[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Mon



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Okay the buffalo got hoodwinked and bamboozled. It started with a
video of someone turning a 16 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew into a
pretty, green Glow-stick. They added to a half bottle of soda about
a quarter teaspoon of baking soda and three capfuls of hydrogen
peroxide capped the bottle and shook it and the bottle turned into
a big glow-stick. We were sitting around watching Monday Night
Football with a friend and they were drinking Mountain Dew so I
asked for a glassful to try this experiment. I went to the cupboard
to get some baking soda and Sandy had used the last to freshen
the litter in the cat room so I crushed up a couple of the baking
soda tabs that I take to reduce my potassium, added them and the
peroxide and nothing happened. I reviewed my experiment and
concluded the filler from the tablets must be affecting the
reaction.

Last week I went to the store and picked up a fresh box of baking
soda and stopped at a convenience store and paid 1.20 for a Mountain
Dew in a small bottle. Finally today I was watching football
and remembered the experiment and dug the ingredients out from the
fridge and the spice cabinet and gave it a try. Same results as the
first try so I googled Mountain Dew Glow-Stick and came up with
a whole bunch of hoax listings for it. Seems the person who did the
video added the fluid from one glow stick to the Mountain Dew before
filming it and the addition of the peroxide activates the fluid.

Now you can tell all of your friends when they send you that clip
that
it is really a hoax.

Next problem, Eva got a yoyo for Christmas and I have never had
any luck with them. Although the ones I have had have always been
cheap, I watch others do amazing tricks and my yoyo goes down
makes a half-hearted attempt to come back up and then surrenders
to gravity. I don't know what I am doing wrong and I have been
avoiding
them for over 40 years and I sure would like to figure it out before

I die. Any suggestions out there? Nothing fancy just up and down
will suffice.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Hotel Chips
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A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.
After almost twenty-four hours on he road, they're too tired to
continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice
hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours
and then get back on the road.

When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a
bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He
tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly
aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard
rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the
hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that
were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use
them", the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have,"
explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in
one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best
entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,"
the Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows,"
complains the man again. "Well, we have them, and you could have",
the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions,
the man replies, "But we didn't use it!" The Manager is unmoved, and
eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and
gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at
the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for
$50." "That's right," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping
with my wife. "But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Fishing With Moses
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32166.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32166.htm "> Here!</a>

Surfing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32165.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32165.htm "> Here!</a>

Mechanics
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32164.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32164.htm "> Here!</a>

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Bedside Chips
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THINGS NOT TO SAY IN BED WITH SOMEONE...

1. You know you want me to.
2. You suck it-like an ice cream cone.
3. You brought the condoms, right?
4. Let's have a flesh fest.
5. What's your last name?
6. I believe in only fivesomes.
7. Don't tell anybody, OK?
8. The condom is on inside out.
9. You don't believe in bestiality?
10. I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig.
11. Wait! I need my teddy bear.
12. Let me go wash my face real fast.
13. I've got pussy breath.
14. I'm gonna throw up.
15. But I wanted to bite it.
16. You broke my nail!
17. Have you ever seen Basic Instinct?
18. Are you a virgin?
19. Shooey! You're better than Mom.
20. Do you trust me, I mean, really trust me?
21. I wanna go muff diving.
22. My dad did it differently
23. Huh? I'm sorry. I fell asleep.
24. Who needs birth control?
25. The ceiling needs painting.
26. Swallowing is a lot neater.
27. Oh, baby, you're so good. (Said sarcastically.)
28. Do you mind if I draw blood?
29. Ever lick someone's anus?
30. My ex was much better.
31. How much do I owe you?
32. I can't find the key.
33. What do you mean, you can't find the key?
34. I'm hungry for some hair pie.
35. You don't mind if I film, do you?
36. Can I beat you with my love stick?
37. Where am I?
38. It's Mr. Pastyface!
39. Why don't you just bend over and smile.
40. I forgot to lock the door.
41. Leave the TV on.
42. That's $20 for the first hour, right?
43. I think a blindfold would make you feel better.
44. Do you always smell like that?
45. How about some fellatio?
46. Is it in yet?
47. When was the last time you did this?
48. Cullulite makes me horny.
49. What's your name again?
50. Meet my pet sheep, Stud.
51. Are you done yet?
52. Oh, I've got my period. I forgot. I'm sorry.
53. I thought you were your sister.
54. I thought you'd never climax.
55. Meet Russel the Love Muscle.
56. I'm really really drunk.
57. Your stretchmarks turn me on.
58. Did you have an orgasm?
59. My name is really Andy Dugger.
60. Glad we got that over with.
61. Your cushion lends me to some reagood pushin'.
62. If you tell anyone, I'll kill you.
63. If you loved me you would.
64. You mean you're only fourteen?--Yeah.
65. Mr. Head wants some.
66. Ooh, I love small penises.
67. I'm gonna suck your cl-- like a straw.

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Get Ripped.

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Shipwrecked Chips
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On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere,
the following people are stranded:

Two Italian men and one Italian woman.
Two French men and one French woman.
Two German men and one German woman.
Two Greek men and one Greek woman.
Two British men and one British woman.
Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.
Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.
Two Vietnamese men and one Vietnamese woman.
Two Irish men and one Irish woman.
Two American men and one American woman.

One month later, on these absolutely stunning desert islands in the
middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
-One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

-The two French men and the French woman are living happily together
in a menage a trois.
-The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating
visits with the German woman.
-The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is
cooking and cleaning for them.
-The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to
the British woman.
-The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and
started swimming to another island.
-The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
-The two Vietnamese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store,
restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order
to supply employees for their stores.
-The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and setup
a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because
it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey.
However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any
fun.
-The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the
American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her
body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her
skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of
fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and
palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her
opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship
with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why
didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get
them all rescued off this Godforsaken deserted island in the middle
of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.

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Eco Canteen - Be Healthy and Go Green

Protect Your Family's Health with this stainless steel water bottle.
Studies are coming out at a rapid rate showing the dangers of
ingesting toxins leached from plastic bottles. Why place your
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a special chemical coating that often peels off into the water you
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Short Chips
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A young couple came into the church office to fill out a
pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked
to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put
him at ease.

When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of
your own free will?" there was a long pause.

Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and
said, "Put down yes."

A woman was in a sex boutique shopping for vibrators when the clerk
said, "Perhaps you might be interested in this one. It's our most
realistic model."

The woman said, "You mean it's shaped exactly like a man's penis?"

"No," the clerk replied, "I mean that after five minutes it goes
soft for the rest of the night."

Doug came home unexpectedly early from work only to find his wife
lying in bed naked with large hickies all over her neck and big red
bruises and red welts all over her breasts. She had obviously been
ravaged in sexual passion. Doug then noticed a burning cigar on the
nightstand next to the bed. He screamed at his wife, " What is going
on here, who did this to you?"

His wife calmly and innocently said, "No one Doug, Whenever I try to
smoke a cigar, I break out in a rash!"

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SnoreEzzz - Tired of Your Husband or Wife Snoring?
This Pillow Is Your Answer!

SnoreEzzz was invented by a woman whose husband had a snoring
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to snoreEzzz, they all sleep soundly!

Whether you sleep on your side or back, the patent-pending
snoreEzzz pillow will keep your head and neck aligned and may
prevent snoring. The top pillow feels just like down, so you sleep
like a baby.

Wake Up Renewed and Refreshed
* Reduces or eliminates snoring in adults
* Aligns the head and spine
* Comfort of a down pillow
* Hypoallergenic polyester fibers
* Completely washable
* Practical as a backrest
* Elevates the legs while resting in bed
* FDA approved

Free Bonus Travel Pillow, Pillowcase And Sleep Music
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Blonde Chips
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Brian, (who for the sake of this joke will be a 'blond') was a
business graduate, and had been out of school for several years. He
had established a furniture store and was doing quite well. He
decided to expand the lines he carried by adding some expensive
French furniture he knew no one else in town carried. He scheduled a
buying trip to France.

Brian's first day in Paris was very successful and he found a number
of pieces he thought he could profitably sell back home. After the
arrangements were made to begin shipping this furniture home, he
decided to celebrate with a glass of wine in a small sidewalk cafe.
The place was jammed, but he managed to find an empty table.

Just about the time his wine arrived, a beautiful girl came by and
motioned to the empty chair at his table with a questioning look on
her face. He assumed she wanted to sit with him and nodded his head
"yes." The girl sat down with him.

The girl tried to talk to him, but, alas, he understood not one word
of French. He tried to talk to her, but, alas, she understood not
one word of English. He finally had an idea! He took a napkin and
drew a wine glass and a question mark. She nodded her head "yes."

They sat quietly enjoying their wine. When it was just about
finished, Brian realized it was nearly time for dinner. He took
another napkin and drew a picture of two people at a table eating
dinner. She nodded her head "yes" and took him by the hand. She led
him down the street to a very nice restaurant.

They went in. The girl spoke with the head waiter and they were
seated in a quiet corner where they could hear the band playing and
see the dance floor. Brian could not read the menu since it was in
French, so he allowed the girl to order for him.

The food was excellent and the couple thoroughly enjoyed it. After
dinner, Brian took a napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
She nodded her head "yes" and they danced to every song the band
played, whether fast or slow. When the band quit playing and began
to pack away their instruments, the couple returned to their table.

The girl took a napkin and reached for Brian's pen. He handed it to
her and she drew a picture of a four poster bed.

Brian is still wondering to this day. . . . . . .

how she ever knew he was in the furniture business!

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Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out

Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
windows saving you money on your energy bills.

Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
home
as they do outdoors, blocking drafts and keeping allergens, such as
dust,
pollen and even insects from traveling freely around your home. Twin
Draft
Guards are also helpful in blocking harmful fumes from the garage
and the
damp chill from the basement.

Additional Ordering Details:

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office.

John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful
sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

[Two days later]

George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as
well, but *I* think your wife's a way better lay."

~~~~

Two senior citizens were bragging about their sex lives in
the elderly homes, "Can you still do it? I have sex with
my wife twice a week. How many can you do?"

"Oh, I do it almost every night of the week!"

"Almost every night!!?????"

"Yup! Monday, almost. Tuesday, almost. Wednesday,........"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pampered Toes is the new miracle foot therapy product that soothes
and revives tortured toes in minutes!

Just slip your feet into Pampered Toes and feel the stretching
and extending of your toes, leaving you feeling healthy and
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Pampered Toes are waterproof so you can even wear them in the shower

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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/After The Storm http://silverandgoldandthee.net/MM/Sto.html

carolyn w/ Sentimental Me ~Elvis
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/sentimentalme.html

Daily Sunshine
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol01.html

Disney Character Bushes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneybush.html

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We have checks ready to send you for offering us your honest opinion
on various online surveys that only take a few minutes to complete.
So if you're interested in earning a nice extra income each month
for just giving your opinion on various surveys then press here to
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PSC and its partners bring you fresh opportunities to express your
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You can participate whenever you'd like, morning, noon, night ..
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Press here to start

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Surfin Surfari

Phone Numbers Search Tools
http://www.phone-numbers-search.com/

Moon Legends, and Tales
http://www.moonlightsys.com/themoon/legends.html

Pop Music The Most Popular Hit Songs
http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/

Medical Health Test
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/medical.html

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We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
regular dating site full of people that don't know what they want.
Our singles know EXACTLY what they want!

If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
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of this dating community want to meet up with new people for one
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Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT
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then do not accept this membership that we want to give you for no
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If you DO want to have a LOT of fun with singles that are awesome to
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Chat Acronyms used in E-mail, IM, and Text Messaging
http://www.sharpened.net/glossary/acronyms.php

Annie's New Year's Graphics - WebTV Friendly!
http://www.wtv-zone.com/AnniesTreasures/a_newyearimages.html

DriverMax
http://www.innovative-sol.com/drivermax/

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Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?

Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.

Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
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This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
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are any "spying" programs on them.

Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.mathcats.com/explore/animalstories.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQi3q-Nf9wA

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You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
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I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
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See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
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right way.

Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...

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We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to
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Movie Chips

Fishing Boat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdrese.htm

Fitness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdss.htm

For The Lazy Sports Fanatic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/glkl.htm

Fox Thief
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfrdf.htm

Freak out. No Whopper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/grer.htm

Fred Astaire & Eleanor Powell
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjki.htm

Friends Come and Go
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtyu.htm

Amnesty Bills Worst Provision
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfrd.htm

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Honey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doug and Tammy decided to take a vacation and travel
across the country and visit little known rural areas,
staying in off the beaten track motels.

They stopped their first night at a motel that must
have been at least 100 years old, and one that hadn't
had any renovations done since day one. They were
preparing themselves for bed and Doug decided to have
one last cigarette before getting in to bed, so he
left the room to go outside and have his smoke.

When Doug returned to the room, he actually started
feeling quite romantic, so he carefully opened the
door and said, "Honey? Honey?.

There was no response.

He tried again, "Honey? Hey, honey!" a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

Finally a male voice from the blackness in front of
him said, "This ain't no beehive you damn fool, this
here's the bathroom."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turn anything into a flashlight and never be left in the dark again!

The world's thinnest flashlight that fits anywhere!

Perfect for cell phones (since you always carry it around)
But also great on Ipods, Cameras, Wallets, Closets and anywhere you
need light!

The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
right at your fingertips

You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!

Not available in stores!

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Free To Good Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32172.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32172.htm "> Here!</a>

Change Of Name
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32169.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32169.htm "> Here!</a>

Weirdo's In The News
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32170.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32170.htm "> Here!</a>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scrub King - Cuts Your Cleaning Jobs In Half

Simply attach to any garden hose and you get the only portable
scrubber in the world with the power of a water jet! Easily attach
almost any home steam cleaner and now you have the muscle of the
Scrub KingTM plus the power of steam to Power Clean, Degrease and
Sanitize!

Scrub King Features:
* Clean, Scrub, Brush & Polish
* Works Under Water
* Has More Torque Than Any Other Scrubber
* Nearly 300 Scrubs Per Minute

14 Day Trail
Order Now it's a 14 day Trial

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Limerick Chips
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There's an oversexed lady named Whyte,
Who insists on a dozen a night.
A fellow named Cheddar,
Had the brashness to wed her...
His chance of survival is slight.

"I'm sick of Tchaikovsky", said May,
"And this Handel and Bach that we play."
So she put down her fiddle,
And diddled her middle;
"It's time for Depussy I say."

There was a young nudist from Denver
Who had an unusual member;
It was stiff as Jello
When the weather was mellow.
But a popsicle every December!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.

The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/loud

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that
she
has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in
the
sanctity of the confessional.

She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."

The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail
Marys, five Our Fathers and do six cartwheels on your way to the
altar."

Hoover Award Winner

Jaswant Rai Speciality Hospital, Meerut, India.

A 27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever
for the preceding six months. Inspite of trials with antibiotics and
anti-tuberculosis treatment for the preceeding four months, her
symptoms did not improve. A subsequent chest radiograph showed
non-homogeneous collapse-consolidation of right upper lobe.
Videobronchoscopy revealed an inverted bag like structure in right
upper lobe bronchus and rigid bronchoscopic removal with biopsy
forceps confirmed the presence of a condom. Detailed retrospective
history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during
fellatio.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PASTA N MORE - The Amazing New 5-in-1 Pasta Cooker!

Cook, Drain and Serve All In One!

Pasta N More is made of certified materials, fits in any microwave,
its dishwasher safe and makes dinner for 1 or a family of 9. The
unique design swirls the water and not the pasta quickly cooking it
to a perfect al dente texture! Youll receive the air-tight storage
lid to keep left-overs fresh and perfect for saving, storing or
reheating meals in an instant.

Offer includes!
* Pasta Pot
* 2 Handles
* Strainer Lid
* Steam Rack
* Storage Lid
* Cookbook

BONUS COLOR CODED KNIVES WHEN YOU ORDER TODAY

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A 10-year-old girl was walking down the street when

a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her

and says, "Hey little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"

"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside her again and says,

"Hey kid, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."

"NO!" said the little girl and proceeded down the street

a little quicker.

The motorcyclist pulls up to the little girl again and

says, "Okay kid, I will give you $20 and a BIG bag

of candy if you hop on the back of my bike for a ride."

At this point the little girl turns to him and screams

angrily, "Look Dad, YOU bought a Honda instead of a

Harley so YOU ride it!"

Karl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Rifle is an awesome toy for the holidays!
Your kids and loved ones will have hours of fun and competition.
With plastic BB's, its fun and safe to see who has the best shot! It
comes complete with scope, laser sight, adjustable bipod and
detachable sport stock. The laser sight makes this a sure fire
winner! This toy gun shoots fast and accurate at approximately 200
FPS. The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Spring Sniper Rifle is a full size
rifle and even comes with safety glasses and a starter pack of BBs.

Click here to hear more or buy now:

http://buffaloschips.com/ak-47

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Birthday

Diana is at work and the phone rings...Ring Ring!

Diana: Hello!

Sandi: Diana?

Diana: Oh hello Sandi. How are you doing?

Sandi: I am doing fine. Thank you for asking.

Diana: What can I do for you?

Sandi: Well you know we are celebrating father's birthday and
things are a teensy bit out of hand.

Diana: What do you mean?

Sandi: Remember the large barrel Rudy brought into the house last
night?

Diana: Yes.

Sandi: Well it was a keg of beer. Katie, Rudy, Muffin and Miss
Kitty have been drinking to Dad's health all day.

Diana: And Dad, err I mean BJ?

Sandi: Not a drink. When the police arrived....

Diana: Police?

Sandi: Oh I didn't mention the police?

Diana: No you didn't.

Sandi: Well I think the neighbors complained about the noise.

Diana: Noise?

Sandi: Rudy on bagpipes, Katie on banjos, Muffin on Tuba, and Miss
Kitty on Drums. They were not too bad, except they were all playing

different songs.

To be continued

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

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William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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