THE POSTMAN'S CORNER The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. Thomas Jefferson  7,500 - Guaranteed Instant Approval! *NO Credit Checks *NO Employment Verification *NO Annual Fees, EVER *NO Interest, EVER There are no finance charges and you will never pay interest, so it's the perfect card to help repair your credit. We report a new credit source to major credit bureaus. http://www.thepostm  OPTIC1050 Power Binoculars.. 1000% Power Lens, just $29.95 plus $7.95 s&h. Money Back Guarantee! 90-Day Risk Free Trial The Optic 1050 binoculars, with up to 1000x magnification will allow you to see objects up to 35 miles away! The lightweight, rugged and durable Optic 1050 binoculars are only $29.98 and just $7.95 s&h. These super lightweight binoculars easily adjust to your eyes, are shock resistant with shatterproof lenses and feature wide-angle viewing. 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Buy 1 get 1 Free http://www.thepostm Good morning postman fans! It is amazing how companies are changing the way they do business these days. Higher fuel prices, layoffs, shortfalls in consumer spending, all of these add up to a new economy. Tampax has even changed the way they do business. For the first time, they are resorting to holiday season specialty sales. A company spokesman, In fact, has announced today that they will be replacing the cord on their tampons with a piece of tinsel. This will be for the christmas period only. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS overcoming handicaps http://www.thepostm getting desperate http://www.thepostm time to play texas hold em http://www.thepostm male multitasking http://www.thepostm g'nite honye-- http://www.thepostm Santa makes an important decision http://www.thepostm now showing http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES husband daycare http://www.thepostm choke a smurf http://www.thepostm the seamonster http://www.thepostm new from Glade http://www.thepostm excersize of the brain http://www.thepostm different sex positions http://www.thepostm do you remember when? http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF how sexy are you http://www.thepostm tazer training http://www.thepostm Bob's sister was one of the most popular girls in Manhattan. She had more boyfriends then she knew what to do with and she never wanted for a thing. Bob was always in debt and constantly asking his sister for spending money. "I don't understand you, Bob," she said in obvious annoyance one afternoon when he tried to put the bite on her for a 10 spot. "I don't have any trouble saving money, so why should you?" "Sure, sure," he said, " But you've got money coming in all the time from the very thing that's keeping me broke." ____________ A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this. By the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework." ____________ The pastor had launched into one of his "Best Ever" messages. He was about half done, at the 45-minute mark and just getting to the "good part," when a member of his congregation died. Rushing to his office, he dialed 911. When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics carried out 51 people before they finally got one who didn't wake up when they got him to fresh air. ____________ Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear? A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night. Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? A: Because, they are tired of using their own. Q: What's common between men and video? A: Both go backward...forward. ...backward. ..forward. ..backward. ....forward. .. Stop and eject. Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble. Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction? A: A teabag. ____________ Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The man from Nova Scotia fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The man from Saskatchewan reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The Newfoundlander started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' The Newfie replied, 'These are Carols.' ____________ A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. Hesays to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over,tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave hera wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later thatnight, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetiea nudge, and we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until Icouldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gaveher a little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiledsweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal." "A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean aperformance? " "No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes." ____________ Christmas Carols For The Psychologically Challenged 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are 3. Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ... 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire 8. Full Personality Disorder-- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why 9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ... FUN PAGES from Lorraine Flatulent Marilyn Monroe New Obama Girl http://tinyurl. PAPA Thorn Strange menu item http://able2laff. BUFFALO Bill Winner Gets on Top http://www.buffalos One Sick Joke http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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