THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!  You don't have to get out of bed to make $1,000/week using your computer Enter your name and e-mail address in the form below to receive your very own FREE Duvet Dollars website and Money-Making Tools - enabling you to start. http://www.thepostm  Get your hands on the new Samsung Eternity(TM) for FREE! Equipped with a QWERTY Keypad, MP3 Player, 3.0 Megapixel Camera, AT&T Mobile Music, AT&T Mobile TV and AT&T Navigator, this phone has all the latest features to provide an eternity of  FREE SANTA CLAUSE SCREENSAVER Get into the holiday spirit with this Santa Claus Screensaver. Watch as Santa and his reindeer soar through the snow filled sky and make their stops. Features Falling snow Soaring Santa and reindeer Christmas Jingles No purchase or registration required http://www.thepostm GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS! West Michigan is in the midst of a "major snow event." Most public schools are closed today, probably being the one time of the year when it disappoints the kids, as this is "Christmas party day." Obviously, this is going to cancel out my planned trip to the mall today for that special present for "the war department." Down here in the lower penninsula where I live, winter tends to be a little more mild than in the north country. Do you read Buffalo Bill's daily rag? Up there, where Bill lives in Slt St. Marie, they have been dealing with winter fluff since the end of July. I'm pretty sure that National Geographic has declared the upper penninsula of Michigan a wildlife refuge. I'm also pretty sure I saw a polar bear driving the Buffalo's new Suburban. Not really sure why he has one, as I always figured that most people who live in the upper penninsula of Michigan usually hybernate all winter, staying inside and playing mumbly peg. There are three kinds of currency in the Upper penninsula of Michigan, U.S. currency, Canadian Currency and returnable cans. US currency is the least well known, and and Molsons Canadian beer can empties are the most prevalent. They only work up there about 3 weeks out of the year during summer, when tourists from the lower penninsula come up to spend their tourist dollars. After they leave, the locals go out and collect empty beer cans so they have enough to live on during the winter:)BTW, if you are not reading the Buffalo's joke page, you really ought to. His humor and outlook on things are pretty much like mine, and if you like the postman, I know you will like him, too. Its free and you can subscribe to his daily rag by sending a blank email to: bufalos-adult- An interesting note about my recent switch from Comcast cable Internet. I had 6 meg but it had gotten too pricey for the postman. I dropped down to 1 meg, and while the price was better, it was so doggy during the peak hours in the evening, you couldn't get anywhere. So I've made the switch back over to dsl and find it not only cheaper but its also much faster, because very few around this area use it compared to cable. They gave me a price comparable to the 1 meg of the cable company, but its about twice as fast. I am quite happy. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman! THE COMICS not a creature believe in Santa Clause http://www.thepostm the big three http://www.thepostm Here it is: The official birth certificate for Barack Obama http://www.thepostm Christmas morning http://www.thepostm our broker says http://www.thepostm C'mon Stan http://www.thepostm ____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES gettin up for Christmas-wav file the honest shopper http://www.thepostm R. D. Mercer-the police-wav file http://www.thepostm sponsor an executive http://www.thepostm the big turkey http://www.thepostm my friend has a girlfriend-wav file http://www.thepostm will you dance with me? http://www.thepostm ____________  Reindeer Dance Seat Belt Laws Gets Front Seat…in Iraq? http://www.funpagee Microsoft Merger With McDonalds http://www.funpagee Millionaire Shoplifter http://www.funpagee Full Moon Christmas http://www.funpagee U-Ran Over Yourself http://www.funpagee Is That A Gun Law In Your Pocket? http://www.funpagee Mr. Bean http://www.funpagee One day a woman was holding her 6 month old nephew and the baby kept grabbing her nose. Her husband, thinking he was being clever, said, "Well you know Hun, babies grab the biggest thing they see." She replied, "If that's true, you could be sitting there naked and he would STILL be grabbing your nose!" _________ A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." Ruben piped up, "They must be bored again Christians." __________ The waitress was waiting about as patiently as could be expected while the guy was slowly going over the breakfast menu. Being a smart ass, he said to the other guys in the booth, and loud enough for her to overhear, "I usually never return to a restaurant unless one of the sausages I'm served with my eggs is a match in size for my own." The waitress gave him a disgusted look and commented, "In that case, maybe you should be looking at the children's menu." ____________ The middle-aged woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him. And he's right too. I have no desire at all." The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling into his office. "Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin' it twice a night now." "That's wonderful." said the doctor, "What does you husband say now?" "How should I know?" she replied. "I ain't been home yet." ____________ Swiped boldly from "Nuthin but Net" a free daily joke page: Subscribe for free by sending a blank email to: Subscribe: NuthinbutNet- The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight. The negotiators agreed that each side would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its side the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, and fed them the best food. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on its cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute.The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring. The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail. The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. 'We do not understand,' said their leader. 'Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine.' 'Really?' the Israeli General replied. 'For five years, we've had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund. BUFFALO Bill Screen test http://www.buffalos Some dick in a truck http://able2laugh. Alien Invasion (smut alert) http://able2laugh. Polar Bear Dance http://tinyurl. New Gun Law Richochets Through Philly http://tinyurl. Making a Brain Withdrawal http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman. |
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