[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner



THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
Martin aka the  postman-editor
"Turk" aka Carlos-assistant editor
 
 
 



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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
It is a busy weekend. I am dog sitting. oldest daughter went to
Frankenmuth for a shopping weekend. So she brought her little
purebread Chiuawa over to Dad's house. That's also one of the reasons
I was so late getting the list done yesterday. I repeatedly tell daughter
that this thing is not a dog. he actually resembles a rat more, IMO...
he just thinks he is a dog. I had always vowed that after my dog,
"Wrinkles" died a few years back that I would never have another
because it hurt too much when he passed on. But somehow this little
mutt has managed to worm his way into the hearts of the postman
clan in a big way. Daughter brings "Turk", also known as "Carlos" by
yours truly, over quite often. She has a busy lifestyle that is not suited
for a doggie right now, and is campaigning to have me and ''the war
department' adopt the silly beast. (the main resistance to the idea
coming from "the war department" who is worried about the resilience
of the new light beige furniture we purchased recently.) I always
figgered that if a dog couldn't put his paws on your shoulder while
he licked your face, then he was a waste of breath. So this is an
interesting first time for me with a little biddy dog and not a big one.
My last dog, "Wrinkles" was Austrailian shepard and wolf mix,
but mostly just a Heinz 57 garden variety mutt. so its also the first time
in my life I would ever have a purebread doggie. Turk, aka Carlos,
is about the perfect size to sit on my thigh at the computer and watch
me post cartoons for the list,or more importantly, help me eat the
ramen noodles I had for breakfast. But somehow,I got a feeling that
even tho he ain't much more than a good size for a sandwich, daughter is probably
gonna win the campaign, and The Postman's Corner will end
up with an assistant editor:)

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

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THE COMICS

Dads
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planning to write to Santa this year?
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put in a difficult position
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In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity and
magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the
week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab
session the instructor wanted to see how many people had
actually done so.
"What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell
quiet until Pauly raised his hand and said, "Uh, Miller
and Coors?"
______________
 
Top Signs Your Company is Planning a Layoff
 
1. CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe."
2. Dr. Kevorkian hired as "Transition Consultant."
3. Windows 98 shutdown screen reads, "It's Now Safe to
    Start Looking for Work."
4. Company softball team down-sized to chess team.
5. Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.
6. Your boss keeps asking you when he can "show your  cubicle."
7. Company president now driving a Hyundai.
8. Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton
    banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
9. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
10. Company dental plan now consists of pliers and  string.
____________
 
A few days before the young couple was to get married,
the girl accidentally walked in on her husband to be. He
was just climbing out of the shower drying his head with
a towel and didn't see her.
She was unsure of what she had seen, so she went to her
doctor for advice. "Doc," she said, "What is that long
thing between a man's legs?"
"Well, that is called the penis." he said.
"Oh." she said, "Well, what is that big round thing on
the end of the penis?"
"That is called the head of the penis." the doctor said.
"Oh." she said, "Well, what are those big round things
located about thirteen inches back from the head of the
penis?" The doctor said, "Honey, I don't know about your
boyfriend but on me, that is the cheeks of my ass."
________________
 
It wasn't until their second date that Debbie realized
that John was a braggart...They were doubling with another
couple for dinner, and John whispered to her: "Instead of
dessert, how about we just go to my place, and I'll slip ya
nine inches." "Hmmmmm," responded Debbie. "How do you intend
to do that? Strap a 6-inch dildo to your 3-inch ding dong?"
_____________
 
 A gay guy walks into the grocery store and heads
back towards the meat department. After a few
moments of looking at the merchandise, the
butcher asks him if he would like to place an
order.The gay guy says yes, and orders 5 pounds of
salami. The butcher asks him if he would like
that sliced.The gay guy replied,
"What, does my asshole look like a piggybank?"
________________
 
Jill:    C'mon, Mary, exactly how many men have you been with?
Mary:    Now, Jill, I've taken the Army's policy on that information
and adapted it for my own situation.
Jill:    What do you mean?
Mary:    Don't ask; don't tell; don't remember.
_______________
 
A man with a fetish for very large women walks into a brothel. When
asked what he wants, he says 'I want a really large woman - as big as
possible.' He is shown this enormous woman, but he shakes his head -
'nope, not fat enough. Get someone bigger than that.' He is shown
another, even more enormous woman. 'Nope, still not big enough. I
tell you what - give me the biggest woman you have!'. He is shown the
biggest woman who works in the brothel. She is unbelievably big -
'That's more like it!' He is taken off to a room by the woman, and
presently is on top of her going about satisfying his sexual desires.
After a few minutes of heaving and groaning, he suddenly stops and
says to the woman -
'Sorry. Do you mind if I turn the light off?' to which the woman replies
'It's me, isn't it? I'm so big that you find me unattractive.' to
which the man replies -
'No, not at all! I think you're a very attractive woman. It's just
that the light bulb's burning my ass!'
______________
 
"John and I had hardly finished one argument when I screwed up and
started another one," said Jill.
"How'd you do that?" asked Nadine.
"Well," said Jill, "you know when you're done with a big fight and
your significant other suggests a little 'make-up sex?'"
"Yeah" says Nadine.
Jill replies, "I guess it wasn't the right time for me to ask, 'Does
it have to be with you?'"
____________

BUFFALO Bill
 
 
 

 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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