Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
First and most important. I am currently not receiving
mail being sent to my web-tv address even though I am
able to post to it. If you are commenting on anything or need help
send it to bbrabant@sault.
Need a reason to party before Columbus Day? Here is a list
of those little known October holidays so that you will
always have a reason to crack open a brew and celebrate.
October 1 is World Vegetarian Day and Magic Circles Day
October 2 is Name Your Car Day
October 3 is Virus Appreciation Day
October 4 is National Golf Day
October 5 is National Storytelling Festival
October 6 is German-American Day and Come and Take It Day
October 7 is National Frappe Day
October 8 is American Tag Day
October 9 is Moldy Cheese Day
October 10 is National Angel Food Cake Day
October 11 is It's My Party Day
October 12 is International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day
October 13 is National Peanut Festival
October 14 is Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day
October 15 is White Cane Safety Day
October 16 is Dictionary Day
October 17 is Gaudy Day
October 18 is No Beard Day
October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day
October 20 is National Brandied Fruit Day
October 21 is Babbling Day
October 22 is National Nut Day
October 23 is National Mole Day
October 24 is National Bologna Day
October 25 is Punk For A Day Day
October 26 is Mule Day
October 27 is Sylvia Plath Day
October 28 is Plush Animal Lover's Day and National Chocolate Day
October 29 is Hermit Day
October 30 is National Candy Corn Day
October 31 is National Magic Day and Increase Your Psychic Powers
Day
A request from a Herd Member
From Jo in Alabama,
I have a special request for the herd. My niece has signed up to
do a three day walk to raise funds for the Susan G. Komen foundation
in honor of her Mom who died last year from breast cancer. She has
agreed to walk 60 miles in only three days to help raise awareness
and to help raise money for cancer research. Anyone who is
interested in making a donation, please follow this link Welcome to
the Atlanta Breast Cancer 3-Day: http://tinyurl.
click on the "donate" link under the 'take action' tab. Once
there, in the 'search for a participant' spaces enter first name:
"Paige" last name "Conner" and home state "Georgia". Any amount of
money that you can donate, be it $1 or $100, will be greatly
appreciated.
Jo
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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A mid-level Blonde executive was so frustrated at being passed over
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"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this
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brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an
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president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain
is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain?
Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we
would have to kill to get an ounce?"
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hooker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A traveling salesman, out on the road for two months, was beginning
to feel
lonely and horny. He stopped in at a bar, ordered a drink and asked
the
bartender what men did for fun around here. The bartender told him
to go to
room at the top of the stairs and wait for Vanessa. He did. Soon the
door
opened to reveal the most beautiful black woman he had ever seen.
"Hi, I'm Vanessa, and I'm $20," she said. Much to his dismay the
salesman
had only $18, which he promptly offered. "Vanessa does not lower her
standards for anyone," she said. "I'll send up Angela."
A few minutes later a beautiful white woman appeared, took his money
and
treated him to a wonderful evening of sucking and fucking.
Twenty-five years later, while on vacation, the salesman found
himself in
the same bar, talking to the same bartender. "Bet you don't remember
me," he
said.
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Angela
25 years ago. That's your son at the end of the bar. He's been in
every
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"Hey, kid," the salesman said, "it could've been worse. Two dollars
more and
you'da been black too!"
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Nursery Chips
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THIS LITTLE PIGGY
This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef.
This little piggy had none.
This little piggy went wee, wee, wee and bought some Depends
disposable undergarments to solve that problem.
Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall ,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
And his winter wasn't bad either.
Mary had a little lamb,
Little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
So she is suing the test tube lab.
Fuzzy
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bare,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy was arrested for indecent exposure and is now serving
time in the state pen.
Garden
Mary, Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow,
Spraying pesticides and herbicides all down the row?
Bridge
London Bridge is in Arizona, Arizona, Arizona.,
London Bridge is in Arizona, as a tourist trap.
Peter
Peter, Peter wife beater
Had a wife and used to beat her,
'Till she shot him with a shot gun shell,
And sent that bastard straight to hell.
Then she sold the movie rights.
It's now a mini series on Tuesday nights.
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe was walking with his new girlfriend Vickie. They had just
finished a
wonderful date and he was about to drop her off at home.
The mood was right and the timing was right, so Joe looked into her
eyes and
said, "Sweetheart, I want to tell you that you're the first girl I
have ever
loved."
"Oh no", Vickie groaned, "not another Rookie!"
One night, a bunch of army recruits were lounging in their bunks. It
was a warm evening, and one chap was nice and comfortable in the
altogether.
Suddenly the bugle sounded for roll call. There wasn't time to
dress; so he grabbed his trench coat and buttoned it up tight.
Roll call went off all right, but then they decided to have
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The officer looked him up and down, then said, "That's a
strange uniform."
"It was the first one issued to me, sir." replied the recruit.
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Cellar Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walt lived in a block of flats, which had a large, dark cellar. His
four-year-old daughter Samantha and other kids who lived in the
block
liked playing down there, much to the worry of their parents.
Finally
the parents had a meeting and decided that they would all speak to
their children, warning them of the dangers of playing down in the
cellar.
A few weeks later, Walt was chatting with a neighbor and they
proudly
told each other that their respective offspring had stopped playing
down in the cellar. "How did you stop your kid?" the neighbor asked.
"Well," said Walt, "I told Samantha that her mummy and I were very
worried about her playing down the cellar. It's very dark and
dangerous. The stairs are old and steep and slippery and she could
lose her step, fall and badly hurt herself. There's broken glass
all
over the floor, and old crates that she could bump into and bruise
herself. I said she's a grown-up little girl now and it would be
irresponsible to go playing down there. And what did you tell your
Jim?"
The neighbor replied, "I said, Jim, if you go down that cellar one
more time, the little green goblin is going to come and cut your
pecker off!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Heaven Chips
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Hugh Hefner and Heather Locklear die and go to heaven. They are
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that tunnel without even one unclean thought. If you do, a trap
door will open up under you and you will fall into hell where you
will cry and gnash your teeth."
Hugh decides that this will be easy for the tunnel is only 100 feet
long. So he begins down the tunnel with St. Peter following
behind. About half way down the tunnel St. Peter leans over
towards Hugh and yells "Tits!!" and a trap door opens and Hugh falls
down into Hell.
St. Peter then goes to Heather Locklear and says, "You have
corrupted the lives of many men and boys alike with your sexy looks.
You have only one chance to get into the kingdom of God, you must
walk down that tunnel without even one unclean thought. If you do,
a trap door will open up under you and you will fall into hell where
you will cry and gnash your teeth."
They begin their long trek down the tunnel. About half way down St.
Peter leans over towards Heather and a trap door opens and St.
Peter falls down into Hell.
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/True Love
http://www.silveran
Rough Side Of The Mountain/Marlene
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Carol w/Stranger in My Home
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The Renewed Mind
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Chess Invasion
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Hulu Network TV shows
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Movies
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tit Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble
Mine just stay still in one place
In the breast hall of fame
You won't see my name
For my boobs there would be a disgrace
Sure boobs of my size have their merit
They're easy to fit with a bra
And when I go for a dip
You won't see one slip out
They stay put just where they are
And I'm not one to seek much attention
So you won't find me strutting about
In a boob tube that's trying
by gravity defying
to leave no room, not even for doubt
But I sure envy big breasted women
I've seen them at parties you know
With all confidence thrust
In their mighty big bust
Entrancing the men as they go
Though I've heard from a big bosomed buddy
That it's not all it's cracked up to be
She says in frustration
"Try to hold conversation
When there's only two things a guy sees"
Now if I paid a few grand to enlarge them
To, say thirty-six b or c
Would they still look so natural
And could I class them as collateral
Sorta like home improvements on me
Now I've not taken this boob thing just lightly
I've done quite a bit of research
As I try to keep abreast
In my mammary quest
I've found there's a bit to be learned
There's questions that need to be answered
Like cleavage, how wide and how deep
I can have nipples bigger
But somehow I figured
That could poke Sweetie's eye in his sleep
Oh, I wish I had boobs that were awesome
I'd buy a bright red bathing suit
On the beach I would run
In slow motion for fun
To show off my best attribute
Now don't think I'd just get them for vanity
There's much I'd aspire to do
I could feed many babies
When I was lactating
And for convenience, I could offer drive-thru
In a t-shirt I'd test air conditioning
They could 'see' if they had it too low
And if I stood outside
My breasts pumped up with pride
Police'd use me to stop traffic flow
Well you can see I've a lot to consider
For the big plunge, I need some more time
So I'll keep you updated
But for now they're just fated
To stay as they are for a while
And there's my sweetie who totally accepts me
For he loves each and every little bit
He says "stay as you are
You're the most beautiful by far"
As he gazes into my eyes not my tits
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heimlich Maneuver
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Ladies at Lunch
Jill: Did you make any New Year's Resolutions?
Mary: I certainly did! I resolved to be celibate.
Jill: How's it going?
Mary: Great! I haven't had a decent date in eight years anyway
Linda was complaining to Jill that her husband was a great tosser
and
turner, and was forever squeezing her on to the edge of the bed or
rolling over and taking the blankets.
Jill said that she never had a problem with her husband John. He
just
falls asleep on his side and stays there all night."
"Hows he do that?" Linda asked.
Jill replied, "He has a built in kick stand."
Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a
man away?
1) Get away or I'll call the police!!!
2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.
Two older men sat on a bench in the park. One said, "I hear that
eating raw oysters puts lead in your pencil."
The other man said, "I don't like raw oysters, and to tell you the
truth, I don't have any women to write to!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At dinner one night, my sister's kids asked, "Daddy, why do you call
Mommy honey?"
"Mommy is my honey," he said (rather sappily, but that's the kind of
guy he is). The kids picked up the metaphor and innocently ran with
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My sister and her husband were unable to look at each other for the
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone
could show him a trick he's never seen before.
"I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to
need your wife Claudia and a table."
"Ok", says David and the guy gets up on stage.
He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her panties
and starts doing her from behind.
David is now very pissed off and says, "That isn't a trick!"
The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies,
"I know, it's fucking magic."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1432
Stock Market Crash
Rudy: Explain the stock market crash to us Pops.
BJ: Okay I will try. See those dog biscuits over there in a pile?
Rudy: Yeah.
BJ: Okay, there are about twenty in that pile. Let's say you lie
down
and think about eating one of them. You go over and instead of
twenty,
there are only ten.
Rudy: Hey, who got the other ten?
BJ: Exactly! That is what has been happening to the stock market.
Rudy: That is serious business.
BJ: Then you go over and want to get your ten buscuits and find the
ten
are only as good as five.
Rudy: That is a ripoff.
BJ: I understand.
Rudy: Not fair at all.
BJ: I totally agree.
Rudy: So what do you do?
BJ: Wait...
Rudy: Wait?
BJ: Wait, then your biscuits will turn into twenty again.
Rudy: A-roo! I like that.
BJ: Maybe, maybe not.
Rudy: Not much fun being in the stock market huh?
BJ: Right now, no.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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