THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!  YES YOU CAN... GET YOUR PIECE OF HISTORY TODAY! 2009 is also the 200th anniversary of the birth of President Abraham Lincoln, whose brave actions paved the way for Barack ObamaÕs achievement. What you get! * Clad in 71 mg .999 Fine Silver * Not available in Public circulation * Serial numbered certificate of authenticity * Non-Circulating Liberian Legal Tender * 100% Money Back Guarantee http://www.thepostm  The Mini RC Wall Climber is an utterly astonishing, gravity defying, wall climbing RC car! Amaze your friends and family as you drive to the wall, and then up the wall! Once on the wall, you can turn in all directions just like you do on the floor! This remote controlled RC Mini Wall Climber does just what its name implies, it really does climb up walls! You can drive on windows, doors, walls and just about anything flat! Thanks to industrial fans and the advanced Air Venturi-like system, this zero gravity mini rc wall climber pulls air in under itself - magically holding to the wall while you drive! Drive it straight at the wall, and when it gets there it starts to tilt upwards and at 45 degrees. Then the Mini RC Wall Climber's Traction Technology kicks in, literally sucking the car to the wall. Once on the wall you can drive on the wall - as easy and fast as being on the floor. This Mini RC Wall Climber really defies gravity!!! Click here to hear more or buy now: http://www.thepostm  Get a 12-PACK of GATAORADE, FREE*! Ready. Set. GATORADE! For hydration. For replenishment. For energy. Get your FREE* 12-Pack of GATORADE THIRST QUENCH delivered right to your door. hurry,  Tis the season to go shopping! Shop for all your favorites with a $1000 Apple(R) Store Gift Card ... Yours FREE! You can use your Apple(R) Gift Card for almost anything! Get the latest in iPod(R) accessories and Apple(R) products such as: the new iPod(R) Touch, iHome(TM), iPhone(TM) or even a stylish new iPod(R) Nano! Act now to get your $1000 Apple(R http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford Motor Co.) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing. Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters. The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses. The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US , claiming they can't make money paying American wages. TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US The last quarter's results: TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses. Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses. IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE IT MIGHT BE FUNNY We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS thats nasty http://www.thepostm first generation http://www.thepostm computer dating http://www.thepostm worse than we thought http://www.thepostm a parachute http://www.thepostm separation anxiety http://www.thepostm well, ok... http://www.thepostm doggie treats http://www.thepostm when things get bad http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES An Aussie christmas http://www.thepostm Lucy lastic pants http://www.thepostm the puppet show http://www.thepostm momma and the vibrator http://www.thepostm don't feed the reindeer http://www.thepostm lighting problem:note to self, don't play with lightfixtures while drunk http://www.thepostm angry jack in the box customer-wav file http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF misquito in action http://www.thepostm now thats a movie http://www.thepostm Spoof of the Welch's Grape Juice ads from a few years ago. 20 years older and liqoured up! http://www.thepostm where to find xmas music http://www.thepostm this is what happened http://www.thepostm ____________ POWER POINT DISPLAYS Christmas cheer http://www.thepostm more Christmas cheer http://www.thepostm a small gesture http://www.thepostm ____________ The banana loaf I was making was in the oven when my 16-year-old came into the kitchen where the family had gathered. "That bread smells about done don't you think, Mom?" he asked. I told him I had set the timer and it was fine. A little later he repeated his suggestion. "Mom, I really think that loaf is done. Maybe you should check it." Always quick to come to my defence, my 13-year-old son said, "Eddie, Mom's been burning that banana bread for 20 years now. I think she knows when to take it out." ___________ Tom in deep thoughts is very quiet. Jerry asks, "What is wrong with you, Tom?" "Please don't ask." "I'm your best friend. You can talk to me." "My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant." "That's not possible." "No, he did." "How?" "He punctured my condoms!" ____________ Bernie is walking down High Street in Brooklyn when he notices the following sign in the shop window of 'Moshe's Kosher Emporium' -ALL THE DEVCIES YOU NEED FOR YOUR HOEM So he goes inside and asks to see Moshe. "Can I help you, sir?" Moshe asks Bernie. "I just wanted to point out that you have two spelling errors in the sign you have in your window." "Yes, I know," says Moshe. "It's a deliberate marketing policy. You see, we get around a dozen people coming in here each day to point this out to us, and of these, at least 3 or 4 buy something. And now that you're in here, sir, can I interest you in our special low price for a kitchen table and four chairs?" ____________ A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn't eat. The Doctor explained to the man that as ducks age their upper bills grow down over their lower bills and make it difficult for the animal to pick up it's food. "What you need to do is gently file the upper bill down even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck's nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it'll drown." The man goes about his business and about a week later the Doctor runs into his patient. "Well, how is that duck of yours?" the Doctor inquires. "He's dead." declared the heartbroken man. "I told you not to file his upper bill down too far! He took a drink of water and drowned didn't he?" insisted the Doctor. "No." lamented the man. "I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise." ____________ A newly married couple came home from their honeymoon and moved into the upstairs apartment they'd rented from the groom's parents. That night, his wife awakened the father of the groom from his sleep. "Tony, listen!" she whispered. He listened. Upstairs, the bed was creaking in rhythm. The wife said, "Come on, Tony! Let's make love!" So Tony climbed on top of his wife, and pounded the old bone home. As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again. "Come on, Tony!" said the wife. "Let's make love again!" Once again, Tony climbed on top of his wife and screwed her as hard as he could. As he was trying to fall back asleep 15 minutes later, the bed upstairs started creaking in rhythm again. "Come on, Tony!" said the wife. "Let's do it again!" So Tony grabbed a broom and pounded on the ceiling as he shouted, "Hey, kids, cut it out! You're killing your old man down here!" ____________ BUFFALO Bill New Member FUN PAGES from Lorraine Asleep 19 Years http://tinyurl. Message From God http://tinyurl. Harry Potter Bible http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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