THE POSTMAN'S CORNER "You never know what enough of anything is, until you've had too much of it." Isaac Asimov, The Foundation Trilogy  Simply attach to any garden hose and you get the only portable scrubber in the world with the power of a water jet! Easily attach almost any home steam cleaner and now you have the muscle of the Scrub KingTM plus the power of steam to Power Clean, Degrease and Sanitize! Scrub King Features: * Clean, Scrub, Brush & Polish * Works Under Water * Has More Torque Than Any Other Scrubber * Nearly 300 Scrubs Per Minute http://www.thepostm  For the last 9 months this team of developers and marketers have been working full-time to create a system that does all of this FOR YOU: - Sells health products and tracks sales - Provides each new member with a website to do the same - Creates leads and educates each new lead about the business - Replicates and duplicates to create teams and growth - Provides FULL training to each new member of the team - Provides a lead-closing team - if required http://www.thepostm  PROCaulk is the only hassle-free way to apply silicone with no mess and a perfect finish every time or Your Money Back. Designed to apply and seal silicone, acrylic, caulk, and other compounds, ProCaulk is quick and easy to use, saving you time, money, and effort. PROCaulk TOOL WITH 4 EDGES IS: * Perfect for large sealing tasks * Perfect for small sealing tasks and grouting * Perfect for hard-to-reach places * Also comes with silicone remover tool http://www.thepostm  Getting Americans Debt Free - One Person at a Time Saves you thousands on your debt Debt is addressed on your terms Wipes out debt in 12-36 months Helps guide you in dealing with creditors Credit checks not required You and your debt are unique. Our service treats you that way. We design your debt-relief program and your savings plan to meet your goals and financial situation. You can reduce your debt effectively and quickly with our proven debt-consolidation alternative, often becoming debt free within 3 years or less. Thousands of people have eliminated their debts with our service. Our certified staff members are available anytime 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with answers to all of your debt questions. Take 30 seconds to fill out this form and be on your way to live a debt free life. http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! Daughter stopped by last night to retrieve Turk, aka Carlos the rat, and after 3 days, I am now officially relieved of "dog" (rat) sitting. As many of you dog owners might suspect, Turk is like a little kid, needing to keep your eye on him all the time, and demanding your attention constantly. Yesterday afternoon, we were sitting at the dining table putting a jigsaw puzzle together. He tired of sitting on my knee, so I put a blanket on the dining chair next to me, while he watched me patiently, well, mostly anyways. Once he learned that he could not eat the pieces he was ok. However, before long, he became incredibly animated and started barking uncontrollably. At first I couldn't understand what he was upset about, and then noticed he was looking out the window. There was a squirrel outside the window on the fence, and apparently this was something new to him as daughter lives in an apartment complex which doesn't have such things. So, we spent a few minutes watching the activity of the squirrel, who was oblivious to his barking and yelping. Eventually, he grew bored with that scene, jumped down, and then trotted into the living room. I went to peak to see what he was doing and he was sitting in my favorite chair, with his bone, looking up at me, his expression undoubtedly saying,"Aren' going to join me?" His favorite passtime is sitting on your lap in your chair with you while he devours his latest bone. So,the puzzle construction and the squirrel was placed on hold and I spent the rest of the afternoon in my favorite chair, snoozing and petting the dog. Btw...I got a note from my friend Lloyd who had a good suggestion. what do you think? "Every year when you buy your hunting license, you can also buy a duck stamp or a deer stamp that entitles you to shoot a limited number of those critters along with the usual upland game.Why not, every four years, issue a politician stamp? It would greatly increase the state's tax revenue and do a lot to eradicate vermin" Personally, I suggest adding a stamp for Osama bin Laden and all members of the Taliban. I suppose the state of Illinois may find a stamp for politicians most welcome at the moment, given their beef with Governor B. However, most likely, they would probably ignore and look the other way at any attempts at "poaching":) We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS Santa says http://www.thepostm plugged chimney http://www.thepostm could be hot http://www.thepostm what she wants for christmas http://www.thepostm cannot be displayed http://www.thepostm how santa knows http://www.thepostm the winning resume http://www.thepostm boners http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Chubby Brown-12 days of christmas http://www.thepostm Robin Williams http://www.thepostm the copy machine http://www.thepostm Dean Martin and Don Rickles http://www.thepostm R.D. Mercer and the mink coat http://www.thepostm sledge hammer http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF Venice http://www.thepostm JAPANESE LANDSLIDE http://www.thepostm growing up in the 50s http://www.thepostm 15 most ridiculous women http://www.thepostm why dogs rule http://www.thepostm all I want for xmas http://www.thepostm  Merry Christmas http://www.thepostm child hood malnutrition http://www.thepostm Jacqueline Santarem http://www.thepostm Christmas cookies http://www.thepostm A man dies "in the act" after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts. The funeral director can't get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man's beautiful young widow. "I'm afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra large coffin or to amputate his member." "Well I have no more money," states the widow, "and it is against my religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece." The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a brainwave: He'll amputate his dick and then stick it up the deceased's assckside, in which case a more expensive coffin is unnecessary and the husband will still be, in a manner of speaking, in the one piece. The widow reluctantly agrees. On the day of the funeral, the deceased is displayed in an open casket. As the mourners file by, one mourner places flowers on the coffin and a drop of water from the flowers falls onto the deceased's face, looking for all the world like a teardrop. The next mourner to file by is the widow. She looks down at her lifeless husband, notices the "teardrop" and says to him quietly, "See, I told you it hurts!" ____ "I've got this thing for tall, lean men," said the new coder at the software company. "That Mike in sales is certainly a long tall drink of water." "I hate to bust your bubble honey,"replied the office veteran,"but for a long tall drink of water, he's got an awful short straw. ____________ A large two-engine passenger train was crossing the U.S. from New York to Los Angeles. After they had gone about a third of the distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and continued on half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided to inform the passengers the reason the train had stopped, and made the following announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. "The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for quite some time. "The good news is that you decided to take the train instead of a plane!" ____________ Upon reaching 65, Bill decided to retire. After having him under foot for A few months, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he go And do something to occupy his time, like join a club or get a hobby. Bill obliged and went out for a couple of hours. When he got home his wife asked about his day and he replied, "Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club. "What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to start Jumping out of airplanes?" "Yeah, look I even got a membership card." "Old man, you need glasses! This is a membership in a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" "Oh, great! Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a week!" ____________ http://www.funpagee bathroom time monitored http://www.funpagee America you have just been pantsed http://www.funpagee new economy stimulus package http://www.funpagee pain in the gas station http://www.funpagee bewildering bill http://www.funpagee I was at a baseball game in Yankee Stadium, when I decided to get myself a hot dog. As I stood up, my husband asked me to buy him a beer. The young clerk at the concession stand asked to see verification of age. "You've got to be kidding," I said. "I'm almost 40 years old." He apologized, but he said he had to see some ID, it was policy. When I showed him my driver's license, the clerk served me the beer. "That will be $6.25, please." he said. I gave him $7.00 and told him to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," I said. He put the change into his tip cup and replied, "Thanks." And as I walked away, I heard him add, "Works every time." ____________ In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said " See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar'." ____________ It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita. Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged."But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita. Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me." Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang..... "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year." ____________ Aussie Shiela http://www.buffalos FUN PAGES from Lorraine Medican't http://tinyurl. Double Trouble http://tinyurl. PAPA Thorn Stimulating food http://able2laugh. SHHHHHHHH... Thurough stripper http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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