Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva was sitting beside me at her computer playing some kind of
dress up game on games for girls and suddenly she decided she
was going to style my hair. She crawled across to my desk chair
and was standing on the arms of my chair behind me brushing my
hair. I use the term loosely because she has a habit of hitting you
in the head with the bristles which just aerates the dandruff at
best.
After a couple of good whacks with the brush I told her I needed a
band-aid because she had broke my hair. She said, " Let me look
at it." After staring at it for a second, she says, " Oh my God,
you're
dead." I was hoping that if her plans to replace Lady GaGa fell
through
she could become a cosmetologist but with that attitude the only
place that would have her is the local morgue and you can tell the
customers there anything you want.
Hope your weekend is warmer than here, enjoy the chips...buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FOSAMAX LEGAL CLAIM CENTER
Did you know that the use of Fosamax has been linked to serious
injuries including bone fractures?
If you or a loved one have used this product and experienced adverse
effects, you may be eligible for compensation.
Follow here and get a Free Private Case Evaluation:
http://buffaloschips.com/fosam
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orgasm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not, is something
the majority of men would rather not question in case
they discovered that she has been all along, and that
they are not in fact the stud they thought women go
wild for, but rather a pathetic creature with a
problem, who needs to be patronized.
For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but would still
like to know, there is a simple checklist to help you.
1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the
moment it sounds as though she is about to have an
orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she has been
reading. If she says "Oh, I was reading that", then
she was faking it.
2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune, or sound like
a familiar song, then she can't be concentrating enough on the job
at hand, and must therefore be faking it. Or else she really likes
the song playing on her personal stereo.
3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is: stop at
random and record her response. If every time you stop she says
"Mmmmmmm you were wonderful", then she is faking it. If she says
"Don't stop", then she isn't. However, if she says "Don't stop"
hours after lovemaking has finished, it is possible that she may
have fallen asleep, and missed most of the excitement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
who died
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n048.html
a condom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n049.html
just browsing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n050.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down
waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one
of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought
to herself "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me." She
went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card
that said, "You're a nun you weigh 128lbs and you are going to
Chicago, Illinois." She sat back down and thought about it. She
told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided
to try it again. She went back to the machine and put her nickel
in. Out came a card read, "You're a nun, you weigh 128lbs you're
going to Chicago, Illinois and you are going to play a fiddle." The
nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong, I have never played a
musical instrument a day in my life." She sat back down.
From nowhere a Cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to
her. The nun picked up the fiddle and just started playing
beautiful music. Startled, she looked back at the machine and said,
"This is incredible. I've got to try it again."
Back to the machine. She put her nickel in and another card came
out. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128lbs, you're going to
Chicago, Illinois and you're going to break wind. Now, the nun
knows the machine is wrong; "I've never broke wind in public a day
in my life!"
Well, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind. Stunned, she
sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, "This
is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it again." She went back to
the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said,
"You're a nun, you weigh 128lbs, you have fiddled and farrted around
and missed your flight to Chicago!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TASSIMO
Direct Delivery Service
Get the Amazing Tassimo Home Brewing System ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Just purchase our Together is Better Assortment Pack plus 2
additional packags of your own favorite T Discs.
-One touch of a button, your favorite coffee, cappuccino, latte, hot
chocolate or tea in a minute.
-The only "Smart" home brewing system that customizes each and every
brew in order.
-All of the world's most famous brands delivered to your home.
TOGETHER IS BETTER!
LEARN MORE TODAY!
http://buffaloschips.com/tass
TASSIMO
Direct Delivery Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boob Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boobs!
The public is in titillated awe after hearing news of the advances
in cloning technology. But the variety and multitude of
applications of this exciting new technology continue to grow
unabated. Only a short while ago, it was announced that the cloning
process had been used to duplicate a sheep's liver, only one small
part of a larger organism. Scientists prognosticate that these types
of applications will likely lead to the ability to clone human
organs and body parts, as well.
Though at first blush the primary value of this type of cloning
appears to be the potential to offer replacements to people with
defective organs, I think you will agree with me that this
technology can serve a much more noble purpose.
Specifically, the cloning of boobs!
Not only will there be no more need to negotiate with the biological
boob owner for use of the boob, there will also be no limit of two
boobs per negotiation. Cost permitting, one can own as many as one
wishes and fellow owners may wish to collect and trade their boobs.
In light of this valuable procedure, I have some suggestions for the
uses of these new test tube boobs.
Paperweight
Forget "koosh balls" and other malleable executive stress relieving
devices; nothing imparts healing power like a squeezed boob.
Christmas tree ornaments.
Throw pillows -- nothing spruces up your tired old apartment like a
few carefully placed boobs.
Centerpiece -- a nice boob arrangement in a bowl or basket
is suitable for those special dinner parties.
(Tip: Tanning a boob or two can produce a nice contrast of colors.)
Forget pacifiers.
In sufficient numbers, boobs can replace your waterbed mattress.
Chill your boobs and then apply topically to reduce swelling.
Heated boobs are a vast improvement on the water bottle concept.
Crack your friends up. For big laughs, use boobs as replacements
for croquet balls, badminton shuttlecocks or pool balls.
Place a boob, nipple side up, in your window. Makes a great
thermometer!
Bless scientists everywhere. Thanks for the mammaries!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why Do You NEED a Fridge Locker?
Because we all know the feeling... You're hungry for the
delicious snack and the refreshing beverage that are waiting for you
in the fridge. But when you open the door the shelves are empty...
Keep your Food Safe from "Refrig-A Raiders" at Home, Dorm or
the Office with the Original Personal Food Security System,
The Fridge Locker.
http://buffaloschips.com/frlock
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rejection Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)
6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's me..
(You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly.)
2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by men
1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kick your cookouts up a notch with the Grill Glove! The Grill Glove
resists temperatures up to 500F with built-in flame detection
technology. The five finger design is perfect for easy flipping on
any grill.
Order the Grill Glove today for only $14.99 + S&H and as a bonus,
well give you a SECOND Grill Glove absolutely FREE! Plus for
handling hot pans & dishes were going to include the Lava Mitt for
FREE!
Order today - limited time offer!
http://buffaloschips.com/grglov
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Period Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE TOP 15 EUPHEMISMS FOR "GETTING YOUR PERIOD"
15. Miss Scarlett's Come Home to Tara
14. Trolling for Vampires
13. A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy
12. Saddling Old Rusty
11. Feelin' Menstru-riffic!
10. Clean-Up in Aisle One
9. Massacre at the Y
8. T-Minus 9 Months and Holding
7. Game Day for the Crimson Tide
6. Panty Shields Up, Captain!
5. Taking Carrie to the Prom
4. Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band
3. Ordering l'Omelette Rouge
2. Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp
1. Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We
believe that everyone should be free to get out and explore the
world, even if they're on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
wheelchair at little to no cost*? It's true! There are no claim
forms to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
http://buffaloschips.com/hove
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A New Recipe from John
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Chef/D.html
"I Testify"
http://www.poetryinfocus.com/Poetry/Poem037.html
carolyn w/ There's Always Me ~ Elvis Presley
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/theresalwaysme.html
God's Water Paintings
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/water.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Too Cute Not to share... Via Peggy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNvmAw2Tp5c
Map Test
http://jimspages.com/States.htm
8000 Drinks
http://www.mixeddrinkrecipes.net/
Stories that go bump in the night...
http://www.countessbloodshalloweenhorror.com/stories/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Internet Archive
http://www.archive.org/index.php
Back To Writing
http://tinyurl.com/5pdchr
Pixel2Life - Photoshop Tutorials
http://www.pixel2life.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://puppydogweb.com/gallery/
Kitty Korner
Baby Squirrel Finnegan
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/finnegan.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Hard at the Beach
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aaswe.htm
Harley Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfrg.htm
Harsh Laws
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfref.htm
Herbal Elements For Men
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgth.htm
Hilary Campaign
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfrhhef.htm
Get out of my bed cat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0106.htm
GGG music video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0107.htm
Girls scout cookie money
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0108.htm
Girl Vs desert Eagle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuki.htm
Global Warming and the Classroom
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjiuk.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sound Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were three brothers who bought a three story house. The eldest
brother had the top floor, the middle had the middle floor, and the
youngest got the bottom floor.
A little while after they moved in, the eldest brother brought over
his girlfriend. During that night, the two younger brothers heard
the following
sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.
The next morning, the younger brothers asked their brother what the
noise they'd heard last night was.
He replied, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room.
Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
The middle brother was excited by that, so he brought over his
girlfriend the next night.
During that night, the two other brothers heard the following
sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.
The eldest and youngest asked him what the noise in his room last
night was. He replied, "Click- turned off the light. Swish-ran
across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
Now, the youngest brother was really excited. So he brought over his
girlfriend, and that night, the older brothers heard the following
sounds: Click, swish, fftt, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
In the morning, the older brothers asked him what the noise in his
room was.
So, he said, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room.
Fftt-farted, and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-landed on the bedpost!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Air Bag
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0ijdfl.htm
Air Bags
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ijrf302.htm
Airline Food
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jf234f.htm
Airport Security
http://www.buffaloschips.com/oltijhg.htm
Began with routine pat down
http://www.buffaloschips.com/3k4ihjt.htm
Air Safety
http://www.buffaloschips.com/3i4jo03.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never Search for a sharp knife again
The YoshiBlade is made from diamond hard Zirconium Oxide, which is
40% stronger than steel.
This new ceramic knife is guaranteed to stay sharp for life. This
will be the last knife you will
ever need to buy.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/yobl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
But he hadn't the knack,
And he got too far back --
In the right church, but in the wrong pew.
There once was a preacher's daughter
Who resented the pony he bought her
Till she found that it's dong
Was as hard and as long
As the prayers her father had taught her.
I make cherry preserves, quite a few,
And do a French dance step or two.
I put up my jams,
My skirt and my gams.
I can can and can cancan. Can you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Superfood Recipes For Diabetics
Are you a Diabetic, struggling with your diet? These Superfoods have
been specially selected to help you beat Diabetes.
Get Yours Now! - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's
address bar:
http://buffaloschips.com/sufood
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a
malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, Pepsi Company sent a
rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew
anything about the crash.
The Chief said, "Yeah." When asked where the crew was, the Chief
replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew
were shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief
replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi"
Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The Chief said, "We
ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."
After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did
you.. you know...eat their...'things'??" The chief says, "No."
"No?" asked the rescuer.
"No," replied the Chief, "THINGS go better with Coke."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to personally invite you to be a part of the most
comprehensive diabetes community on the web.
DiabeticConnect.com was designed by people who understand what it's
like to deal with the challenges of living with diabetes every day.
We've made it easy to:
Share recipes, advice, and product reviews
Read the latest diabetes news
Watch informative diabetes videos
Connect with new friends who understand diabetes
http://buffaloschips.com/dibcon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1873
Home on the Ranger
BJ: Great news Katie!
Katie: What is it father?
BJ: We do not have to go to Caldwell this weekend.
Caldwell is coming to us so to speak. Diana, Sandi, Rudy
and Val are coming here for a few days.
Katie looking none to happy: Oh whoopie.
BJ: Come on Katie, we do not have to drive an hour and a
half there and an hour and a half back.
Katie: But I will have to share you father.
BJ: If we went to Caldwell you would have to share me
anyway. Here you can run outside.
Katie looking a bit better: True and we have the king-sized bed. I
guess I can handle it.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
1 comment:
This is not an advertisment or spam of any kind. I would like to discuss something of a business matter. please email me at
jfern@johnferndesign.com
thank you for your time.
Post a Comment