Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
With my family I am never at a loss for an intro to the chips.
I was in my room watching the news this afternoon when I
heard a scuffle in the living room. Buffy was trying to tell Eva
something and Eva was giving her a big defiant," No." This
went on for a few minutes and Buffy came in to use her computer.
I asked her what the argument was about and she said that
she had been trying to teach Eva how to pedal her Barbie
Big Wheel tricycle. She said she had duct taped her feet
to the pedals but it hadn't worked because Eva had just slipped
her feet out of her socks. I am looking at the trike right
now and there is a duct tape stirrup hanging from the right
pedal on the trike.
I offered her a bit of advice on how to teach Eva how to pedal.
I told her to invite her cousin to bring his son over and put him
on the trike and Eva would see how it is done and imitate him.
It is how we taught Buffy because children need to see someone
doing it and we sure can't fit on the trike.
Buffy has been putting off toilet training, and if I ever see duct
tape on the toilet seat I will know that she has begun.
enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What should you do when your girlfriend tells you she fakes orgasms?
Pretend you don't hear her.
As his last action in the White House, lame duck president George W.
Bush will mandate that all gas stations play porn at the pump so you
can see someone else getting screwed the same time you are.
A man brought his date back to his apartment, ripped both their
clothes off and then said, "I'd like you to meet my little friend."
The woman took a look, gathered her clothes and said, "Call me when
he
grows up."
If it's true some men have a severe allergic reaction to latex
condoms
that causes excessive swelling, what's the problem?
The judge asked the prostitute, "So when did you realize you had
been
raped?" Wiping away tears, she replied, "When the check bounced!"
An old professor got up one morning feeling like a 20 year old
student, but he couldn't find one on campus who was awake that early.
A belligerent drunk walked into a tavern and yelled, "I can lick any
man in this place!" The bouncer replied, "Is this your first time in
a
gay bar?"
What do you call two hookers who testify on behalf of their pimp?
Support hos.
What did the blonde sorority girl say after having multiple orgasms?
"So, do you all play for the same team?"
Why did the lesbian cut short her trip to China?
She missed her native tongue.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Hidden
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75 toons were added today to the Political section
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Really Horny Chick
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Mona Stoned
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheik Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the Sheiks' oil fields dried up, he realized he would have to
cut back on expenses quickly. As much as he hated to, he knew he
would have to give-up most of his harem. He decided to find out which
ones performed best in all aspects of sex and retain just those few.
Night after night the "contest" was held. Then one of the younger
girls performed such outstanding oral sex on him, he knew she was one
of the chosen. "Tell me," he said, "what is the secret of your
fabulous technique."
"What I did, Oh Sovereign of the Sands, was to suck on ice cubes
prior to our session." replied the girl. "You see, my Mother told me
that in most cases, the cooler head always prevails."
A sheik employed a track star to run from the palace to his harem,
which was about three miles away, to fetch one of his wives whenever
he was in the mood. The sheik would nod and the track star would take
off. This event usually took place about three times a day until the
runner died at age 36. The sheik lived to be 96.
The moral of the story is, "Sex doesn't kill you... it's the running
after it that does."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Job Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three men were trying to guess the professions of their respective
dates of the previous evening, judging by their bedroom performance
and conversation.
The first insisted that his date had been a nurse, because she
said, "Lie back and relax. This won't hurt a bit."
The second concluded that his must have been a school teacher,
because she had said, "Do it over and over until you get it right."
The third figured that his date must have been a stewardess, because
all she had said was, "Put this over your mouth and nose and continue
to breathe normally.
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A executive had to take a business trip overseas, so he entrusted
his
assistant with the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything
out
of the ordinary should occur, the assistant was to notify him
immediately. After a week with no contact, the business¬man received
an e mail that read, "The man who comes to visit your wife every
night
didn't show up yesterday."
Two big shot lawyers hired a secretary from a small town in the
hills.
She was attractive but obviously knew nothing about city
life. "She's
so young and pretty she may be taken advantage of by some of those
fast-talking city guys," one attorney said to the other. "Why don't
we
teach her what's right and what's wrong?" "Great idea," said the
partner. "You teach her what's right."
A gay man had stopped for a red light when he was rear ended by a
big
18 wheeler. The furious man left his car, walked back to the truck
and
started screaming, "I'm going to sue you!" The truck driver said,
"Blow me!" The gay man stopped for a second and then said, "So you
want to settle out of court?"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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File Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes into a hardware store. He flags down an employee
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"No," says the customer.
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Slip Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was sitting on a bus looking ashamed. The
man next to him noticed and asked what the was
the matter.
He said that when he went to buy the bus ticket,
the woman serving him had the most unbelievable
breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two
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The man next to him laughed and said, ''Don't
worry about that. We all make Freudian slips.
This morning I was having breakfast with my
wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I
accidentally said,
"You f***ing bitch, you ruined my life."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
The King's Kid Inspirational Poetry
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Today
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John w/ A Talking Picture Of You
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Slide Shows by Limey Lady
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Carol w/Sisters
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Movies
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Beer
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Beer By the Pool
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How To Put On a Bra
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What Old People Do For Fun
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What The West Would Have Been Like With Shetland Ponies
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My daughter Lili was five when she received a foam CD holder with
plastic sleeves for all her music CDs. I explained to her that CDs
are sensitive to light and heat, so she should not leave the holder
in the sun.
During our home addition, the electrician was working in the backyard
and Lili had gone to play in the sandbox, leaving her new CD holder
on the patio table. My wife saw it and told Lili she was going to put
it in the house.
Lili stood up in the sandbox and said, "Mommy, make sure you put it
where the sun doesn't shine!"
The electrician took a break.
Bill: "I met the foxiest lady today but she was tied up for the
evening."
Doug: "That's too bad."
Bill: "She gave me her phone number though."
Doug: "It sounds to me like you've got it made."
Bill: "I'm not too sure. She has a 900 number!"
A sailor who had been at sea for a long time was anxious to be
reunited with his girlfriend, so he sent her the following message a
few days before his ship was due back in port. "I have missed you so
much and I can't wait to make love to you. I want you to come down to
the pier to meet me, and I want you to bring the station wagon and
have a mattress ready in the back so we can do it as soon as I step
ashore."
The young lady who was just as anxious to make love, sent him a
reply. "I will get the station wagon ready as you said, but you had
better be the first one off that ship, sailor, because I will not be
checking I.D. cards!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Hooker
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Love Hurts
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Blonde
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a slimmer named Steen
Who grew so phenomenally lean
And flat, and compressed,
That his back touched his chest,
So that sideways he couldn't be seen.
____________
There was a young lady named Melanie,
Who was asked by a man, "Do you sell any?"
She replied, "No, siree.
I give it for free.
To sell it, dear sir, is a felony.
____________
I wooed a buxom young nude in Bermuda,
I was lewd, but my God! She was lewder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude --
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She looked so fair,
in the midnight air,
With the wind blowing up her nightie...
Her tits hung loose,
like the balls of a moose,
Jesus Christ Almighty...
The nipples on her tits were as big as my thumb,
The wiggle of her ass could make a dead man come,
She sucks like a vacuum,
and she's real fucking dumb,
She's the girl for me.
buffalo says What's her phone number?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A census taker in a rural area went up to a
farmhouse and knocked. When a woman
came to the door, he asked her how many
children she had and their ages.
She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins,
Sally and Billy, they're eighteen. And the twins,
Seth & Beth, they're sixteen. And the twins,
Penny and Jenny, they're fourteen---- "
"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you
get twins every time?"
The woman answered, "Heck no, there were
hundreds of times we didn't get nothin'."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1453
The Pumpkin Bunny
Diana: BJ come look at Sandi, she is adorable.
Sandi comes into the room, she is a fluffy Pumkin Bunny.
BJ: Well I have no words to express this.
Sandi: What do you think daddy?
BJ: I have never seen a pumkin bunny before.
Katie comes into the room....and starts to giggle
then to laugh...: What is this an overgrown orange?
Ha ha ha ha.... with ears yet? Ha ha ha ha.
BJ: Be nice Katie.
Katie: I can't help it...it is so funny...
KA-POW!!!
Sandi: I am the Pumpkin Bunny and I bring candy to the kids
on Halloween and you will be nice or I will give you another
black eye.
Katie: Right and a nice right hook.
Rudy: Hey pumpkin bunny can I have a treat?
Sandi: Sure thing.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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