Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Carol Barton Wrote
Below is a list of major retailers along with store
closures or plans to close.
Got this list from Google.
1. Ann Taylor is closing 117 stores nationwide.
2. Eddie Bauer to close more stores. The company has
already closed 27 shops in the first quarter and plans
to close up to two more outlet stores by the end of the
year.
3. Cache is closing 20 to 23 stores this year.
4. Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, and Catherines are closing
150 stores nationwide.
5. Talbots, and J. Jill are closing all 78 of its kids
and men's stores. Now the company says it will close
another 22 underperforming stores. The 22 stores will be
a mix of Talbots women's and J. Jill.
6. Gap Inc. will be closing 85 stores.
7. Foot Locker to close 140 stores.
8. Wickes Furniture is going out of business and closing
all of its stores.
9. Levitz, the furniture retailer, is going out of
business and closing all 76 of its stores in December.
10. Zales, Piercing Pagoda plans to close 82 stores by
July 31. It has also announced that it is closing
another 23 underperforming stores.
11. The Walt Disney Company subsidiary Children's Place
filed for bankruptcy protection in late March. Walt
Disney, in a news release, said it has also obtained the
right to close about 98 Disney Stores in the U.S.
12. Home Depot has 15 store closings.
13. CompUSA clarifies details on its store closings. Any
extended warranties purchased for products through
CompUSA will be honored by a third-party provider,
Assurant Solutions.
14. Macy's is closing 9 stores.
15. Movie Gallery is closing 160 stores as part of
reorganization plan to exit. They plan to close 400 of
3,500 Movie Gallery and Hollywood Video stores in
addition to the 520 locations the video rental chain
closed last fall.
16. Pacific Sunwear is closing 153 Demo stores.
17. Pep Boys is closing 33 stores.
18. Sprint Nextel is closing 125 retail locations.
19. J. C. Penney, Lowe's, and Office Depot are scaling
back.
20. Ethan Allen Interiors announced plans to close 12 of
300+ stores in an effort to cut costs.
21. Wilsons the Leather Experts is closing 158 stores.
22. Sharper Image: The company recently filed for
bankruptcy protection and announced that 90 of its 184
stores are closing.
23. Bombay Company: The company unveiled plans to close
all 384 U.S.-based Bombay Company stores.
24. KB Toys posted a list of 356 stores that it is
closing around the United States as part of its
bankruptcy reorganization.
25. Dillard's plans to close more stores.
26. Steve and Barry's Clothing, which has 240 stores
filed for bankruptcy.
27. Starbucks is in the process of closing 600 stores.
buffalo says The actual list I saw on AOL was 36 stores long. These
are going to be in addition to 900,000 manufacturing and high paying
jobs that have evaporated over the past 4 years. There is plenty of
blame to go around on what a mess our economy is right now but we
are looking at a cause for home foreclosures that no one seems to
want to mention, because they are all to blame. You are at a job for
ten years, have a good savings account, 401k retirement plan and
real estate companies are begging for you to buy a home for a little
more than what you are paying for rent. You realize that it is a bit
above your means but with a few years and a few more raises you will
be able to handle a fixed rate mortgage before the balloon on your
A.R.M. hits and you sign the papers and move into a new house.
Fast forward to this fall and because of tight credit and bad sales
the company you are working for closes its doors or maybe you were
making parts for one of the SUVs and because of the price of gas your
services were no longer needed. Unemployment doesn't stretch very far
and soon your taking loans against your 401k and your savings
is gone. Then the foreclosure notice comes in and you are living in
your parents basement.
Some would have is believe that like the SNL skit these people that
are losing their homes are minorities, ex-felons, never had a job,
drug addicts, and don't support their children or families. There
probably is some that were that way but I suspect there was a lot
more like you or me. Every candidate will tell you that they feel the
pain but I don't think either presidential candidate has a clue how
to fix this mess but we have to stop the loss of jobs first. I live
in Michigan where over a million people and some of the best jobs in
the world have left in the past ten years. We raise the taxes on the
remaining people and companies to keep things
going but that doesn't seem to be working real well and we have the
highest unemployment rate in the country. It should be no surprise
that Detroit has the highest foreclosure rate in the country and
Michigan is third overall.
Tell your candidate to fix the jobs situation and credit, health
care, and a lot of other things will take care of itself.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Halloween Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He
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small parcel and a note, which reads:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bell Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twelve Mexican priests were about to be ordained.
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Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were
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Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
He bent over to pick it up....
...then all the other bells started to ring
Michelle
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Worm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided to
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The man gets no sleep that night worried to death about what the
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The man comes in the next day and he brings the hard boiled egg and
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The man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor shoves the
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"Please!" says the man, terrified of what is to come next.
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About a minute later, the man is about to pass out from terror and he
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tapeworm sticks its head out his rear end and yells, "Where's my
lemon cookie?!"
...and WHAM! Down comes the hammer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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The English teacher of the girls school used to fail all her
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Stan Kegal
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An English major was being released from prison.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Words They Want Gone
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Wallpaper
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luigi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vincenzo and Luigi were sitting on a bench in a New York park. "Hey,"
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"Never lika dat!" answered Luigi .
"Den you Guinea bastard, whya you keepa fuckin' my wife?" Vincenzo
asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
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Queer Aid (Engrish blooper)
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Shirt advertising
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now Gail is a heckuva Ghostess
I say this but then I can boastess
She'll come up and coo,
Well, how do you 'boo'
She is the Ghostess with the Mostess
(Clynch Varnadore)
A really old vampire named "Tex"
Is "out for blood" and I suspects
He's not a nice guy
If he catches your eye
It's you who will likely be necks
(Gary Hallock)
The mummy was looking quite dapper
"Got rich from my music, Old Chapper '
Cause the music that comes
When my bandages hum
Has made me the world's greatest wrapper!"
(Clynch Varnadore)
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things you don't want to hear from another person the
first time s/he sees you naked:
Just how MANY times were you circumsized?
If that thing moves, I swear, I'm gonna shoot it!
On second thought, I think I WILL have that drink.
I'm no expert, but shouldn't there be only two of
those?
I don't believe I've ever seen a pair of those that
long!
Wow! Smoking really DOES stunt your growth, doesn't
it?
Isn't that supposed to be on the other side?
That reminds me! Who's up for shrimp?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman's husband dies, and while at the funeral home watching the
mortician prepare her husband for final internment, she asked if he
would cut off her husbands dick for her. The mortician thought this
to be an odd request, but since it was her husband, he complied with
her wishes and cut it off and gave it to her. She wrapped it up and
took it home. When she got home, she pulled out a frying pan, threw
some chopped onions, garlic, green peppers, and some butter into the
pan, and started cutting up the dick. Her neighbor walked in at this
point and saw what she was doing, and asked, "What are you doing with
*that*??!!" The woman replied, "Hey, for 35 years I ate it his way,
now I'm gonna eat it my way!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1438
Fairy Tales
BJ walks into the living room and finds the dogs asleep. They have
been watching Cinderella. He turns off the TV and leaves the dogs to
their dreams...
Rudy: I don't care what you pay me, I am not driving a pumkin to no
darn ball.
Katie: You must, I have my dress all ready. The prince will be
there. It is my time to shine.
Fairy-godmother Sandi: You will go. I have turned the cats into
horses. Rudy you must be her escort to the dance and drive the horses.
Rudy: Oh gosh darn it. Okay.
Katie: I think you look rather dashing in a tux and a top hat.
later at the ball... Katie is dancing with the prince and the clock
starts to chime midnight..
Katie: I must run before the final chime strikes.
Prince: Why must thou hasten so?
Katie: It tis so, here is my slipper come find me.
Katie dashes off into the night...
Upon decree of the land, the prince hurries to each house to try and
find the match for the shoe. Finally he reaches the house where
Katie lives and finds Horace the Turkey, the shoe fits.. hey it is a
fairy tale..
The end
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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