Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
For those of you that enjoy the monthly holiday list Bonnie
in South Carolina sent a list of famous birthdays for the month.
December
1. Woody Allen, Bette Midler, Lee Trevino
2. Britney Spears, Tracy Austin, Monica Seles
3. Katarina Witt, Jean-Luc Goddard, Ozzy Osbourne
4. Jeff Bridges, Marisa Tomei
5. Walt Disney, Little Richard
6. Steven Wright, Dwight Stones
7. Johnnie Bench, Larry Bird, Gregg Allman
8. Kim Bassinger, Teri Hatcher, Jim Morrison
9. Dick Butkus, Kirk Douglas, Donnie Osmond
10. Emily Dickinson, Susan Dey
11. Donna Mills, Fiorella La Guardia, Teri Garr
12. Frank Sinatra, Bob Barker
13. Dick Van Dyke, Christopher Plummer
14. Michael Ovitz, Nostradamus
15. Don Johnson, Mo Vaughn
16. Ludwig Von Beethoven, Jane Austen
17. William Safire, Arthur Fiedler
18. Keith Richards, Christina Aguilera, Steven Spielberg
19. Reggie White, Daryl Hannah
20. Anita Baker, Kiefer Sutherland
21. Chris Evert, Florence Griffith Joyner, Jane Fonda
22. Steve Carlton, Steve Garvey
23. Susan Lucci
24. Ricky Martin, Howard Hughes, Ava Gardner
25. Ricky Henderson, Annie Lennox, Sir Isaac Newton
26. Alan King, Steve Allen
27. Gerard Depardieu, Sydney Greenstreet, Louis Pasteur
28. Ray Bourque, Woodrow Wilson, Denzel Washington
29. Mary Tyler Moore, Ted Danson
30. Sandy Koufax, Bo Diddley, Tiger Woods
31. Val Kilmer, Anthony Hopkins, Ben Kingsley
I know someone will mention that they forgot Jesus but December 25th
has been disputed for many years, although I guess it is as good as
any
other. Yesterday's list also was missing Hanukkah which begins this
year on December 22.
I ran across a new program yesterday called Can-it that is able to
sort spam by the country of origin. That would stop the spam we are
receiving that uses our own address in the from spot that is coming
out of China, Russia, Vietnam,etc. It is designed for ISP level so
we
would never see the spam.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: There must be some way to stop all this spam I'm getting
lately!
Jill: Why would you want to stop it? OH! Did you say "spam"
or "sperm"?
Bill: Did I tell you about the worst blowjob I ever got?
Doug: No I don't think so.
Bill: Yeah, it was great.
While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display
in
the window of a lingerie store caught my eye.
"Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed
to the lacy pyjamas with matching robe.
"No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never
wear that!"
"Would you like to hear my sexual philosophy?" the boss asked the
new
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I don't know
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Ervs bait shop
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stop that!
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Ass Kickers
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Life Is About Ass
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob's sister was one of the most popular girls in Manhattan. She had
more boyfriends then she knew what to do with and she never wanted
for
a thing. Bob was always in debt and constantly asking his sister for
spending money. "I don't understand you, Bob," she said in obvious
annoyance one afternoon when he tried to put the bite on her for a
10
spot. "I don't have any trouble saving money, so why should you?"
"Sure, sure," he said, " But you've got money coming in all the time
from the very thing that's keeping me broke."
An elderly couple was sitting on the out porch when the husband
turned
to his wife and, "Muffin, I feel like making love tonight" The wife
replied, "Ok Ernest, I will let you, but be gentle this time." "But
I
am always gentle with you, dearest," "That's not true, she replied,
"the last time you woke me up TWICE!"
Lola, a saleswoman for a major condom company was required to travel
cross-country to meet a prospective buyer. Her boss asked her to
take
about 100 condoms of various types with her.As she was running late
for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into her briefcase. The
cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic and she had just
enough
time to throw her ticket at the counter and run onto the plane. As
she
jumped into the airplane, she dropped her briefcase and all the
condoms flew out all over the floor in front of all the passengers
and
crew. They all stared amazed at the display and then looked at Lola,
who said sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client."
Satn Kegel
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Heaven Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three married guys die and meet St.Peter at the pearly gates. Peter
asks the first guy, "Did you ever cheat on your wife ? "
The gut answers truthfully, " Every chance I got " Peter then points
to two doors and says to enter the second one. "
He turns to the second guy asking him the same question. " A couple
of times," the guy mutters. Peter tells him to take door two.
Peter asks the third guy," Did you ever cheat on your wife ? ". The
guy thinks for about five seconds and says, "Well, yes. You see I
was
in this saloon in Texas and noticed that they had only one cowgirl
working there to take care of all the guys. I asked the bartender
how
come, and he said 'Well, that's all we need. That filly can suck a
baseball bat through a garden hose. So that's when I cheated on my
wife".
Peter then told the guy to enter door number one.The guy asks "
What's the deal? You sent the others to door number two?"
Peter says, "Yes, and they're both going to Hell........
and
I are going to Texas!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
During our computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking
to the girl sitting next to him.
"I was just asking her a question," the boy said.
"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher tersely replied.
"Okay," he answered, "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"
Three pregnant women are sitting chatting and knitting sweaters for
their expected kids.
The first one says "I hope that I have a baby boy, because I'm
knitting a blue sweater."
The second says " Well I hope that I have a girl because I'm
knitting
a pink sweater."
The third woman says "I hope my kid is a spastic, because I've
fucked
up the arms.
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Scrooge Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are You A Scrooge?
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If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers
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If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells
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If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson
-
you just might be a Scrooge
If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night - you just
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If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese
log - you just might be a Scrooge
If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie - you just
might be a Scrooge
If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin - you just
might
be a Scrooge
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Gay Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young gay man is confronted by some of his friends and told that
he may be drinking a bit too much and it seems like it may be
getting
in the way of his work and effecting some of his relationships. His
friends are concerned that he may need to seek help.
He took their feelings to heart and joined AA. At the end of a year
of dedication he is clean and sober and gets his "pin" showing his
progress (of one year being clean and sober).
He then thinks, he has wanted to stop smoking for awhile, could he
use the same principles he used in AA to stop smoking? He sets
himself on the path and does so.
By the second year when he gets his pin from AA, he is tobacco free,
and has a small dinner party to celebrate the fact. When he gets
together with his friends, they are amazed at what good health he is
in, and amazed that he is not only alcohol free but also tobacco
free. They applaud his dedication.
About a year later he has another dinner party and announces to all
his friends that he is "no longer gay." His straight friends as
well as his gay friends are totally amazed at this. No one believes
he has managed to change so much in is life.
"Did you do the same things you did to stop drinking and smoking?"
many asked. "Was it just a choice of lifestyle change?" others
asked. "Was it some type of religious revelation?" was even asked.
"No, nothing so drastic" he replied. "Its just when I quit smoking I
found everything tasted different."
Patricia
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Carolyn w/ Yes Virginia
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White Christmas Via Carol
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I Believe In You
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Crying In The Wind
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Surfin Surfari
Santatelevision - Santa Claus
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Great White Shark
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Beautiful Bridges
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Bugs
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
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Movie Chips
Brownie
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Bud Light Cat
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Bud Light Frisbee
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Bud Ads
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Buddy Greene Harmonica
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Bud Light Clown
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Room Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three couples went to New York for a weekend but
didn't have reservations. They were amazed to
find only two rooms left in the whole area. Each
room had one bed. They took the rooms and
decided to have the three women share one bed and
the three men share the other.
In the middle of the night, one man got up to leave. Another man
asked him, "What are you doing?"
The first man answered, "I'm going to see my wife."
The second man asked, "What do you mean you're going to see your
wife?"
The first man said, "I'm going to see my wife.
I've got the biggest erection I've ever had."
The second man said, "Well, then, take me with you."
The first man said, "Why should I take you with me?"
The second man answered, "Because you're holding MY dick."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daleks bottle attack
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Beauty Aids
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Funeral picnic
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Bums Away
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Bullshit
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Great Nights
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young girl named Sapphire,
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
There once was a guy named Nick
Who liked to jerk off his dick
All during the day
He'd sit there and play
And then grab the bong and the Bic.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously
imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come
into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known
you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink
before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the
man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes,
smiles, and then slurs,
"Not anymore!... He is!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a true story.
This comes from a physician a hospital in Virginia. His daughter and
4 year old grand daughter where in the grocery store. A large, burly
man with long hair and a beard happened down the same aisle as the
daughter and child. The little girl looked up at big, burly man and
said, "You have a beard"
Yes, the man said.
"My mommy has a beard too, but it's down there" as she pointed to
her little crotch...
I have been howling about this since last night. The poor mother was
so humiliated she took that cart and child bolted away!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1483
Leftovers
BJ: So Diana what are you going to do with all the leftovers?
Diana: I am working on a solution.
BJ: What is it?
Diana: I call it the S-30 solution.
BJ: Explain it to me.
Diana: Sandi can eat 30 percent of the food in one day, so S =
Sandi and 30 = 30 percent, so what we don't eat Sandi is our garbage
disposal.
BJ: Ah yes, it seems to work quite well. I wonder why she doesn't
get fat.
Diana: She says she sleeps it off.
BJ: Hmm, it doesn't work for us humans.
Diana: She is in pretty good shape.
BJ: She sleeps hard and eats hard so it must be a physical fitness
program for her.
Diana: If she could sell that program, she could be the richest
girl on the planet...."Eat All You Want and Sleep and Never Gain a
Pound" by Sandi Cassady, yeah it would earn her billions.
BJ: Look out Oprah and Phil.
Diana: It is probably her internal system, she is one of those rare
creatures who can eat and burn it up.
BJ: I am jealous.
Diana: Me to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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