Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I stopped at the Credit Union yesterday to get money out for
gas for the weekend and all 3 drive-thrus were full but I picked
one and got in line. I usually don't have much luck as I've
mentioned before and usually end up in thee slowest lane but
about a minute later I see the carrier coming come down the
tube. I started the Jimmy but the lady sent the tube back into
the bank. I could hear the conversation and she had sent two
checks for her children and wanted the money back in quarters.
The stations have big signs that say no coins because a load
of change will destroy the carrier when it makes a sudden stop.
The teller told her that she couldn't send change that way so
the woman asked her for two rolls of quarters instead. The
teller told her no coins again and I figured she was probably
going to ask for dimes next but she must have finally caught
on because she asked for dollars instead. Oh and the woman
wasn't a blonde but that doesn't mean anything because they can
dye their hair and catch you by surprise heh heh.
I have been spending a lot of time with Nancy and the family at the
hospice. She has stopped eating and drinking so it probably won't
be much longer at least she isn't in pain.
Enjoy the chips and have a great weekend.... buffalo
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It is early Saturday morning, and Mother Superior of Saint Mary
Margaret Convent in County Clare hears a knocking at the door. She
opens it, looks around and there is no one there.
She is about to shut the door when a tiny voice says, "Down here,
Mother Superior".
She looks down and there are two of the little people in their
bright kelly green outfits, red beards and little hats with a clover
in each.
One is really drunk out of his skull and the other is not much
better off. He tips his hat and says, "Top o'the mornin to ye,
Mother Superior. Me guid friend Liam here would like to be knowin'
if ye have any leprechaun nuns in the convent"?
"No, we don't have any little people in our convent", she replies.
Liam grunts a few words in Pat's ear, to which he then says to
Mother Superior, "Well, are there any leprechaun nuns in the local
parish"?
Again she replies, "No, there are no leprechaun nuns in the parish".
Liam again grunts something in Pat's ear. "Well, can ye be tellin'
me, Mother Superior, does the Cathlic Church have any leprechaun
nuns at all?"
"No", she replies. "The church doesn't accept little people into any
religious order".
Pat turns to Liam and says, "D'ye see now Liam? That was a penguin
ye fucked in the bar last night".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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Mike picked up an attractive woman, named Linda, who flagged down
his car in a seedy part of town. As they rode, he asked her what
she did for a living. Linda winked at Mike and said, "I'm a
magician." "No way," Mike scoffed. 'Prove it." So Linda touched him
on the thigh, and "Poof" Mike turned into a hotel.
Branch Davidians do it with fire A trumpeter is hired to play two
solos in a movie. After the sessions he is paid handsomely and
promised by the director that he will be notified when the movie is
released to the public. Three months later, he receives a notice
that the movie will make its debut in Times Square at a porno house.
The musician enters the theatre wearing a dark raincoat and shades.
Unaccustomed to porno flicks, he sits in the last row next to an
elderly couple. The film has explicit sex scenes: oral intercourse,
anal intercourse, golden showers, sado-masochism and near the end a
dog has intercourse with the leading female character. The musician
who is immensely embarrassed turns to the elderly couple and
whispers, "I wrote the score and I just came to hear the music", to
which the elderly woman whispers in reply, "We just came to see our
dog."
The doctor was surprised to find old Mr. Jones sitting on the bed
holding up his middle finger and sticking out his tongue. He walked
over to the nurse who was taking his vitals. "Excuse me," said the
doctor, "but why is Mr. Jones sitting like that?" The nurse
replied, "I told him that you were going to want to examine his
sexual organs."
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Short Chips
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One night, a horny old geezer decides to get himself a hooker. Since
the man doesn't have much money, he looks for the cheapest whore in
the nearest Red Light District. A short while later, he finds what
he's looking for and spends $10 for oral sex and intercourse. The
next morning the old geezer wakes up and discovers he has crabs. So,
he gets dressed and heads down to where he had been the night
before. He notices the same hooker on the street corner, so he
marches over to her and says, "Hey, lady, you gave me crabs!" The
hooker replies, "Hey, old man, what did you expect for $10?
Lobster?"
~~~~~~~
A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The
farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm
animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He
managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing
anything about animals, the boy didn't know what he'd killed so he
ran to the farmhouse and described his kill to the farmer. "It had
two saggy tits, a beard, a hard head and it stunk like hell!" said
the boy. "Oh, shit!" said the farmer. "You've shot the wife!"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, Morris stood on the first tee
at his country club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young
woman in a wedding gown came running up to him, crying.
"You bastard!" she screamed in his face. "You lousy no-good rotten
damn stinking bastard!"
"What's your problem Sherry ?" he calmly replied. "I distinctly told
you only if it rained."
~~~
A tourist from France goes on his first overseas trip. Upon
arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application.
The border official looks over his shoulder, and sees the tourist
trying to write, 'Twice a week' into the small space labeled, 'SEX'.
The official explains, "No, no, no. That is not what we mean
by this question. We want to know either 'Male' or 'Female'."
"Doesn't matter," the tourist answers.
~~
I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still existed in 2001. A
dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said
"General Store," and that was it.
There was a little old man sitting in front of the store in a
rocking chair. I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?"
He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' fuck."
I said, "What do you hunt?"
He said, "Somethin' to fuck."
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Indian Chips
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There's this Indian walking home from a long night of hard partying
in the hot morning sun when he finds a cowboy hat on the side of the
road. He picks it up and looks at it and thinks "Niceum hat" and
puts it on and keeps walking.
Before long a crew truck full of cowboys pulls up and
asks... Hey injun you want a ride? The Indian says "Yes..
Me takeum ride" and gets in the truck.
They take off down the road and one of the cowboys says
"Hey Indian..You want a beer?" The Indian says" Yes..
Meum Like beer" and starts drinking it. Another cowboy
lights up a joint and says "Hey Indian.. You smoke
weed?" The Indian says "Yes... Meum like weed" and has
a few tokes.
Another cowboy in the back of the truck stands up and
unzips his pants and says "Hey Indian.. come here and
suck my dick!"
The Indian looks up and says "Oh, Me not real cowboy,
just findum hat on road!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Believe
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/A/Be.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
John w/ A Trip Down memory Lane
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Sweet Little Pad
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Rent that closet or garage or carport or
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Halloween Wallpapers
http://www.kate.net/holidays/halloween/
FireFox Security Center
http://www.mozilla.org/security/
Notes on using Notepad
http://www.nvcc.edu/home/mhamill/ITD-110/Notepad.htm
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
Orang-Utan Hospital
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Movie Links
Olympic 1
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Olympic 2
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Onzin
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Alien Fishing For Humans
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Baby Girl On Jay Leno Show
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The call girl confided to her friend, "I'm afraid I'm going to have
to give up analysis."
"But why? Isn't Dr. Greene helping you?"
"Yes, a lot," the call girl agreed. "Problem is, I just can't get
used to lying down for a guy and then having him give me the bill."
~~
A typical family of hillbillies, Paw , Maw , Jethro and little
Sally. One day, Jethro asked, "Paw, what is Sex?" Paw says, "Since
you are a big boy I will show you." Paw hollers, "Maw get yourself
in here!" Paw then says,"Maw, take your clothes off and get on the
bed. Now spread your legs. "Paw says,"Jethro see that thar little
hole? Now watch this!" In the midst of Paw's demonstration Little
Sally comes in and exclaims, "What is going on? "Jethro answers,
"Paw is teaching me about sex. "Little Sally asks, "What is Sex?
"Jethro replies, "See that little hole on Paw? Now watch this!"
~~~~~~
Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a
beautiful young blonde woman passes them. She's 5'10",
120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines. The
first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a
breathless whisper says, "It's women like her that sometimes make me
wish I was a Lesbian!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Huge Dick
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Free To Good Home
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Denmark News
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Dont Point
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In marriage there's often a glitch,
When you find out you married a bitch,
She once was quite nice,
All sugar and spice,
Now she's an evil old witch
________________________________
Hickory Dickory dock
Some slut was suckin my cock
Her hair got tangled
The bitch was strangled
But at least she swallowed the lot!!!!
________________________________
An astronomer slept in the sun,
Then woke with his fly quite undone.
He remarked, with a smile,
"Hoorah! A sundial!
And it's now a quarter past one."
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These two guys had both just got divorced and they swore they would
never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends
and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go
and never look at a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, "Give
us enough supplies to last two men for one year."
The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies
he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys asked "What's that board for?"
The trader said, "Well, where you're going there are no women and
you might need this."
They said, "No way! We've sworn off women for life! Women are
nothing but trouble."
The trader said, "Well, take the boards with you, and if you don't
use them I'll refund your money next year.
"Okay," they said and left.
The following year this guy came into the trader's store and said
"Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year."
The trader said "Weren't you in here last year with a partner?"
"Yeah" said the guy.
"Where is he?" asked the trader.
"I shot him." said the guy.
"Why?"
"I caught him in bed with my board!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1877
Rudy and the Car
In Oklahoma.. Diana has left for church early (for the farewell
gathering). BJ is at home. BJ has let the dogs out to do their
business and is loading up the car when Rudy decides to climb in the
car and get in the passenger seat.
BJ: What are you doing?
Rudy with his fedora on, cigar in mouth, rose-colored sunglasses on
and a map in his lap: I am ready to go Pops.
BJ: You have the map upside down.
Rudy: Hey a guy can't be perfect.
BJ: I am not going anywhere for a while and it is too hot for you
to be in the car.
Rudy: Turn on the A/C and crank on the tunes pop and
I will be fine. Well you might get me a burger while you are
running around.
BJ: I am getting ready for church Rutherford.
Rudy: Whatever.
BJ goes into the house to get a leash to get Rudy. When he comes
back to the car, Val is in the car with Rudy. She is making car
noises.
Val: Vroom Vroom!
BJ: Okay Val out of the car.
Val: Okay daddy-O.
and Val lightly jumps down..
Then Rudy gently climbs out...
Rudy: No need to resort to skullduggery. I am getting out.
BJ: Okay guys back in the house.
Grumble grumble
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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