Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Due to circumstances beyond my control there was no chips
for Wed. Sept. 15. On Tuesday just before I was ready to send
the chips out we lost phone service and along with it the DSL.
I remembered that a contractor had started the excavation on
our parking lot for paving under a city block grant. I went to the
back door and you could see the underground phone cable cut
and on the ground. The location had been marked with orange
paint and little flags but it wasn't buried very deep, probably 4-6
inches. I offered them connectors and some extra wire to attempt
a splice but they weren't able to splice it and promised to report
it to the phone company and it was almost dark and I wasn't
going to try to match wire colors with a flashlight. I watched some
extra TV and got some extra sleep figuring AT&T would be there in
the morning.
I came beck from a doctor's appointment around 1400 and still
no phone and Buffy was steaming about no net so I let her call
AT&T and they said they had no work order from the contractor
and they couldn't fix it till Thurs. They came close to losing me
to the cable company . Then Buffy called the City Planning
Department and raised Hell with them about the contractor
and she must have gotten someone's attention because while
I went out to visit Nancy they showed up and got it repaired
about 1830.
I went to the doctor yesterday for my monthly check-up and he
asked me if I wanted the flu shot, which I took and I also blame
for the headache and a few aches I have had since. He asked
me if anyone else in my house needed one and I told him if
it made me sick I'd buy Sandy one for her birthday. I told Sandy
about it when I got home and she laughed. After 30 years she
understands buffalo humor.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Klingon Chips
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A certain Russian starship navigator was the only survivor of a
shuttle craft landing on a disputed planet. Unfortunately he had
landed in Klingon territory and was promptly captured by two
Klingons who claimed he was spying.
Alas, the Klingons had lost their own transportation and their
communicators in the same ion storm, so they had to march on foot
and did not reach their destination 'til nightfall. Around the
campfire, the Klingons began to bore the young man with boasts of
Klingon strength and machismo.
Finally the Russian said, "That's not so tough. In Russia we're so
tough we play Russian Roulette instead of poker."
The Klingons asked what was so tough about Russian Roulette and were
fascinated by the Starfleet officer's description of the "sport".
"That is indeed an exhilarating sport and an honorable death for the
losers. Do you think you can teach us this game if we untie your
hands?," asked the leader.
Seeing an opportunity to get his hands free and on a phaser or
blaster, the young navigator agreed. His hands were untied and he
explained again the basic concept of placing a weapon to your head
and firing with the possibility that it would not kill you and then
passing it to the next person.
The officer reached for his phaser in the stack of his confiscated
goods but was stopped by a rough Klingon hand.
"Wait!" The Klingon grinned evilly as he said, "You're trying to
trick us. Well we're too smart for you."
The navigator's heart stopped as the Klingon paused and lifted his
blaster. "I'll go first!"
Whereupon, to the Russian's amazement the Klingon idiot pointed the
blaster to his head and fired. As the headless corpse fell to the
ground, the Russian lunged for the fallen weapon.
But alas, he was not fast enough. His arm was rudely twisted behind
his back by the second Klingon who leaned forward and took the
blaster from his fallen comrade's hand.
Laughing menacingly, the second Klingon said, "Hah! I am not so
stupid as you think. I know how this works. Now it's my turn!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
text drive and survive
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name games
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mother
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Mosque Chips
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Question: Say you wanted to invest in the opening of a gay bar next
to the proposed mosque in NYC. After all, to our 'Great One', it's
all about constitutional rights and tolerance of others isn't it?
Or would it be insensitive to put one up next to the mosque given
their beliefs against homosexuality?
Anyway here are a few 'Proposed' name ideas for bar:
"Outfidels"
"You Mecca me Crazy",
"Turbin Cowboys".
Here are a few other contenders:
30 Honor Drillings
29. Jihard
28. Filthy Omar's Rusty Trombone
27. The Arabian Queen
26. Dune Biters
25. Goat's Night Off
24. The Pink Prophet
23. The Leather Burqa
22. Git Mo
21. Pig in a Poke
20. Sheiks & Freaks
19. Sodom and Gonorrhea
18. Osama Bin Dover
17. The Exploding Goat
16. Weapons of Ass Destruction
15. Alla Assbar
14. Anderson Cooper's Apartment
13. The Sticky Prophet
12. The Sphinxter
11. Grind Zero
10. Nuclear Fuel Rods
9. Hassan's TestostoRoom
8. Turbuns
7. Bunker Busters
6. The Tali-bone
5. Al-Jizzera
4. The Gaza Stripper
3. The Sandy Gerbil
2. The Camel's Hump
1. Hide the Minaret
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Salesman Chips
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A salesman, who is getting ready for his next trip,
asks his wife to include a condom in his suitcase.
His wife instantly asks, "Why?"
He replies, "Just a reminder if I want to try
something different."
She grabs a bar of soap, drops it into one of his
socks, swings it in the air, and WHAM!!! swings it
up between his legs.....
After much pain, and gathering his composure,
he asks.... "Why the hell did you do that?"
She replies, "Just a reminder if you want to try
something different."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a rape trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what
the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to
answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer.
After reading the note, the judge instructed the jury foreman to
read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors.
One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting
next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to fuck
you like you've never been fucked before."
The juror smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket.
"Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the
judge.
"I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal."
The teacher was telling the class about plants that have the word
"dog" in front of them: dogrose, dogwood, dog violet. She asked the
class if they could name another flower with the prefix "dog."
Steven raised his hand and said, "Sure, Miss Jones, a
'collie'flower!"
"A Brown University graduate student in biology is wanted now for
allegedly stealing a herpes virus from the university lab. That's
when you know you're a nerd, when you have to steal the herpes virus
instead of going out and catching it in the wild like everyone
else." -Jay Leno
Q: What do the Chicago White Sox and Bobby Brown have in common?
A: Regular Houston beatings!
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Little Johnny's classroom, the teacher gave the class a homework
assignment. She wanted them to tell the class one talent that they
had and that they were especially good at.
The next day the Teacher calls on Mary. Mary got up and said "I've
been taking piano lessons for 2 years. The teacher told Mary that
was very good.
After all of the other students told about their talent, the teacher
doesn't have a choice but to let Little Johnny have his turn. She
doesn't want to call on him because she is scared of what he is
going to say.
She asked Little Johnny to tell the class about his special talent.
He stood up and said, " This is my special talent". Then he stuck
his tongue out.
The teacher said, "Little Johnny, I don't understand." "How is your
tongue a special talent"?
Little Johnny said, "See this ball where my tongue is pierced? My
babysitter said that was a special talent because not every boy that
she baby sits for has a pussy grinder!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Grandmas Family Picnic
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ann/Gra.html
Rick w/ The Master's Way
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/ra/MasterWay.html
Never Give Up
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/nevergiveup.html
My Ride
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Surfin Surfari
Parachute Game
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The Survivial Test - test your survival IQ
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Awesome School
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Blink Of An Eye
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free Fax . Free Internet Faxing
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Cellphone for the Blind
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Music-Streaming Site with a Mood-Ring Interface
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
My Catty Life!
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Movie Links
Crazy White Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/okoil.htm
Crime Scene Technology
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Cubs Game
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Cucumber Sandwich
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Dancing With A Man
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Dog In Pool
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdee.htm
Dogs
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Don't Smoke here
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Drill Team For Retired Guys
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Earthquake
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Surprise Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming
fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go
this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing
and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated. The following week
when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake they were shocked to see
Dave. He was already sitting on the dock, fishing rod in hand, and
drinking a beer. His buddies asked, "How did you talk your missus
into letting you go Dave?" Dave replied, last night I came home and
slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows thinking
how much I wanted to go fishing. Then the ol'lady snuck up behind me
and covered my eyes and said, "Surprise". When I peeled her hands
back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and
she said, "Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you
can do whatever you want".
SO I DID AND HERE I AM!
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
coin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjfkdlgjdlgf.htm
col sanders
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cold
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cold as
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cold as ice
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Poem Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the tale of Freddy Law
whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door.
By the time they freed him, he didn't feel well
for his private parts were mangled to hell.
They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew,
but when they arrived, there's nought they could do.
What a bad blow for Fred, condemned without choice,
to live with no sex and a high squeaking voice.
But lucky for Fred, so he wouldn't feel a fool,
some bright spark suggested a "Bionic Tool".
A smart new electric one, made out of brass,
though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.
Now newly equipped and after a rest,
Fred thought he would put the tool to the test.
So finding a woman, the nearest one handy,
supplied her with drink and made her feel randy
She, without waiting, put her hand in Fred's flies,
as she felt what was there, gave a cry of surprise.
"That's my Bionic Chopper. Now lets have some fun".
"Cor blimey" she said, "It felt like a gun."
They both stripped quick and Fred entered her fast,
he turned up the control knob and gave her full blast.
They clung to each other as Fred's dick shook some more,
then they bounced off the bed and onto the floor.
Now the pace hotted up and they started to choke,
as the room became filled with blue dirty smoke.
With a bang Fred's left bollock shot up in the air,
and his other one went bonkety-bonk down the stair.
So back for repair went Fred full of woe,
Was this how his sex life was destined to go ?
To return to his doctor at the end of each shag
with his tool in his pocket and his balls in a bag ?
But they fixed up young Fred, made him manly again,
for they boosted his batteries with a flex from the main.
So if he cant get a girl, now poor Fred doesn't cry,
he just flicks on the switch and jerks himself dry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KALUGA, Russia (UPI) -- Russian police said a female hairdresser was
arrested for allegedly keeping an unsuccessful armed robber bound as
a sex slave for two days. Web site Life.ru quoted police as saying
the 32-year-old man entered the hair salon at about 5 p. m. March
14, brandished a gun and demanded money from workers and customers,
The Moscow Times reported Wednesday. However, the 28-year-old
hairdresser, who had martial arts training, disarmed the man and
bound him with a hair-dryer cord. Police told Life.ru that the woman
then allegedly kept the man gagged and handcuffed to a radiator for
48 hours. She is accused of forcing him to take Viagra and forcing
him to have sex with her multiple times. The woman let her prisoner
go March 16 and he went to police after seeking treatment for
injuries to his genitals. The Web site said the man filed a
complaint asking for the hairdresser to be brought up on charges for
"actions of a sexual nature." The woman filed a complaint the next
day seeking armed robbery charges against the man. "I don't know
what's going to happen now," Life.ru quoted a police source as
saying. "We could put both of them behind bars: him for robbery, her
for rape and assault."
(In the same cell? Maybe not.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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