[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For WEd



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

When I was working at the University of San Diego which is a
private school with roots as a Catholic College for Women and
still maintains close ties to the church and Other Catholic Colleges
along the West Coast. It was a great place to work, a little slow
on matching the wage scale of the state Universities but it had
an excellent benefits package. Included in this package were
12 paid holidays a year because they chose to let you have Good
Friday, Christmas and New Year Eve along with the accepted
Federal Holidays. You also had ten paid sick days a year, two
of which were floating holidays, so if you wanted to take your
birthday off you simply put in for a floating holiday. Because many
of the employees were second generation Mexicans they also
celebrated Cinqo de Mayo, not with a day off but with a banquet
in the cafeteria. They also held an employee picnic once a year
and allowed non alcoholic department parties at Christmas time.
Like I said nice place to work and you were free to observe your
own holidays.

Now I don't know if you have heard this story of the 700 Somali
Muslims
who work for Tyson in Shelbyville.

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. -- Some workers at a local plant will no longer
to be able to take their Labor Day holiday because of religious
reasons.

Workers at the Tyson Foods poultry processing plant in Shelbyville
will no longer have a paid day off on Labor Day but will instead be
granted the Muslim holiday Eid al-Fitr.

According to a news release from the Retail, Wholesale and
Department Store Union, a new five-year contract at the plant
included the change to accommodate Muslim workers at the plant.

http://www.wsmv.com/news/17063986/detail.html

Personally I have nothing against a large workforce getting a few
accommodations like the final day of fasting during the Feast of
Ramadan on October First off but not when you tell the other 500
employees they can't observe Labor Day. I know the union asked
for this but there are other ways around this without swapping a
federal holiday for a religious one.

As long as Tyson decides to continue this practice there will be
no Tyson chicken served in this house and that includes fast food
chicken if I find out say that Burger King's Bucking Chicken comes
from Tyson. Maybe if enough people stop buying their products they
can close their plant for religious observances 265 days a year.

Pardon my Rant

buffalo

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Mating Chips
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Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the
woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the
mouth of a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened
closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He
then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was
all about. 'Was that Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when
Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the
opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful
woman in there waiting for us.'

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up
to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'
Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from
deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and
then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the
size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the
size of this cave! It's bigger than those the Indians found. There
must be some really big, fine women in this cave!' He stood in
front of the opening and hollered with all his might, 'Wooooo!
Wooooo! Wooooo!'

Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO,
WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his
face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read....

(Get ready, this will kill ya),

NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY A TRAIN.

Kent

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Bi-Sexual
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Better Or Worse
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Muslim Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Middle -Eastern mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a
plate
oftabouli and a pint of goat's milk.The older of the mothers pulls a
bag out
of her purse and starts flippingthrough photos and they start
reminiscing.'

This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old
now.''Yes, I remember him as a baby,' says the other mother
cheerfully.'He's
a martyr now ,though,' Mom confides.

'Oh, so sad, dear,' says theother.'And this is my second son,
Kalid.
He would be 21.''Oh, I remember him", says the other happily. 'He
had such
curly hair when he was born.''He's a martyr too,' says Mum quietly.

'Oh, gracious
me ...' says the other.'And this is my third son. My baby. My
beautiful
Ahmed.He would be 18,' she whispers.'Yes,' says the friend
enthusiastically.
'I remember when he first started school.''He's a martyr, also,'
says Mum,
with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim
mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says...'They blow up
so fast,
don't they?'

Jim Tenn

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Arkansas Chips
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We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing
the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of
that earthly, musky scent that only those fortunate
enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and quiet whispering
of
the leaves in the Weeping Willow overhead added the final touch to
the
most romantic scene.

We lay there, both naked, I knew I had to have her
and have her now. Without a word being spoken,
I managed to move myself to a position of dominance.

I could feel instantly that this was what she had been waiting for
as
she frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved
slowly at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her.

Then as tension rose, we began the ultimate in sex. Although
inexperienced, she approached every change of position with
enthusiasm,
moaning with despair every time I withdrew to prevent myself from
ending
it all too soon.

As sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable mind-blowing
climax,
it was all I could do to hold out until the moment we had both been
waiting for was upon us. As it did we rolled together in the now
damp
grass.

As the last deep orange glow of the long set sun melted
into the darkness of approaching night, as we lay there
still entwined in an amorous embrace, I kissed her long
and loving and whispered how good she had been, and
she tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear and
whispered: "Baaaa", then re-joined the flock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Glove Chips
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During the wedding reception in the family's southern mansion, the
bride's Granddaddy slipped her five $100 bills and told her that it
was
for her and to keep it for 'mad money', so she stuffed them in her
gloves

By family tradition, the couple spent their first night together in
their historic plantation house. Later that night, after all the
guests
had left, the bride's Grandmother saw her sneaking down the stairs ,
and
asked where she was going. "I left my gloves in the library, Grand-
MaMa,
and it's important that I have them."

"Oh you youngsters !" the Grandmother sighed. "You
march yourself right
back upstairs and grab hold of that damm thing with your bare hands
just
like I did your Granddaddy's."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Charade Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess any
charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV
special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a
million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The
Charade player agrees. Comes the big night, all the world is
watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a
curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude
young women. The second and fourth ladies are holding their
breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are baring
their behinds. The charade player barely glances over them and
says, "The William Tell Overture by Rossini." The flabbergasted
producer says in awe, "You've done it. That's the right answer.
You are indeed the greatest charade player!" and hands him a check
for a million bucks. Walking out, a reporter stops the charade
player and asks him how he did it.

"It's really simple," says the charade player. "One look at the
positions of the seven women, and I realized it as the William Tell
Overture." "Rump... titty... rump... titty... rump... rump...
rump."

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Vaginal Chips
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This lady goes to the gynecologist but won't reveal to the
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right away. After hours of waiting, her name is called and she's
taken to the examination room. The Doctor asks, "Ok my good woman
what is your problem?" "Well, she says, my husband is a very
compulsive gambler and every nickel he can get his hands on he
gambles. I have scrimped and saved every dollar I could to save up
$500. I didn't know a safe hiding place, so I stuffed it up my
vagina. But now, I can't get it out!" The doctor says, "Don't be
nervous, I see things like this all the time. He asks her to remove
her clothes and sit on the edge of the examination table with her
legs apart. As he's putting on his rubber gloves, he glances up at
her and asks... "I only have one question. What am I looking for?
Bills or loose change?"

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Ram
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Unreleased Bud Ad
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toad Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a yellow frog and all the other frogs used to tease
him. So, one day he went to an old witch and asked if she could,
change him to green.

The witch said she could and she said the magic words. The frog was
green!

But when the frog looked down he said, "Witch, my private parts are
still yellow!"

The witch said, "I don't do private parts; you'll have to go to my
sister down the road." And so off the frog went.

Later that day a blue deer came to ask the witch to change him to
brown. The witch did. Then he too saw that his private parts were
blue. "What about my private parts?" The witch told him to go to
his sister's house and she'd change his private parts to brown.

The deer said, "I'm not very good with directions. How do I get
there?"

The witch said, "Oh that's easy, just follow the yellow dicked
toad!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A neurotic young playboy named Gleason
Liked boys for no tangible reason
A frontal lobotomy
All but cured him of sodomy
But ruined his plans for the season.

Suzie Wong and her sister looked tight
When they laid Mr. Wright one hot night
He resisted just one
But a pair?.. Too much fun
Which is how two Wongs made a Wright.

There was a young man from Mauritius,
who said his last fuck was delicious,
but the next time I come,
It'll be up your bum,
'cause that scab on your cunt looks suspicious
<snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when
she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she
approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: "Ah,
you're lovely, aren't you?" she says to the first dog. "What's your
name?" To her surprise, the dog actually answers her, "My name's
Huey, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles."
Delighted with this discovery, she moves on to the next dog. "And
what's your name then?" Again, unbelievably, the 2nd dog answers
her, "My name's Lewy, and I've had a great day going in and out of
puddles."

And so she moves on to the last dog. "Let me guess," she says.
"your name's Dewy, and you've had a great day going in and out of
puddles."

"No," replies the last dog. "My name's Puddles, and I've had an
awful day."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake
and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next two hours.
I sure would like a piece of cake when you're finished."

Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cooled cake, Little
Johnny exclaimed, "Golly, it worked!"

Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece
around here, you have to be real nice and spend a couple of hours
playing first!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is BIG: You can save up to 60% on gas each year
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1383

True or False Cont

Katie: Werewolves?

Rudy: False.

Sandi: Bigfoot, Boggy Creek Monster, The Snowman?

Katie: Maybe true.

Rudy: Gulp!

Rudy: Sea serpents?

Sandi: You mean like the Loch Ness?

Rudy: Yes.

Katie: I would hope so.

Rudy: Unicorns?

Sandi: Probably all gone...sniff...except in Katieworld.

Katie: Dinosauers?

Rudy: All gone.

Sandi: Ghosts?

BJ: Hi guys!

Rudy: Ack!

Sandi: Thud!

Katie: Valid!

BJ: I guess I will not understand these guys.

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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