duet
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Bad Ass Police Dog
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
What Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young Jewish man had just finished high school and wanted to go to
college. He approached his father and said, "Dad, would you send me
to college?" "Son," he replied, "You don't even know what's what!
When you know what's what, I'll send you to college." His father
then offered his son a job in the family business--a furniture
store. The boy--let's call him Sam--worked in his father's store for
the next year. After the year was over he approached his father
again. "Dad," he said, "I've worked for you for a year. Now will you
send me to college?" His dad replied, "Son, you still don't know
what's what! When you know what's what I'll send you to college!"
Sam was dejected. He left and went to a bar to have a drink. At the
bar he met an attractive young lady. They seemed to hit it off well.
They both left and went to her apartment. After an hour of a little
of this and a little of that on the sofa, the young lady said she
was going to go to her bedroom and slip into something more
comfortable. When she returned she was totally naked, except for a
tiny belt around her waist. Sam looked at her in astonishment. Sam
pointed to the belt and asked, "What's that?" The lady answered,
"What's what?" Sam replied, "If I knew what's what I'd be in
college!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why She Will Marry Son
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Boys Will Be Boys
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BP's Price Apology
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Bra Sizing Chart
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once loved a woman named Gert,
Who climbed mountain peaks in a skirt,
She said, "It feels nice,
On the steep rocks and ice,
And it keeps those below more alert!"
- - - - - - - - - -
There was a young laundress named Springer,
Who went on to become a good singer...
She acquired her range,
In a manner most strange;
When she caught both her tits in the wringer!
- - - - - - - - - -
There once was a goddess named Venus,
Whose disarming was awful and heinous,
For her name didn't rhyme,
With sweet words such as "thyme,"
So Zeus punished her for writing "penis."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
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With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golda and Marty were having an affair. One day Saul came
home early. Golda heard Saul's car pull into the driveway
and had Marty hide in the shower. So Saul goes to the
bedroom to change into some old clothes and to take off the
good gold. He goes into the bathroom and sees the
shower curtain shut. This isn't normal, so he opens it.
Oy Vey!! There, naked in the shower, is his best friend Marty.
"Marty! Vat the hell are you doing naked in my shower?"
Saul asked. Marty looked at him and in as serious a tone
as he could come up with said, "Voting?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man dies and goes to Heaven. The angel Gabriel meets him at the
Pearly Gates and takes him on a guided tour.
The man sees various groups of people all standing around and
talking to each other. "These are the Buddhists," says Gabriel. "And
over there are the Jews, and the Hindus. Over here are the Muslims,
and over yonder are the Jehova's Witnesses." In fact, the man sees
every religious group, every nationality, and every culture in
Heaven.
Eventually, the pair comes to a large wall. "Hey, what's this wall
doing in Heaven?" asked the man.
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
wall are the Mormons. They like to think that they're the only ones
here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1462
The Paper Continued
BJ: Okay let me read today's paper and see how the food section
continues.
Rudy: Okay pops!
BJ: How to fix lunch. Grab your lunch bowl, put it on the table.
Get a can of Alpo, open it with a can opener, toss the lid. Pour
contents into bowl. Toss the can. Eat. Hey Rudy, this is the
same as breakfast.
Rudy: No, it isn't keep reading.
BJ: After eating, get a dog biscuit for a snack. Hey this is
still
pretty much the same.
Rudy: Keep on reading, I have supper in there also.
BJ: For supper. Get your supper bowl, put on table. Get can of
Alpo, open can of alpo with can opener, toss lid. Pour contents
into bowl, toss can. Eat contents. Treat yourself to TWO dog
biscuits. Well gee whiz, two dog biscuits.
Rudy: Yeah, see for breakfast you get nothing, for lunch one, for
supper two. It just keeps getting better and better.
BJ: Okay what is the special for tomorrow's paper.
Sandi: It is Katie's turn. We do not have a clue on what she is
writing
about.
To be continued.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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