Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Coffee is something that people love to talk about and these
stories are too good not to share with everyone.... buff
Hey Buff and da herd, Howard the SbrBiker here,
Buff wrote:
I want to mention one fact here about coffee cups today.
A sailor's coffee cup is a personal possession. Unless there are
previous arrangements made it should never be touched even to rinse
it out and woe be on the person who took it upon themselves to
remove the accumulation of tar from a broken in coffee cup. Lots of
time that tar is the only thing holding the coffee cup together and
the only thing worse than washing a sailor's cup is breaking it.
You might as well jump ship and swim for shore.
When I was in the Marines I was fortunate enough to work up at the
General's Headquarters during my second enlistment. The rule
regarding coffee cups was pretty much the same as you mentioned.
The cue was to ensure that you had a cup that 1) didn't look like
the regular cups available and 2) was unique enough that it couldn't
be confused with someone else's cup. To that end I had a doozy!
Not only was it pink, but it had a mushroom on the side that had a
green stem and a yellow top. No one could claim it. The main point
of this writing is something you mentioned about cleaning out the
accumulation. I never washed my cup back then, coffee just didn't
taste right in a clean cup, LOL. Now my cup had a crack in it but
it didn't leak so I didn't worry about it other than to make sure I
didn't bang it against anything that might shatter it. One day I
got the opportunity to go out in the field, to keep up my
proficiency with my MOS, and actually took my cup along with me. I
was going to be sitting in an Observation Post during the exercise
and they had a coffee pot, among other amenities you didn't normally
expect when "in the field". Upon my return, my loving girlfriend
saw my coffee cup and thought it was disgusting. No knowing any
better, she decided to "do me a favor" and cleaned my cup. I
firmly, but lovingly, informed her never to do that again. This is
when I discovered that my coffee cup leaked, right at the crack.
Not a lot, but enough that it was noticeable. It took me six months
to "reseason" my cup and get it to stop leaking, LOL. I no longer
have that cup, but I still have fond memories when I think of it and
this story. Today I wash my cups, but it took over 15 years for my
wife to get me to that point, LOL. You all have a great day and
keep me entertained with Scuttlebutt stories. Thanks for listening.
Howard AKA SbrBiker - If you are not living life to it's fullest,
you are wasting it!
William,
Thank you, people never figure it out. If my cup can hold coffee
stains then it can absorb soap. I'd rather warm up old coffee than
soap........ You are right, it is sacrilege to wash a persons coffee
cup. My wife washed one of mine and it broke.
TEd
USCG Retired.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny was talking to his father about Suzy.
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Psych Chips
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A woman who had the worst chronic headache goes to a famous "new
age" holistic doctor, as a last resort.
"Doctor, I have tried everything, but my headache just won't go
away."
The doctor replied, "You have come to the right place. This is what
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As she leaves the doctor's office, skeptical but curious at the same
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Fingers pointed at her temples, she starts repeating "I really don't
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said it four times, when she realizes her headache is gone. Shocked
and elated, she runs back up to the doctor.
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been having problems in a certain department... how can I put it...
"
"When was the last time you two had sex?"
"About eight years ago."
"Send him over."
A few days later, she is waiting with baited breath for her husband
to come home from the doctor. He arrives, asks her to wait, and goes
straight to
the bathroom. When he comes out, he throws her on the couch and
starts making wild passionate love to her. When he's finished, he
goes right back to the bathroom.
A few minutes later he comes out, rouses her from her bliss and
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the
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wife....."
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Short Chips
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Two prisoners were having a chat. The first one said. "I've got two
tickets for the warden's ball, Do you want to buy one?" "No thanks,"
said the second guy. "I can't dance." "It's not a dance," said the
first prisoner. "It's a raffle!"
A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the
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"Why, because you miss me?"
"No, because it keeps me from cumming too fast."
The courtroom was pregnant with anxious silence as the judge
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Men Chips
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The difference between "Men" and "Guys"
Men: know what they want to be doing five years down the road.
Guys: are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.
Men: read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf.
Guys: read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker.
Men: wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with
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Guys: wear high school T-shirts they've actually owned since high
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Men: balance their checkbooks.
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Men: claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors,
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Men: are afraid of becoming their fathers.
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Short Chips
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A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely Active sex
life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and
had wet dreams all the time.
The Doctor asked Which he liked the Best.
He Replied, "Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in
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Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to
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back from my
husband. He wrote, "Imagine my disappointment when I realized that
your invitation wasn't sent only to me." He was referring to the
"Subject" line of my message, which read, "Lunch and a shower."
While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out
peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights
lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other
Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind
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Short Chips
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The blonde co-ed danced excitedly into her room clapping and
chanting, "I won! I won! That guy is so stupid!"
Her room mate asked "What on Earth are you going on about?"
"Well," the blonde explained, "I just met this really stupid guy who
bet me a dollar that if I touched my toes he could screw me without
my feeling a thing, and I won!"
Jill: How long has it been since you had sex, Mary?
Mary: Well, THAT'S an awfully personal question!
Jill: That long, huh?
Three old guys from the twilight home were given, as a treat, a day
at the beach. And it turned out to be a nudist beach. They were
watching the various young women agog.
When the prettiest of them all walked by, one of the men said, "I'd
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"I'd like to give her a kiss," said the second man.
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Toon Chips
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Aliens Come In Piece
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Limerick Chips
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The fact of the matter is: Jack
Had long wanted Jill on her back;
So he told her some tale,
About filling a pail...
And then bungled his plan of attack.
No problem to get her clothes a peeling....
But complained she felt no sexual feeling
So had her douche a bit with blue Lavoris
And being a gent I just tickled her clitoris
And had to pry her off a fan in the ceiling
Young Barb was intrigued with romance..
One night she decided to take a chance..
And went dancin' and imbibing on the go
Till she ended up with that special glow
And soon her younger sisters were aunts
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* What If Titanic sank Today?
Reaction from different countries:
U.S.A:
"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists. We will not
sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson. Bin Laden you can run but
you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network."
(President Bush........ who else?)
U.K:
"I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both
agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant proof that Iran is
clearly behind this attack, Iran is imposing a threat to the world
and this has to be dealt with."
Iraq:
"LOL!!!"
Israel:
"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say
that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide
bombers who have committed such a crime.We will now impose curfew on
the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them,
destroy their homes and refugee camps." (Ariel Sharon)
Canada:
"Titanic who?"
(Canadian Prime Minister)
India:
"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. [Pakistan is involved] We have
received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris.
Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We
are now deploying more soldiers to the border." (Prime Minister)
UN:
"Shit happens right??"
(Sec.Gen.)
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1875
Fair Thee Well
At the fair the gang receives instructions from BJ and Diana
BJ: So here is the deal
Stay together
No running
No arguments
Do not cause trouble
Diana: We all eat at the same time. We arrived together
and will leave together. We are a family so we stick together.
Understand?
Dogs: Got it!
BJ: Okay let's have fun.
Zoom!
BJ: Hey they just took off in all different directions. They did
not hear one word we said.
Diana: There is Rudy at the Corn Dog stand.
BJ: Sandi at the Indian Taco Stand. Just like last year...arrrgh.
Diana: Except this year we have Val.
BJ: Where is Val?
A crowd is gathering by a tent...
Katie is dressed like a carney, straw hat and cane: Come one come
all see the amazing black dog who will leap from the tower and dive
into the small tub of water.
Val is wearing a cape with a mask..
Diana: Stop!!!!
to be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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