THE POSTMAN'S CORNER YOU CANNOT LEGISLATE THE POOR INTO FREEDOM BY LEGISLATING THE WEALTHY OUT OF FREEDOM. WHAT ONE PERSON RECEIVES WITHOUT WORKING FOR, ANOTHER PERSON MUST WORK FOR WITHOUT RECEIVING Dr. Adrian Rogers  Where ever someone lives, and whether they are seeking someone to hang out with or someone to share their life with, EliteMate has millions of interesting, hip, attractive, single men and women to choose from. EliteMate succeeds at adding immense variety to peoples' social lives while greatly increasing their chances of a quality match. While some sites may have some of the features EliteMate offers, no other dating service has all the features EliteMate offers. We are your link to all the hottest, hippest singles events in nightclubs, bars, restaurants, and other venues worldwide. If you want to experience profound personal growth and unlimited excitement in your life, just get into a EliteMate relationship. Set up a free profile. no credit card required http://www.thepostm  Are you tired of this expensive habit? Do you want to improve your health and extend your life? Then STOP SMOKING, and do it in as little as 30 days with ZEROSMOKE!! For the last two years Zerosmoke has helped over 2 million people worldwide stop smoking. Now this product has been approved for sale in the US and is available for less than two cartons of cigarettes. No Pills, No Patches, No Potions... just results! http://www.thepostm  Diapers for a Year! Choose your favorite diaper brand and get a FREE $1000 Visa(R) Gift Card! Worried that your baby diapers and baby supplies are running a bit low? Now you can stop worrying! Stock up on baby diapers, baby supplies and accessories with your FREE $1000 Visa(R) Gift Card! Get yours today! http://www.thepostm GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS! To All My Democrat Friends: Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. To My Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I know this is a difficult Christmas with the economic crisis. And I do not often lend this page to support all kinds of different groups. But there is one thing I need to ask your help on. The USO is sponsoring a special program to get pre paid phone cards into the hands of our solidiers. If you can spare a few bux to help with this program, I'm sure the service men and their families will appreciate it.  Our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are thousands of miles from home: lonely, exhausted, aching to hear the sound of a loved one's voice. Your gift now can help the USO send thousands of prepaid phone cards overseas, so that husbands, wives, and sweethearts Moms, Dads, and their kids can share a few precious moments for free. http://thepostmansc We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS Santa ran out of presents http://www.thepostm While Santa is gone http://www.thepostm know what I hate? http://www.thepostm three kings http://www.thepostm the problem with jogging http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES busted over beer http://www.thepostm Aussie jingle bells http://www.thepostm the super hound http://www.thepostm arguing over beer http://www.thepostm holding hands http://www.thepostm love your tits http://www.thepostm Iraqi wedding http://www.thepostm a christmas song-wav file http://www.thepostm name that movie http://www.thepostm the benefits of a real Christmas tree http://www.thepostm Christmas sprouts http://www.thepostm habits that make you fat http://www.thepostm Credit crunch Christmas http://www.thepostm A country boy can survive http://www.thepostm Christmas with a capital C http://www.thepostm Christmas tea http://www.thepostm It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end... a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him..." she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean... who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded this time. "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't. "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this..." CLICK ____________ Little Johnny kept asking his mother about his father. Where was he? Little Johnny's mother finally told him, "Your father was hanged 8 years ago for killing some people." The next day at school the teacher asked what their father was noted for. The children responded, "He is a doctor, a priest, a teacher, etc." When it came to little Johnnie, the teacher hesitated but finally asked him what was his father noted for. Little Johnny, thought and then finally stood up and said, "My father was well hung!" ____________ Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in." Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shot-put." He opens his gym bag to display a shot-put to the registration attendant. The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information. The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin." The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!" The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus." The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself." The third guy, a simpleton from the hills of Vermont, walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Foster Bean. Vermont. Fencing." ____________ Sudoku Sunrise http://www.funpagee Deodorant Commercial Accurate http://www.funpagee Full Moon Christmas http://www.funpagee The Lord Works In Hilarious Ways http://www.funpagee Hook, Line and Sticker http://www.funpagee New Economy Stimulus Package http://www.funpagee Joan had invited her younger sister, Nancy, to leave her country home and come to the city for a weekend to see how the urban half lived. She also arranged for a friend of hers named Bill to take Nancy out for a night on the town. After a pleasant dinner and a show, Bill and Nancy went to Bill's apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened to soft music for a pleasant interlude; then Bill suggested they retire to the bedroom. "Oh, no," Nancy protested. "I don't think my sister would like it." "Nonsense," said Bill, as he gently took her arm. "She loves it." ____________ A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "you'd be his wife!" ____________ Maury and Pauly were at the bar again. "Tell me, old pal, old pal," said Maury, "if you had five cars, would you give me one?" "You betcha," said Pauly. "And," continued Maury, "if you had five houses, would you give me one?" "Yes sir-ee bob," said Pauly, "I surely would." "And if you had five pairs of shoes," persisted Maury, "would you give me one?" "Of course," said Pauly. "And if you had five dollars, would you give me one?" "Nope," said Pauly. "Any why not?" asked Maury indignantly. "Because I HAVE five dollars." ____________ An irate motorist went to his Insurance office and demanded money because his car had been stolen. 'But," explained the insurance agent, "we do not give you money. We will replace the car with another." The man replied indignantly, "Well, if that's the way you do business, you can just cancel the policy on my wife." ____________ BUFFALO Bill Centrum Silver http://www.buffalos Chicks Playing Pool http://www.buffalos Freestyle With Footballs http://tinyurl. Men with Guns at Work http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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