Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo says Once in awhile I touch on a subject that is on
everyone's
mind. I can tell because I receive more than one or two answers like
this letter from Jerry.
Bailing out the auto makers is one thing, but the biggest problem is
most of the money will go to the unions. The unions had as many
representatives at the mtg. with Nancy (puke) Pelosi as the car
makers did. The unions were, and still are to a certain degree a
good thing, but they are so corrupt and greedy that they have
literally bankrupt the car makers and the state of Michigan. I know
you were union for many years and so was I, but the time has come
for them to step back and let things get back to where the economy
can survive.
Would it help if the car makers filed bankruptcy, yes, then they can
re-negotiate contracts and maybe get back to being competitive with
the rest of the world. Will we suffer, yes, but it will be short
lived and we can live thru it. A job at $20 and hour is better than
no job at $50 and hour.
Just a side note, the reason the democrats and the unions want the
new legislation regarding how unionization is voted on in a work
place is so they can take over the foreign car makers that have set
up in the south were there are no union controls. Then the foreign
car makers can go broke like the big 3
Jerry Moore
buffalo says Rattlesnakes are beautiful creatures and if it wasn't
for the
head that has fangs and poison I wouldn't mind having a bunch
around.
Only problem is without the head they don't live very long. Such is
the
problem with the auto industry and the banking industry too. It is
difficult
to micro-manage companies which we would be doing if we started to
try to spell out what the money was used for even though it is our
money.
If you tell the unions massive cuts in wages, health care, and no
2010
pension plan you would have a strike that would spell the end of the
American Auto.
If you try going into bankruptcy and closing factories and
dealerships
on your unprofitable lines and backing out of union contracts the
nation
would stop buying your vehicles and your company would be dead also.
When American Motors started talking about closing how many people
rushed out to buy a Pacer or a Matador? Nobody did because there
is no market for a vehicle without a dealer structure. Even John
DeLorean
when his company was in trouble resorted to dealing drugs rather
than
filing bankruptcy.
What would be the effect on US and Global Economy say if Chrysler
closed. Look at how their business is intertwined.
Daimler AG
Daimler, the former parent company of Chrysler LLC, retains a 19.9
percent stake in Chrysler and continues cooperation on a number of
fronts, such as advanced diesel engines, fuel cells and cutting edge
safety technology.
Hybrid Cooperation
Chrysler/Mercedes/GM/BMW joined forces to speed up development of
hybrid technology. The "Hybrid Development Center" opened in Troy,
Mich., in 2006 after a $300 million investment by the automakers.
The center now employs more than 500 engineers, technicians and
specialists, including more than 150 engineers from Europe. The
center is focusing on development of a two-mode, dual hybrid system.
Global Engine Manufacturing Alliance
Global Engine Manufacturing Alliance (GEMA) is a joint venture
comprised of Chrysler, Hyundai and Mitsubishi Motors, which
manufactures a family of cost-efficient, in-line, four-cylinder
World Engines.
BBDC
This is a joint venture between Chrysler, Mercedes and Beijing
Automotive Industry Holding Co. (BAIC), which operates a
manufacturing facility in Beijing that produces Mercedes-Benz
vehicles, as well as the Chrysler 300C and Chrysler Sebring for
local markets.
Hyundai
Hyundai builds compact cars in Korea for the Dodge brand in Mexico.
China Motor Corporation
China Motor Corporation (CMC) produces the Chrysler Town & Country
and cargo vans for the Dodge brand in Taiwan for the local market.
Mitsubishi
Chrysler manufactures the Mitsubishi Raider pickup truck at its
Warren, Mich., Truck Assembly Plant for sales in North America.
Volkswagen
Chrysler will manufacture minivans for Volkswagen for sale in North
America.
GAZ
Chrysler manufactures engines in Mexico for GAZ in Russia.
Arab American Vehicles Company
Chrysler and Arab American Vehicles Company have a joint venture to
build Jeep brand vehicles in Egypt.
Chery Automobile Co.
Chrysler and Chery have an agreement for a strategic cooperation for
Chery to build Chrysler, Jeep or Dodge vehicles for North America,
Europe and Latin America.
As I said before my prayers are with whoever handles this mess.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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The sperms in the main group start yelling, "What`s the
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The scout sperm shushes them impatiently, then sniffs the air up
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Scottish Chips
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Govan man, 27, medium build, square heid, big moustache and curly
hair, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and
11.30pm
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It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the
man
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Every year, after the Oxford & Cambridge Boat Race, the Duchess who
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Everyone knows the Scarecrow needed brains, the Tin Man needed a
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home,
but I'd willing to bet that Toto desperately needed to have a few
hairy dingleberries removed from his furry little butt as well.
(Randy
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Why did the little Greek boy want to run away from home? He didn't
like the way he was being reared. Why didn't the little Greek boy
run
away from home after all? He didn't want to leave his brothers
behind
Stan Kegel
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Math Chips
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Nun Chips
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Two newly ordained nuns decided to take a day out. They went to
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As one of the nuns leaned forward to observe the gorillas more
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When the gorilla was finished with her, he came out of his cavern
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into
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laddered
and torn.
She pulled herself together, straightened her dress and tidied
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thing. Never, ever, mention this - or even ask me what happened.
Ever
ever again! Alright?"
The other nun agreed, and they made their way back to the convent.
The years passed. The two nuns remained loyal friends and never
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Many many years later, in their convent, the nun lay dying.
At her bedside, the other nun, still her ever loyal friend,
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dear, please... it won't go any further... I promise... I truly do!
I've always wondered.... Can I ask you something?"
The dying nun nodded.
"Whatever was it that actually happened in the back of that cage
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The other nun slowly turned and looked at her, a tear trickled from
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1. PULL YOUR DROOPY PANTS UP. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.
2. TURN YOUR CAP RIGHT, YOUR HEAD ISN'T CROOKED.
3. LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT; IT'S CALLED A 'DIRT ROAD.' NO MATTER
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4. THEY ARE CATTLE. THEY'RE LIVE STEAKS. THAT'S WHY THEY SMELL FUNNY
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6. SO EVERY PERSON IN RURAL PENNSYLVANIA WAVES. WE THINK OF IT AS
BEING FRIENDLY. TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT.
7. IF THAT CELL PHONE RINGS WHILE AN 8-POINT BUCK AND 3 DOES ARE
COMING IN, WE WILL SHOOT IT OUT OF YOUR HAND. YOU BETTER HOPE YOU
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8. YEAH, WE EAT TATERS & GRAVY, BEANS & CORNBREAD. WE FRY OUR FISH
AFTER 'CATCH IN' 'EM'. YOU REALLY WANT SUSHI & CAVIAR? IT'S
AVAILABLE AT THE CORNER BAIT SHOP.
9. THE 'OPENER' REFERS TO THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON. IT'S A
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10. WE OPEN DOORS FOR WOMEN. THAT IS APPLIED TO ALL WOMEN,
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11. NO, THERE'S NO 'VEGETARIAN SPECIAL' ON THE MENU. ORDER STEAK. OR
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12. WHEN WE FILL OUT A TABLE, THERE ARE THREE MAIN DISHES: MEATS
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PEPPER, HOT SAUCE AND KETCHUP. OH, YEAH...WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU
FOLKS IN JERSEY CALL THAT STUFF YOU EAT...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!!!
13. YOU BRING 'COKE' INTO MY HOUSE, IT BETTER BE BROWN, WET AND
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;
14. YOU BRING 'MARY JANE' INTO MY HOUSE, SHE BETTER BE CUTE, KNOW
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15.COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL IS AS IMPORTANT HERE AS THE
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16. YEAH, WE HAVE GOLF COURSES. BUT DON'T HIT THE WATER HAZARDS---IT
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17. COLLEGES? WE HAVE THEM ALL OVER. WE HAVE STATE UNIVERSITIES,
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18. WE HAVE A WHOLE TON OF FOLKS IN THE ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE, AND
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19. TURN DOWN THAT BLASTED CAR STEREO! THAT THUMPITY-THUMP CRAP AI
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SEE YOUR BOXERS. REFER BACK TO #1.
20. 4 INCHES ISN'T A BLIZZARD-IT'S A FLURRY. DRIVE LIKE YOU GOT SOME
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A TRUE PENNSYLVANIAN WILL SEND THIS ON!!!!!!!
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Parsley Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PARSLEY SUPERSTITIONS
According to an oldwives' tale only the wicked can grow it.
It is very unlucky to give parsley.
Parsley plants must not be given.
Parsley should not be transplanted; it means a death in the family
or
bad luck.
If a stranger plants parsley in a garden, great trouble will befall
the owner.
Where parsley grows in the garden, the missus is the master.
Where the mistress is the master, the parsley grows the faster.
Parsley flourishes best either when sown by the housewife rather
than
by her husband, or in gardens of homes where she is master.
If a young woman sows parsley seed she will have a child.
Parsley is believed to prevent a pregnancy, and is sometimes eaten
as
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If you want to bring on your period put a sprig of parsley inside
your vagina for 12 hours...your period should start 24 hours later.
In the 1600's and 1700's in England, children were told that little
girls came from the parsley bed.
buffalo says After being used as a vaginal garnish no
wonder people don't eat the stuff
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it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow named Pell
Who didn't like cunt very well.
He would finger and fuck one,
But never would suck one---
He just couldn't get used to the smell.
I'm not irredeemably vile
So I've given up sex for a while
(Though I have to admit
I've a penchant for tit,
Nipples, pussies and ladies with style.)
That guy from Wisconsin right there
Wrote this ode to his state in despair
"I left you in bliss
But, Boy do I miss
The sweet smell of your dairy air"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*_52 things you would love to say out loud at work_*
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
Pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself
in
Public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see
it
My way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're
saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and
stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about
you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of
View.
17 . The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely
Coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn
off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humor, but different..........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded
walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the
money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need?
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a
coma.
45. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then
place
It over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on
its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight
away.
50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
51. Don't believe everything you think.
52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
Rose
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THINGS TO SAY TO A MAN WITH A HUGE P'ENIS:
"Is it real?"
"Hot diggity dog!"
"Am I dreaming?"
"Can I keep you?"
"Excuse me while I clear my throat..."
" Hi Buffalo"
Get down on your knees, look heavenward and say, "Thank you, God"
And the most vital thing to say to a man with a huge p'enis, "I DO!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1468
The Advice Kolumn
Diana: Oh look at today's paper, there is an advice column
BJ: Let me read it. Dear Editor, I am a single male, 40 who
wants to find an attractive female to have a relationship with.
What should I do? Signed Desperate in Yonkers.
Dear Bonkers in Yonkers
If you haven't figured it out by now fellow, then you are
out of luck. Go to the local pound and get yourself a nice
dog. Learn to love the dog, take the dog on walks then
perhaps you will meet someone.
Signed Rudy the Editor
BJ: There are more... Dear Editor, I am a female, 24, attractive
and would like to meet a nice guy. However, I consider myself
high maintence. I like new things all the time. What should I do?
Sheri in Shreveport
Dear Shreve,
I can totally understand your problem girl. Why compromise? I
don't. Just hang in there and do what I do. I just do my thing.
If they do not understand me, it is their problem not mine.
Katie Editor
Dear Editor,
I met this lovely gentleman the other day, but the only problem
is he
is twenty years older than I am. What do you say about that? I am
33, he is 53. Help.
Lori in Dodge City
Dear Dodge Ball,
Love is about the age of the hearts not about the age of the
bodies.
I can say in all honesty go for it.
Sandi editor
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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