THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Fathom the odd hypocrisy that Obama wants
every citizen to prove they are insured, but
people don't have to prove they are citizens".
Ben Stein
____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love
this, especially all of the ladies who bake for church
events: Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Church
Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until
the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the
bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found
an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying
her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.
When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped
flat and the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed,
"Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!" This cake
was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at
her new church, and in her new community of friends. So,
being inventive, she looked around the house for something
to build up the center of The cake. She found it in the
bathroom - a roll of toilet paper.
She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only
did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.
And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church
and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some
money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the
moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive,
perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell
phone & called her mom.
Alice was horrified - she was beside herself! Everyone would
know! What would they think? She would be ostracized,
talked about, ridiculed!
All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people
pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.
The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to
think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal
shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a
good time. She did not really want to attend because the hostess
was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the
fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding
families of Tuscaloosa , but having already RSVP'd, she couldn't
think of a believable excuse to stay home.
The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old
south and to Alice 's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!
Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake!
She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it,
but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said,
"what a beautiful cake!"
Alice , still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard
the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say,
"Thank you, I baked it myself."
Alice smiled and thought to herself, "God is good."
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
another beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p051.html
she got it all
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p052.html
at the metro
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p053.html
an addict
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p054.html
approoved cartoon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p055.html
run away
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p056.html
dating service
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p057.html
buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p058.html
Mr. Moore
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p059.html
in Bagdad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p060.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
a walk in fridge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/154.html
magic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/155.html
hitchiker
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/156.html
sleepin with friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/157.html
1arab_fun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/158.html
stranded
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/159.html
hey kitty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/160.html
_______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
big mover
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd398.html
perfection
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd399.html
Africa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd400.html
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her
class one morning and she asked the question, "When
you die and go to Heaven . . Which part of
your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands
together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said,
"Sister, I think it 's your legs."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom
the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she
was saying, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
The nun fainted.
____________
One day, the Lord decided to make a companion for Adam.
He summoned St. Peter and told him of his decision. He
told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was
similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him
comfort, companionship and pleasure. The Lord said he would
call this being a woman.
So St. Peter went about creating this being which was
similar to man yet was different in ways that would be
appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When
St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be
called woman he summoned The Lord.
"Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job,"
said The Lord.
"Thank You, Great One," replied St. Peter.
"I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and
senses to the being, this...woman. I require your
assistance on this matter, Lord."
"You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more
intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate, and more
adaptable than man's," said The Lord.
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter. "How many will I put in her hands?"
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Then we shall do the same for this woman," said The Lord.
"And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?" inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Seventy five, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet,
so they benefit from having less nerve endings there.
Do the same for woman," said the Lord.
"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals?"
inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Four hundred and twenty, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving
extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman," said The Lord.
"Yes, my Lord," said St. Peter.
"No, wait," said The Lord. "Screw it, give her ten thousand!
I want her to scream my name!"
Well....... now you know!
_________________
Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58PM.
He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a
man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did
a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer,
saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier
on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Homer took the money.......
______________
Q: What is the difference between a fag and a freezer.*
A: The freezer don't fart when you take the meat out!*
Q: Why do women have periods?*
A: Because they deserve them.*
Q: Why does everyone want to work at the impotency clinic?*
A: It's a soft job.*
Q: What's the difference between wives and secretaries?*
A: Secretaries get a little behind at work, wives get a big behind at home.
Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?*
A: It did $100 million worth of improvements.*
_____________
The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a
Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time
they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two
seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising
altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back
in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'
'No rike Chinese?' asks the copilot, ... 'why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'
'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl
Hahbah ! That Japanese, not Chinese.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... .doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence..
'I no rike Jews!' the copilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.
'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!'
exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'
Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ....nomattah...all same ! ! !
___________
I met a fairy today that would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Democrats get their
heads out of their butts!"
"You crafty bitch!" said the fairy
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Leno Needs Body Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrf.htm
Let the Beast Go
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acdsd.htm
Levis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adewwrr.htm
Lip Balm Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axsdf.htm
______________
FUN PAGES
Cooking Dash
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41692&s=n
Dead Love
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41408&s=n
Afro Wig
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42032&s=n
Jessica Alba's Got Milk Photo
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20498&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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