Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It was a great fall Saturday. MSU made their annual trip to
Ann Arbor today to play the University of Michigan and for
the first time in six years walked away victorious. It is sad
to see another Michigan team lose a chance at a Bowl
game but they still have to play Ohio State and several other
tough teams so their chances are not good.
In between the games Sandy prepared a huge baking chicken
with stuffing that was the size of a small turkey. After pigging
out on that meal it felt like Thanksgiving and I stumbled to
my bed and took a nap during the middle of the Ohio State-
Penn State game. I woke up late in the third quarter and Penn
State won so Ohio State and Michigan State share second
place in the Big Ten right now.
This all brought back memories of Sunday dinners growing up
but with 8 brothers and sisters at the time it was usually at least
two large hens or beef roasts like you would see at a banquet
with the meat so tender you could cut it with a fork. This time of
year we would butcher our own steer and pigs and with a large
garden it wasn't unusual to have a meal you had raised with your
own hands. Getting up and down off of the ground is getting harder
these days but if I lived out in the country I think I would enjoy
having
some raised beds with a variety of veggies growing in them.
Enjoy the chips and have a great Sunday... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Tanning Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights
and
jogs five miles every day.
One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He
notices
that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides
to
do something about it.
He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the
sand except for the one part sticking out.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks
down
and says, "There really is no justice in this world."
The other little old lady says, "What do you mean?"
The first little old lady says, "Look at that."
"When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it."
"When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it."
"When I was 30 years old, I enjoyed it."
"When I was 40 years old, I asked for it."
"When I was 50 years old, I paid for it."
"When I was 60 years old, I prayed for it."
"When I was 70 years old, I forgot about it."
"And now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild!!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
talks with his hands
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Flaming Fanny
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Brain Waves
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stupid Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wouldn't say my brother is stupid, but.......
...He keeps forgetting I'm an only child!
...He thinks 'Oral Sex' is 'Talking' about it.
...He's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
...He puts a bucket under the pipe when there's a gas leak.
...He has an intellect that is rivaled only by Egg plants.
...We have to make introductions around the breakfast table every
morning.
...He stayed up all last night studying for his blood test.
...He sure makes my dog look smart!
...He studied all weekend for a urine test.
...He can't convert 0 feet to meters.
...He was supposed to try out for a part in Dumb and Dumber but forgot
to turn up.
...He still checks the inside of his hands to see if "it" really will
cause hair to grow!!
...He keeps forgetting he's my sister
...When my parents said they'd send him abroad, he asked how old she
was
...But he had a battle of wits with a doorknob and lost.
...But he looked hard at the orange juice container because it said
concentrate
...He forgotten that he's been dead for the last five years
...He got drunk, walked into the wall four times and said "Shit, I'm
bricked in!"
...He stole a free cookie!
...He couldn't count his testicles and come up with the same number
twice!
...He thinks a Toadstool is a well endowed frog
...When he got on the bus, he asked for a return. When the driver
asked
him "Where to?" He replied "Back here!"
...It takes him an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes"
...After joining the I.R.A. and being told to blow up a bus, he burnt
his lips on the exhaust pipe
...He saw a sign that said "wet floor"... so he did.
...When mum said to take butter out from the fridge, he took the
butter
outdoors!
...He thinks Sherlock Holmes is a block of flats
...In his first airplane travel was astonished to see he was not
becoming smaller in size
...I've seen bread dough with more intelligence.
...When they tested his I.Q., the score began with Minus.
...When they were handing out brains, he couldn't even find the line.
...But if you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change
back.
...He thinks a woman with crabs is a seafood delicacy.
...If he had one more IQ he'd be a pot plant.
...He had just learned to count to 21 when he got arrested for
indecent
exposure.
...Last night, when I turned of the lights he wrote a letter to God,
asking him why he didn't pay his electric bill.
...He has to pull down his pants to count to 11
...He couldn't empty water from a boot if the instructions were
written
on the heel
...But then, I'm a blonde
...But I would give him a dollar for every thought he had, and still
have from five dollars.
...He's trying to teach "sit up & beg" to his pet rock?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Quiz.....
1. The most erotic experience a woman over 35 can have is:
a. having her knees rubbed with sour cream
b. simultaneously using the food processor, the blender, and the
microwave
c. reading a sex quiz
d. shopping for shoes
2. When a businessman buys a red Mercedes, he is hoping to:
a. acquire a mistress
b. attract his neighbor's wife
c. preserve his youth
d. get a tax write-off
3. A marriage is in trouble when the husband brings home from the
video store:
a. Kitten with a Whip
b. Sex Slaves of New Haven
c. Emmanuelle II meets Rocky IV
d. The girl who works behind the counter
4. Condoms are not recommended for use:
a. before the 15th of the month
b. after the 15th of the month
c. immediately after sex
d. children under 10
5. Religious families generally have large families because:
a. they generally have more children
b. they just have natural rhythm
c. the Bible forbids television
d. they're just lucky
6. The Bible condemns homosexuals because:
a. they go to the theater a lot
b. they look too much like heterosexuals
c. they don't keep two sets of clothes
d. it's impossible to determine who should take out the garbage
7. After their 35th birthday, fewer than 10% of women ever achieve:
a. multiple orchids b. a satisfactory weight-loss program c. a job
that pays as much as a man's d. comfortable shoes
8. It is not uncommon for the average male to worry about the size of
his:
a. bank account
b. piano
c. office
d. necktie
9. In addition to traditional methods, AIDS can also be transmitted
by:
a. petting goldfish
b. handling chicken fat
c. kissing the family dog
d. bloody bar room brawls
10. Conception has been known to occur in:
a. the ovarian tubes
b. eustachian tubes
c. the Goodyear tube station
d. back seat of a Camaro
11. "Time of the month" refers to:
a. ovulation
b. undulation
c. a new moon
d. the weekend of AFC vs. NFC championship football
12. Testosterone is a kind of:
a. Italian ice cream
b. testimony given in an Italian court
c. umpire in an Italian cricket match
d. Italian chicken fat
13. An erogenous zone is an area where:
a. women tend to fall asleep
b. women tend to develop sudden headaches
c. men tend to laugh before the punchline
d. it is forbidden to park your rogenous
14. At least 50% of males suffer from premature:
a. emasculation
b. matriculation
c. baldness
d. laughter before the punchline
15. Judeo-Christian tradition frowns on:
a. premarital sex
b. post-marital sex
c. the opposite sex
d. carnal knowledge with non-kosher animals
16. The average frequency of sexual relations is:
a. 78.8 megahertz
b. 92.3 kilohertz
c. 98.4 oyithertz
d. depends on how often your wife works late
17. Which is not considered erotic vocabulary:
a. doo-doo
b. thingamajig
c. doggie-woggie
d. Who owns this pussy?
18. In your personal experience, sex is:
a. overrated but undersupplied
b. oversupplied but not overpriced
c. over there but not over here
d. over
If you answered a. to all of the above.... you got some of them right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny sat glumly all evening eyeing his wife suspiciously.
Finally, he blurted, "Suzy, admit it. You've been blowing the dog,
haven't you?!"
"What?!" she shouted. "How can you say such a thing?"
"I've been watching you two," Little Johnny answered, " and, every
time you yawn, he gets a hard-on!"
The morning after an all-night honeymoon expert virtuoso performance
in bed, the somewhat amazed but blissfully happy newlywed wife
snuggles up to her new hubby and says, "Darling, you are just
wonderful. Last night was simply amazing. May I ask how many others
were there before me?"
After a few moments of silence, the wife becomes a little testy and
says, "Come on, I know there must have been some - I'm waiting."
And "Captain Experience" takes a deep breath and says, "Hang on
sweetheart, I'm still counting."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Missing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peter met Sharon in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company
very much and at the end of the evening Sharon invited Peter to her
place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and
energetic session in bed together.
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and
snuggled up close to each other.
After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Peter's manhood.
Surprised but appreciative, Peter comments, "Surely you can't be
ready for more already?"
Sharon replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic,
and I miss the days when I had mine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A former manager of the New York Yankees once told about a dream he
had in which he died and went to heaven. There he was ordered to
organize and manage a ball team. He said he was overwhelmed by all
the available talent - Christy Mathewson, Walter Johnson, Rube
Waddell, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and many other superstars.
Just then the phone rang. It was Satan calling to challenge the
heavenly team to a game. "But you haven't got a chance of winning,"
said the manager. "You see I got all the great ball players up here."
Satan explained, "Oh, I know that. But I've got all the umpires!"
------------
Seated at the breakfast table, Jill was bent over in pain, and
complained to her husband, "My head aches, I have a pain in my
stomach, and my left breast feels like it's on fire."
"Poor girl," solaced hubby, "Here's an aspirin for your head, alka
seltzer for your stomach, and if you lift your breast out of the hot
coffee, I'm sure it won't burn so much."
------------
One of my friends got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive
driving course to have points erased from her license. The
instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was
crucial, and that the classroom doors would be locked when each
session began.
Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door.
The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"
The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva sharing from Judy/As Years Go By
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Can't Take It Anymore
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TurkeyIfic Graphics
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Snowfall Script
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How to carry plywood
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Drunk trust
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, a dynamic young preacher
raised himself to his full height, leaned over the pulpit, and
boomed, Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have
committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mouf."
Mary: I used to call my last live-in "Head Hunter."
Jill: Oh, was that because of his business tactics?
Mary: No! It was because he was always looking for some way to get
me to give him head!
Well Bill, how are you getting on with trying to date that new
cocktail waitress?"
"Not so bad. I'm getting some encouragement now."
"Really, is she beginning to smile sweetly at you or something?"
"Not exactly, but last night she said that she's said 'NO' for the
last time."
Mary: I've never met a man with such low self-esteem as his. He told
me that his mother always called him her "little bastard."
Jill: That's terrible! Certainly his parents were married!
Mary: Uh, yeah, but not to each other!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flaming Fanny
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Brain Waves
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New Years Resolution
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Royal Stuck-up
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Typing
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Book of Mormon
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Big Nutz
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
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With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An uncertain young woman named Fern
Was so great she had lovers to burn.
She got into bed
With both Johnnie and Fred
And didn't know which way to turn.
There once was a lady named Mable,
whose ass was as big as a table.
"Never you mind."
said a frind of mine.
She's ready, willing, and able.
there once was a guy at a mall
who thought he was tough shit and all
he thought he was slick
when he whipped out his dick
but girls laughed cause his dick was too small
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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It also works great for digging post holes, removing weeds and
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With Bonus Recargeable Drill
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Australian entered a bar and stood beside a
Scotsman. "Where are you from, pal?" asked the
Scotsman, after they had chatted for a while.
"I'm from the finest country in the whole wide
world." Said the Australian.
"Are you?" said the other, "you have a damn
funny accent for a Scotsman."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up to
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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob's sister was one of the most popular girls in Manhattan. She had
more boyfriends then she knew what to do with and she never wanted
for a thing. Bob was always in debt and constantly asking his sister
for spending money. "I don't understand you, Bob," she said in
obvious annoyance one afternoon when he tried to put the bite on her
for a 10 spot. "I don't have any trouble saving money, so why should
you?"
"Sure, sure," he said, " But you've got money coming in all the time
from the very thing that's keeping me broke."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1451
A Haunting We Will Go
BJ: I like Katie's outfit.
Diana: She has pestered me enough but it is done.
Katie: Is it finally done?
Diana: Katherine, I did yours first. Here try it on.
Katie: Kool, I like the Kape. I like the hood. Father do you have
my fake fangs?
BJ: Here you go girl.
Katie: Oh this is too much. I need to wax my hair back...there that
is better. Do I look like a vampire now?
BJ: Oh yes, I am so scared.
Diana: You need to put the outfit up for Halloween.
Katie: Awwww....okay.
Rudy comes in: Hey look it's Elvis! Sing a song will ya?
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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