Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
First let's get back to where we were a few days ago.
Bill,
Speaking of cumshaw... my father was an Electrician's Mate (EM3) on
the USS Wharton during WWII. Because he knew how to use projection
equipment, he was also the ship's projectionist.
The Wharton was a troop transport running between San Francisco and
Honolulu, and occasionally farther. Going west, they had a shipload
full of soldiers and marines bound for combat zones. Going east,
they carried dependent families and some cargo, usually pineapple.
The ship's cooks were extremely inventive when it came to fixing
dishes with pineapple, and to his dying day, my father refused to
eat pineapple.
Anyhow, as a troop transport, the Wharton was not entitled to first
run movies, or even second run movies, for troop entertainment. They
were entitled to whatever was left after the aircraft carriers and
battleships got their movies. But my father was able to get first
run movies for the Wharton by doing some judicious horse-trading
(cumshaw) at Treasure Island and Pearl Harbor.
Larry Adams
The Corner Mailbox & More
American Canyon, CA
buffalo says Thank you all for your support of my sister and her
family over the past year. I will be meeting with Nancy's sons
shortly to go over the obituary and the plans for a memorial
service. Nancy has donated her body to MSU for cancer research so
burial won't come
till much later.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
CIGARCLIPS
Funny TV or Film clips taken from around the world
To join send a blank e-mail to cigarclips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Alien Chips
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One night, the waitress in a bar was a bit unsettled that a strange
looking man who sat quietly drinking at the bar always seemed to be
looking at her intently. Finally, he got up enough nerve to speak to
her.
"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I do hope you
don't mind my looking at you."
She told him she would rather he didn't look so hard and that she
didn't consider herself that special.
"Well, you see I am from a far away planet, sent here to observe
some things here and I have to go back tonight. So you see, I really
haven't seen anyone like you before. Please just let me look."
So she said ok, although she thought he was a little nuts. He did
mind his manners, didn't get drunk, and just sat quietly looking.
When it was time to close the bar, he prepared to leave, then walked
back to the waitress.
"I know this is strange, but would you please let me see your tits?
I've never seen anything like this and it would mean so very much to
me if I could go home and tell the guys all about you."
Since everyone but the owner had left and he was in the back room,
she finally gave in and unbuttoned her blouse and pulled her tits
out of her bra.
"Oh my goodness, that is wonderful! Thank you! Thank you! You don't
know how much this means to me!" When she started to gather her
clothes around her again, he asked shyly, "Please, please, let me
just touch your tits. It would mean so much to me to be able to tell
all the guys about how wonderful you are."
After a little consideration, she allowed him to touch. He was very
gentle and she was beginning to get stirred up by this alien. Then
he asked her if she would allow him to make love to her.
Since she was beginning to fancy that notion, she agreed right away.
To her surprise, however, he placed his right forefinger in the
middle of her forehead quite firmly. As he did so, she could see the
passion on his face and he called out, "Aah, ahh, aaaahhhhh."
Then he took his finger from her forehead. Astonished, she asked him
if he'd like to do it again.
Looking at his curled up forefinger, he replied, "Yes, but I'll have
to wait a little while."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date Chips
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Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy lives in
Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two
years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from
Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never
had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at
home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and
they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy
goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is
coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it
through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the
bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing
up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He
doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever
talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train
to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the
restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the
bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without
interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees. They
decide to get dessert. During dessert, our hero feels another
rumbling, but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom freak,
so he holds it. After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he
still has a bit of gas stored up. He decides to let this little bit
of gas fly right there at the table (discreetly, of course).
Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another little
surprise. "Oh crap," he thinks (and feels). Instead of running to
the bathroom right away, our hero immediately leans on the arms of
his chair to keep from sitting on this surprise. He maintains this
yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to figure out what to
do before his tan pants (a) start to smell, or (b) start to show
stains on the outside. He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the
restaurant. Oh, by the way, he is walking like a cowboy. On the way
to the train station, they pass the Gap. Do you mind if I run in and
buy a sweater that I was looking at last week?" he asks. "No
problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies. They go into the
Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on the right,
women's fashions are on the left. They split up. Our hero grabs the
first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis. After
selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit, he
brings both items to the register. His eyes are on his date (still
on the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see
him buying the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says
through clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40
feet away) "Just the pants." "What?" asks the Gap girl. "Just the
pants!" (Eyes still trained on his date.) Gap girl: "Oh, OK." He
pays for the pants and walks over to his date; then they leave the
store. They board the train just before it leaves the station and
find two seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our
hero excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the
car. He gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips
off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws
them out the window. After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap
bag and pulls out...just the sweater.
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Short Chips
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A guy and his wife were in bed one night. The guy was reading a
book.
The wife, wanting to make love said,
"Is that book so good you can't put it down or am I so bad you can't
get it up?"
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench complaining about their
husbands. "My husband's losing his mind," one lady said. "Last week
he went out and spent $400 for a waterbed."
"That sounds exciting," the other lady said.
"Exciting, hell," the first old lady said. "The way my husband's
thing has been reacting the last few years, that waterbed might as
well be the Dead Sea."
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the
phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face
brightened.
When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the
good news.
"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, Ma, why bring that up at a time
like this?"
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Blonde Chips
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Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.
A3: Because they are easier to find in the dark.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going
to work or coming home.
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.
Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A: To keep their legs together.
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
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Sex Chips
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Yossel the Hassid is in London on business. It's now one hour to
shabbos and he's all dressed up in his shabbos clothes ready to go
to
a local shul. He takes the lift to the ground floor and walks
towards
the exit, as he reaches the reception area he sees a stunning
British
Airways hostess with blond hair and a face and figure you could die
for.
She has just checked in. As soon as she sees Yossel, she stops in
her
tracks and walks quickly over to him.
"Hello," she says to him.
"Hello to you too," he says.
"I have a confession to make," she says.
"What is it?" he asks.
"I have a sexual fantasy," she says.
"Nu, so go on," he says.
"I've always wanted to be with a Hassidic man. I want to run my
hands
up and down his white silk socks, run my hands over his tzitzis and
my
fingers through his beard, play with his peyess, eat kichel with
him,
poke my finger in his puppik, remove his gatkes, play with his
shlong
and then shtup. So I want you to join me now. I have a room upstairs
just waiting for us. What do you say?"
Yossel looks at her thoughtfully and says, "And what's in it for
me?"
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Memories
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/B/M_Ag.html
Love Of Child
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/loveofchild.htm
Marlene/The Basket
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Dawn Of Autumn Via Juanita
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Diabetic Recipes
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Just Thinking
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Movie Links
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Recession
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Red State Update
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Singing Monkey
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Uncontrollable Sexual Urges
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What
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Canard
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Candid Camera Russian Style
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Carrier Landing
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Cat
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Cat Bird
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Twin Chips
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A guy starts talking to two women in a bar. They turn out
to be Siamese twins and they wind up back at his apartment.
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other.
He thinks the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her
what she'd like to do.
She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love to play your
trombone."
So she plays it while he makes love to her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past his apartment
building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy."
The other girl says, "Gee... do you think he'll remember us?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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Faking It
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Tin Can Phone
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Crowded Beach
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Doggie Kisses
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Going To Sleep
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It Fits
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Osama Chips
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The list of top 10 'famous last words' by Bin Laden
10. "Say Omar, is that a vulture in the sky or is that a B-2?"
9. "Okay men we have spotted some navy seals just over the ridge,
let's show them how arabs fight."
8. "It is perfectly safe to hid here in these caves with the
missles, ammo and petro. The americans have nothing that can
penetrate this cave."
7. "Omar I am tired of hiding in this cave I will just stick my head
out for a minute to see if the coast is clear."
6. "Simple Rasheed, I will simply bribe the american devils with my
money and they will not kill us."
5. "Americans are soft, if we surrender, they must send us to
america for a trial."
4. "It was nice of the americans to drop food to us. I wonder why we
have these t-shirts with the target on them."
3. "Hey american pig, I double dare you to drop that nuke."
2. "I will go and check and see what that wop wop wop noise is
outside."
and the number one famous last words:
1. "What do you mean Omar by saying I have a red lazer dot on my
forehead?"
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the
docks once more for old time's sake.
He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it
as best as he can for a guy his age.
The old sailor asks, "How am I doing?"
The prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three
knots."
"Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?"
She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting
your money back."
Randy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1880
The Irish Are Coming!
Katie has changed and is wearing a kilt, tam,
and a scarf with the Cassady colors. She even
has a sporin (a pouch).
Sandi has a similar outfit as does Diana.
BJ as this is his first event doe not have any
such items and wears a "Kiss me I am Irish"
T-Shirt.
Rudy and Val are wearing "Sniff me I am
Irish" shirts.
The event is being help at McPherson Kansas
there are Scottish games.
Sandi: Why are those guys carrying around
telephone poles?
Diana: It is one of the games. They are seeing
who can throw it the furtherest. They are not
telephone poles, they are just logs.
Rudy: Big dudes.
Suddenly Rudy's eyes get huge....his ears perk
up...he straightens up..
Rudy: Listen to that. It is beautiful.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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