Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
A little two parter from the archives to give my brain a rest.
Does everyone know what month September is? It's National Head Lice
Awareness Month. Over the past few weeks we have gotten little
Johnny or Mary settled into his beautiful classroom with
well-groomed little kids that look like the ads for Wal-mart or
Penny's and everything is cool. The children are doing great , you
met the teacher at Open House and she is remarkable and then a note
comes home addressed from the school. First thought is," What are
they accusing my little sweetheart of doing?" Second thought as you
open the envelope is more realistic, like, " I hope Johnny didn't
try telling dirty jokes that he got from that buffalo like he did in
homeroom last year." Then you are floored. The note is from the
principal or school nurse and one of your children's classmates is
infected with head lice and the whole class is probably infected
from playing together. Included in the envelope is an instruction
pamphlet modeled after one they use in the State Prisons that is
100% effective. Next thought that enters your mind is, "I hugged
the children this morning.", and your scalp begins to itch from the
suggestion and pretty soon you have both hands in your hair digging
as imaginary bugs bore holes through your scalp. This is awful long
so you will have to wait till tomorrow for the rest of the story.
Enjoy the chips...
buffalo heh heh .
A Newsletter you may enjoy
C's Place Too
A small group where you can post coupon forms,
small gift items, craft items for sale freebies
and information on saving money.
No adult content is allowed.
Join at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/csplacetoo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hooked on Phonics is the world famous and award-winning education
program that has been teaching kids how to read for over twenty
years. This carefully designed and perfected eight-week program is
guaranteed to improve your child's reading skills.
Three-time winner of both the National Parenting Seal of Approval
and the Teachers' Choice Award, Hooked on Phonics is the proven
method to boost reading skills and comprehension. Hooked on Phonics
is not only educational, but its also fun -- kids become better
readers while they play. Not only will you witness your childs
education improve, but you will also notice that your child will
actually want to read, finding it fun and exciting.
See results in your child immediately with Hooked on Phonics.
http://buffaloschips.com/hop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An embarrassed young woman was farting uncontrollably when her date
was due to arrive. She was an accomplished pianist so to drown the
noise she offered the play the Storm Scene from the William Tell
Overture.
She had concluded the piece when she felt another fart attack on its
way and quickly asked him if he would like another tune on the
piano.
"Well if it is that storm scene again," he said, "can you leave out
the bit where the lightning strikes the shithouse?
"Always remember," said the businessman to his son, "there are two
things that will ensure your success in business."
"What are they?" the son asked.
The businessman replies, "Integrity and wisdom."
"Integrity?" the son asks.
"That's right son. No matter how it may be to your detriment, no
matter what your colleagues or the board may say, ALWAYS keep your
word once you have given it."
"And wisdom?" the son asks.
The father smiles and winks and says, "Don't be a horse's ass, NEVER
give your word."
The budget-minded woman was always clipping coupons in the young,
lean years when she was first married, and even kept detailed
records of how much money she saved. One of her first jobs way back
then was running the cash register at the local drugstore.
One day, she had a self-conscious young man approach the counter to
buy some condoms. She noticed a dollar-off coupon on the box and
asked him if he'd like to use it, adding that she and her husband
had saved over $400 redeeming coupons last year.
The stunned young man replied, "On these?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
wake up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m001.html
next time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m002.html
swat team
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m003.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magic Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- A brunette, redhead and blonde were at a special magic Amusement
Park.One of the rides was a long slide at the end of which was a
magic pool. On the way down the slide, all the rider had to do was
shout out his or her favourite drink, and hey-presto they would land
in a pool full of this drink. So off they went.
The brunette went first. On her way down she shouted out "Vodka" at
the top of her voice, and sure enough she landed in a pool of the
finest vodka. After filling several bottles and glasses she went
home, happy but a little un-steady.
Next the redhead - who loved a 10 year old malt, went flying down
shouting "Whisky", and of course into a pool of whisky she fell.
She had to be dragged away practically unconscious.
Now it was the blondes turn. She was very excited, and on her way
down she was enjoying the ride so much she shouted -
"Weeeeeee"......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never Search for a sharp knife again
The YoshiBlade is made from diamond hard Zirconium Oxide, which is
40% stronger than steel.
This new ceramic knife is guaranteed to stay sharp for life. This
will be the last knife you will
ever need to buy.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/yobl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crunchy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, bartender," says a customer, sitting at the bar. "What kind
of bird is that sitting on the perch?"
"Oh," says Bob the bartender, "that's a Crunchy Bird!"
"I never heard of a Crunchy Bird," says the patron.
"Just watch," says Bob. He takes a newspaper off the bar and throws
it down on the floor, then he turns to the bird and says, "Crunchy
Bird, my paper!" The bird swoops down and attacks the newspaper. He
rips it to shreds until there's nothing left but tiny pieces of
confetti.
"Wow," says the customer, "can I try?"
"Be my guest," the bartender replies.
The customer takes off his shoe and puts it on the bar and says,
"Crunchy Bird, my shoe!" The bird flies down off the perch and picks
the shoe up with his beak. He slams the shoe down on the bar and
starts attacking it. In no time, the shoe is reduced to nothing but
a few pieces of leather and a shoelace. Then the bird flies back to
his perch behind the bar.
Suddenly a tough looking guy walks into the bar. He yells, "Gimme a
drink NOW!"
He looks around the bar snarling and yells at the patrons, "What the
Hell are you clowns looking at?" The bar is completely silent.
Then the bully notices the bird and says, "What the Hell kind of
stupid looking bird is that?"
"That's a Crunchy Bird," says bartender Bob.
The tough guy laughs and yells, "Crunchy Bird, my ass!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We
believe that everyone should be free to get out and explore the
world, even if they're on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
wheelchair at little to no cost*? It's true! There are no claim
forms to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
http://buffaloschips.com/hove
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hospital Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl walked up to the information desk in a hospital and asked to
see the "upturn".
"I think you mean the 'intern,' don't you?" asked the nurse on duty.
"Yes," said the girl. "I want to have a 'contamination.'"
"You mean 'examination,'" the nurse corrected her.
"Well I want to go to the 'fraternity ward,' anyway."
"I'm sure you mean the maternity ward."
To which the girl replied: "Upturn, intern; contamination,
examination;fraternity, maternity....what's the difference? All I
know is I haven't demonstrated in two months and I think I'm
stagnant."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to personally invite you to be a part of the most
comprehensive diabetes community on the web.
DiabeticConnect.com was designed by people who understand what it's
like to deal with the challenges of living with diabetes every day.
We've made it easy to:
Share recipes, advice, and product reviews
Read the latest diabetes news
Watch informative diabetes videos
Connect with new friends who understand diabetes
http://buffaloschips.com/dibcon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Email Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6
characters and add the first and last initial to either the
beginning
or end to make up an E-Mail address. For example, Mary L. Ferguson =
mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the
problems that may happen when you have a large and diverse pool of
people to choose from. Add to that a large database of
company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses.
Probably not funny to the individual involved, however: TOP TEN
Actual E-mail Addresses...Jokingly ===============================
10. Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) - eatonsht@dku.edu
9. Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) - cumminme@fu.edu
8. George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) -
blowmegd@dropdrawers.com
7. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) -
dickinme@iup.edu
6. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) -
kissinfk@lvu.edu
5. Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating) -
beeranbj@myplace.com
4. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) - aspicker@pu.edu
3. Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) - ibballin@bsu.edu
2. Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division,
Overton
Canada) - btkisser@bendover.com
1. Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) - ihadcock@tru.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Superfood Recipes For Diabetics
Are you a Diabetic, struggling with your diet? These Superfoods have
been specially selected to help you beat Diabetes.
Get Yours Now! - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's
address bar:
http://buffaloschips.com/sufood
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/ Love is the Music
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/loveandromance/LoveIsThe.html
John w/ Loving You
http://heavens-gates.com/elvis/lovingyou/
Carol w/Love's Desire
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol13.html
Ask Me If I Care About The Koran
http://www.eskimo.com/~dick/ask_me.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Missing Children by State
http://www.fugitivehunter.org/Statemissing.html
Check The Amount of Sugar in Foods Via Wesley
http://www.sugarstacks.com/
New Math - Funny Real Life Equations
http://tinyurl.com/dcgcve
Crio Circle Mystery
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mystery.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Bios Error Codes
http://www.bioscentral.com/
Free Printable Targets
http://tinyurl.com/n6aoc
Html-To-PDF-Converter
http://www.html-to-pdf-converter.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Real Eagle Story
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html
Christian The Lion
http://videos.komando.com/2008/06/26/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
To All Sports Loving Men This Guy Is a Genuis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6255.htm
Toilet Seat Sign
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6256.htm
Tom Mabe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6257.htm
Tomato PSA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6258.htm
Toot Tone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6259.htm
Topless Wife Training
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62510.htm
Swallowing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdsfsd.htm
Swimming
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gerg.htm
szambr
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hyth.htm
Telissa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfgytik.htm
Texan Gun Control Witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kijld.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mitzvah Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding
meets with their rabbi for counseling. The rabbi asks if they have
any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance
with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd
like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women
always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."
Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have
sex?"
"Of course!," replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah (good thing)
within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man?
"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Another mitzvah!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of
vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the rabbi.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"Could lead to dancing.!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cheating bitch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfkldl;sl.htm
cheerleader2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkljgg.htm
cheerleaders
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kbkcjvgklnhvg.htm
chess
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nmc,nbvcm,vkbncv.htm
cheese burger
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkhjfglkhfg.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Timeshares can be a huge drain during these
difficult economic times.
Get paid top dollar for your unused property today!
Rent or sell that cash cow today...
Our agents are helpful and friendly!
We give your time share maximum exposure..
http://buffaloschips.com/tshare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young schizophrenic named Struthers
When told of the death of his brother
Said, "Yes, it's too bad,
But I don't feel so sad
Remember, I still have each other."
There once was a chick on the net
Who decided to take a double dare bet
When she lifted her blouse
And clicked on her mouse
And found it was all soaking wet.
Said my Sally, out back of the shed,
"That's all of THIS, Johnny boy, 'till we're wed
'Cause what we just did
Could result in a kid,
And besides, I'd prefer it in bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Talk To Hot Women
I must admit, a woman is a mans best friend.
While I was in college, I did the typical guy thing.
Went to bars, and tried to hang out with chicks; but actually
talking to them was another story. When I was fortunate enough to
finally score, it was guaranteed embarrassment. Thats what brought
me to this site. Not knowing how to carry on a convo cant be the
most popular thing among them. Now that Ive tried how to talk 2 hot
women, actually talking is no longer my biggest worry. Will she be
able to handle this my monster confidence? Thats what I ask myself
now. Thank You ! Jeff, Phoenix, AZ
Visit site->
http://buffaloschips.com/hotwo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has
met a wonderful girl and is going to be married. He is sure she
will be happier since he knows his gay lifestyle has been very
disturbing to her.
She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I
suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?"
He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish but from a wealthy
Beverly Hills family.
She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her
name?"
He answers,"Monica Lewinsky".
There is a long pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that
nice Catholic boy you were dating last year?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's our Best BOGO offer yet!
Buy 250 Business Cards, Get 250 More FREE!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Choose which Business Cards is best for you.
Premium Business Cards
250 Start at $19.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $3.99 and Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Premium Business Cards for just $3.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Folded Business Cards
250 Start at $29.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $14.99 and Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Folded Business Cards for just $14.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Recycled Business Cards
250 Start at $34.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $17.50 and Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Recycled Business Cards for just $17.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
Vertical Business Cards
250 Start at $19.99
NOW - Buy 250 for $3.99 Get 250 more FREE!
That 500 Recycled Business Cards for just $3.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/busca
This sale is here today, gone tomorrow. Order now!
Dont delay. Get 2x the business cards today!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment