Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Did you watch the Congressional hearings yesterday on the Big
Three Bail-Out. I got quite a kick out of GM's position that they
weren't the same as the Wall Street Banks. They weren't thieves
and scoundrels they were victims and needed their county's help.
Unfortunately if you do just a little bit of research you find out
that
GM sold off 51% of their financing arm GMAC in 2006 to Citigroup.
GMAC also included DiTech which sells in some cases sub-prime
mortgages. GM kept a non-controlling portion of the company and
was paid 14 billion dollars for the remainder along with options
to buy the auto financing part back over 10 years. A year and a half
later sub-prime hits the skids and Citigroup needs 300 billion to
keep it from collapsing. Then GM and the unions ask," You bailed
Citigroup out, you have to help us too." They seem to forget to
mention
the fact that they helped put Citigroup in the mess it was in and
when
everything is cleared up they can take control of auto leasing back
and make more profits because it is less risky. They are all
thieves.
I was up last night at 1130, Eva and Sandy were asleep and Buffy
was on her computer and I got the craving for an ice cream float.
I have a brick of no sugar added vanilla ice cream and Diet Coke
for such an occasion and made one and set it at my workstation
and went back to the kitchen looking for a straw. It took about a
minute and when I got back there was Eva sitting in her high chair
at my work station eyeing my float. So I put the tray on her chair
and
went back to make myself another one. How do kids do that?
Eva is really getting into the Christmas shows on TV and she seems
to know that this is the time of year to ask for toys. We get the
Buyer's
Guide and all of the local sales papers delivered to our doorstep
once a week and she tears them apart and brings the pages of things
that she wants around to the family. She can spot things in the
sales
papers that I have trouble reading with a magnifying glass. I agree
with the Dora stuff, and Sponge Bob, and even Handy Manny but the
other night she was showing me a 70.00 My First Craftsman Tools
work bench with a 30.00 air compressor and a 12.99 battery powered
Saws-all. Like I am going to turn a three year old loose with a
cutting tool
and what is the compressor for? So she can run a framing nailer to
put the
stuff back together she cuts apart?
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PSA
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffalo--
Any one near Galveston this weekend needs to visit Galveston and
meet the Queen. No, I don't mean Elizabeth; I mean Victoria. Dickens
on the Strand will go on, although one major employer (UTMB) has had
massive lay-offs, many people no longer have a secure roof over
their heads, and there is still storm debris to be removed.
This "Wall street of the South" did better in recovery after the
1900 storm, when all they had was the Red Cross with Clara Barton,
no FEMA, and a whole lot less rules and regulations. There were no
public housing developments to be condemed; people moved back into
their houses, if they could, and started to re-build. But then that
is my opinion and I wasn't even BOI (Born On the Island).
Plus the Bike Rally has been re-scheduled for the following
week-end.
Come on down, y'all. The Island needs tourist dollars to recover.
The world seems to have forgotten us. We are not near as big as New
Orleans and perhaps in some eyes didn't suffer the destruction,
however, I'll close with one thought -- if anyone suffers major
trauma that person must be air lifted to Houston, because UTMB no
longer has an ER to serve BP and the others in Texas City, let alone
the people of this sand spit of an island.
Patty
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day little Johnny's teacher was teaching the class about
agriculture. To help with this, she was showing pictures of farm
equipment. She puts up the first picture, "What is this a picture of
class?" she asks.
Little Suzy puts up her hand and Johnny sticks up his hand. Of
course, the teacher just knows that Johnny has something dirty in
mind and picks Suzy."What is this Suzy?".
"Its a rake".
"Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" she asks and
points
at the next picture. Johnny's hand shoots up and, little Anne
politely puts up her hand, and once again the teacher ignores little
Johnny.
"That's a pitchfork" says little Suzy.
"Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" The teacher asks
once more. Dead silence, only one student has their hand up, and of
course its little Johnny. Seeming as though no one else was
volunteering, the teacher asked Johnny. "OK Johnny, what is this?".
All of a sudden Johnny realizes he doesn't know the answer. "UH, UH,
its a shovel, yeah, it's a shovel."
"No Johnny, this isn't a shovel, this is a hoe".
"What?!?! My sister's a hoe and she doesn't look nutin' like that!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Virginity YES
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He-She
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Romance
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
London Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a nearly empty London bar on a filthy winter's day, there were
several patrons quietly drinking when in comes your stereotypical
American visitor, obviously unimpressed by the country, its weather
and everything else about it.
He says loudly, "What a lousy country. The bars are shut half the
time, it's cold, wet and windy, the beer tastes like piss and is
served at the same temperature, the streets are packed and you can't
even get a cab."
Several people quietly leave.
He looks at a gentleman quietly sipping a pink gin and says, "Hey,
limey:
how can you bear to live in such a miserable place?"
He is ignored, more people leave. After much more of this only the
gentleman with the pink gin, the barman and the American are left.
He says, "Hey, limey, I'm talking to you. I've been to damn near
every country in the world and this is the lousiest. I dunno how you
can bear to live here. This country is just the arsehole of the
world."
The gentleman with the pink gin pauses, takes another sip and,
turning, delicately enquires of the American, "Oh, yes. Just passing
through, are you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watch the weazel dance! Hilarious!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redhead Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1)- How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
2)- Why do redheads really like their hair color?
3)- Why didn't Indians scalp redheads?
4)- Why aren't most redheads flat-chested?
5)- How can you tell if redhead is lonely?
6)- Why are redheads considered evil?
7)- What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
8)- Why don't redheads wear training bras?
9)- Why did they quit selling redheaded Barbie dolls?
10)- What did the frustrated redhead say to her uninterested lover?
11)- What do redheads miss most about a great party?
12)- How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a
girlfriend?
13)- How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
ANSWERS:
1)- She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl.
2)- It does the same thing for the men it does for the bulls ... it
fires them up!
3)- They knew better.
4)- It makes reading the T-shirt more exciting.
5)- There are less than 5 men around her.
6)- Aren't ALL addictions considered bad for you?
7)- A man that's taken with a redhead, but is batting 'zero.'
8)- There's nothing 'in training' on a redhead.
9)- Ken kept having low self esteem issues.
10)- Nothing. 'Frustrated' and 'uninterested' don't appear in
a redhead's vocabulary.
11)- The lack of equality in male partners.
12)- She has scratched 'Stay off MY TURF!' on his back with
her claws ...er ... nails, that is.
13)- She unties you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three guys were sitting at the bar. The first guy said, "You know,
I'm
really lucky. When my wife makes love, she's like an acrobat. She
can
get into the most incredible positions." The second guy said, "I'm
lucky, too. My wife is like a world-class pianist when we have sex.
She's got the most talented hands you can imagine." No one spoke for
a
moment. Then the first guy said to the third guy, "George how's you
wife in bed?" George took a sip of his beer, then replied, "I guess
you could say that my wife makes love like a chess player." "A chess
player?" "Yeah. Every twenty minutes, she moves."
"My boyfriend and I had hardly finished one argument when I screwed
up
and started another one." said Jill. "How'd you do that?" asked
Margaret. "Well," says Jill "you know when you're done with a big
fight and your significant other suggests a little 'make-up sex'?"
"Yeah" says Margaret. Jill replies, "I guess it wasn't the right
time
for me to ask, 'Does it have to be with you?'"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dentist Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really
well, so
they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands.
He then
took off his socks and washed his hands.
The girl looked at him and said, "You must be a dentist."
Flabergasted, the guy responded, "Yes, that's amazing. How did you
figure
that out ?"
The girl said, "Easy. You keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another, so they migrated to the bed and things
became more
passionate. After they were done, the girl said, "You must be a
great
dentist!"
The guy was very very surprised, and said, "Yes, I sure am a great
dentist,
How did you figure that out?"
The girl replied, "Easy. I didn't feel a thing!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you and Larry serious?" the one girl asked her friend while they
were talking over cocktails.
"We're still a little short of a meeting of the minds." she replied.
"I want a big, old-fashioned June wedding, and he wants a quickie in
the back seat."
One guy is very upset and yells at his friend, "You slept with my
wife, you son of a bitch. I am gonna make you pay for what you did."
"Bullshit," replies the other one, "why should I pay twice."
A guy sees an attractive woman in a bar. They get along quite well,
and after introducing themselves to each other, they share a booth
and a bit to eat. Small talk and conversation follow, and the guy
decides to "make his move".
He turns to her and says, "So, how's about you and me go play
'Magic'?"
"Magic??" she says, "What's that?"
"We go to my house and mad passionate love all night...then you
disappear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/O Holy Night
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Sing Noel
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Surfin Surfari
Carbon Monoxide
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Charlie Tree
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Cut Out And Keep
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Christnmas Story House
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Sounds a Dying Hard Drive Makes
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Christmas Swf
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Animal World
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
CC
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Centrum Silver
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Chicks Playing Pool
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Chokes On You
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Christmas Songs The O.J. Way
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Canardx
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Candid Camera Russian Style
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Carrier Landing
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Cat
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Cat Bird
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bumped into a friend dressed as Abe Lincoln. He said he was going
to
a costume party dressed as his sex life. "But what does Lincoln have
to do with your sex life?" I asked. He answered, "Well. My last four
scores were seven years ago!"
It is alright to slap a midget if he tells your girlfriend her hair
smells nice.
Have you heard about that blind hooker? You've gotta hand it to her!
A man asked his friend, "How's your wife doing?" The friend said,
"Not
too well. She hasn't been feeling herself lately. But it was a
damned
dirty habit anyway."
A dildo farmer's greatest threat is squatters.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
What are YOU shaking for? She's going to eat me!
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sands Of Christ
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dennis the menace
http://www.thepostm
my experience
http://www.thepostm
nighties
http://www.thepostm
In For It
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Pick up Lines
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Money Worries
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Winner Gets on Top
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Jugs
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
One Sick Joke
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tim Had Traveled To Peru
In Search Of The Ultimate Screw.
When His Trip Was Complete,
He Zipped Up His Meat
And Said To The Ladies, ''Thank You!''
There once was a man from Peru
Who took a ride in a canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He played with his penis
And woke with a hand full of goo!
There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN....
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
While making love to his wife, Martin discovered he couldn't enjoy
it.
Though they had been married only a few years, he reflected
unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and bland.
Then quite suddenly, alarmed, he said: "What happened, did I hurt
you ?"
"Why no, not at all." said his surprised wife. "Whatever made you
ask
that?"
"Well... no reason actually." the bored husband replied with a
sigh, "It's just that for a moment there, I thought you actually
moved."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Aggie couple, both undergraduates, checked into a motel on the
outskirts of Bryan, TX. Shortly after entering their room, the young
lady excused herself to go to the bathroom. Minutes later she
returned dressed in pajamas, looked towards her boyfriend and said,
"Screw you." She smiled and crawled into bed. The young man smiled
in
acknowledgement, went to the bathroom and also changed into pajamas.
As he returned, he said "Screw you," and turned out the lights.
After
crawling beneath the covers he pressed near her, their faces almost
touching. "Screw you," she whispered softly. "Screw you," he
stammered, his voice quivering with passion. Then they both rolled
over, turning their backs to one another, and went to sleep. The
following morning they quietly dressed and
walked to the car. As he opened her door, she looked into his eyes
and said, "You know, I don't think this oral sex is all it's made
out
to be!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1485
The Cast Iron Pan
Sometimes when the dogs get into the trash or steal food, we can
get pretty angry with them. Sometimes when they go to unbelievable
ways to do something, we chuckle..such a task happened yesterday.
Diana: BJ, did you feed the dogs the leftover sloppy joes mix that
was in the cast iron skillet?
BJ: No.
Diana: I found the skillet in the living room.
BJ: In the living room? I would never feed them in the living
room.
Diana chuckling: I wonder which doggie took that heavy cast iron
skillet
from the top of the stove and carried it into the living room
without
dropping it?
BJ: Not Katie, she is not strong enough.
Diana: Probably not Sandi, but she possible could have.
Rudy is sitting in the corner of the room head cocked, ears flopped
over
with and odd grin.
BJ: There is one critter that has a larger head than any human in
the
house.
Diana looking at Rudy: Gee I wonder who could have done that? The
biggest doggie we have perhaps?
Rudy is looking at the ceiling.
BJ: I wonder what Katie and Sandi were doing at the time.
Katie: Egging.
BJ: What?
Katie: We were egging him onward.
Sandi: More like cheering him. Like go go go. You can do it!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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