[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 9-7-10

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Contractors woke me up at 0800 this morning as they went
to work finishing the siding job next door that got caught in
that 50 mph winds last weekend. They also closed down
one of the campgrounds on Lake Superior. Being in a dome
tent or a pop-up camper in those winds is a bad idea unless
you are filming a survival show for the Discovery Channel.
Like Dorothy you might end up in Canada with no wizard
to help you get back and a bunch of Mounties wondering how
you got into the country.

Anyhow unable to sleep I decided to do some bill paying today.
It is easy in a small town and I probably used less gas than I would
have spent for postage but the boot work was tiring as I had to go
into the gas company, electric company, cable tv, garbage company,
K-mart, and the grocery store, all in about an hour. I got back
and had some lunch and went in and took a long nap heh heh.

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

A newsletter you may enjoy

"MUSICAL MAGIC"

is all about sharing Music of all Genre!!!
Everyone is welcome to post their favorite Singer, Song, Midi, Music
Clip.
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Share YOUR MUSIC and you can share other members music.
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Visit group on web at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MusicalMagic

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Golf Chips
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The husband didn't want to play in the "Couples Alternate Shot
Tournament" at the club, but he reluctantly agreed just for the sake
of martial harmony.

He got the first shot. He teed off, a par four, and fired a drive
300 yard down the middle of the fairway.

When they reached the ball, he said to his wife (a novice golfer),
"Just hit it towards the green, hon, anywhere around there will be
fine."

She proceeded to knock the ball deep into the woods.

Undaunted, he said, "That's ok, dear, we'll play it." He spent five
full minutes looking for the ball. He played it for the shot of his
life and actually put the ball just two feet from the hole on the
green.

Arriving on the green he said, "Now, dear, all you have to do is
knock it gently into the hole." She whacked it a good one, right off
the green and into a sand trap.

The husband, still retaining his composure, marched into the sand
trap, summoned all of his skill, and amazingly holed the shot from
there.

Retrieving the ball from the hole he put his arm around his wife and
calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey -- one over par -- but that's
ok.
I think we can do better on the next hole."

She snapped back at him, "Don't bitch at ME. Only *2* of those *5*
shots were mine!"

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

surprises
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m021.html

inventing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m022.html

robbery gone bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m023.html

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Latin Chips
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Todd is waiting for his girlfriend Jill to show up at the bar. His
friend Myrddin happens to come in before Jill and Todd confides in
him the following. "Myrddin, don't let Jill find out about this,
but you wouldn't believe the gorgeous chick I met last night, and
she invited me up to her apartment, and I went... and oh god..it
was the best sex I ever had and..." but then stops short in mid
sentence as Jill is now approaching them at the bar.

Not realizing that Jill is coming up behind him, Myrddin who is
eager and excited to hear all the details then says, "Well go on,
what happened with this gorgeous chick... the best sex you ever
had...tell me...tell me."

Todd tries to get Myrddin to stop asking about it so Jill won't find
out and says, "Ixnay on the Ickchay."

Jill is close enough to have heard Todd say this and angrily asks,
"What chick?"

Myrddin turns around to Jill and says, "Damn Jill, I didn't know you
were bilingual."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Navy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.
The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note
from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante
Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome,
unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the
dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an
evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be excellent
dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies.
One last point: No Jews Please."

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite
rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform,
four handsome, smiling Black officers.

Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered,
"There must be some mistake."

"No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes
mistakes."

Richard

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you heard about the new American radio station called WPMS?
Each month, they play two weeks of love songs, one week of blues,
one week of ragtime and two days of death metal

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for
some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to
her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped
up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained,
"I'm sorry,. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.
"That's really odd," he muttered, "You even sound exactly like her."

At a party a guy cornered a girl and whispered something in her ear.
"You filthy pervert!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let
you do a thing like that to me?" Then her eyes narrowed and she
said, "Unless you're the son-of-a-bitch that stole my diary...."

Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We did sex education at school, and were shown various films on the
Subject. One I especially remember was called, "How to put on a
condom." So when the time came, and I was in the position to try out
what I had learned at school, I took the condom and followed the
instructions from the video. All was going well, until she said,
"So, now what do we do with the banana?"

A concert pianist in Europe received a letter from his wife,
"Darling, while you're in Europe I want you to go out with no one
except men.

And I'll do the same."

A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his
grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His
grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it
all the time... and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex
tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get
older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old,
you are lucky to have it once a year... maybe on your anniversary.
The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and
Grandma now?" His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex
now." "What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked. "Well," Grandpa
said, "She goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to in my bedroom...
And she yells, 'Fuck You!' and I holler back, 'Fuck You too!'"

Then there was the poor girl who found out that the guy she'd
married was gay. On her wedding night she didn't know which way to
turn!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Beau
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John w/ I Can See An Angel
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Surfin Surfari

Measurement Conversion Tables
http://www.ars.usda.gov/Main/docs.htm?docid=9617

Chainsaw Wood Carving
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People of Wal-Mart
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Free Food Composition Database from the USDA
http://tinyurl.com/dr9zo

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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
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and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Applelinks
http://www.applelinks.com/index.php/

Quick Process Info Bar
http://www.processlibrary.com/quickaccess/

HTML For The Conceptual Challenged Person
http://www.arachnoid.com/lutusp/html_tutor.html

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links

Speed Bump
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdew.htm

Terrorist Attack
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That Look
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdeee.htm

The Original Farmer's Daughter
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The Big ABC
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Domaci Mazlicek
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012118.htm

Drum Girls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012119.htm

Escape Rescue
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012120.htm

Ever See A Snake Yawn
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012121.htm

Faryl Smith Britain's Got Talent
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012122.htm

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two diners at an inn are shocked to see on the menu a dish of
"hickory-smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup." They summon a waiter
to complain. Their waiter looks at the menu. Then he flings it
down and yells to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the dammed
printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"

~~~~~
Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-
workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened.

Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that
acts up once in a while."

Josh, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey."

Andy, "No I don't. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the
Stanley Cup Play-Offs. I put my foot through the television."

~~~~~

Q. What do you call a guy who is afraid to use a condom?
A. A Rubber Chicken.

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

blowing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nnmvkdkkf.htm

blowjob
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsgjjufd.htm

blow job beg
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfjskd.htm

blowjob dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvnncjvj.htm

blowjob means
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjjvnnjd.htm

blue balls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfjskdfsl.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How To Talk To Hot Women

I must admit, a woman is a mans best friend.
While I was in college, I did the typical guy thing.
Went to bars, and tried to hang out with chicks; but actually
talking to them was another story. When I was fortunate enough to
finally score, it was guaranteed embarrassment. Thats what brought
me to this site. Not knowing how to carry on a convo cant be the
most popular thing among them. Now that Ive tried how to talk 2 hot
women, actually talking is no longer my biggest worry. Will she be
able to handle this my monster confidence? Thats what I ask myself
now. Thank You ! Jeff, Phoenix, AZ

Visit site->

http://buffaloschips.com/hotwo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lissom psychotic named Jane
Once kissed every man on a train;
Said she: "Please don't panic!
I'm just nymphomanic.
It wouldn't be fun were I sane."
____________________________

A horny young woman named Kate,
Had hoped for a really hot date.
But despite lots of kissing,
His erection was missing;
So next time she'll just masturbate.
____________________________

A disgusting young man named McGill,
Made his neighbors exceedingly ill,
Because of his habits,
Involving white rabbits,
And a bird with a flexible bill.
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After being married for 42 years, I took a careful look at my wife
one day and said, "Darling, 42 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a
cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 19-inch black and
white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 19 year-old
girl. Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, nice big bed
and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 60-year-old woman. It
seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find
a hot 19-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once
again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping
on a sofa bed and watching a 19-inch black and white TV.

Larry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From BJ in Guthrie/Caldwell

On computers, I have been 'in the business' since 1962 and started
out wiring panels on I think IBM 401 systems then migrated to paper
tape. I had to program in machine lingo. The next step was IBM
cards and assembler and fortran. I was the last assembler/fortran
programmer at Hertz Worldwide Reservation Center then onto Cobol
then 4GL lingos. I worked with Honeywell, Burroughs, IBM, UNIVAC,
NCR, Litten monrobot, Data General and probably a few others I have
forgotten. I have been a Network Manager, Systems Manager,
Operations Manager, Computer Operater, Programmer, Programmer
Analyst II, Data Base Administrator, Security Administrator,
Reservation and Communication Analyst, Production Control Analyst.
My favorite would have to be the Systems Manager by far and the
worst is programming. I have two laptops and one PC at home and
probably will get a super desktop fairly soon with about 3-6
terrabytes with mirroring and I will network all these guys
together.
I had my own consulting business for about 10 years and worked with
a lot of companies regionally and around the world. It was a blast
but also time consuming. My favorite guys were the Aussies.

BJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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