THE POSTMAN'S CORNER where the world goes for its daily dose of humor As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.  Keep the kids happy whenever and wherever - at home, in a restaurant or even in the car! Forget messy crayons, markers and pens. Just bend any color and watch the fun begin! Build, draw, decorate and transform ordinary objects into incredibly fun toys! http://www.thepostm  Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably. The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece. http://www.thepostm  Are you Wild or Mild? Search and View Millions of Wild or Mild singles. Take a chance; find someone today! 100% FREE! Click below to find your match: http://www.thepostm  $7,500 - Guaranteed Instant Approval! *NO Credit Checks *NO Employment Verification *NO Annual Fees, EVER *NO Interest, EVER There are no finance charges and you will never pay interest, so it's the perfect card to help repair your credit. We report a new credit source to major credit bureaus. Get Approved Now! http://www.thepostm Good morning postman fans! The state of Illinois is reeling with the most recent scandal revolving around their governor. As the controversy grows around his attempt to "sell" the senate seat of Barack Obama, they are attempting to take steps for his removal. They also want to change it to a more positive event to improve their state image. In fact, the legislature has approved a new state motto..."Illinois, where our governors make our license plates" We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS Santa's workshop http://www.thepostm Christmas safety tip http://www.thepostm hunting trip gone bad http://www.thepostm brand recognition http://www.thepostm the cat in the hat http://www.thepostm somewhere in Harlem http://www.thepostm what to do with it http://www.thepostm the gay old west http://www.thepostm ____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES the bailout explained the blind man http://www.thepostm the pitbull, the cat and the chicks http://www.thepostm Universal declaration of human rights http://www.thepostm Diarreha in a public restroom http://www.thepostm beer makes women beautiful http://www.thepostm my mother said I could http://www.thepostm Amos and Andy http://www.thepostm UFO abduction service http://www.thepostm chick gets towed http://www.thepostm oh christmas tree-Nat King Cole http://www.thepostm While making up her teen-age daughter's bed, she was shocked to discover a large carrot under the pillow. When Mary Jo came home, Mother demanded an explanation of the carrot. "Mother, I want to be honest with you," she confessed, "for the past few weeks that carrot has been my husband." "Well," the Mother replied, "consider yourself a widow, because your husband just went into tonight's stew!" ____________ Charlotte stormed into the eye surgeon's office and went up to the desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was stolen here here?" "Well, after the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think," explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success." ____________ Shloyme Seltzer has become rich and wants to show off, so he orders his driver to drive him to this new exclusive golf club with his new Cadillac. Unfortunately a sign at the door unmistakably states that Jews are not permitted access. The driver wants to return home, but not Shloyme! Shloyme says: "Wait here for me." His driver responds: "But don't you see the sign? They'll kick you out immediately! Shloyme says, "I don't have to tell them I'm Jewish." and he leaves for the gate. So the driver waits... One hour... two hours... three hours. After three and a half hours, Shloyme is kicked out by two body-builder type guardsmen. The driver asks: "What happened?" Shloyme says,"Everything was fine until we played hole number eight! Accidentally I shot my ball into one of these ponds. I shouted: 'Oh, my G-d, what'll I do now?' And then the waters separated and everybody knew..." ____________ A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, shooting him right through the penis. Obviously, he had to see a doctor. When he woke up from surgery, he found that the doctor had done a marvelous job repairing it. As he got ready to go home, the doctor gave him a business card. "This is my brother's card. I'll make an appointment for you to see him."The guy says, "Is your brother a doctor?" "No," Doc replies, "he plays the flute. He'll show you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye." __________ Sherry, the gorgeous blonde secretary, walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." "Sherry honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once!" "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile." ____________ Says a teenage girl to her doctor, "You prescribed me birth control pills." "And how is it going?" "I think it's ok, but I'd like to have them bigger." The doctor was surprised, "You mean stronger?" "No. Bigger, please." "But why BIGGER?" "Because they keep falling out." ____________ The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a computer voice intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong." The plane takes off and after a while, the computer voice comes back. "Ladies and gentlemen, in a few moments we are going to reach our cruising altitude. Sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong... Nothing can go wrong ... Nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...." laws that make babies cry http://www.funpagee they don't have a prayer http://www.funpagee asleep 19 years http://www.funpagee a pain in the gas station http://www.funpagee tag em and bag em http://www.funpagee Deep Tissue massage http://www.buffalos Deer Hunting With a Bird http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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