Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo says I have used this story several times before to show how
the spirit of Christmas can overcome even the hostilities of war
when both sides believe. I am glad to have Ross recount his version
today.
Hello, Folks...Ross here! ((o:
Whilst I do not think Don of Indy can verify the authenticity
of
this,
it IS an interesting read!!
Stories tell of the British and German soldiers playing
football
together
in No Man's Land on Christmas day are true. The Christmas truce of
1914 really happened and on some far greater scale than has been
generally realized. Enemy really did meet enemy between the
trenches. There was, for a time, genuine peace in No Man's Land.
Though Germans and British were the main participants, French and
Belgians took part as well. Most of those involved agreed it was a
remarkable way to spend Christmas.
"Just you think," wrote one British soldier, "that while you
were
eating
your turkey, etc, I was out talking and shaking hands with the very
men I had been trying to kill a few hours before! It was
astounding!"
"It was a day of peace in war," commented a German
participant, "It
is
only a pity that it was not decisive peace." NCOs and officers often
joined
in
with equal readiness, while others truces were initiated and the
terms of armistice agreed at 'parlays' of officers between the
trenches.
The situation in the 1914 trenches was very grave! Barely
five months after the outbreak of the war, nearly a million soldiers
and civilians were
already
dead. The assassination of Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand that
June had plunged Europe into its bloodiest war to date, with no end
in sight. The
armies
of the Allied and Central Powers were grimly deadlocked, facing each
other across a series of trenches that stretched more than 400 miles
from the English Channel to Switzerland. On the Western Front that
December, it rained almost every day; in some places, the water was
5 feet deep. Armies
of
rats and mice shared the trenches. As Christmas approached, millions
of mud- covered troops were shivering, frightened, and homesick.
The starting of this Christmas truce was very amazing! It
bubbled up
from
the ranks, with both armies making small gestures of good will in
the days before Dec. 25. Near Armentières, France, some Germans
suggested a brief, local cease-fire, even sweetening the deal with a
chocolate cake. Along the
Lys
River, a battalion of Welsh infantrymen hoisted a banner reading
"Merry Christmas," accompanied by a sketch of Kaiser Wilhelm II.
Then, as temperatures dropped below freezing on Christmas Eve, the
guns in many sectors fell silent, and thousands of British soldiers
heard something they would never forget.
The British heard the haunting sound of Germans singing
Stille Nacht (Silent Night). Through the gloom, the British could
also see the flames of candles dotting the branches of makeshift
Christmas trees like the
footlights
of a theater, said one amazed Tommy. Up and down the line the
British, moved by the holiday spirit, responded with carols of their
own; following each selection, the other side would cheer and
applaud. Soon, greetings of Happy Christmas! You no shoot, we no
shoot! and Come over here! echoed across no mans land.
Slowly, cautiously, the two armies crept out into the
shell-blasted landscape. What both sides found was that the other
side had ordinary men like themselves. Once they had broken the ice
with greetings and handshakes, they started talking about their
homes, their jobs, their families. Many
realized
that they bore each other no real enmity, that they were merely
pawns in a struggle beyond their control. Gifts were exchanged;
English corned beef and German cigars were particularly popular.
"Where they couldn't talk the language," wrote Cpl. John Ferguson of
the 2nd Battalion, Seaforth
Highlanders,
"they were making themselves understood by signs. Here we were
laughing and chatting to men whom only a few hours before we were
trying to kill!"
The camaraderie for a short time spread. On Christmas Day,
thousands of unarmed men from both sides again emerged from the
trenches, having agreed to use the daylight to collect their dead.
This time, the enemy soldiers swapped pieces of equipment and parts
of their uniforms. Many shared photographs of their families and
took pictures of themselves with
their
new friends. We are at any rate having another truce on New Years
Day, Lt. Dougan Chater of the 2nd Battalion, Gordon Highlanders,
wrote in a letter,
as
the Germans want to see how the photos come out. In some places,
combatants even played soccer with makeshift balls.
The truce was pretty widespread. Where Britons faced Germans,
more than two-thirds of the troops made temporary peace. On the
Eastern Front, one group of Austrians and Russians reportedly played
leapfrog with one another. The French and Belgians were far less
charitable; the Hun, after
all,
had viciously invaded their homeland. So some French officers
defiantly ordered attacks on Christmas Day. We opened rapid fire on
them, wrote one captain, which is the only sort of truce they
deserve. Yet in most places,
the
sound of gunfire was replaced by the sounds of Christmas.
The Commanders of both sides were not very happy about the
truce. When word got back to them, they were appalled. On Boxing Day
(Dec. 26), British Gen. Sir Horace Smith-Dorrien ordered that on no
account is
intercourse
to be allowed between the opposing troops. On Dec. 29, the German
High Command forbade all fraternization, warning that it would be
punished as
high
treason. So with great reluctance, the troops said goodbye and
ambled back to their trenches, dreading what was to come. Though
many had fantasized that their gestures might lead to an armistice,
they knew it was a futile
dream.
In some cases, a single shot on Dec. 26 was enough to get the war
going again. The informal ceasefire stretched all across the
500-mile western
front
where more than a million men were encamped, from the Belgian coast
as far as the Swiss border. The truce was especially warm along a
30-mile line around the Belgian town of Ypres, Jrgs notes. Not
everybody, though, approved.
One Austrian soldier billeted near Ypres complained that in
wartime
such
an understanding "should not be allowed". His name was Adolph
Hitler.
It was also said that in certain areas when the war resumed
that
those
facing each other at the front had to be sent to the rear because
they
couldn't
kill each other. This Christmas peace also showed that when enemies
really see each other they see each other as brothers and don't
understand why they are killing each other. Certainly this is what
Christmas is all about, God's peace in all of us! This is what
happened in the hearts of men on both
sides
in the trenches on the Christmas of 1914.
<end article>
Folks, I am kinda ... mortified that two national forces --
even
united forces
-- could call a 24-hour truce like this to allow the celebration of
a sacred
day.
YOUR feelings??
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN....
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
Once again thank you to all that took the time and money to send me
a
snail mail or virtual card. I appreciate hearing from all of you and
wish you
all a Merry Christmas or the Happy Chanukah or Happy Kwanza. The
spirit
of love and peace that our Lord has given us fills everyone's hearts
at
this season and I am proud to have been a part of your lives this
year.
buffalo
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THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (CAJUN STYLE)
Day 1
Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
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grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
Day 2
Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
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some gumbo out of dem.
Day 3
Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I'm tired of eating
dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to Mrs.
Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her
fighting rooster.
Day 4
Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez four,
what you call "calling bird" wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
da' way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed
the rest of dem to the gators.
Day 5
Dear Emile, You finally sent something useful. I liked dem golden
rings, me. I hocked dem at da' pawn shop in Sulphur and got enough
money to fix the shaft on my shrimp boat, and to buy a round for
da boys at the Raisin' Cane Lounge.
Merci Beaucoup!
Day 6
Dear Emile, Couchon! Back to da birds, you coonass turkey! Poor
egg sucking Phideaux is scared to death ah dem six goose. He try
to eat they eggs and they pecked the heck out ah his snout. Dem
goose are damm good at eating cockroach around da' house, though.
I may stuff one ah dem goose with erster dressing to serve him on
Christmas Day.
Day 7
Dear Emile, I'm gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you.
Ole Boudreaux, da mailman, is ready to kill you, too. The crap
from all dem bird is stinkin up his mailboat. He afraid someone
will slip on dat stuff and gonna sue him. I let dem seven swan
loose to swim on da bayou and some stupid duck hunter from
Mississippi done blasted dem out da water. Talk to you tomorrow.
Day 8
Dear Emile, Poor ole Boudreaux had to make 3 trips on his mail-
boat to deliver dem 8 maids-a-milking & der cows. One of dem cows
got spooked by da alligators and almost tipped over da boat.
I doan like dem shiftless maids, me. I told dem to get to work
gutting fish and sweeping my shack--but dey say it wasn't
in their contract. They probably tink they too good to skin all
dem nutria I caught las night.
Day 9
Dear Emile, What you trying to do? Boudreaux had to borrow da
Cameron Ferry to carry these jumping twits you call lords-a-
leaping across da bayou. As soon as dey got here dey wanted
a tea break and crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I
says, "Well la di da. You get Chicory coffee or nuthin." Mon
Dieux, Emile, what I'm gonna feed all these bozos? They too
snooty for fried nutria, and da cow ate up all my turnip green.
Day 10
Dear Emile, You got to be out of you mind. If da mailman don't
kill you, I will. Today he deliver 10 half nekkid floozies from
Bourbon Street. Dey said they be "ladies dancing" but they
doan act like ladies in front of dem Limey sailing boys. Dey
almost left after one of them got bit by a water moccasin over
by my out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed toute le
monde (everybody) and get toilet paper rolls. The Sears catalog
wasn't good enough for dem hoity toity lords. Talk at you tomorrow.
Day 11
Dear Emile, Where Y'at? Cherio and pip pip. You 11 Pipers Piping
arrived today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got
off da boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jumbalaya, finished
da whiskey, and we're having a fais-do-do. Da' new mailman
drank a bottle of Jack Daniel, and he's having a good old time
dancing with the floozies. Da' old mailman done jump off the
Moss Bluff Bridge yesterday, screaming you name. If you happen
to get a mysterious-looking, ticking package in da mail, don't
open it.
Day 12
Dear Emile, Me I'm sorry to tell you--but I am not your true love
anymore. After the fais-do-do, I spent da night with Jacques, the
head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemen's club
on the bayou. The floozies--pardon me--ladies dancing can make
$20 for a table dance, and the lords can be the waiters and valet
park da boats. Since da' maids have no more cows to milk, I
trained dem to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, and run
my shrimping business. We'll probably gross a million dollars
next year.
BJ
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almost any home steam cleaner and now you have the muscle of the
Scrub KingTM plus the power of steam to Power Clean, Degrease and
Sanitize!
Scrub King Features:
* Clean, Scrub, Brush & Polish
* Works Under Water
* Has More Torque Than Any Other Scrubber
* Nearly 300 Scrubs Per Minute
14 Day Trail
Order Now it's a 14 day Trial
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Holiday Limericks from Celebrities
Charlie Sheen:
It's the holiday season, I know,
So after doing a few lines of "snow,"
I'll be sufficiently high
To head downtown and buy
My 3 favorite gifts: Ho, ho, ho.
Dennis Miller:
Since my rhetoric often belittles,
This Christmas I offer acquittals.
I will pay more attention,
And eschew condescension
Of what others' opinions... hey, Skittles!
Monica Lewinsky:
For Christmas, I wanted to go
Back to my old job -- but you know,
As an intern, I'm spent,
'Cause this new president
Has a new definition of "blow."
Stephen King:
Here in Maine, the long winters serene,
Turn to white everything that was green.
But a Christmastime fest
Just makes me depressed.
How much longer till it's Halloween???
The breasts of a barmaid of Crale,
Were tattooed with the price of brown ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille
<Thanks, Stan>
____________
A young man from a lofty sierra
Found sex both a puzzle and terror.
But he met with a lass
In a similar pass
And they both learned--by trial and error.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.
The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Holiday Hangover
In case you don't know what a hangover is:
A hangover is when you open your eyes in the
morning and you wish you hadn't."
A good cure for a hangover is to drink black coffee
the night before instead of the morning after.
The best days not to drink are days that end in the letter, "Y".
But just in case you find yourself with a whopper of a
hangover try one of the followig cures....they'
work.
YOODOO VOODOO CURE
Those spun out Haitan voodoo people recommend
sticking thirteen black pins in the cork of the offending bottle.
Worth a try. Harder with twist tops.
SPIN OUT CURE
When you go to bed at night after a long night of drinking
and you have the spins there is a cure...put one foot on
the ground and keep one in bed.
WILD WEST HARE DOO CURE
Apparently, in the Wild Wild West, whisky-swilling
cowboys swore by a stiff cup of rabbit-poo tea.
As if that morning breath wasn't bad enough already.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PASTA N MORE - The Amazing New 5-in-1 Pasta Cooker!
Cook, Drain and Serve All In One!
Pasta N More is made of certified materials, fits in any microwave,
its dishwasher safe and makes dinner for 1 or a family of 9. The
unique design swirls the water and not the pasta quickly cooking it
to a perfect al dente texture! Youll receive the air-tight storage
lid to keep left-overs fresh and perfect for saving, storing or
reheating meals in an instant.
Offer includes!
* Pasta Pot
* 2 Handles
* Strainer Lid
* Steam Rack
* Storage Lid
* Cookbook
BONUS COLOR CODED KNIVES WHEN YOU ORDER TODAY
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young Pauly found a girlfriend, but neither one of them knew what to
do
about sex (one would have thought it's intuitive, but there you have
it). They went to Maury for advice, and Maury told the young woman
to
undress and get on the bed and he would show them what to do.
The young woman undressed as she was told by Maury and preceded to
get
on the bed. Experienced Maury then began to show them the steps
involved in making love, in every possible position. When he was
finished, he said to Pauly, "Now you can take her home and practice
what I have shown you."
The young woman said, "Wait a minute Maury, show him again what to
do... he is a little forgetful."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Rifle is an awesome toy for the holidays!
Your kids and loved ones will have hours of fun and competition.
With plastic BB's, its fun and safe to see who has the best shot! It
comes complete with scope, laser sight, adjustable bipod and
detachable sport stock. The laser sight makes this a sure fire
winner! This toy gun shoots fast and accurate at approximately 200
FPS. The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Spring Sniper Rifle is a full size
rifle and even comes with safety glasses and a starter pack of BBs.
Click here to hear more or buy now:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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