Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I am including Larry Katz's story that he wrote for us
three years ago. After you read it please take a second
to ponder the similarities between this attack and 9-11-01. Even
those who were not born yet can imagine the surprise, horror ,
camaraderie, anger, and retaliation that parallel both events.
Tuesday Dec.7th,2004,
the highlight of my life(Dec.7th,
58 years, also to the same women). What happened on Dec 7th,1941? I
was in the United States Navy, a third class radio operator
stationed in Oahu, Honolulu, pulling duty in Fleet Air Wing
2,Communications.
was a Catalina Squadron flying PBY's, however my ability to receive
and transmit CW, (Morse Code) put me in the Communication Office on
Temp. Duty. ( I was able to send and receive code at a fast rate at
that time as a third class radioman at around 33 words per minute)
This gives you all a background of my status. As you know by now, my
birthday was on the 4th of Dec,23 years old.1941 time....Two of my
close shipmates and I decided to go to town that day of December
6th,1941 to celebrate my happy day of Dec 4th).Two days late but
what the heck, we had lots of time. The night of the 6th,we decided
to stay in town as we all had liberty until 4 PM on
Dec.7th,1941.
joint called the Rendezvous in Waikiki Beach....We could not find a
place that night to flake out so we went back to our locker club (
that is where most of the servicemen on the Island went to change
from our uniforms to Civies ) the name of the locker club was called
"Battleship Max Cohen's Locker Club. Right next to the YMCA, and
across from the famous Black Cat Café, where mostly all service men
ate. We slept on top of the wooden lockers that night. On Sunday
Dec,7th,1941 the three of us got up around 7,went across the street
(Hotel Street ) to the Black Cat Cafe had our breakfast ( like bacon
and eggs, grits, hash browns, toast , coffee, all for twenty-five or
thirty five cents, still have their menu)....After breakfast went
out and walked around a little park from the cafe. About 7:55 AM,
heard the loudest booms and a large plate glass window from one of
the buildings surrounding the park fell out and crashed on the
ground. From where we were standing looked what to me seemed north (
was to my right) looked up in the air towards the Pearl Harbor Navy
Yard , saw lots of smoke and planes in the air and we all thought
that it was some kind of a drill....Just about that time some one
passed by and he had a RCA ( funny, we still remember that) trans
oceanic over seas radio, and heard the announcer repeat over and
over again for all military personnel to report back to their bases
immediately. We were told to Commandeer any transportation on hand
and get back to our bases. The locker club was right across from the
park we were in, so we ran across the street up the steps to our
lockers, put on our blouses, white hats, and found a cab and headed
back to Ford Island across the channel from the Navy Yard. While
going back to our base,( don't remember what the avenue or street
name was called, but think it was Kameahmea Blvd.}. I repeat this
again, We still did not know what was going on. We looked ahead of
us towards Ford Island, the Navy Yard, Hickham Field and the rest
and saw all the smoke and what ever. We still did not know what in
the hell was going on. The cab driver said something like a big
fight was going on, but to us New Yorkers we knew nada. Just as we
got close to Hickham Field the three of us sitting in the back seat
heard what sounded like the clicking of typewriter keys, not the
typewriters we have today that don't make sounds, but the old
fashioned typewriters that clicked every time you hit a key) I was
sitting on the left side of the cab, Harold was in the middle, and
George was on the right side) I turned towards Harold, looked out
the back window of the cab, and saw this plane coming down the
highway with red streaks coming out the wings heading right for us.
I remarked to Harold "What in the hell is that", and that New Yorker
did not know either, and about that time, the plane slipped to our
right, banked to the left and went down the strip of Hickham Field.
When the plane slipped to the right to make his bank to Hickham, I
saw a big red ball, and also saw this red stripe going down the side
of the plane and heard the cab driver say jap.. The driver then
pulled over to his right close to a ditch, we opened the doors to
the cab and ran down the road towards the Navy Yard which wasn't to
far from Hickham's gate. The Marine Sentries waved us through, ran
down to the landings to get some kind of transportation to get us
across the channel to Ford Island which was in the middle of the
harbor but all launches were out picking up survivors off ships that
were hit and being hit .The three of us did not know what to do as
we did not belong there in the Navy Yard.
So Harold and I turned left and ran towards three ships that were in
dry dock. The three ships were the USS. Pennsylvania, a line
battleship, behind two destroyers, the USS Cassin, and the USS
Downes.
About that time the Cassin and Downes got hit, Cassin got the brunt
of it, and right across the harbor the USS Shaw got it. The time all
this happened is still a big blur. We two helped anyway we could,
pulling bodies, handling hoses, or what ever.
Just about that time here comes another group of planes heading
towards us, and the two of us Harold and Iran for any type of cover
we could find. At that time don't know what happened to George, as
he did not follow Harold and I. I found an excavation hole ( not a
bomb hit hole but some kind of pit). I jumped into it, started
piling big rocks on me, as there was so much metal flying around, I
covered myself as much as I could and waited until the shooting and
yelling stopped. When it did stop, I climbed out of the pit or hole
and looked around for my buddy Harold. Could not find him
anyplace...There was a flat bed train along side the USS
Pennsylvania loading 16" shells .Yes you are right ,my buddy Harold
was hiding under the flat bed with all those 16" shells. When I
showed Harold what he was hiding under, this Harold Donahue, my red
headed big old Irishman buddy from Brooklyn, turned white as a
sheet. This is just an aside of what can happen even when there is a
crisis and we can have a laugh. Just about that time, the USS Nevada
was pulling out of the channel trying to get out of the way of
sinking and blocking the channel so other ships could finally make
it out. I and my friend Harold let out a roar with the rest of the
sailors and marines to the Nevada to go,go,go.We were about 300
yards from the ship as it was hit and pulling out and it made the
beach in front of it and it did not block the Channel. A note. this
was during the second attack ,but we all were too busy doing what
ever we could to help. As so many of us were on liberty the night
before and could not reach our General Quarters station.(mine was in
the Comm.Office)
find a launch to take us back to Ford Island. When I put my foot
ashore on Ford Island ( again this was in the middle of the channel
where all our battleships were tied up, or should I say what was
left of them). My first impression was to see our squadron hangers
and our PBY's in ruins,VP22's part of the hanger was hit first, this
was our sister squadron as my squadron was VP21,....For some of you,
there are lots of books out showing pictures of our squadron hangers
and the ships that I just described. also when I got back to Ford
Island and saw my barracks which was alongside of Battleship row,
and my bunk on the second deck(floor) on the Lanai, (Porch) facing
the USS California sitting on its Keel right outside, sitting on the
waterline from the Navy Yard to Ford Island,( we had no water from
main side for days, but drank water from the pool, after distilling,
lots of Sodas and Beers and what ever water we got from the Main
Side) Do you all know, that even up to now, I honestly don't
remember seeing the Arizona. I have one of my close friends' brother
still entombed on it. I must have visited it while I was there, but
that is one thing I cannot remember. I do remember going to the
hospital to see where one of the jap bombs fell in the middle of the
rear court yard and was a dud. Back to the ending, When I went back
to my Communication Office on Ford Island, my officer in Charge who
was a Warrant Officer ( that's an enlisted man who made an Officer
below an Ensign ( hope all these ratings are correct ) ( Oh yes,
please forgive my spelling and grammar) . Anyway he looked at me and
said "Katz where in the hell have you been"....That was and is the
first time I broke down.....My whites were muddy, had blood on it
and I must have looked like hell.....Don'
do remember what he said. He told me to go topside change into
dungarees and take over a circuit. To those that don't know what a
circuit is, it is a station in front of a transmitter and receiver,
whether it was from Washington, Australia or what ever. I went
topside where I had my sack and locker, changed into dungarees, (
today it is called jeans). came down below, got on a circuit called
NSS.I remained there from Sunday,Dec,7th,
Dec,9th,sleeping on the deck ( floor) for a few hours every chance
we got. You all have to remember, we all thought the japs would
invade us at anytime and they could have, as we were so
unprepared..
the high lights.
Larry Katz
buffalo says I hope you are all enjoying your weekend. It is cold up
here
but most of the snow has missed us. Watching the Lions-Viking game
and for not having won a game this season they are showing some
spirit
today. Who knows they might even win one.
buffalo
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12 Day Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
December 14, 2008 My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge
in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a
hundred times for thinking of me this way.
My love always, Agnes
============
December 15, 2008 Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two
turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They
are just adorable.
All my love, Agnes
============
December 16, 2008 Dear John:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't
deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling
but I must insist, you've been too kind.
All my love, Agnes
============
December 17, 2008 Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are
beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too
romantic.
Affectionately, Agnes
============
December 18, 2008 Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one
forevery finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly,
all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love, Agnes
============
December 19, 2008 Dear John:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on
my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese
are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are
complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially, Agnes
============
December 20, 2008 John:
What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming.
What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house
and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a
nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.
Sincerely, Agnes
============
December 21, 2008 O.K. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8
maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a
milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all
over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me,
smartass.
Agnes
============
December 22, 2008 Hey Shithead:
What are you.....some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers
playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing
those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are
getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds.
What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to
evict me.
You'll get yours !
Agnes
============
December 23, 2008 You rotten prick:
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts
ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the
cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river
of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give
cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. I'm calling the
police on you !
Agnes
============
December 24, 2008 Listen Fuckhead:
What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maid and ladies?
Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through
the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-
three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the
orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
You're sworn enemy, Agnes
============
December 25, 2008 Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling
which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes
McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All
correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt
to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants
have been instructed to shoot you on sight.
With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pope Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, none of
whom
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four
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Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is
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condition?" The Pope smiled and replied, "Big tits."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Fly Chips
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A young boy is standing on a street corner swatting flies.
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"Tits on a nun, balls on a priest, and these fucking flies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM MICHIGAN AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY
BEER AND WATCH THIS SHIT.'
Rose
A man was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised
herself as a man and was able to join the army.
"But, wait a minute," said one listener, "She'll have to dress with
the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well, won't they find out?"
The man shrugged, "Sure, but who'll tell?"
After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the
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dragged him to his house and confronted his mother.
"It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their
sexuality by playing doctor at their age," the neighbor said.
"Sexuality?!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
From the Executive Offices of Playgirl, Inc.
Dear Buffalo:
We wish to thank you for your letter and Polaroid
photo which we recently received. We regret, however,
that we will not be able to use your photo as our
"Playgirl's Man of the Month".
When rated by our AAW (Avaricious American Women) on
a scale of 1-10, your body was rated a minus 2 (-2).
The panel is comprised of widowed females ranging in
ages from 50 - 75 years old who have been deprived of
sexual activity for a minimum of five years.
To confirm your below average rating, we submitted your photograph
to a second panel, the HUHA (Horny Undersexed Housewives of
America), whose age range from 25 - 35. However, we could not get
them to contain their laughter long enough to rate you. Please be
assured, that should the tastes of American women deteriorate so
drastically that a body such as yours would be in demand, you will
be notified. Meanwhile, please do not call us, we will call you.
Sincerely,
PLAYGIRL INC.
P.S. It pains us to inform you, that had your photo been
used, the staple holding our centerfold together would have
completely obstructed what you refer to as your "love tool of the
21st Century".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee
elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular
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Then Mrs Claus told Santa her mother was coming to
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When he went to harness the reindeer, he found
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Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the
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Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated
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tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas,
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And so began the tradition of the little angel on
top of the Christmas tree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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strengthen your bond with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, look no
further.
This rare item is very limited, don't miss your chance! To get yours
now, click here:
http://buffaloschip
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Toon Chips
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junk mail
http://www.thepostm
care bear
http://www.thepostm
shoddy
http://www.thepostm
Computer Dating
http://buffalosjoke
Big Bust
http://buffalosjoke
Discipline
http://buffalosjoke
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TWIST & JUICE - The Revolutionary new way to make FRESH JUICE
In just 10 seconds or less Guaranteed!
The secret is in Twist and Juice's unique multiblade design, that
ensures you get every last drop of wholesome juice, every time!
Included in your offer:
* The revolutionary Twist and Juice.
* The family sized Twist and Juice.
* The top 20 juice for health recipe guide.
Order Now
http://buffaloschip
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Limerick Chips
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This gal I know is like a bowling ball.
First, she gets picked up,
Then fingered,
Then thrown in the gutter
And the bitch keeps coming back for more!
____________
There once was a woman named Ann
Who was said to be quite like a man.
When nature did call,
She ran down the hall,
And went to the gentleman's can.
____________
There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,
'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"
Snagged by>
Ross
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Mighty Mendit - Does it All!
It's the Fast Easy Way to Mend, Hem & Wear it Again
No More Sewing
- Mighty Mendit is a flexible bonding agent that permanently mends
fabrics with just a touch
Save Money
- Don't buy new. Repair curtains, furniture and more with ease
Repair Clothes & Fabrics
- Don't Discard it, Mighty Mendit
Order today and we will double your order
http://buffaloschip
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Parting Chips
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There was a Chinese father named Cheng who was very close to his
son. They used to go everywhere together including looking
for "birds" (Chinese slang for prostitute). One day, Chung the son
decided to go overseas for study. The father was very supportive,
and before his son left, the father told him, "Chung we cannot look
for chicken together for the next few years. However, if you need to
look for chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please
state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mother will not
suspect." So the son left, and after a month, the father received
the
bill from Chung, the son,......(shooting bird - $300). Subsequently,
and for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is more than
$700. Well, the father could not tolerate this, so he wrote to his
son. "Chung Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some
cheaper one". A month later, Cheng, the father, received another
bill from his son. On it he had written:
Shooting Bird - $50
Rifle Repair - $2,000
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WOW - The Interchangeable Mix & Match Storage System
Make storage a snap with these easy to use containers. Dishwasher &
Microwave Safe!
With WOW Containers you can:
* Mix and match sizes
* Always have room at the top
* Keep food fresh
* Stop losing lids
Includes 40 Containers:
* 22 two cup containers
* 10 four cup containers
* 6 eight cup containers
* 2 bonus twelve cup containers
Buy 1 Set Get 1 Free!
Order Now
http://buffaloschip
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Bonus Chip
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Father Christmas was in the Grotto, when after days of young
children filing past, he was confronted by a lovely looking eighteen
year old girl.
She sits herself down on Santa's knee and he asks her what she wants
for Christmas. She says, "Well Santa, I've got no pubic hairs on my
pussy,and I wondered if you could get me some for Christmas?"
Santa replies, "Well I don't know, if I can get you Pubic hairs on
your Pussy, will white whiskers do?"
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TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!
What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
http://buffaloschip
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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