[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner



THE POSTMAN'S CORNER



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Yesterday, I managed to get out of the house for the first time since
coming home from hospital last Monday. The "war department" loaded
me into the car and we went up to a local restaurant  for lunch. It sure
seemed nice. Now of course today, my buddy called and asked if it
was ok if I went out for a cup of coffee with him and the "war department"
resoundingly replied "NO ...nothin doing." I guess I am still locked up in
the "war department's" jail. lol I was thinking, maybe I should call her the "warden" in stead of the "war department." hehehe.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

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THE COMICS

the firing squad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w051.html
 
another urban legend is born
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name that tv theme..a game for baby boomers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies2672.html
 
 
sports-power point display
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp1090.html

The caterer was consulting with a woman about throwing
a birthday party for her 75-year-old husband. "Is it a surprise?"
the caterer asked. "Oh, no," answered the woman.
"My husband knows he's going to be 75."
_____
 
I was going down an elevator with three or four women, all of whom were
strangers to me. At the first floor, I automatically stepped to one side
to let them all off.  As the last one preceded me, she turned and said,
"When Women's Lib takes over, you'll get off first."
"Listen, lady," I said, smiling, "I'm a Woman's Lib-er myself. I want all
women to be free." "You do?" she said, rather astonished.
"Yes," I said. "I hate it when they charge."
________________
 
A man was not only upset that his daughter was getting married, but to
further aggravate him, it was to a Greek.  Sweating, he decided to have
a father-to-daughter frank discussion with her.
"Honey, if your in bed with your husband and he tells you to roll over,
well, er, uh, well, you just don't have to."
After the newlyweds had been married for some time, they were in bed and
the husband tells his new wife, "OK, roll over."
"My father told me that I don't have to if I don't want to!!" she screamed.
"You want to get pregnant, don't you?"  he replied.
________________
 
Life is unfair. 
I lost my car keys at a ball game and
never found them. 
I lost my sunglasses at  the beach
and never found them. 
I lost my socks in the washing machine
and never found them. 
I lost three pounds on a diet --
I found them and five more." 
_____________
 
A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation
that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation,...
No one wanted him to leave. Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in
the City, stands up and proclaims, . 'If the Preacher stays, I will provide
him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to
transport their children!' The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says,
'If the Preacher will stay on here I'll personally double his salary and
also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his
children!' More sighs and loud applause. Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and
announces with a smile, 'If the Preacher stays, ... I will give him sex!'
There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks, 'Mrs. Jones, whatever
possessed you to say that?' Sadie's 90-year-old husband, Jake, is now trying to
hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from
side to side, while his wife replies, 'Well, I just asked my husband how we
could help and he said,   .......   'Screw the Preacher!'
Isn't senility wonderful? Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand
over my mouth.
______________
 
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the
receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will
prepared.The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a
convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my
life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it
be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went
to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and
the will. The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what
you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed
under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here,
I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to
be distributed?"The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a
reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like
them to notice when I pass on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my
funeral."The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have
a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting
impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But
tell me," he continued, "what would you like to do with the
remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've
lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept
with a man. Before I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to
arrange for a man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but
I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the
eccentric spinster and her weird request.
After thinking about how much she could do around the house with
$5,000 and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to
provide the service himself. She said, "I'll drive you over
tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you're finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and
waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an hour,
but her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his
head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the
County bury her!"
 
Buffalo Bill
 
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman









 

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