THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Women are like Blenders You need one, but you're not quite sure why  This holiday season treat your family and friends to the delicious taste of honey baked ham as well as other groceries and goodies with a FREE $500 Honey Baked Ham(R) Gift Card! Don't Wait! Act now to get everything you need for your big holiday dinner! http://www.thepostm  A free scan is now available to detect harmful errors that can slow down your PC. Run PC Speedscan Pro today to detect hundreds of useless files that may be slowing down your PC. You'll be amazed at how much faster and more stable your computer becomes. - Find and eliminate harmful errors - Help stabilize your Windows system - Fast and easy to use for beginners and experts - Runs on all new and older Windows machines - Returns your PC to its original high performance! http://www.thepostm  It's time to get a FREE GPS Navigation now! You only need to fill out a yes/no short survey to claim FREE GPS Navigation. Join now and we will mail you with free shipping and handling service and also free upgrade to same day shipping via FedEx. ACT NOW to enjoy this special offer! Hurry up. Limited Quantities! http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! The financial world was rocked to the core when Bernie Madoff, a former chairman of the NASDAQ stock market, was arrested and charged with running a multi-billion dollar hedge fund swindle in New York Mr Madoff is alleged to have operated the scheme through his hedge fund business, which was separate from his better-known market-making business, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities (BMIS). Mr Madoff told senior employees of his firm on Wednesday that "it's all just one big lie" and that he was "finished", according to a criminal complaint filed on Thursday night by the US Attorney's office and the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI). He allegedly went on to say that the business was "a giant Ponzi scheme" – a reference to Charles Ponzi, one of the greatest swindlers in US history – and estimated that the scheme had lost investors $50billion over many years – which would make the hedge fund one of the biggest frauds in history. If you are not clear on what a ponzi scheme is, its a fraudulant investment scam where those who invest are promised high returns for it. But in reality, there is no real investment fund, and previous investors are paid by recruiting new investors. Eventually, the scheme collapses under its own weight. And while the scheme Madoff ran was supposedly the largest in history, I am not so sure. Isn't that what our own social security program does? It pays those who invested before with the investment of current contributors. Yep. Sounds like a ponzi scheme to me. And the Government says they are illegal, except for the one it runs itself. The absolute largest ponzi scheme is the one the government runs. Go figger Did you know that the postmans ink cartridge store is open? You can buy your favorite toner and cartridges at rock bottom prices, because the postman,s store offers 3 for the price of two! You have to buy them some where so why not support the POSTMAN'S CORNER when you do it? All proceeds will used to continue this joke page  Tired of paying way too much for your ink and toner? Then you're in luck, because at ClickInks we're obsessed with saving you money! With our buy 2 get 1 free offer on select cartridges, free shipping on orders over $50, and a 100% money back guarantee you've got nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain! http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman! THE COMICS letter to Santa http://www.thepostm time to layoff http://www.thepostm my name is Steve http://www.thepostm try it on two http://www.thepostm divorce lawyer http://www.thepostm willies thought for the day http://www.thepostm real estate problems http://www.thepostm The christmas pickle http://www.thepostm Oh holy night http://www.thepostm mommy is santa? http://www.thepostm The US military http://www.thepostm Santa's fatty shit http://www.thepostm when will you get out of here? http://www.thepostm native American http://www.thepostm this is Christmas http://www.thepostm life is a joke http://www.thepostm how to fool guys http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF Tim Conway-prison dentist http://www.thepostm car on blocks http://www.thepostm Xmas balloons http://www.thepostm we don't like it http://www.thepostm worlds most expensive car http://www.thepostm  Two Jewish sisters-in-law meet at their weekly session at the beauty shop. Sadie says to Golda, "Such news I got for you, Golda! My Irving is finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to this wonderful Jewish girl, but he thinks the poor darling may have some strange illness called herpes." After offering congratulations, Golda says to Sadie, "So, Sadie, do you have any idea what is this herpes, and can our Irving catch it?" Sadie answers, "God forbid! But his Papa and I are just so happy to hear about his engagement. You know how we've all worried about him. Its past time he's settled with a nice girl. As far as the herpes goes, who knows?" "Well," Golda says, "I have a very fine medical dictionary. I'll just run home right now and look it up and call you." So, Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Sadie excitedly, "Sadie! Sadie! Thank goodness, I found it.Not to worry! It says herpes is a disease affecting the gentiles." ___________ A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging... Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game. ____________ When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. Diane's 4-year-old son overheard some of his mother's private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we're going to name it, too." "Really?" asked the lady. "Yes." said the little boy, "If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!" ____________ A father was entertaining a boy his daughter had brought home from college. "I realize it's only a formality," the young man said, "but I want to ask for your daughter's hand." "And where did you get the idea that this is just a formality?" the father asked. The boyfriend replied, "From our Lamaze instructor." ___________ A blonde, bosomy cheerleader confessed to her priest that she often had sex with her boyfriend in the front seat of his car. "Now, my daughter," consoled the priest, "I'm sure if you think about it, you'll know you've been doing something wrong." "Yeah, I guess you are right," replied the cheerleader. "Maybe it would be more comfortable in the backseat." ______ Man and his wife were having sex. Fifteen minutes, 30 minutes and then 45 minutes passed. Sweat was pouring off both of them when the wife finally looked up and said, "What's the matter, honey? Can't you think of anyone else either?" ________ Two men went into a bar. After a few drinks, one said to the other, "Since you went off college I've been screwing your mother's brains out!" The second one responded, "I think you've had enough to drink, Dad." ____________ bathroom time monitored http://www.funpagee the old dumb and dash http://www.funpagee Santas little helpers http://www.funpagee greyhound deterring terrorists http://www.funpagee A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time-honored icebreaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation. Finally the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two hundred dollars for what you think you'll ply out of me with liquor." He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you were so straight-forward I must tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture, and just plain destroy the place." "Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked. "Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied. ____________ A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in downtown Chicago and asked to be taken out to O'Hare Airport. On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, "Ohhh!!! TOYOTA!!! Made in Japan!!! Very fast!!!" Not too long after, another car flew by the taxi. "Ohh!!! NISSAN!!! Made in Japan!!! Very fast!!!" Yet another zipped by, "Ohh!!! Mitsubishi!! Japan!!! Very fast!!!" The taxi driver, complete 100% American, was starting to get a little miffed that the Japanese-made cars were passing his Chevy, when yet another car passed the taxi right as they were turning into the airport. "Ohh!!! Honda!!! Made in Japan!!! Very fast!!!" The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said, "That'll be $150." "150 dorrar? But was such short ride ... why so much?" "Taxi Meter. Made in Japan. Very fast." __________ Buffalo Bill Dog In Pool http://www.buffalos Don't Smoke here http://www.buffalos FUN PAGES from Lorraine Dumb Bomb Threat http://tinyurl. What the Flirt? http://tinyurl. Close The Facebook On This Case http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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