Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have gotten a few comments that I have launched into Halloween
a little early this year sending out most of our best jokes and sites
well beforehand. I have several reasons besides wanting to be the
first to use all the jokes. Having all the sites early does help put
people in the mood and the jokes are great for work and social
gatherings. Most important though I want to give people on the
joke lists a relief from the solid diet of politics that we have been
facing for the past year. It has been an interesting race, almost
entertaining, sometimes a drama, sometimes a sit-com, and
mostly a soap opera. I just want to bring you something a little
more entertaining than the natural disasters and watching our
economy sink into a recession or a depression depending on
what the expert speaking at the time. I would like to hear from
some of the readers out there that spent Halloween or Devil's
night doing pranks or tricks. My parents kept too tight a rein on
us to let us cause any trouble on Halloween and It would have
been a long walk to the neighbors anyhow.
Political calls do not come under the control of the Do Not Call
Registry and the party that I am not voting for seems to like to
call early in the morning or at supper time. I have been keeping
my sense of humor though and just telling them, " You really
have the wrong number." and they thank me and hang up. They
are local callers so I don't want to vent like I do with the people
from out of state. Even children are getting in on the spirit of
campaigning and I have seen 10 year olds riding around carrying
signs of their parent's choices or perhaps ACORN has them all
registered to vote. I hope you all are hanging in there and avoid
conflict with the ones we love that don't necessarily vote the way
we do. We can impeach or recall our elected officials but family
is forever.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dennis Miller's Advice to Men About What Women Want
1 - Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright.
2 - If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don't try to subtly
steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim.
3 - Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity and power
they possess as lifegivers and come up with some decent, affordable
childcare. That way, maybe poor single mothers can go to work and get
off welfare and we won't have to listen to any more idiots in
Congress blathering about orphanages.
4 - Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work, guys. Look
at ... say Carl, the brain-dead jack-off in the cubicle next to you.
You could kill Carl, couldn't you, because he's a slacking,
worthless, toady idiot. Now, imagine making 30 percent less than
Carl. Hellooo ...
5 - This is very important: during lovemaking, don't ask, "Who's your
daddy?" Even as a joke. All right? It's not funny.
6 - When her mouth moves, pay attention, words could be coming out.
Words are kind of important.
7 - Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-hill rock
stars to have women their own age in their videos.
8 - Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now, Clouseau, you
should
*know* if she came.
9 - Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to ask for
directions.
10 - When she catches you cheating on her and she cuts off your dick
in your sleep, take it like a man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
T Shirt Sayings
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T Shirt Sayings
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Good Kinda Hurt
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Its bad for us
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Garfield
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calling in sick
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Storm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a terrible night, blowing cold and snow in a most
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was just about to close up shop when a little Jewish man slipped
through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and
was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he
still looked wet, freezing, and bedraggled.
As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two
poppy seed bagels to go, please?"
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"
"That's right," answered the little man. "One for me and one for
Sherry."
"Sherry is your wife?" Asked the baker.
"What do you think," snapped the little man, "my mother would
send me out on a night like this?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: I went shopping for bras this weekend. How depressing! I wanted
one with good support.
Jill: Have you tried under wire?
Mary: Yes, Ma'am! Unfortunately, I have graduated to steel girders!
Wife: Okay, today's Friday. Where's your pay envelope?
Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house.
Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $480?
Man: Eight rounds of drinks.
Mary: I knew right away he was a loser.
Jill: How did you know so fast?
Mary: He said he could give me "multiple organisms."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Rodeo Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rodeo Pick-up Lines
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"Is that a pelvis broken in three places, or are you just happy to
see me?"
"That's right, I said 'AND the horse you rode in on.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Shakespeare Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I have come to kiss your snatch and fill your hole with soap."
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play anyway..."
The audience left howling.
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Fishing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rusty Wallace, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Jeff Gordon all went out on
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noticed that in their haste to start fishing, they had forgotten
to unload their fishing poles from the truck.
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into the cooler.
They both turn to Jeff and ask if he would like to try his luck.
Jeff turns red faced and finally answers, "Sure, but you have to
promise not to poke my eyes out...!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Movies
Gay Weatherman
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Hot Moments
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Hot Sex
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How I crashed my Harley
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How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
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Sleep fro
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Smart Ass
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Snake Prank
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Snow Bot
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Speech Interrupted
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Driving Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Common Sense Driving Rules
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2. If you stop to talk in the store, get your fat ass out of the
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3. Walk on the right side of the aisle. Works like a charm, just
like they taught you in kindergarten.
4. If you're stuck in a line of cars behind someone who needs to
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the asshole, tailgating, flashing your high-beams, hitting the horn
or giving the finger will not help. The poor slob that's in front of
you can't go any faster than the shithead in front of him. Chill the
fuck out.
5. Hang the fuck up and drive.
Karl
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gopher Hole
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Camping
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I'm No Drive In Bank
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Gollum's mum
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Nice Cup Cakes
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64=65?
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man named Roy
Who screwed a hot gal named Joy.
When he came, he did stop,
And while lying on top
Said, "I'm over come with Joy."
(Kirk Miller)
A Certain Sweet Girl From Key West
Was Uncommonly Large In The Chest
Any Man's Close Attention
To Her Outside Dimension
Brought His Own Measurement To Its Best
Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.
<snaged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary, Cindy and Rhonda were discussing Mary's fight with her
boyfriend, Bob.
"And then he thought I owed HIM an apology!" concluded Mary.
"Well, did you give him one?" asked Cindy.
"Damn straight I did!" said Mary. "I said to him, 'I am so very
sorry that you're an asshole.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A somewhat strange guy walks into a bar.
The bartender notices him and watches as the man
walks up to a group of men at a table and starts
talking to them.
The man then gets up and goes to the bartender and says...
"I bet you $500 that I can piss in that shot glass on
the back wall without spilling a drop."
The bartender, thinking he could make himself a quick $500 takes the
bet.
The man then unzips his pants and starts pissing all over
the bartender and the bar. He pisses on everything but the
shot glass.
When he is finished the bartender says," well I guess you
owe me $500."
The man walks back over to the table and comes back and gives the
bartender $500 the bartender then ask..."How did you get that money
from them?"
The man replies..."Well I just bet them $2,000 that I could piss all
over you and your bar and you wouldn't get mad."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1445
Frightnight
Ring Ring Ring!
Tami: Hello!
BJ: Hello Tami, this is BJ. I have a small favor to ask.
Tami: Anything within reason.
BJ: The dogs have set up a Halloween graveyard in my yard and they
want to scare you. I think they are on their way over to get you to
walk in it. Of course you do not have to...
Tami: Oh, I will go for it...
BJ: Thanks.
Ding Dong!
Tami: Oh hello Rudy. What can I do for you?
Rudy: Ah, I was wondering if you had seen Katie?
Tami: No, I have not.
Rudy: She has not been feeling well lately.
Tami: I am sorry to hear that.
Sandi running up to the door..: I found her Rudy.
Rudy: Where?
Sandi: I found her grave.
Tami: Grave?
Sandi badly acting: Sniff...yes, her grave. Would you like to see
it?
Tami: Sure let me get my jacket.
Rudy snickering: We got her.
Tami: Ready!
Sandi: Follow me.
A couple of minutes later...
Tami: How long has this cemetery been here?
Rudy: Err ah, how long Sandi?
Sandi: You will have to ask Diana.
Tami: It seem like it would be against the law to bury animals with
humans.
Rudy: What about that Sandi?
Sandi: You would have to ask Diana about that.
Tami: Well where is her grave?
Sandi: Right over here.
Tami looking intensely: Hmm it says Katherine Kassity born April 1st
2003 died Oct 15th 2008. Tsk tsk too bad.
Just then from the speaker in the ground: Help me... help me...help me
Tami.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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