THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Justice, being violated, destroys;
justice, being preserved, preserves:
therefore justice must not be violated,
lest violated justice destroy us.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I met this guy and he has
a motto he lives by every day. He said,
"Listen carefully and live by these 4 rules:
Drink, Steal, Swear and Lie."
I was shaking my head 'no,' but he then told me to
listen while he explained his four rules. Here they are:
1.. "Drink" from the "everlasting cup" every day.
2.. "Steal" a moment to help someone that
is in worse shape than you are.
3.. "Swear" that you will be a better person today than yesterday.
4. And last, but not least, when you "lie" down at night,
Thank God you live in America and have freedom.
I am not as good as I should be.
I am not as good as I could be.
But THANK GOD
I am better than I used to be!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
I'm Carla
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n061.html
forgot my pillow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n062.html
a plumbing problem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n063.html
effective birthcontrol
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n064.html
food sucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n065.html
E.T.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n066.html
Wile E Cyote
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n067.html
are u wearing it?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n068.html
food sucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n069.html
the atm robbers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n070.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
doing the wash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/115.html
Ray Stevens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/116.html
Cat Parkour
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/117.html
sexy lady
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/118.html
buying a new car?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/119.html
laughing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/120.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
hello my friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd377.html
nature
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd378.html
art
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd379.html
There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink
when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me,
grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig."Well,
whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I
burst into tears."Come on, man," the biker says, "I
didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete
failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been
stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet
in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with
the gardener, and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end
to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here
watching the arsenic dissolve. Then some jack-ass shows
up and drinks the whole thing!
But enough about me, how's your day going?"
____________
Two goobers were digging a ditch on a very hot day.
One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole
digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in
the shade of a tree?"
"I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."
He climbed out of the hole and went to his boss.
"Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're
standing in the shade?"
"Intelligence," the boss said.
"What do you mean, 'intelligence?'"
The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand
on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist
as hard as you can."
The goober took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss'
hand. At the last second the boss removed his hand and the
goober hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!"
The goober went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?"
"He said we are down here because of intelligence."
"What's intelligence?" said the friend.
The goober put his hand on his face and said,
"Take your shovel and hit my hand."
_______________
A blonde was shopping at K-Mart and came across a
shiny silver thermos.She was quite fascinated by it,
so she picked it up and took it over to
the clerk to ask what it was.The clerk said, "Why,
that's a thermos....it keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold.""Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing
....I'm going to buy it!"So she bought the thermos and took
it to work the next day.Her boss, who was also blonde,
saw it on her desk. "What's that?" she asked. "Why, that's
a thermos... it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold," she replied."Wow, that's amazing," said the boss,
"what do you have in it?"
"Two popsicles and some coffee."
______________
The Asshole Bill of Rights As an ASSHOLE,
I proclaim the following:
#1 I will live my life the way I deem fit, screw political
correctness.
#3 If I want to eat a cow, I will eat a cow.
#4 I have the right to hang up on telemarketers
midsentence and not have to worry about whether or not I was polite.
#5 If I think someone's an idiot, I will tell them they're an idiot.
#6 I have the right to tell children that their parents aren't
raising them correctly. (Think of how many times you've been at a
supermarket and heard a screaming child the entire time...what
exactly would you want to say that'd be any nicer?)
#7 If you don't know what you're talking about, shut the hell up.
#8 You may have the right to speak, but I don't have to listen to you.
#9 If I want to be rude, loud, and obnoxious, it's a free country.
#10 If I want to go to a bar, destroy my liver with alcohol, clog my
arteries with junk , and have unsafe sex with the woman/man I just
met, I ought to be able to smoke while I'm at it.
#11 I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can go to Jenny Craig.
#12 Jerry Springer for President!!!!!!!
__________
Pinocchio is all grown up, and has moved out.
One day, he meets Gepetto in a bar, and starts confiding in him.
"Whenever I'm having sex with a girl, she complains about
splinters," Pinocchio says. Gepetto looks all wise, and tells
him that whenever he feels 'lucky', he should rub sandpaper on his penis.
Happy, Pinocchio says he'll try it.
A few weeks later, Gepetto spots Pinocchio walking down the street.
He stops him, and asks how its going with the girls,
To which Pinocchio replies,
"Hey, who needs girls?"
___________
Three Swedish men visited Copenhagen and decided to go to a bordello.
They knocked on the door and the Madame opened. "What do you want?"
"We want to come in. We are Swedish."
"How much money are you willing to spend here?"
"We have altogether 250 crones."
"250 crones! For that price you can screw each other!"
After saying this the Madame slammed the door shut.
About 15 minutes later, the same three Swedish guys knocked
on the door again. "Well, what do you want now?"
"Where do we pay?"
___________
Buffalo Bill
Max Porta Potty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gssshdj.htm
McDogo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gasew.htm
McElway Basketball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gahdjjs.htm
Men Can't Multitask
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsashsjs.htm
______________
Fun Pages
Fishdom: Frosty Splash
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41718&s=n
Crazy Flasher 3
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41919&s=n
Demolition Bobcat
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=37186&s=n
Blonde Secretary
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20496&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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