THE POSTMAN'S CORNER where the world goes for its daily dose of humor! Martin aka "the postman"-editor Turk, aka "Carlos the rat"-assistant editor  FREE SCREENSAVER Remember the delight of Christmas Eve with this Night Before Christmas Screensaver. Snuggle up for a warm night next to the fireplace, as the snow falls outside. Watch as the Christmas tree twinkles and wait to open the presents below. http://www.thepostm  Want to tighten up that short game? Get your FREE set of Brand New Top Irons today! Choose between Ping(R) G10, NIKE(R) SUMO, or Callaway(R) X-20 Tour Irons! These top clubs will improve your feel and add precision to your game! Get your set of New Clubs, an $800 value, for FREE! http://www.thepostm  Get one free! Clean your teeth just like the professionals! Power Tooth Brush is equipped with two handles, three brush heads, brush head holder, travel case, two speeds and three brush head sizes! Act now and you'll receive the Sonicare tooth brush package FREE! Make your smile healthier and brighter today! http://www.thepostm I am dog sitting once again. Oldest daughter brought Turk, aka "Carlos the rat", over last night. Not exactly sure how long I will be assigned dog sitter duty. Daughter is busy this coming week as one of her two jobs is in retail and she says she works till midnite nearly every night this coming week. More snow falls and makes the roads worse once again. It was a major undertaking to dig out after yesterday. It is not easy for me with my breathing issues. My next door neighbor, Kevin, saw me and was kind enough to help out with his snow blower. The snow plow didn't go by until late in the afternoon, and there was four foot of snow holding them prisoner. I bought him a 12 pack of his favorite brew for his trouble. Son came home at five am and managed to bury his car in the process and I got up and helped him to get out. I did manage to get a special xmas gift for "the war department" even though I didn't get to the mall yesterday. She was watching tv and saw a commercial by Time Life for a music collection. It was "Love songs from the 70s" with 6 cds and 156 love songs. You could tell by her expression she wanted it. But I made noises about it being "too expensive" and it was. So she went to bed without saying a word, but after she was asleep, I called their 800 number, placed an order, and it is on the way! Obviously church is not an option this morning and me an "the war department" have nothing more important on the schedule than to bake Christmas cookies and work on the jigsaw puzzle. Of course, there will be those yummy sugar cookies with frosting. And then my favorite, pecan sandies. If you have never made them, they are absolutely wonderful. If you live in the north central part of the country, it is a good day to stay inside, play with the dog, drink hot chocolate, and read the Postman's Corner! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS what do you mean http://www.thepostm Frosty what happened http://www.thepostm embarrasing http://www.thepostm after a long period http://www.thepostm wouldn't you know it http://www.thepostm an important question http://www.thepostm I'm not tired http://www.thepostm too much eggnog http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES wee wee at the water park http://www.thepostm laying around all day http://www.thepostm the Budweiser horses are at it again http://www.thepostm 3 little pigs and the big bad wolf http://www.thepostm wild elephant http://www.thepostm O come all ye faithful http://www.thepostm I hate Christmas shopping http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF Norad tracks Santa http://www.thepostm POWER POINT DISPLAYS This is Christmas http://www.thepostm big girls don't cry http://www.thepostm A man was driving recklessly down the interstate one day and his girlfriend in the passenger seat was getting very upset. The man finally realized that she was not happy with his driving and said, "Baby I'm sorry for driving so recklessly; I should be more careful when I have precious cargo!" The girlfriend looked at him and said, "Oh, that's so sweet, baby!" Then the guy quickly corrected her, "No, no! I mean the golf clubs in the back!" ____________ Once a blonde kept having the same weird dream every day, so she went to her doctor. Doctor: What was your dream about? Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire! Doctor: Really... What was the scenery like? Blonde: I was running in a hallway. Doctor: Then what happened? Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I would always come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge! Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it? Blonde: Yes, it did. Doctor: And what did the letters spell? Blonde: It said, "P-U-L-L." ____________ The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?" "Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?" "Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed." ____________ Jesus H. Allah The Music Industry Killed the Radio Star http://www.funpagee Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys http://www.funpagee No Parole Model http://www.funpagee Nude Statues on Stage http://www.funpagee Table Soccer Skills Close The Facebook On This Case http://www.funpagee A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!" "Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast." The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes back home to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson. The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard." "What can I do?" asks the wife. "Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's erect penis." The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway. ... about 15 ft. ____________ Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, "Johnny. This is where you come from." Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd." ____________ A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary. On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants," whispered the pastor. "Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service." BUFFALO BILL Olympic Event http://www.buffalos Anal Retentive http://www.buffalos Advantage http://www.buffalos ____________ THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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