THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it  The Genuine Blue Topaz & Cubic Zirconia Stack Ring Set - A $39.99 value - Three glittering bands with infinite wearing options. The Superstar Pink CZ Ring - a $39.99 value - the glamorous look of pink and white diamonds totaling over 9 carats. No Risk, No Obligation, No Reason Not to Say Yes Now! Why would Holsted Jewelers give away two FREE rings? The answer is easy: So you can experience the quality, value a nd style of their designs first hand! Click here to accept your FREE rings http://www.thepostm  S60 Digital Camera for FREE! Get your hands on the coolest digital camera on the market - the Nikon(R) Coolpix(R) S60 Digital Camera! Designed with a customizable touch panel display, 10 megapixels for stunning print quality, 5x optical zoom and 19 scene modes, this digital camera does more than just take cool pics! Act now to get your new Nikon(R) Coolpix(R) S60 Digital Camera for FREE! http://www.thepostm  Win a Plasma TV & a chance at 4 NFL Finals Tickets! Don't just sit there. You've got to Play 2 Win! Go: http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! I took great pains during this last snow storm to move the cars off the street for the snow plows. We do not have odd even parking around here, and winter time tends to be a mess. Usually, when the snow plow makes the first pass down the center, a few hours later he will come back and make another pass and clear the rest of it all the way to the curb. The neighbors apparently have not figured out the value of the idea of getting their cars out for the plows. At our house, the street is nice and clean all the way to the curb. So you would think there would be plenty of room for us to park after the storm is over. Unfortunately, with our house being the only one clear, guess where the neighbors all park their cars? Oh well, I guess those folks all have a place to go in the morning called work. If I were not a poor man, I would own a house that has a decent driveway to park in. My driveway on this place is in the back off the alley, and of course it is inaccessable right now. Besides, I have nothing better to do with my time but look out the window and watch the snow falling, so I guess it does not matter. I went out this morning to clear off "the war department's" car, and brushed off most of the neighbors' cars while I was at it. Turk the dog definitely does not like the snow, especially with the extremely cold temperatures. I took him out and he seems to be more interested in shivering than he is in doing his duty. Daughter tells me that she "might" pick dog up tomorrow night, thus relieving me of dog sitting. However, I have discovered that her "might" usually means a day or two after that. I suspect that Turk most likely will be here over Christmas. But that is ok, as a part of the family, he will be an added blessing to "the postman clan." Altho there is not a lot of snow falling this morning, radio reports predict a another half a foot for this evening. It is DEFINITELY going to be a white Christmas this year. The publishers are once again making the Free bottles of ACAI available once again. Many of you have written to tell me how much you like this stuff. Hurry and get your bottle today. supplies are limited FREE BOTTLE OF ACAI  Try it FREE for one whole week! *Flush away unwanted pounds. *Naturally boost energy levels. *Get a Firmer, flatter tummy. *Promotes sound sleep. *Enhance well being. Clean out the pounds and pounds of excess waste built up in your colon right now! http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS realistic pornography for old men http://www.thepostm authentic masculin experience http://www.thepostm an old man's xmas wish http://www.thepostm Santa's workshop in the 21st century http://www.thepostm theft by the elves http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES bsby elephant plays the harmonica http://www.thepostm press one for English http://www.thepostm On a cold winter day http://www.thepostm microwave magic http://www.thepostm jingle bell taxi http://www.thepostm the new lense at the observatory http://www.thepostm ____________  INTERESTING STUFF if alcohol labels were more realistic http://www.thepostm Christmas music! http://www.thepostm xmas vacation http://www.thepostm the boob song http://www.thepostm POWER POINT DISPLAYS Christmas blessings http://www.thepostm Christmas wishes http://www.thepostm One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back. Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?" With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass." Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one." ____________ Little Johnny and his dad were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a lady in the front turned around, slapped Little Johnny's dad, and then left in a huff. "That sure is a nasty lady," Little Johnny's dad said. Little Johnny remarked, "I didn't like her either, Daddy. She stepped on my toe ... so I pinched her ass." ____________ The Teacher asked, "All right children, who can tell me what a chicken gives?" Mary answered, "A chicken gives eggs!" The Teacher then asked, "Now who can tell me what a goat gives?" And Paul answered, "A goat gives goat milk!" And finally the Teacher asked, "Well now, who can tell me what the cow gives?" And Little Johnny replied, "Homework and lessons!" ____________ A man goes to the doctor's office one day. The nurse, quite attractive, says, "The doctor is over at the hospital right now. He won't be back for about an hour. Could you tell me your symptoms, please?" He tells her. She looks at him appraisingly and decides he's just tense. She offers, "Well, um, for $50, I've got just the thing for you!" He agrees, and she takes him into an examining room and screws the daylights out of him. About a week later, he returns, only to find that the doctor is there. The doctor listens to the man's symptoms, examines him, and decides the man is just tense... he writes out a prescription for a sedative and says, "That'll be $150 for this visit." The man says, "If it's all the same to you, doctor, I'd rather have the $50 cure!" ____________ The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately. The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent. The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, The Goldberg Air-Conditioner, each car in which it was installed. Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours, and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown. And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls. So, now you know ... ____________ During our computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting next to him. "I was just asking her a question," the boy said. "If you have a question, ask me," the teacher tersely replied. "Okay," he answered, "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?" ____________ Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10", 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines! The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, "It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a lesbian!!" BUFFALO Bill Virginity YES http://www.buffalos PAPA Thorn Christmas Special Xmas delivery http://able2laff. Crispy fried Santa http://able2laff. Terrorist profiling http://able2laff. Prison presents http://able2laugh. Don't upset Santa, boys! http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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