[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
 




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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The weekend has proven to be quiet and uneventful. Since
'the war department' has the weekend off, we have no reason
to venture out into the snow clogged roads. I spent most of
Saturday painting the bathroom downstairs. And remarkably,
the Internet was running reasonably well so she and I spent
most of last night watching old reruns of Crusoe on one of
the free tv websites. We are too cheap to spend lots of money
on cable tv, and we have too many trees for the dish to work.
So, we watch most of the stuff we want to see on the net.
I often wonder why cable tv advertises the way it does.   
They claim its better reception than the dish. which is a joke,
because around here the system gets overloaded and your tv
usually blanks out about halfway through any movie you try to
watch. I also switched our phone back over from VOIP to a inexpensive
land line with a nice dsl package included. I'll be switching over
in a couple days. It was actually
a little cheaper than what I was paying for phone and internet
from the cable company, and it CERTAINLY is much more reliable.  
 
NEWS FLASH
There will be no Nativity Scene in
washington DC .The Supreme Court has ruled that
there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the capital this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have  not been able to
find Three wise Men in the Nation's capitol.
There was no  problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable. 
Barack, Hillary, and Nancy all volunteered. They are not sure who the
final pick will be, however, as the choice is being contested by Oprah,
and Teddy.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS
 
junk mail
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i081.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Eye Contact
Sometimes it's difficult to look someone in the eye when you're talking to them........
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probably cuz she is squinting.
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
air phone
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Going fishing is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. 
First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your 
rod cover, and remove any dirt or grunge that may have built up while 
not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that 
there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the 
grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the 
appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.
________________
 
"Last night I had three orgasms in a row!" "That's nothing; last night 
I had over a hundred." "My god! I had no idea your boyfriend was that 
good." "Oh, you meant with one guy."
________________
 
A man just done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party. Halfway
there he said, "Man, I really gotta take a dump." He got off the motorway,
found an abandoned petrol station, went in there and took a dump. While he
was taking this dump he read a sign that said:'There is no toilet paper.
Wipe your arse with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and
they will be licked clean for you.'
Well, he had no choice, so he wiped his arse with his fingers and
stuck them out the hole. All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his
fingers. The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers.
________________
 
A traveling buyer had been on a trip for three months. Every few weeks 
he'd send a telegram to his wife saying: "Can't come home. Still 
buying." The wife stood it for a while, but when the fourth month 
started and her husband still had no idea of returning, she decided to 
do something. She sent him a telegram. "Better come home. I'm selling 
what you're buying."
___________
 
I read a survey the other day. It said that the 'successful woman' was 
one who made $38,500 per year. One of the questions on the survey was 
"how many times do you like to make love?" The most popular answer was 
2 times a day. Two times a day? That's two times, seven days a week, 
356 days a year. That's 738 times a year. You show me a woman who 
makes love 738 times a year, and I'll show you a woman who makes a lot 
more than thirty-eight five.
________________
 
Two good Montana buddies were out hunting for a cougar that was 
killing their sheep. They staked out an area of the woods near their 
fields, and waited. After a while, sure enough, there came the cougar. 
They patiently waited until it was close, and then they both jumped up 
and shot it at the same time. They couldn't tell whose bullet had 
taken the cougar's life! They decided to share the credit, and also to 
have the cougar stuffed, and they decided to take turns keeping the 
stuffed cougar. However, this arrangement turned out not to be to 
their liking. Instead, they decided to divide the stuffed cougar in 
two, and flip a coin for who would get which end. Bill lost, and ended 
up with a mounted trophy of the cougar's rear. So even though shooting 
the cougar was a great sporting victory, Bill thought ... it was 
nothing but a catastrophe.
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
Why Beer Should Be At The Bottom Of
The Fridge
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/index.html
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
 
 














 

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