Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Nancy called to say she was stopping by this morning and as
Nancy and her son Joey walked in I noticed a large box in his
hands with the picture of a pair of bikini clad breasts. Nancy
opened the box and it contained what was on the outside of the
box mounted on a plaque. Nancy plugged it into the wall and
they began to jiggle and the C and W song Titties and Beer
began playing in stereo. Mary had mentioned that she had left
a pair of singing boots for me but I guess I need my hearing
checked. I truly love my sister Mary and it is a cute gift but it
belongs on the wall of someone who has his beer drinking
buddies by often and I live a hermit's life. It will occupy a place
of honor on the wall amongst my other memorabilia and some day
it will be item 104 in my estate auction," A pair of Jingle Jugs"
only
played a few times.
Enjoy the chips and I'm outta here.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every
day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round
and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that it's a
woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that she's very
attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest
of the round together. She agrees and a very close match ensues.
She turns out to be a very talented golfer and she wins their
little competition on the last hole. He congratulates her in the
parking lot then offers to give her a lift when he sees she
doesn't have a car. All in all it's been a highly enjoyable
morning.
On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company
and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on
the course for a long time. "In fact.", she says. "I'd like you
to pull over so I can show you how much I appreciated
everything."
ever had.
The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggests they
play together again. He's actually quite competitive and slightly
peeved that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a
magnificent day, enjoying each other's company and playing a
tight, competitive round of golf. Again she pips him at the last,
again he drives her home, and again she shows her appreciation.
This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day.
This is a sore point for his male ego but, nevertheless, in the
car home from their Friday afternoon round, he tells her that he
has had such a fine week that he has a surprise planned. Dinner
for two at a fancy candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of
passion in the penthouse apartment of a posh hotel.
Surprisingly, she bursts into tears and says she can't agree to
this. He can't work out what the fuss is about, but eventually
she admits the reason.
"You see," she tearfully sobs. "I'm a transvestite.
He is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to
a screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion.
"I'm sorry." she repeats.
"You bastard!" he screams, red in the face, "You cheating
bastard. You've been playing off the red tees all week!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Celebrities Dicks
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Charged
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Liar
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Cheer leader 1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into
the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached
a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Make
love to me or climb the ladder to success," she said.
No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next
cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly
easier on the eye. "Do me hard or climb the ladder to success," she
said. "Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on."
On the next cloud was an even prettier lady who, this time, was
quite attractive. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she
uttered.
As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to
himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the
next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. "Just
do me like crazy here and now or climb the ladder to success," she
flirted.
Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man,
he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was
a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his
head.
"Who are you?" the man asked.
"Hello" said the ugly fat man, "I'm Cess!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman gave birth to six babies. On seeing this she got out of her
hospital bed, slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to go
doggy style"
Q. What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and
a single 40-year-old man?
A. The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the
man thinks often about dating them.
A man is having a beer with his buddies at the bar and tells them,
"I'm divorcing my wife because she has disgusting habits. I went to
piss in the sink this morning and it was still full of dirty
dishes..."
One of our geeks was at my computer adjusting some settings so I
took
the opportunity to ask him a question.
"With all this stuff going around, how do I know if I have a virus?"
He kept working, but without missing a beat he said, "It will burn
when you pee."
Mrs. Professor said to her best friend Verniece one day, "I just
don't know what's up with the old professor...
out, he's been drinking tea with his pinkie sticking out."
"There's nothing wrong with that," said Verniece. "In fact, most
places it's considered good manners to drink tea with the little
finger sticking out."
"But you don't understand!" replied Mrs. Professor, he isn't using
his little finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
How are women like snow flakes???
They are all beautiful.
They are all different.
They can be cold as ice.
But they'll all melt when they land on your face.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go to my place
and spread the word.
During a course in human sexuality, the instructor was
discussing various items in the Kinsey report.
The class members gasped audibly when the instructor read out
that a woman had several hundred orgasms in a single session.
A male voice said, "Wow, who was she?"
A female voice followed with, "The hell with that ...Who was 'HE?' "
Myron
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Lunch Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and
asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across
the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus sitting over there?' The
waitress nodded 'yes,' so the Republican requested that she give
Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He
shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down and asked the waitress
for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and
asked, 'Is that Jesus over there?' The waitress nodded, so the
Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, 'My treat.'
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on
crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, 'Hey
there, honey! How's about getting' me a cold glass of Miller Light?'
He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that God's boy
over there?' The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed
her to give Jesus a glass of wine. 'On my bill,' he said.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him
and said,'For your kindness, you are healed.' The Republican felt
the strength come back into his legs, got up and danced a jig out
the door.
Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, 'For
your kindness ,you are healed.' The Libertarian felt his back
straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did
a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and
yelled, 'Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability.'
Gasleak
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bee Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young husband and wife were honeymooning in Jamaica. They had
finished making love and decided to go sun at the nearby nude
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honeybee
buzzed into the woman's slightly open vagina.
The husband covered her with a coat,pulled on his shorts,carried her
to the car and made a dash to the hospital.
After examining her,the black doctor explained that the bee was too
far in
to be reached with forceps.
He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on
his
penis,penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.
The man agreed to try,but because he was so nervous,he couldn't rise
to the occasion."If neither of you objects,"the doctor said,"I could
give it a try."
Under the circumstances,
undressed,rubbed his thick nine inch penis in her slit until it was
good and hard then he
slathered on some honey and inserted his penis into her vagina. He
started with short strokes and then his strokes became deeper and
faster.
The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor's rapid deep
thrusting continued for several long minutes.The wife was getting
all
worked up with the doctor's big penis in her and started moaning and
screamed that she was cumming.
"Hey,What the hell is happening?"
"Change of plans,"The black doctor panted."I'm drowning the little
bastard!."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Tears Of Innocence
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A Love Letter
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Making Memories Of Us by LonesomeCowboy
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My Space Contact Tables
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Enabling Spell Check in Mac OSX
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Movies
Jugs Judy
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Kassie
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Ketchup Effect
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Kid In The Background
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Kite Surfer
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Worst Seats
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WoW
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Wrong Ball
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Wrong Gift
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Hama Rat
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John came home in great excitement and said to Jill, "You'll never
believe it, but I've discovered an entirely new position for
lovemaking."
"Really," Jill said, interested at once. "What is it?"
"Back to back," John replies
"But that's crazy. We can't do anything back to back" says Jill
"Yes we can," John says. "I've persuaded another couple to help
out."
A new study says that having sex decreases your chances of getting a
cold. The more sex you have, the less you'll have a cold.
Just wait until guys get hold of this. A woman sneezes and he'll be
saying, "Hey, I got something for that."
A grossly overweight woman gets on a train and seats herself next to
a man during rush hour. The train was packed and the woman turns to
the man and says, "If YOU were a gentleman, you'd stand and let one
of these other ladies sit down!"
The man looks at her and replies, "And if YOU were a lady, you'd
stand and left FIVE or SIX of them sit down!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Butts
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Butt1
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Caught
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Caught you
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cloths?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Swamp Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Way.... back in da Louisana swamp, Der lived a family named
Geautroux,
Gaston & Clouteal.
One mornin' Gaston got in his Pe'rouge (a flat bottom canoe)
an paddled inta' town to go to work.
Dat evenin' he come paddelin' home and Clouteal was standin'
on da bank of da bayou. Ol' Gaston asked: How you doin' taday
Cherre'?
Clouteal said: Ya no dat big ass alligator dat live behind da house?
Gaston said: Ya...
Well...... he ate one of da kids!!
Ol' Gaston jumped up and started to yell!! Wat da matta wit you
woman!!
She said: Gaston, Dats alrite, we go to bed and make another one.
Gaston tought a little bit and he reluctantly agreed.
About a year later, Gaston was commin' home again and she was
standin'
on da bank. He says , How you doin' honey?
She says OK, but dat big ass allegator ate another one of da kids
!!!
Gaston flew into a rage !! Clouteal said: Don't worry, I'll jus make
sometin' ta eat and we can go ta bed and make another one!
Gaston once again reluctenly agreed.
About a year later Gaston was commin' home again and she was
standin'
on
da bank. Gaston was afraid ta ask how she was doin'.
She said: Dat Allegator ate another one if da kids !!!
Ol' Gaston jumped up and threw his paddle down an stomped inside da
house wit clouteal close behind.
She said: It's OK, I'll cook somtin' and we can make another one!!
Gaston turned to her and said: What are you woman couyan' (crazy),
If
you tink I'm gonna work all day and fuck all nite ta feed dat big
ass
allegator, Ya Crazy !!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LAWYER: "On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the
farmhouse
down the footpath to the cowshed?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the
duckpond?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And did you observe anything?"
WITNESS: "I did." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?"
WITNESS: "I saw George."
LAWYER: " You saw George, the defendant in this case?"
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Can you tell the Court what George was doing?"
WITNESS: "Yes." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, would you kindly do so?"
WITNESS: " He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks."
LAWYER: "His 'thing?'"
WITNESS: "You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis."
LAWYER: "You passed close by the duckpond, the light was good, you
were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?"
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Did you say anything to him?"
WITNESS: "Of course, I did!"
LAWYER: "What did you say to him?"
WITNESS: "Morning, George."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The four newlyweds spent their honeymoon at the Niagara Falls.
They occupied adjoining rooms, sat at the same table, and were
inseparable.
One evening after dinner as they were returning to their rooms,
there
was lightning and the lights went off. It was pitch dark, and
groping
their way they made it to their rooms, and quietly undressed. Jack a
religious fellow knelt to pray. Just as he completed his prayer, the
lights came on that he saw that he was with his friend's wife. He
jumped up and dashed for the door
"Too late to hurry now," said the girl "Joe never prays!"
A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg.
The
first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the
leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $10,000.
The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second
actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied,
"This situation is right here in the fire schedule rating table. The
object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1396
Real or Not?
BJ wakes up in his bed and jumps up.
BJ: What?
Sandi stretches and she to leaps out of the bed along with Katie.
Katie: I dreamt I was laying on a blanket in a meadow by a stream.
Sandi: Me to.
Upstairs.... A-Rooo!!!!!
Diana awakes when Rudy does his A-roo!
Diana: BJ what is going on?
BJ: I am not certain, but we are home.
Diana: How did we get home?
BJ: Did we ever leave home?
Katie: I am scared. I don't understand.
BJ: I think we had a mystery that we all really understand, but do
not
comprehend and that is okay.
Diana: That is?
BJ: The traveler, Joel, is on his way. He brought us home,
mystically.
Sandi: I know him, even though I do not know him. I have dreamt
about
him many times and we have visited. He will always be the traveler
to me.
Rudy: To me to.
Katie: and to me.
Diana: Yeah, I think the Traveler fits him better.
BJ: We took him in once and gave you guys the gift of speech.
Katie: Boy I am bet you are happy for that.
BJ: Sometimes.
The end
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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