Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Christmas commenced a 0630 yesterday morning, I think Eva
could have slept a little longer but Buffy wanted to open gifts
so I got dragged out of bed. Eva was a present unwrapping
machine and days of wrapping was torn open in a half hour.
After opening everything except the Bounce and Play, I went
back to bed to grab a few more minutes sleep while Sandy
fixed breakfast and then it was time to head to my mom's house
for Christmas with the family.
We had an incident yesterday that I feel bad about. My mom had a
buffet set up and there was a large crock pot full of meatballs in
a brand new slow cooker that Nancy had picked up with a tempered
clear glass lid. As I moved the lid to get at the meatballs it
scraped
against the ceramic liner and exploded. It destroyed the meatballs
and several other dishes a foot away. Nancy saved the cock pot and
I am sure Wal-Mart will hear about it but I do hope it was a random
thing
and not a design flaw because I never saw one of the old pots
with the heavy glass lids do that before.
I slept very well last night and intend to take it easy all weekend
and
stay home for a change and let my body and the GMC rest for a few
days. I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas too.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phone Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Honey, I was checking your caller ID log on the cell phone
and it shows there was 1784 calls from . . . *Diane* at 555-6969!!!"
"Babe, I didn't answer it a *single* time."
"But your ringer is set for 'Orgasm'!"
"Hon, it never meant a thing. I was thinking about you every time
the phone buzzed!"
"Oh, I just bet you were, mister. Then tell me why you have
the intensity level set to . . . 'Get Everyone Out Of The Office And
Enjoy THIS Call, Bucko!'"
"She was crazy, baby. She got one of those free nights and weekends
and 500 anytime minutes deals and one thing led to another . . . she
wasn't responsible for her actions."
"Bullshit! Admit it! You STAR 69'd her, didn't you?!?"
(Sigh), "Yes, I did. I STAR 69'd her right here on the desk."
"You *bastard*! What's the matter? My analog not as good
as hers?"
"She's digital, all right? Digital. Do you know how long I've been
asking, hell, *begging* you to go digital?"
"Only *sluts* are digital!"
"That's not *true*! Your *mother* is digital!"
"You . . . and my MOTHER??? You *bastard*! I'm taking you
off my speed dial and I never want to hear from you again!"
"Baby, it was good while it lasted. I didn't want it to end this
way. I though you were ready for a new connection, but I see you're
really a rotary at heart."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Hobbitown Golf Course
http://able2laff.
The NEW Marines
http://able2laff.
Personal
http://able2laff.
License Plate
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Life Savers
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Lepraconstipation
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honeymoon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to
go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in
her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the
last
minute. She dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty. She
bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding, the bride and groom entered their hotel room. The
groom was a little self- conscious, so he asked his new bride to
change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready
for
bed. While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase
and
saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there.
"Oh no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!" She exclaimed.
Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SnoreEzzz - Tired of Your Husband or Wife Snoring?
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* Elevates the legs while resting in bed
* FDA approved
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Court Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a rape trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the
defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer
aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer, After
reading the note the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it
and
pass it arnong the rest of the jurors.
One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting
next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to fuck
you like you've never been fucked before."
The juror smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket.
"Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the
judge.
"I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eco Canteen - Be Healthy and Go Green
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Studies are coming out at a rapid rate showing the dangers of
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bear Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farmer Jones lives with his tame bear in the remote
country with only dirt access roads. His tame bear
had been naughty that day so he put him in the barn
and said "you stay here until you learn how to behave yourself".
Shortly afterwards it begin to rain (a real heavy down pour). About
an hour later a travelling salesman got stuck in the mud and asked
the Farmer for a place to stay. The Farmer told him he didn't have
room in the house, however he could stay in the barn. He told the
salesman there were no lights in the barn and his tame bear was in
the barn. The Farmer said the bear would not bother him. The
salesman
went to the barn. Later another travelling salesman got stuck in the
mud and the Farmer told him about the barn-no lights and the tame
bear. Salesmen left for barn. One hour later a woman got stuck in
the
mud and approached the Farmer. He told her about the barn and
mentioned the two travelling salesmen (he was so concerned about the
salesmen he forgot to mention the bear). The woman said I can take
care of myself and left for the barn. Two hours later the Farmer was
awakened by heavy knocking at the door. When opening the door the
woman was standing there with her clothes torn and rumpled. The
Farmer said good heavens what happened to you?. The woman replied I
give up on human nature,the first guy gave me forty dollars,the
second guy gave me fifty dollars,but that cheap bastard in the fur
coat never even said thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zikes! What a year! Joseph forgot to make reservations
at the Bethlehem Inn (his carpentry projects aren't the only thing
made out of wood!). So they stick us in this stable full of stale
hay and stinking animals and guess what??? I go right into labor.
My OB doc said: "Make the trip." Anyway, we have a new baby boy that
we think is truly special. But it's been a madhouse ever since!
First, we can't agree on a name. Joseph likes Immanuel; I'm holding
out for Jesus. Next, all these shepherds stop by to gawk (as if the
smell wasn't bad enough). At least those three camel jockeys brought
gifts (ever try to exchange myrrh without a receipt?) We can't get a
good night's sleep with that stupid star shining through the cracks
in the ceiling, and every store in town is sold out of swaddling.
Well, got to go!
Joseph had another one of his goofy visions so I guess we're
off to Egypt. This time, I make the reservations!
All my love, Mary
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pampered Toes is the new miracle foot therapy product that soothes
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Pampered Toes are waterproof so you can even wear them in the shower
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wisely making firm preparations for their coming marriage, a young
couple visited their physician for advice of their conjugal habits.
The doctor explained the workings of the relevant anatomical
structures, and proceeded to give them a short lecture on sex
hygiene.
When he was finished, he casually asked the brideto-be how many
children she planned on having. "Twelve," she said. "Our marriage is
going to be a happy union." "Happy union, Hell," her fiancee
interrupted. "With twelve kids, it's going to be more like an open
shop."
Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, let her 11-year-
old grandson in from school. "What did you learn today?" she asked.
"Sex education. All about penises and vaginas and intercourse and
stuff," he replied matter-of-factly. The old woman was shocked and
reported the conversation to her daughter. Her daughter replied,
"Mom,
this is the Nineties. These days it's all part of the curriculum." A
few hours later, the grandmother was reading when her daughter
announced that dinner was ready. Grandmother walked past her
grandson's bedroom and noticed him on his bed, vigorously
masturbating. "Sonny," she said, "when you're finished with your
homework, come on downstairs to eat."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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But also great on Ipods, Cameras, Wallets, Closets and anywhere you
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The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
right at your fingertips
You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
Not available in stores!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you and yours
'This Year has been a very trying year for all do to the economy and
all.
This Christmas reminded me of all the great times I shared with
family thru the years
During this time reminded me of all the years passed and reminded me
to keep my faith and hope even during hard times . Remember to
charish everyone you have here and now .
I just wanted to wish each and every one and there families a very
Safe and Happiest of new year to come and I hope you got everything
you wanted for Christmas .
Peace and Love and blessings
Melissa
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
PRESIDENT ELECT EATS CHRISTMAS DINNER WITH MARINES
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The Power Of One Via Juanita
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The Enchanted Place
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Trees
http://home.
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Surfin Surfari
One Hit Wonder
http://www.onehitwo
free cell phone
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Jellyfish Lake
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Newborn Moose
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Wind Snow Rolls
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Ashampoo Burning Studio
http://tinyurl.
Link New Years Links webtv and pc
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new years graphics
http://www.scri8e.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
harassment
http://www.buffalos
home safety
http://www.buffalos
hotdogs
http://www.buffalos
How a daughter pisses off her parents
http://www.buffalos
FordQ1
http://www.buffalos
good gum
http://www.buffalos
Glazen wassert
http://www.buffalos
handyman
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Funny George W Bush At His Best
http://www.buffalos
gagvid0048
http://www.buffalos
gagvid0079
http://www.buffalos
German Ad for Cat Food
http://www.buffalos
Frank Caliend on Letterman http://www.buffalos
friend sare for
http://www.buffalos
From Metcalfe Impossible http://www.buffalos
Funny kids
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PHD Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why G~d Never Received A PhD"
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew. (I.e. not in English)
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt He wrote it by himself.
6. It may be true that He created the world, but
what has He done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating His results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission
to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry He tried to cover
it by drowning His subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He
deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to
read the book.
13. Some say He had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most
of His students failed His tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually
held on a mountain top.
17. No record of working well with colleagues.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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* Polishes and adds incredible shine
* Straightens or curls
* Uses much less heat, won't fry your hair!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
theft by the elves
http://www.thepostm
be careful
http://www.thepostm
down right annoying
http://www.thepostm
Must You Wear Curlers Every Night?
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Mouse Pad For Men
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Michael Jackson Evidence
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scrub King - Cuts Your Cleaning Jobs In Half
Simply attach to any garden hose and you get the only portable
scrubber in the world with the power of a water jet! Easily attach
almost any home steam cleaner and now you have the muscle of the
Scrub KingTM plus the power of steam to Power Clean, Degrease and
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Scrub King Features:
* Clean, Scrub, Brush & Polish
* Works Under Water
* Has More Torque Than Any Other Scrubber
* Nearly 300 Scrubs Per Minute
14 Day Trail
Order Now it's a 14 day Trial
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a young holy roller,
Had a boy friend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.
____________
There is a young woman from Riga
With morals depressingly meager,
She's seduced twice a week
By a lecherous Greek
If "seduced" is the word when she's eager.
____________
There once was a man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.
The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two friends were at a bar discussing life and love. One said, "Would
you believe that out of all the women I've been with not a one of
them was a virgin? It'd be nice if girls saved themselves for
marriage. I think it would cure a big part of the huge divorce
crisis we have."
"Yeah, Jim, I hear you," said the other. "Out of all the women I've
been with I've only had two virgins myself; my wife and yours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PASTA N MORE - The Amazing New 5-in-1 Pasta Cooker!
Cook, Drain and Serve All In One!
Pasta N More is made of certified materials, fits in any microwave,
its dishwasher safe and makes dinner for 1 or a family of 9. The
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lid to keep left-overs fresh and perfect for saving, storing or
reheating meals in an instant.
Offer includes!
* Pasta Pot
* 2 Handles
* Strainer Lid
* Steam Rack
* Storage Lid
* Cookbook
BONUS COLOR CODED KNIVES WHEN YOU ORDER TODAY
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apple announced today that it has developed a
breast implant that can store and play
music.
The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker
size.
This is considered a major social breakthrough,
because women are always complaining about men staring at their
breasts and not listening to them.
Charlie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Rifle is an awesome toy for the holidays!
Your kids and loved ones will have hours of fun and competition.
With plastic BB's, its fun and safe to see who has the best shot! It
comes complete with scope, laser sight, adjustable bipod and
detachable sport stock. The laser sight makes this a sure fire
winner! This toy gun shoots fast and accurate at approximately 200
FPS. The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Spring Sniper Rifle is a full size
rifle and even comes with safety glasses and a starter pack of BBs.
Click here to hear more or buy now:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A moment in history!
A memento of his story!
Introducing the President Barack Obama, Limited edition, Inauguaral
Commemorative Lithograph with certificate of authenticity.
Once only available at the finest art galleries for over $250 now
available to you for only $29.95!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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