[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 

Be thankful for the work you have to do,
and be thankful, too, that you have the 
skill, strength and brains to do it.
 ~Anonymous
 
 
 
 



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NEW Listerine Agent Cool Blue - FREE* SAMPLE!
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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS

one phone call
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liberals
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Did you hear about the blonde virgin who wasn't upset about losing her cherry?
She figured she could always get a new one, since she still had the box it came in.
What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
If you throw a load in a washing machine, it doesn't follow you around for 3 days.
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
So she could lip read.
Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
__________________
 
 stopped at a fast food restaurant recently.
I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries.
I decided to give them a try.
 I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer
Which were dripping with fat.  He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.
"Just a minute!" I said. 'Those aren't fat free."
"Yes, they are.
 We only charge for the potatoes.... The fat is free!"
__________________
 
And, Speaking of Senior Moments:
"WHERE Is My SUNDAY Paper?"  The irate customer
calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to
know where her Sunday edition was.
"Ma'am," said the newspaper employee,
today is Saturday .... The Sunday paper is not
delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone,
followed by a ray of recognition.... As she was heard to
mutter  'Well, shit ... So that's
why no one was at church today."
___________________
 
A soldier, filled with obvious triumph, returned from his
twenty-four-hour pass and was besieged by his buddies who
wanted to know, in detail, how he had made out.
The soldier, nothing loath, said gleefully, "What a piece of
fuckin' luck I had. I hadn't been off camp more than half an
hour when I met this fuckin' broad and was she stacked! We
got to talking and I took her out for some fuckin' hamburgers.
Then we went to a fuckin' movie where we got friendly.
Then she took me to her fuckin' apartment and in less than
five minutes I had every fuckin' stitch off her."
He paused for breath and everyone cried out, "So what happened?" What happened?"
And the soldier said, "What do you think happened, you fuckin' jerks? We
had sexual intercourse."
___________________
 
The Top 14 Ways Hell is Better Than Your Job
 
14. Your coffee stays hot all day!
 
13. Never have to look very far to find the legal
    department.
 
12. In hell, you *know* who drank your Coke in the fridge
    -- Satan!
 
11. 30% fewer "Dilbert" cartoons in the break room.
 
10. In hell, that devil-may-care attitude of yours comes in
    handy.
 
9. You get to spend more time with your spouse now.
 
8. No more wondering if the boss hates you.
 
7. Riding to work in a handbasket beats the hell out of
   public transportation.
 
6. Hourly dunks in searing pools of molten lava actually
   quite invigorating.
 
5. Surfing porno sites all day scores *major* points with
   the boss!
 
4. Your office: One free stale donut every Friday.
Hell: One brutal mutilation of a "Full House" cast member
every Friday.
 
3. Your job? Suit and tie. Hell? Pitchforks and attitude,
Baby!
 
2. Ferocious reptilian demons can appreciate a good dirty
joke now and then without threatening a sexual harassment
complaint.
 
1. Microwave popcorn -- without leaving your cubicle!
_________________
 
Once upon a time an evil king captured a virgin princess and held her
captive in his high tower. Though she was very beautiful he forced her
to wear a disgusting and smelly burlap dress.
"You'll never get away with this," she cried. "Some brave knight will rescue me!"
"Not in that thing," the evil king replied.
She waited day and night, but it was just as the king predicted. Every knight
that saw her in the window of the high tower was scared away by her dress,
which, as I've mentioned, was very disgusting.
After many months the princess broke down crying and the evil king taunted
her, "You see? I told you no knight would rescue a damsel in this dress!"
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
 
 
 
 
 
 






 

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