Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It is raining outside and 50 degrees. It was so windy last night I
thought I was living on the East Coast. We had gusts of 45 mph
and the guy next door is installing new vinyl siding and had one
piece across from my bedroom window that was only nailed on
one end and it was banging against the building all night like
headboards in a seedy hotel. By the time the wind died down
Eva showed up and slapped me awake with her teddy bear. No
rest for the weary.
Nancy called today to say that our sister Lisa was here from Spokane
so I took a ride out to the country to hat for three hours. She was
showing
the work she was doing on a Brabant family tree on Ancestry .com
She pointed out two Brabant's she had found that had murdered their
wives one about 50 years ago and another almost a hundred years ago
and one also had a first wife that had died a mysterious death also.
She had been found head first in a four foot tall rain barrel and
she was
only four foot 11inches and there was only a foot of water in the
barrel.
I think that would qualify as suspicious circumstances today.
Unfortunately
none of these were related to us. You know having an ax murderer
in your family is something that is a definite conversation starter.
Have a safe long weekend ... buffalo
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Love Chips
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Little Johnny came home from his hot date and sat down to talk with
his dad. He had a smile on his face. 'It must be true love, dad' he
sighed.
'What makes you think that it is true love?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Suzy started out giving me the best
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'Nah,' replied his dad, 'that's not true love, it is just lust.'
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'What makes you think that it is true love this time?' asks his dad.
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'If what Suzy and I have is just infatuation, then what is true
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her up the ass first, then give you the best blow job of your life!'
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Short Chips
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A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache.
Below the picture is titled... "Got Milk".
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white
mustache. It is entitled.... "Forgot milk".
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white
mustache on it. It is entitled ...."Not Milk...."
Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.
Defendant: Commander Ebenezer Jackson.
Judge: What does the "Commander" stand for?
Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the "Honorable" in front of your
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Short Chips
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My friend Felix is still out there job hunting. He says he always
has a problem when filling out the job application and gets to the
part about 'Sex: F or M.' He says he never knows which to choose --
He says he really likes to Fuck, but he spends most of the time
alone Masterbating.
Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom.
"I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and
I've reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," she
said. Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didn't
spend that much on my wedding." My friend answered, "I can have
three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once."
I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive
different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have
their own computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail
addresses and Home Pages. Each has their own fuck-buddy, They say
they're doing everything they can to keep their marriage together.
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Monkey Chips
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Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they
rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2
weeks.
But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea
was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.
A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY
the idea had never been tried, they were stuck for someone to pull
the cork out.
One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a
monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to
pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for
another go. The big day arrived, they set up all the monitoring
equipment and set out to a safe distance.
The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away
and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first
scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer.
BBBAAANNNGGG!!!!!!!
The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the
second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile
away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who
was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter.
"What the %$*& is so funny?" asked one of the scientist.
You should have seen that monkey trying to put that cork back in.
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Short Chips
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Mary: Well, I've never known anyone so forward! This perfect
stranger just walked up to me at the party and asked, "How would you
like some mind-blowing, earth-shaking, window-shattering sex?"
Jill: I can't believe it!
Mary: Neither could I! When I told him, "No, thanks!" he just added,
"Well, would you mind lying down so that I could have some?"
~~
Mike picked up an attractive woman, named Linda,
who flagged down his car in a seedy part of town.
As they rode, he asked her what she did for
a living.
Linda winked at Mike and said, "I'm a magician."
"No way," Mike scoffed. 'Prove it."
So Linda touched him on the thigh, and "Poof"
Mike turned into a hotel.
~~
A drunk stumbles out of a bar and he needs to piss, so he makes his
way into the cemetery behind the tavern. He walks right to the edge
of a freshly dug grave, loses his balance, and falls in.
There's a puddle of water in the hole, and he spends the rest of the
night yelling, "Help me, I'm cold! Someone help me, I'm cold!"
At closing time, another drunk walks behind the bar to piss, and
hears the noise. He gets to the open grave, looks down and says, "Of
course you're cold, you stupid, son-of-a-bitch, you kicked all the
dirt off yourself!"
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/County Fair
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ann/Fr.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
John w/ Peggy Sue
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Walk With Me
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Surfin Surfari
COMEDIAN ROBERT SCHIMMEL DIES AT 60
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Learn Sarver Heart Center's Continuous Chest Compression CPR Via
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West Nile Disease
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A LIGHT-HEARTED LOOK AT THE UNIVERSE
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Touchpad Pal Via Dave
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Free Pixel Art Creator Via Wesley
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Online Virtual Makeover Site Via Wesley
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Animal World
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Kitty Korner
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Fifty Chips
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Fifty Ways To Love Your Beaver
(sung to the tune of "Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover.")
I was a virgin not much older than 16
I was as horny as a young girl's ever been
My friend said, "Please yourself ... it's safe and not obscene!"
There must be fifty ways to love your beaver.
Fifty ways to love your beaver.
Just finger the pie, Di
Diddle the clam, Pam
Why not masturbate, Kate
And listen to me
Touch yourself THERE, Claire
You'll feel better everywhere!
Go stroke where you pee, Lee
And set yourself FREE!
She said "You know it hurts me so to see you in such need.
But you know now you don't have to deal with men and messy seed." I
said "I appreciate that ... and I'll follow your lead and use the
fifty ways."
She said, "Why don't you just take home this vibrator tonight And I
believe that when you try it you'll begin to see the light." And
when I felt it buzz, I realized she probably was right! There must
be fifty ways to love your beaver. Fifty ways to love your beaver.
Just finger the pie, Di
Diddle the clam, Pam
Why not masturbate, Kate
And listen to me
Touch yourself THERE, Claire
You'll feel better everywhere!
Go stroke where you pee, Lee
And set yourself FREE!
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Toon Chips
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cheating bitch
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cheerleader2
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cheerleaders
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chess
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Limerick Chips
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there once was a fellow named clyde
but his girth was so far from wide
when he expelled a gas
he fell through his ass
hanging there till he strangled and died
There once was a vicar from Kew,
Who preached with his vestments askew,
A woman named Morgan,
Caught sight of his organ,
And promptly passed out in her pew
There once was a man from Goshum
who took off his balls to wash 'em
His wife said Jack
if you don't put 'em back
I'll put 'em in the wringer and squash'em.
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Parting Chips
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Little Johnny had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his
uncle came to visit and Little Johnny was anxious to show off his
newly acquired skill. He asked his uncle to give him an addition
question. So his uncle asked, "What is three plus four?"
Little Johnny counted it out on his fingers and said, "Seven."
His uncle said, "Listen Little Johnny, you can't count it out on
your
hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad
at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets."
So Little Johnny put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked,
"What is five plus five?"
His uncle saw movement in Little Johnny's pockets, and then Little
Johnny said, "Eleven!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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